Gift

Story Info
Wife understands why women cheat.
1.3k words
3.83
83.2k
33
Share this Story

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
cpete
cpete
1,712 Followers

Full credit this time has to go to Marina Pearson, with only a short ending on my part of this flash story.

+++++

2 years ago.

"How could you have done this to me, to us? Who are you and who did I marry?"

With tears in his eyes, my husband shouted and screamed these questions at me on the day he found out that I'd had an affair. All the while, I stood there shaking, in shock, not knowing what to say that would make what I had done right.

I was a cheater.

Looking back, I realize that nothing in that moment would have given him the solace and comfort that he was looking for - or that I was looking for. His love and care for me transformed into pure disdain and hate for the monster I had become in his eyes.

The question that came up repeatedly, to both he and I was: Why? Why did I cheat on him? Why would I do such a thing to a man who was caring, funny and generous? It wasn't like he beat me up or anything like that.

+++++

12 months ago.

His sister was in my face on the courthouse steps. Her tone and finger in my face made it obvious his sibling did not appreciate or understand what I had said to my now Ex-husband in court.

"How wonderful that my brother gave you the 'gift' of a chance to find true happiness within yourself." She said as her spittle fell just inches from my nose. "I wonder how he enjoys the 'gift' that you gave him. You know a wonderful present of the inability to ever fully trust someone ever again. But the most important thing is that you're happy."

I backed away from her as onlookers stared at us. I never considered that maybe he still wakes up with nightmares about this situation, I know a year later I still do.

++++

Present Day.

The breeze on my face felt good. The water was almost mirror calm, with just some small ripples as seagulls dived and dipped into the water.

If you are reading my thoughts right and judging me, I understand - that's human nature. And believe me, no one has judged me more harshly than I have, even now. Although it all turned out for the best, I wouldn't go down that road again - although, at the same time, I now completely understand why women cheat. Unfortunately, my (ex)-husband now understands this, too.

According to the 2012 UK Adultery survey, cheating women are more likely to stray in order to seek emotional fulfillment, enhanced self-esteem and romance. When women cheat will depend on how fulfilled they feel in their marriages. But according to the survey, wives who cheat will do so five years into their marriages whereas men will do so seven years in.

After much soul-searching, I finally began to understand the factors that drove me to cheat:

Chasing false happiness.

Back then, I was still living with the illusive notion that happiness is something I could acquire from an external source, so I bought into the fantasy (one that I also see many of my clients buy into) that somewhere in the world a magical one-dimensional man exists for no other purpose than to bring ME happiness. I believed that because I wasn't happy in my marriage with my ex-husband, that someone else could dish happiness up on a silver platter for me. Surely someone else could, right? But, of course, this is simply not true, and never will be. In fact, the whole ordeal of the affair stressed me out and exposed me to more confusion and unhappiness.

Lesson learned: Being part of the cheating wives' club, I understand now that running away from myself was not the answer and that I am responsible for my own happiness and fulfillment. My happiness is no one else's responsibility - not my spouse's, not some lover's-but mine!

Sneaking around instead of speaking up.

I honestly believed that I was a bad person for no longer feeling attracted to my ex-husband. So as not to hurt him, I kept quiet as that waning desire continued to fizzle away. I just couldn't find the words to tell him that I no longer found him sexually attractive. Instead of communicating honestly with him about my feelings, I ended up truly being a "bad person" when I cheated (while I also hoped he wouldn't find out about either). Deep underneath this pattern of guilt-leading-to-silence was a belief that I was not worthy of someone loving me as much as my ex husband did.

Lesson learned: What I now realize is that our beliefs and how we see ourselves can lead us to do some very crazy things. Belief systems are a powerful catalysts for behavior. By working on myself, I was able to finally overcome this pattern.

Remaining stuck in an immature mindset. I realize now that I lacked the maturity and the life skills needed to properly face the problems my ex-husband and I were experiencing at the time. We would argue, get upset and as a result, our communication would break down and, as a result, so did our intimacy. I didn't know how to change that dynamic or manage my thoughts about those conflicts either. Any time we argued, I honestly believed that he didn't love me. So, I "acted out" to have my own back.

Lesson learned: Keeping communication channels open is vitally important because by the time you sense communication has shut down, intimacy has usually already slid away from you. Before you know it, you are yearning for intimacy and connection deeply just no longer with your mate. I often hear that wives who cheat do so because of this very same communication breakdown in their existing relationship. They feel frustrated, no longer heard or misunderstood and they seek comfort, connection, and refuge in the arms of someone else.

My need wasn't wrong, but my actions were.

At the time I had my affair, passion in my relationship felt dead. I wanted my ex-husband to long for me, want me and care enough about me to woo me. But our relationship fell into a day-to-day routine, taking all the excitement out of it, and the passion died. I wanted to break free from that and thought the best way to do so was through a selfish act (having an affair).

I now realize that looking for passion outside of my established relationship was a short-lived solution, and that's all it ever could be. Working on rekindling what my ex and I once had - which was a lot - would have probably been the better option.

All of my reasons may sound like excuses and, you know what - my affair was a selfish act. I will be the first to admit it. I had options, choices, but when I put myself in the shoes of who I was at that time, I really felt then that an affair was the solution.

My overall feeling now is that if you are a woman who is contemplating becoming part of the cheating wives club (or you are a woman who already has cheated), then I ask you to seriously contemplate what you hope to get out of it and what has turned you toward such an action. If you're chasing happiness, I'm here to tell you that happiness comes from within. No one else can create that happiness for you.

Ultimately, I don't regret what I did, though I do deeply regret the hurt I caused. As a result of the affair, and then later, our divorce, my ex gave me the best gift you can give anyone - the opportunity, finally, to find my happiness within myself.

As I stepped over the bridge railing and leapt into the empty air, that thought of happiness competed with the question of how long before I hit the water 550 feet below.

cpete
cpete
1,712 Followers
Please rate this story
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
124 Comments
sbrooks103xsbrooks103x18 days ago

Just reading one of my older comments about how she wanted him to woo her. How many stories have we seen where the cheating wife talks about how her husband makes sweet, tender love to her, but sometimes she just wants to be "taken." Guys can't win!

AnonymousAnonymous18 days ago

Too dark

bigurnbigurn22 days ago

3 stars, as this wasn't much more than a bitch reciting her sins .. At least, you gave it a happy ending.

DukeofPaducahDukeofPaducah28 days ago

I found this to be a brief but interesting examination of a failed relationship. The ending damn near ruined my day.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Very sad. She clearly had serious mental problems. Her self analysis shows she had been to therapy and had thought about this. But thr stark ending showed her psychosis.

Generally I prefer stories from this author with an elaborate BTB like Death Do Us Apart and Blood from a Turnip series. A lot of the supposed "gray" ones or psychological ones, I find either dreary or repulsive. To each their own I guess.

Show More
Share this Story

Similar Stories

Now It Ends She pushed me too far and I had to leave.in Loving Wives
Not Guilty The evidence appears to be more than circumstantial.in Loving Wives
The Bridge Just another simple cuckold story?in Loving Wives
In Her Eyes A husband doesn't like what he sees.in Loving Wives
Interdiction Wife doesn't like husband's reaction to her planned date.in Loving Wives
More Stories