tagHow ToGetting Her in the Mood

Getting Her in the Mood


It continues to amaze me how many men don't understand that women love foreplay and a good fingering. With this I hope to give those out there something to think about and work from so that the next time they're with a woman they can give her one heck of an orgasm without having sexual intercourse.

Now all women are different and I myself only know what I want and what one other woman wants. I could generalize but that wouldn't help much, would it? So most of what I write about foreplay and fingering are going to be things that I know work for me and the other woman. Don't worry that the lady you try some of this stuff on won't like it, I'm sure that you at least know her enough to take what I'm about to tell you and tweak it for her specific pleasure.

First we'll start off with foreplay. Men, foreplay is your best friend. Most women want to be in the mood before having sex of any kind. It just feels better that way, it seems to become more personal when your body is all electrified and begging for something more.

Now here are the erogenous zones that I know of:

-Ears and earlobes



-Collar bone

-Inside of elbows

-Underside of wrists



-Breasts (nipples included)

-Between the breasts

-Hip bone (you know that little bump on each side of the lower abdomen just under the navel and just before the mound) and the skin just around it.

-Lower back

-Inside of thighs

-Behind the knees


-Feet and toes

Basically I've named off nearly every bit of the body. But believe me these places each have their own specific spots within that if licked/rubbed/tickled will produce a very good reaction out of your woman.

Now I will try and give brief descriptions of how to work with each of these zones. Please note that feet and toes will get a very brief description seeing as that's not one of my zones so I know nothing about it except what I've heard.

Ears and earlobes:

This one's pretty easy. Some women like a little tongue in their ear. For this just make sure you have your tongue pointed so you'll be able to get into those tight spaces. Stick your tongue just to the opening of the hole in the ear. Then begin tracing the inside of the ear going from the space next to the hole and up the folds then around the outside of the ear. Do this very lightly. When you reach the lobe, lick/suck/nibble/bite, whatever you feel like doing or you think/know your woman wants.

It also doesn't hurt to breathe softly while doing this. Hot breath on the ear and the sound of it can send shivers down her back, especially after the ear is wet with saliva, the hot and cold of it all is very nice.

I also find that the spot just behind the lobe and jaw is a wonderful place to kiss or lick gently.

Neck: The neck. Probably the most thought of place when it comes to turning a woman on without touching her down there, and with good reason. I myself can have a wonderful orgasm with just having my neck kissed, nibbled, and licked.

This one is pretty simple. Maybe go here after you've finished with the ear. Use your tongue, still pointed, to trail lightly down from the spot behind the lobe and jaw. Don't worry if your tongue gets dry. All you have to do pull your tongue into your mouth while bringing your lips down to kiss while you rewet your tongue.

Once you've trailed down as much as you like, or your woman likes (each woman has a different area of the neck that sets her on fire). I'd try the spot where neck meets shoulder or just a bit above.

Just kiss this area, lick it like you'd lick a popsicle (meaning no pointed tongue anymore), suck gently, and maybe a bit of nibbling if that's what's desired. You may also like to trace shapes with your tongue here. Feel free to kiss gently up and down the neck, going from the spot where neck meets shoulders back up to the earlobe and then down again. This is very relaxing and yes, you want your woman relaxed. It will still keep her excited, so no worries.

Shoulders: Not many women prefer here but it can work if she's already in the mood. Same idea as with the neck. Kisses, nibbles, tracing.

Collar bone: Definitely a great spot. Again very simple with just kissing, nibbling, sucking, tracing.

Inside of elbows/underside of wrists/back of knees: These all go together because the skin here is fairly thin and sensitive to heat and touch. With the elbow you can start at the shoulder and kiss/lick your way down and then take her arm and bend it slightly or all the way, just so your tongue can slip in and out of the fold here. Don't let your tongue get too wet but don't let it get too dry either. I'd say your best bet is going for more wet than dry.

You can do that or you can leave the arm open and kiss and lick this spot.

Same thing applies to the back of the knee.

As for the wrist just kiss and lick and if you like you can nibble. But with nibbling don't try to grab some skin between your teeth unless your woman likes feeling pinched. Turn her wrist so you can bite the top side and bottom side.

Fingers: Men aren't the only ones who like their fingers sucked and licked. Basically however you like your fingers sucked and licked will work with the woman. Also try holding two of her fingers together and sticking your tongue between them. It feels a little slimy to her but still good. This might set her giggling or laughing but she's still in the mood (unless she hates slimy feelings).

Palms: One of my favorite places to lick on a guy. It works for women, too. Tracing with your pointed tongue works as does plain old licking and kissing. Hold her hand close to your mouth and let her feel your breath on her palm. Hold her palm over your lips because their soft skin feels nice. Then slip your tongue out to just barely touch her palm and trace around. Basically what you used to do as a kid when someone put their hand over your mouth to get them to take it away.

Breasts: This is where you can use your hands as well. Now guys, kneading is good and all but if I go by my preferences, it's not that great. Do some kneading (lots if your woman likes it) and then move on to using your finger or tongue to trace all over and around her breasts. You can tease her by getting close to her nipple and then pulling away. When you do actually take the nipple into your fingers or mouth here's what you can do:

With your fingers gently squeeze the nipple between them and roll it between your fingers gently. If you like try it a littler harder, the pressure depends on the woman (and sometimes how turned on she is).

With your mouth you can lick her nipple outright or you can suck it gently or hard and flick your tongue over it. She may jerk a little bit or gasp when you do this. Also you can take her nipple between your teeth and very gently apply pressure. Just like you wouldn't want a woman chomping down on your dick (unless you like pain) a woman does not want you clamping your teeth onto her nipple.

Between the breasts: Now here is one of my preferences so I figured it's a good suggestion. Simple kissing and licking is good here. Or you can combine the two. The best to explain how this is done is pretending like you're one of those sucker fish you see in the tanks at the store. Your lips are pressed to her skin and your tongue molds into the center. Wiggle it around.

Hold her breasts together and run your tongue between them. If she likes this she will love your dick between them with some lubrication.

This is a very new spot to me so I have no idea what's so nice about it.

Hip bone: This one you will have to be very careful with. Plenty of people are ticklish in this area. To get this right you will need to move slowly when approaching it and apply the right amount of pressure.

Too much pressure and it's no big thing, oh wow you're licking there, how nice. Too little pressure and she might buck and hit you in the nose with her hip bone and then the fun is ruined and all because it tickled.

To make this easier on both of you when you go for this spot put your hands on her hips with a thumb or finger very near the spot you want to go for. This will desensitize her skin enough so it doesn't tickle when you put your lips to it or your tongue. It will still tickle if you don't apply the right amount of pressure. But it won't be so hard to figure out.

Once you've got your tongue or lips on her here you can let go and use your hands to maybe fondle her breasts or run a finger between them. Or if you like you can play with the hair on her mound, but be careful as that may very well tickle her, too.

Now once you've gotten going this area is very much like the collar bone. Some sucking works wonders. Don't forget the tracing, licking, and kissing.

Inner thighs: This is a spot I wish men would focus on more. You probably should not go for this spot until you are ready to start playing with her down there. You can torture her by kissing and licking this area.

Use your tongue to trail up and down the insides of her thighs. Just as you reach the spot where her leg attaches to her torso go back down. I have also found that the skin between the thigh and the mound is very sensitive, much like the elbow, wrist, and back of the knee.

Using your tongue you can trail up this area between the thigh and mound and I can guarantee you that she will be wanting you to go down on her so badly she may start moving her hips. Whatever you do next is up to you. But don't leave her hanging too long or she'll get too frustrated and the mood will vanish.

Also sucking along that skin is great as is doing that along the rest of the inside of the thigh.

Lower back: Sound like an odd place? I know. The skin on the back isn't as sensitive as we'd like but it'll do. Now why the lower back? Because it's such a sexy area. You may also lick and kiss between the shoulder blades, just under that knob in the spine at the base of her neck.

Simple again. Just kiss, suck, and lick here. Tracing is good, too.

Ankles: Not the most sensitive of spots but there is a bit of thin skin just under the inside of the ankle. Pressing here with your tongue will have some affect on some women. Same thing as with the other spots on the body with thin skin.

Feet and toes: Maybe don't focus so much on the feet. I hear some men with feet fetishes like to fuck a woman's feet and some women with feet fetishes like to have that done to them. I'm not one of them so I can't give you much here.

The toes are a lot like the fingers. Treat them like you did the fingers. If you're afraid your woman doesn't exactly keep up her hygiene there then don't bother. Nothing worse than a tongue covered in sock lint.


And now for the next part: Fingering.

Thick fingers help a lot. But moving them in and out as you would your dick isn't always going to get a great reaction. Sure it feels good but there's not much stimulation there.

Two fingers, at most, work best. Start with one and then move on to two and you can go from one to two and back again several times.

Now I'm going to include rubbing in with this. I prefer rubbing to actual stimulation to the clit myself.

You may start where you like, with the clit or with the vagina, it's up to you and your woman. I'm going to start with the clit.

Getting your finger wet is a good idea for this because the pad of your finger dragging and pulling at the clit doesn't feel that great. You may do this by licking your finger (or even hotter, in my opinion, getting your woman to suck your finger for a moment), or sticking your finger inside her vagina. As long as your finger is wet it's all good.

It's pretty simple stuff if your going for direct contact with the clit. Some circular motions, up and down motions, gentle pinching if you can, and light flicking. All will give your woman a good time.

You may even use you thumb to rub over the opening to the vagina as your working on her clit. Some pressure to the outside is just as good as it is on the inside. Women can generally only feel something for the first 3 inches inside her, after that it's all about pressure.

*Side Note*

Remember as long as a guy is at least 3 inches long you will feel something. It's not really the length that matters but the width.

*End Note*

Now some of you may be wondering about the rubbing. Aren't you already doing that? Well yes, but I'm talking about non-direct clitoral stimulation. It's my favorite. I really can't stand having direct contact.

With this you can just leave her underwear on if it makes it easier. If her undies are off be sure that the lips are covering the clit. Use your fingers to apply pressure to the lips and make circular, up and down, and side to side motions. If you know where the clit is between the lips while you're rubbing you can concentrate the pressure to that general spot and it'll work even better.

If you are going into sexual intercourse right after this you might think about using your dick to rub her clit. Open the lips up and lay your dick inside. As much as I hate this analogy it's like putting a hot dog in a bun. Then thrust like you would if you were entering her. If you feel like it's not touching enough then have her hold it down more or you can do that yourself.

If she is on top she can do the rubbing herself. It's technically direct contact but it feels more like indirect since the skin on a dick is smoother than on the pads of a finger. You don't have those tiny ridges of the fingerprints running over it.

Now for actually fingering her. Remember start with one finger then move on to two. If your girl is big enough use what's necessary.

You may start with the in and out motion but be sure to move on to other things. When you have two fingers in her flick them back and forth. If you don't understand what I'm getting at this will help:

Place on finger on top of the other and then slide the bottom one out from underneath. It will create a sort of snapping feeling (like snapping your fingers). It might make her jump but that's okay, she was either surprised or excited by it, or both.

Don't do this repetitively. It will lose its surprise value. Each time you do it you should be able to surprise her.

Another motion you can do will require you to be in a position so that the pads of your fingers are facing up instead of down towards her ass.

I'm sure most of you know how to get into such a position, but if not then it's best to be laying on your side next to the woman so your palm is touching her mound without hurting your wrist, as if just laying it down.

Now when your fingers are like this, pads up, pull up with them, bending your fingers at the middle knuckles. It's best to do this in quick, short motions otherwise you will just be pressing on her. With the quick motions your fingers will slide.

While doing this it's also a good idea to pull your fingers in and out every so often.

Now there are two things you can do while fingering her. You can use your thumb to stimulate her clit or you can use your thumb to rub her ass. Whichever your woman prefers will be great.

That's all that I can think of. I hope this has been informative and given you something to work with. Remember that it's easier to get to know the woman some to really know how to tweak what I've said so she will get the most pleasure out of it.

Also if you want to change things up a bit I suggest chocolate syrup, whipped cream, body dust, kissing potions, heating massage oil, etc.

Kama Sutra usually has wonderful things to use. Like their set of chocolates complete with calligraphy brush.

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