Getting Mom Ch. 02

I found this conversation reassuring. Steve was a good friend, my best. We walked to his house and I said 'Hi' to his mom, Linda, and younger sister and the three of us chatted for a bit while Steve used the downstairs shower. Linda informed me that we were having quesadillas for dinner. "Stellar", I told her. After Steve finished I hopped in the shower myself.

I ate dinner with Steve and his sister, mom and dad. It was fun and light-hearted. Steve has a really cool family. I couldn't help but think about mom and wonder if she was OK. I imagined her alone in our house, and felt kind of guilty for leaving her alone. I checked my phone discretely at the table, no missed calls. I think it was best that I gave her some space, but no matter what I did I knew I'd wonder if I should have done something else. I still had no regrets about having sex with her. I knew that much.

I found a party through a peripheral friend of mine. I didn't know the guy who was hosting it, but Steve had heard of him and enough of our friend's were going that we secured an invite easily enough. We headed out around 7:00, early I know, because we wanted to stop by the liquor store. I bought booze for both of us with a crappy fake I.D. that was still good enough to work. One of the benefits to having a prematurely receding hairline is how well fake I.D.s always worked for me.

We stopped at a park and did a little pre-drinking. George and Matt met up with us. We had a pretty solid buzz going when we arrived at the party. It was one of the better ones. George and I managed to make out with a couple of girls, I even got under my girl's shirt. She had nice tits bigger than the average girl our age. I guess you could say I have a type. I was a lot more confident than normal and she seemed to really like me. I was kind of uninterested in her but still tried to get with her until she demurely and cutely denied me. She was very flirtatious and I decided to try playing it cool, which is honestly not my style. I like sincerity and not being cool enough to pretend everything is lame. On that night though, I just felt like having a good time and didn't really care about what this girl thought one way or the other. Eventually, she broke down and asked for my number and I gave it to her. The boys and I played some beer pong, I ran in to some old friends that I didn't expect to see there. Like I said, it was a decent party.

Steve and I were a little bit blasted when we left the party and started making our way back to his place. I still hadn't told mom that I wasn't coming home that night. It was a call that I was putting off. I still wanted to talk to her, I just didn't know how to go about it. Our relationship was never going to be the same, but how would it evolve? Steve walked up his driveway and in to his house. I told him I just had to call home before coming in.

It was 2:13, she would be asleep. I called mom on my cel. The phone rang twice.

"Hello?" her soft voice answered on the other end, shrugging the sleep out of her voice.

I froze briefly, I expected her to sleep through the call. I was going to leave a message for her. I was out past 2:00 and there was a good chance she would get pissed if she knew that I was still out. She might insist I come home.

I really wanted to talk to her about our last encounter, but I knew that now was probably a poor choice of timing. She would likely feel ambushed if I tried to initiate 'the talk' that we both knew was coming.

I wasn't sure what to say exactly. With so much to say, I was unable to utter a word. I was unsure of how to proceed and I didn't really feel like having a protracted conversation. I thought quickly.

"Hey mom, it's for me, I got it."

"Oh!" she said, surprised "OK, I didn't realize you were home."

"Yup, I'm in the basement. I'll talk to you tomorrow after I get up, I'm going to sleep in. G'night mom. I love you."

"...Goodnight sweety. I love you too. Talk to you tomorrow." *Click* Thank god we don't have caller I.D.

I tucked my phone in to my hoody pouch and quietly walked in to Steve's house. I went down in to his basement and sat on the couch that would soon be my bed. Steve was in the lounging chair to the left of me. We watched some television, sports highlights. We talked a bit intermittently. I set the alarm on my phone to be up early enough to get home in good time. I did not want to arouse mom's suspicion. Not long after, Steve went upstairs and I stared at the dark ceiling. I was awake for a long time after that. My last thoughts as I drifted off to sleep were of mom.

Chapter 4

I was rudely awoken at 9:45 by the alarm I had set. For those of you not keeping track, it was now Sunday morning. I woke up groggily and sat on the couch for a minute. I am usually good at waking up when I want to, but I had only fallen asleep about 5 hours earlier. I changed in to the running clothes that I had been wearing to play basketball the day before, I knew that they could be useful to the alibi that I might have to concoct that morning. Steve was still asleep so I sent him a text saying thanks for letting me stay the night, knowing he would get it when he woke up.

I arrived at my house half an hour later. I knew mom was almost definitely awake and milling around the kitchen or living room. I walked up the front steps. When I reached the front stoop I took off my back pack and left it outside the door, leaning against the wall. It would not be visible from inside the house. I opened the front door, steeled myself and stepped inside.

"Hello?" I heard mom call, it sounded like she was in the kitchen. "John? Is that you?" I heard her feet against the tile then hardwood floor grow louder.

"Yeah mom, it's me."

She rounded the corner and looked at me as I was taking off my second running shoe. My hand was braced against the wall for balance and my eyes were on my task at hand. She spoke. "Where were you? You weren't in your bed this morning?"

"I got up early and went for a run" I said without missing a beat. I turned to look at her. She was wearing an androgynous, loose fitting blue-gray sweater that looked warmer than was necessary this time of year. It went down to her thighs and hid her curves well. It was unusual to see her wearing such conservative clothing, but it could have just been a coincidence. It was not the first time I had seen that sweater.

She had faint bags under her eyes and wore no make-up, but still looked beautiful. Her blue-green eyes were quite striking, accentuated by that insipid sweater.

"Ok... Well," she breathed deep "is now an OK time to talk?" She had accepted my explanation. As long as I moved that bag on the stoop before she went out the front door, I was golden.

I held her gaze "Yeah sure mom, if now is a good time for you." I smiled reassuringly, which seemed to have a positive effect. I gestured my arm towards the living room as if to say 'after you.' I followed my mother.

She sat demurely on the two-cushioned couch, and instead of sitting in the chair across from her I sat next to her. She looked taken aback by this but said nothing and angled her legs and body in my direction. We sat there for a moment saying nothing, neither of us really knowing how to broach the subject at hand. Both of us planned on that conversation going a different way, but I did not predict the outcome that came to be. She spoke first.

"John," she began uncertainly, like she was guessing an answer she was unsure of. "I want to talk to you about what transpired between us two nights ago.

I couldn't help but smile at this obvious prelude. Mom noticed and I knew some explanation was in order. It was a strange statement to smile at and I knew it would confuse her or worse. "You don't say. I had hoped it was about that new car I have been pestering you about." I said jokingly.

She smiled back and looked at the floor as she realized why I had found this amusing. "Yes well, I suppose it is kind of obvious what we need to talk about. But John," she said, her tone once more becoming solemn "I need you to take this seriously. It's important to me."

I too became more serious. "I'm sorry mom, I certainly didn't mean to belittle you and I meant no offence."

"None was taken John, but you have to realize something." I braced myself for what I feared she was about to say. "John, what happened was a mistake." My stomach dropped. I thought I was ready to hear it. I wasn't.

She had gotten the tough part out and she was gearing up now. "It is wrong. It is illegal and it is unethical." I could see compassion in her eyes. It felt like pity. There is nothing more insulting to a proud man than pity. "I don't hold you completely responsible and I have now remembered a fair amount about the evening. I do feel like you took advantage of the situation, but the reality of the matter is I made no effort to stop you and..." She stopped, I held my breath with rapt attention. I could tell she was choosing her words very carefully.

She looked up in to my eyes "and if I'm being completely honest John, I was surprised by the strength of my physical reaction." Hope! "But John, it was a mistake and it can never, ever happen again." Crushing.

I was angered by that. I couldn't look at her. "Well that kind of sucks" I mumbled. I took a moment to collect my thoughts and we sat in silence for half a minute. I then moved my hand on to her knee and looked at her. I spoke in a direct and level tone. "I love you mom. Having sex with you was the best experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. You enjoyed it too. I don't regret it for a second and I have never felt more hurt than I do right now."

She was noticeably perturbed by that statement. She continued "I love you very much John. I will always love you no matter what, but I am your mother and what happened can't happen again, it just can't. You're my best friend and my son John, I just want things to go back to normal." She seemed frightened.

I looked at my mother square in the eye. She quailed slightly under my uncompromising stare. She averted her eyes. I said nothing for a while. I became more irate the longer I thought about our situation. How could she just discard me like that after we shared such an amazing experience together?

"Mom," I began "there is no more normal. We shared a life changing experience, you and I. I want- I need to pursue this new aspect of our relationship." She said nothing. She just looked at me with those beautiful eyes. "I would never force myself upon you, but the fact of the matter is that things will never be as they were. I need more than that now. I understand if you need to take it slow. This is a big change in our dynamic, but for better or worse mom, things will never be the same between us."

"John-" she pleaded.

"Stop! I can't control the way I feel about you mom. I love you. I love you as a woman and as my mother." I rubbed her knee lightly. She looked dejected and her shoulders were slumped. I leaned forward.

I spoke softly but firmly to her. "I'm in my final year of high school. I'll be moving away from home and going to university in just a matter of months. I have some money of my own put away and I have plenty of friends who would put me up if I needed them to. I can work during the summer and go into debt to pay for my schooling. When I turn 21, my trust that dad set up with his insurance company becomes available to me." Mom was there, but she looked like she was miles away.

"I'm going to give you space to process all this right now mom. I love you and I always will, but it has to be all or nothing. I won't torture myself by being around you without being with you in an intimate manner. I'm sorry, but I know what I'd be missing and I just can't bear that." I leaned forward further and kissed her gently on her cheek.

I got up to leave. As I was leaving I heard her whisper, barely audibly "I don't want to lose you John."

Without so much as slowing down or looking back I said, not harshly "then don't."

Chapter 5

I walked up to my room, more tired than I should have been. It was almost noon and I felt confident that I wouldn't be hearing from mom for the rest of the day. I wondered if I had been too harsh. No, I decided. I meant what I said and she needed to know exactly how I felt. We had always been very honest with each other and it was important to be that way now more than ever. Also, she had told me that she enjoyed herself and was unable to provide any specific reason why we had to keep our relationship platonic. All she had been able to offer was 'it's wrong' or 'unethical'. She had never once provided a specific reason why we had to terminate the physical aspect of our relationship.

I went on my laptop and surfed online for a bit. I went on facebook, checked out some funny websites. I did some homework and before long I noticed I was really hungry, it was almost 7:00. I went downstairs cautiously. I was still mad about how our earlier conversation went. I was relieved and disappointed to not find mom. I guess she was upstairs in her room. I made myself a cold-cut sandwich and returned to my room. I ate my dinner, read a bit of Shogun by James Clavell and had my lights out by 10.

I awoke the next morning before my weekday alarm on my phone, which I keep set for the five weekdays, went off. I got dressed in a polo and jeans. I was still pissed and I kind of just wanted to get out of the house and begin my day in earnest. I went downstairs to find mom in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Good morning John" she said tentatively.

"Mornin" I responded without looking at her.

"I made porridge." She smiled hopefully.

"Thanks mom. I'm not that hungry though. I'm supposed to meet George and Shauna to help them with calculus and I'm running a bit late" I lied. "I'll just grab something in the school caf."

She looked crestfallen "Oh, Ok. Well I'll see you after school then."

I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and a protein bar from the cupboard, which is why I entered the kitchen in the first place. "Yeah cool mom." I briefly made eye-contact with her for the first time. "See you then." I forced an obligatory, cordial smile.

I went to school. It was uneventful and boring as always. I wish I had something more interesting to tell you, maybe something slightly amusing happened that day and I just don't recall it. I am writing all this over a year after it happened. Any semi-anecdotal situation was apparently unmemorable.

Anyways, I left school and went home. Mom was there and she greeted me at the door. She asked me about my day and I gave short direct answers. I went up to my room, craving the seclusion. I regretted not making plans after school to minimize the time spent at home. Dinner went much the same way. Mom was trying to engage me in conversation. I was kind of distant. I finished quickly and went back to my room.

The next two weeks passed this way. I was close to graduating and I had given up on mom and me pursuing a physical relationship. I was kind of just punching the clock at home and counting the days until I graduated. I had already made plans to find a cheap apartment. I had been looking at places online. It wouldn't be glamorous, but it had to be an improvement. I was despondent. Mom became increasingly morose. There was one occasion when I went to the bathroom late at night and I could hear her sobbing in her room. I am ashamed to say that I found this just and appropriate, even though I felt a pang of guilt for the one woman I would always love. I didn't want to be cruel, I just couldn't forget the taste of a fruit so sweet. I would not pretend to be content with a shell of a relationship and I would not torture myself by being around her if I could avoid it. I felt that strongly.

As the days wore on I became more jaded, more resentful because of what she was depriving both of us. We were losing each other. I was 16 days away from graduating. I didn't know how much longer I would be sticking around at home. I would be out of there in less than three weeks though.

Chapter 6

I had taken to having dinner in my room. I pretty much stayed exclusively in my room when I was at home. I was away from home as much as I could manage. One evening, the pressure became too much for mom to bear.

I was watching a movie on my computer, eating pasta. And that's when I heard a soft knock at the door. At least I thought I did, I wasn't sure. I turned the volume down on my computer and listened again. Nothing. Then, as I reached for the volume, there was another knock, slightly louder than the first.

"It's open." I said this sarcastically. My door doesn't have a lock on it.

In walked mom. She had started dressing in the provocative manner in which she was accustomed only days after our night time liaison. I think that she wanted things to get back to normal as fast as possible and wanted to set a tone by behaving the way she normally did, which included dressing sexily. Today she was wearing a pine green sweater skirt that went down to her upper thigh. It plunged dramatically in front of her to give a generous view of her ample cleavage. Her bust, hips and waist were well accentuated by the thick black belt she wore around the latter of the three. It hugged her tightly. God, her whole body looked so tight and firm, yet soft and yielding. She had black leather heeled boots on that went up to just below her knee. Despite my new-found resolve, my cock flexed a bit when she walked in.

She looked sheepish and spoke quietly "John? Do you mind if I come in and talk with you for a while?"

I glanced at my clock, it was 10:30 on a Wednesday night. I paused for effect before responding. "Yeah sure, I could spare a couple of minutes."

This lack-lustre response was less than she was hoping for and she walked farther in to my room, her heels clacking on the floor. She stood in the middle of the room and began to speak. Her voice was higher than normal and I could tell she was struggling to keep herself composed.

"John, I just needed to come talk to you. I've missed you these last couple of weeks."

This hurt me unexpectedly. Have you ever had a bad fight with someone you loved and hardened yourself against anything they could say to you? Have they ever surprised and overwhelmed you by saying something sweet and loving that shattered your defenses because you were braced for a harsh comment, but not for a compassionate and pleading one? That is how I felt in that exact moment.

"I want us to go back to the way things were. I want to be your friend again. I love you so much John."

"Then why did you reject me? After I pleasured you and reached a new level of closeness with you, why did you take it all away and break my heart?"

She teared a little. She looked up and blinked the forming tears in to submission. She looked me in the eye. "That's not what I wanted to do baby. I love you so much and you don't understand what this means. We can't have a carnal relationship. It's just not right."

I stood up suddenly. I was frustrated and I'm sure that it came through in my tone. "Mom, I know you're upset about committing incest with me." She winced at that word. I couldn't pretend not to notice.

"Mom, I know you don't like hearing that. I know that you are hung up on the social stigma and your 'responsibility as a parent'." I held up both hands in a peace-sign to make air quotations for the end portion of that statement. "But the reality of the matter is -"

I changed my train of thought as a new approach to expressing myself occurred to me.

"OK, look Mom." I subconsciously started punctuating my words with hand gestures. She looked at me with quivering lips and moist eyes.

"I understand why you feel bad. I understand why what we did is unsavory to you" I said, intentionally avoiding the 'i' word. "I understand that there are essentially two reasons why a mother and son making love is illegal. The first reason is increased likelihood of genetic abnormalities in potential offspring and the second is the perception that it is unfair for the parent to take advantage of the child."