Girl Crush

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A girl grows up to finally be with her childhood hero.
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Imstillfun
Imstillfun
10,196 Followers

The first time I met Vanessa I was in the 8th grade. It was May and we were all looking forward to summer break and talking about what high school would be like. All we 8th graders were going to the high school for an orientation. When we got there we were broken into 10 groups of 12 and each group of 12 was hosted by a graduating senior.

She was the senior assigned to our group. You would think I would have first noticed how pretty she was, but that wasn't it. It was how she stood, and how well she spoke. 12 unruly 8th graders all stopped to listen to her when she spoke. She just commanded all our attention. We listened raptly to everything she told us as we toured the school.

We passed other groups. None of them were as involved as we were. We were asking questions almost vying for her attention.

I listened carefully as she explained that she was the senior class president and the role of student government. She worked on the student paper, and TV station. She told us about sports. She played volleyball. She laughed telling us they were not the top of the league or the bottom, but she told us the benefits.

When she asked, none of the girls my group were planning on playing sports. By the time she was done telling us about them I had already chosen to run track the next year.

When the tour was over I was disappointed. I wanted to spend more time with her. She seemed so nice. I wanted to be her friend. As we went to the bus she said good bye and wished us luck for the following year.

Over that summer I thought of her a lot. I thought about all she'd accomplished through school. From that one day, she became a model for me. I did go into student government, also did student news and tv. I also worked in theater. While in school I realized I was happier behind the scenes than on stage.

Once in awhile, around town, I'd see the girl. Not often, but once in awhile. The first time, I almost hid. I was with my mom and pointed her out. Embarrassing the hell out of me my mom said hello and told Vanessa that my name was Jess and about the impression she'd made on me. Vanessa asked me a question or two. I was so star struck I could barely answer. Afterwards, I felt so stupid I knew she'd hate me if she ever saw me again.

A few months later I saw her again. Well she actually saw me first and recognized me.

"Hi Jess," she said.

She stopped and said hello and asked about my school work. She was impressed with all the things I'd done and her approval made me feel wonderful. She told me where she went to school and that she was a journalism major. I was in heaven. I could not believe she remembered my name ever mind talked to me. I went home babbling all about her and how exciting journalism sounded.

After that, the few times I saw her I asked as many questions as I could. Truthfully I just wanted to hang around her. She'd ask me about my schoolwork, boyfriend(s), sports. She seemed genuinely interested in me. I would ask about her school and once asked about her dating.

She brushed me off laughing, "Who has time to date."

Every time we spoke I would go home filled with energy and talking about her and what we talked about.

When people would ask me what I wanted to do I was very specific. I wanted to do what she did. The same college and a journalism major, nothing else. As a senior it was the only college I applied to. With my grades and extracurricular activities, I was accepted early admissions.

It was about this time I started to reflect on how pretty she was. In high school she was 5'8 and maybe 105lbs. She was pretty. When I saw her I would notice her clothes. She always looked great. I would try and match her fashion sense. Not creepy like outfit for outfit, but the same styles.

In college she had become gorgeous. Her figure had filled out to what must have been a size 5. She had shoulder length blonde and long legs.

I had a boyfriend most of my senior year. Whenever I would see Vanessa I would tell him about her. I didn't realize how much I talked about her. He was the first person who used the words 'Girl Crush' with me.

It was towards the end of my senior year. I had just turned 18 and was having a small party. I was asking my boyfriend if he thought I could invite Vanessa. He laughed at me.

"You barely know her." he said. "She's what, 4 years older than you? Maybe 5? Do you really think she'd want to come party with your friends?"

"I know her. I see her all the time," I replied.

"Not really," he answered. "You talk about her all the time. I only remember you seeing her in February. You ran into her at a store. When else did you see her?"

I thought about it. He was right. I saw her 3 months ago for a few minutes. Before that I ran into her at a Starbucks and we chatted for 10 minutes catching up, and another time we said hi on a sidewalk.

"Wow, I guess you're right," I said. "I don't know why I thought it was more."

"Because you have a huge girl crush on her," he answered.

I'd never heard the term. I am straight. I was then. I had no sexual interest in girls. I mean, I could look and see one was pretty, but that's as far as it went.

"I'm not gay," I responded indignantly.

"I know," he said. "A girl crush is when a girl has an overwhelming interest in a girl she admires or is attracted to. It's not really sexual. It's a desire to be near her."

I tried to argue. He was being silly. I didn't have a crush on her. He listened to me argue. Unfortunately, the more I argued, the more I realized he was right. I didn't have sexual feelings for her, but I did totally want to hang with her.

It became a joke between us. Every time I'd mention her he'd just kind of snidely say 'girl crush'. It wasn't mean. He was saying it to be funny. I'd throw a pillow at him or play punch him in the arm and then go on with my story. Since I really didn't see her that much it was often a recollection of something she and I did or something she told me. Sometimes it was wondering what she would do or say in a specific situation.

To be clear, I wasn't obsessed with her. It's just that since this story is about her, I'm talking about her a lot. In reality I had, and still do, lots of interests and things I did but I would quote her a lot, mention how she did things or wonder how she would approach something.

Graduation happened and I did head off to the school she went to. I knew she had graduated but did not have any idea what she was doing. I actually wondered if I'd ever see her again. People often move away after college.

I was a week into my freshman journalism 101 class when she walked in. She walked up to the professor and handed him something. It was a big class, maybe 50-60 of us. She didn't see me. The professor introduced her as his TA and gave out her office hours. I wrote them down.

I looked at my schedule to see when I was free during her office hours. During most of them I had class but there was one open slot. I made a note to go visit her that day.

I probably could have just dropped in, but I was too nervous and excited to do that. We had a writing assignment so I decided I could ask her to clarify part of the assignment.

On the given day I went to her office. I realized it was actually the professor's office that she used when he didn't. As soon as I knocked she recognized me.

We made small talk. She of course didn't know I went to the school or that I majored in journalism. She was thrilled to find out I was in her class. We chatted about my other classes, and what she was doing. I asked my question which we disposed of in 5 minutes.

At one point she said, "I'm going to get some coffee. Would you like to join me?"

My heart stopped. This woman I admired so much had asked me for coffee. We went to the student union. We chatted all the way.

"Wow," she said. "You sure turn heads."

I was confused. "What?" I babbled.

"Really?" she said. "You didn't notice all those guys checking you out as we walked in?"

I hadn't. Like i said, I had a boyfriend my senior year, we'd recently broken up, but most other times I was just too busy for boys. I certainly didn't think they noticed me. I mean, I wasn't bad looking. I was 5'5" and about 110. I had wavy brown hair down to my shoulder blades. I had blue eyes that were a contrast to my hair. I had hips and a bustline 34c. I knew I was cute, but thought I just blended in.

As we talked we got into a little game of pointing out guys who were checking us out. We tried to figure out which they preferred. I was loving it. This girl I admired for so long was now paying attention to me.

As we were about to end the conversation something clicked. She told me she had a journalism assignment. It was to interview someone and write about it. When she graduated she wanted to work in front of the camera, so she really wanted to do the interview on video. She remembered that I was taking a video production class and I'd worked in the TV studio in high school.

She knew my professor and asked if I had a production assignment coming up. We looked at the syllabus online and realized I did.

She asked me if I wanted to help her produce the interview. I tried not to sound too excited. I'm sure I failed. We spent a little while discussing the assignment and how to go about it. First, I had to ask my professor if a joint project with Vanessa would count as that assignment.

I left coffee with my heart beating so fast I could not contain myself. I went right to my professor and pitched the idea. He loved it. I immediately called Vanessa. We were on.

I couldn't wait to tell people I knew that I was working on a project with Vanessa.

My roommate and a guy I worked with both said, "You mean your girl crush?"

I got mad and said she wasn't my 'girl crush'. They just laughed which made me even madder.

We got down to work on the project. Vanessa arranged an interview with a well known local politician. She told me that she probably got the interview on her looks. She had called and emailed him and the staff rejected her so she finally went to the office. At one point he'd seen her in the waiting room. A bit later he came out and said he'd heard she wanted to interview him. He agreed and gave us the name of the person to organize it with. She was not thrilled that her looks got her in but was happy about the interview.

We worked together setting up the project. We researched the candidate. Came up with questions. Talked about camera angles. We only had one camera so we needed to decide where we wanted to focus on him when he answered or her when she asked the questions.

Working with her was amazing. It was like everything I dreamed of. I was in heaven.

One night after working with her it was late when we were done. Vanessa suggested I just spend the night. I protested a little, truthfully I didn't want to walk home, so I finally said yes. We laughed about me doing the walk of shame home the next day. After all I hadn't brought clothes. She laughed and said the worst thing about the walk of shame is you're always going commando because you don't have clean underwear. We both laughed.

Then she made a joke about people seeing me leave.

"Well it's been so long since someone other than me left this apartment the neighbors will probably cheer for me," she joked.

We started talking about dating. Back when I was in high school she asked me about boys. This was different. This was a conversation about life. I was so excited to be with her I hung on her every word.

She told me she had lots of offers, and that most of them were from some very nice men. At that we went off on a slight tangent talking about some of the oddballs.

Then she told me she did not date a lot. She thought it wouldn't be fair to the men. She knew that she wanted to be an on air journalist when she finished her masters. She knew that meant moving, maybe more than once. It was not fair to expect a man to follow her.

It made perfect sense. We talked about friends with benefits but she always had to end them as the guy became too involved.

"I miss the closeness," she said. "Not the sex, although I really like that, but someone to share things with. I hate that every time I want to tell a story about work I have to start at the beginning and explain work and all the players."

It seems the only family she had was her mother who still lived in our hometown.

It was getting late Vanessa said she had a king bed and we could share it. I don't know why, but that made me both nervous and excited. I'd shared beds with girlfriends during sleepovers, but this was different. I still idolized this woman and we were only just becoming real friends.

She gave me a new toothbrush from a drawer and asked me what I slept in. I had a roommate at school so usually pajama bottoms and a t shirt. She went and got me some. She was taller than me so I knew they'd hang on me.

Then she started to undress. I don't usually even think about it when I change clothes with a girl friend. This was different. I actually watched. She was wearing a t shirt and jeans. She wasn't facing me. She had long ago kicked off her shoes. She pulled the T shirt over her head.i stood there and watched. I was just frozen. She turned to put the t shirt in the laundry and saw me looking at her.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I stuttered that I was and I looked away. I pulled my t shirt off. We stood there in our bras and jeans looking at each other. Finally Vanessa laughed.

"Well that was kind of awkward," she said.

I quickly apologized. She laughed. "No, I mean, it's not like we've been best friends forever, or we're in a locker room. It's just kind of weird."

I laughed. Then she said, "Well it not that often that I see a woman as sexy as you undressed, but you can use the bathroom if you want."

Did she say sexy? I didn't even think sex, I just thought that a woman, who's opinion I respected, told me I was sexy.

"I'm ok," I said. "I think we're past the initial awkwardness."

She joked back, "Whew, because that would have made sleeping with you really weird."

We both laughed. I didn't think either of us had sex on the brain, but it kind of hung in the background.

She was wearing a white lace bra. She reached behind her and unhooked it. She let it slip off her shoulders and fall on the bed. She had great breasts with perky pink nipples. She grabbed a T shirt and pulled it on it came down to her hips.

I pulled my bra off. My breasts were a little heavier on my frame but still looked great. She threw me a T shirt to put on. It was long on me, barely covered my ass ..

Then she unsnapped her jeans and pulled them and her panties off together. I noticed she shaved her pussy. She pulled out a cute pair of cotton boy shorts and pulled them on. I pulled off my jeans and panties and pulled on the pajama bottoms she gave me.

She asked me if I wanted some wine. Then she made a joke, "I always get this backwards. Wine first, then get naked. No wonder no one dates me."

We both laughed and went to the living room and drank some wine. It was bedtime. We both climbed into bed. My heart was beating. My hand accidentally brushed her hip. I apologized.

"No problem," she said. "Wore panties just so you'd be comfortable."

We both laughed. I think she fell asleep right away. I was awake for a while. I kept thinking what a great body she had.

Next morning we got up, said our goodbyes and headed out. I went home to change. She went to work on her project. Our interview was in a few days.

On the day of the interview we were ready. We had the camera angles worked out. We had the questions and follow up questions. We weren't expecting anything exciting. Standard fare.

We both dressed nice. Given Vanessa's assumption on why we got the interview, we decided to go on the sexy side of professional. You know, what you would see actors wear on TV when they were supposed to be professional but would be clubwear in real life. We looked professional but hot. We thought it might gain us some advantage.

We showed up in his office and were shown in. We reviewed what we were going to do and game plan for the interview. It was then that things got strange. I had the camera rolling when he made an off color joke about having a 3 some with us.

Alone, I would have died, but Vanessa jumped right in. First she asked if I got that on tape. I had. Then explained that she wanted to keep it professional and asked if he had an issue with that.

The guy freaked and tried to make a joke of it, almost begging us not to show it. Vanessa didn't reply. She just said we'd get on with the interview.

The guy was obviously hoping for the best. We started the interview. It was tame but he looked a little nervous. Then Vanessa asked him a more controversial question. It had been in the news for months. It was about a financial relationship with a firm doing a big public works project. We knew the answer, he'd given the rehearsed answer to many reporters over the last few months.

He was looking at me and the camera when she asked. I admit I was showing a lot of leg. You could see the worried look on his face. I think he only ½ realized she'd asked the question when he answered. To our surprise he did not give the standard answer. He told the truth, and mentioned the start of the paper trail.

All of a sudden his face went white. He realized what he'd done. He was so worried about the initial inappropriate comment, he had not paid attention to the next question.

He started back pedaling, but Vanessa had him. He looked trapped. His movements were those of an animal trying to escape. He asked if we could start again, he was trying to ingratiate himself to us. He asked us to stop the cameras. We didn't. He declared the meeting over. Two men came to get the camera. I explained that all the footage was also shot with my iPad and was already in the cloud.

They let us go.

Vanessa and I drove straight to the editing lab. When we were done we had no idea what to do next. We knew we had more than a class project. We called her professor and he agreed to meet us. He watched the interview and called one of the local TV news stations. We were on our way there. When we got there a room full of people watched the video.

There was a discussion on who would do the piece. They talked about cutting Vanessa out and letting one of the usual anchors do the interview. They decided to use Vanessa. The story was a success and had the desired effect. It was a local story so it did not make news anywhere else.

We were excited though. The entire news team took us out to celebrate. Vanessa and I sat next to each other. In the excitement she was hugging me or holding my hand, or touching me in some way the whole night. When it was time to say goodnight, she gave me a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and we said goodnight.

In the end we were excited. It was more than we'd hoped for. We both got As for the project. On top of that Vanessa's professor submitted the project for a local award. We won. There was a small ceremony.

During that time I probably talked about Vanessa a lot. No one I knew even used her name. They just said, "Your girl crush."

I didn't see her much after that class. I know she graduated and got a job at a local news station. Whenever she was on, someone would invariably say, "Hey look, it's your girl crush."

I stopped objecting. I'd get in on the joke. I'd say things like, "Look at her, she gorgeous, of course I'd do her," or "Admit it, you'd do her if you had the chance." We all laughed.

There was a difference though. I was no longer 18. I was still straight. I loved dating guys, but there was a part of me that knew, given the chance, I'd might have sex with her. On more than one occasion I'd dream about her. Nothing graphic, but I remembered her naked body and could feel it holding me. Sometimes, while watching her on the news, I'd picture her getting undressed and sometimes, I'd think about the comment she made about wearing panties because I was there. I admit I would often masturbate to just that thought.

Imstillfun
Imstillfun
10,196 Followers