Girl will be Boy

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is purely fiction, though the author would like for it to become a reality someday soon, except for losing my wife. And all the characters are over 18 years of age.

*

I met Steffan through a mutual friend, Victor. We all three work in the same factory, yet different departments. Vic and I hung out after work occasionally, and he hung out with Steffan frequently. However, until the night I officially met Steffan, we had never hung out as a group. There were usually other co-workers in our group, but for this story, we will not focus on any of them.

I had seen Steffan around the plant, and though not knowing him, he smiled widely and waved whenever we met. Once or twice we said, "Hi," to each other. He didn't know it, but I found myself very attracted to him. He is about my height and in very good shape. What attracted me the most at first was his big brown eyes, dimpled smile, and thick, nearly black hair. I thought he was just too pretty to be a man.

The night I finally met Steffan was a surprise to me. Vic neglected to tell me Steffan would be joining us for drinks after work. None of the other men in the group were there, either by chance or by design, as they sometimes didn't follow us in. When I came into the lounge and found Vic already seated with Steffan, I felt my face flush and my heart flipped. I didn't know just how I would handle meeting my fantasy for real.

I decided to hit my fear head-on. I walked to the table and greeted the guys. "Hey, Vic," I said. "I am sorry, I don't know your name," I directed toward Steffan.

Vic made the introduction. "Alvin Taustich, this is Steffan O'Brian. Steffan this is Alvin Taustich... Al."

I offered my hand and said as we shook, "It's good to finally meet you, Steffan."

"The pleasure is all mine, Al," Steffan smiled that smile that drove me up the wall. I felt my face go red and hot. Steffan must have noticed as his eyes twinkled in the dimly lit room. We held our handshake for a long moment. Finally, pulling his hand away, Steffan said, "Will you sit and have a drink with us?"

"Yes. Absolutely," I answered as I took the seat between Vic and Steffan.

"What's your poison?" Steffan asked as he waved over a waitress.

"Green apple ale," Vic interrupted. "He always drinks green apple ale."

"Great choice," Steffan beamed. "I've got this round." The waitress, being familiar with us, brought my ale and fresh drinks for Steffan and Vic. "This one goes on my tab," he told the waitress.

Over the next couple of hours, we talked about many subjects; work, sports, movies, etc. At one point, as most men do, the subject turned to sex. We made comments on one of the waitresses, who was a very sexy woman. We all agreed on that. As I got to know Steffan more, I became more comfortable with him. It was becoming as if we had been a tight group all along.

Then Steffan dropped a bomb that set me back on my heels and fueled the flame of my attraction to him. "I am bi." He said it so matter of fact-ly that I knew he was comfortable with his sexuality. I looked to Vic for confirmation, and he simply nodded, telling me he had known it for some time. "Vic and I have been friends since elementary school, he knows." He read my face too well.

"Well fellas, I guess I am in good company, then," I added. "I am bi, too."

"Duh," Vic said in a smart-assed tone. We all laughed a little, then Vic excused himself. "I need to use the restroom. I'll be back shortly."

As soon as Vic left us, Steffan said, "Please put your hand on the table."

"Why?" I asked.

"Humor me."

I did as he asked, placing my right-hand palm down in front of me. Steffan scooted in a little closer to me, turned my hand over and placed his on mine, palm to palm. I didn't know what he had in mind, but I looked into his eyes and as a natural reflex, I suppose, I curled my fingers around his hand and squeezed it gently. He smiled as widely as I had ever seen. "I like you, Steffan," I said without thinking of any consequences.

Steffan leaned toward me until our noses were touching. He smiled and his eyes twinkled and said, "I like you, too." I felt dizzy as I stared at this gorgeous young man in my face.

"Well... Are you going to kiss him?" asked Vic as he returned to his chair to my left.

"Not yet," Steffan answered.

"So?" Vic inquired.

"He passed the test," Steffan replied with another dimple faced grin. At that moment, if Steffan showed any hint of wanting a kiss, I was in no position to deny him. I did not release my grip on his hand I was holding. Instead, I put my left hand on top of ours.

Vic was saying something, but I had no idea what it was. I was lost in the moment. Steffan did finally pull his hand from my grip and placed it on my shoulder as he sat back on his chair. "It's my turn," Steffan sighed. "I need to use the restroom."

As soon as he was gone, I turned to Vic and feigned and angry face. "Vic, you son-of-a-bitch. You set me up!"

Vic burst out laughing. He laughed so hard I thought he was going to tip his chair backward. I couldn't help but join in his laughter. Once we calmed a bit, Vic snorted, "Maybe I wasn't setting you up. Maybe I was setting up Steffan."

"Bullshit. It wasn't just coincidence that we were here on the same night," I retorted.

"No. I must confess," He said holding his hand up."I knew that Steffan likes you and I had a suspicion you liked him, too. I have watched the way your eyes followed every step he takes when he's near."

"I couldn't help myself," I confessed. "Every time I see him, he smiles that smile. You know the one I am talking about."

"Yes, I have seen it."

"And... Though I was never open about being bi, I couldn't get past the thought that this guy is just too fucking cute."

"Too cute?"

"That's the only way I can explain the way I see him. I can't see him as the alpha-type male. He's not rugged. Just manly enough to carry the tag "MAN" well. Very well, in my opinion. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it. There is something just a little left of center with him. Do you understand? "

Vic nodded with a knowing smile.

"That is what has my blood boiling. That is the best way I can explain my attraction to him. " As I finished that statement, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, as I was not expecting Steffan back so soon.

"I am not interrupting anything? Am I?" Steffan asked as he took his seat next to my right.

"We were talking about you," Vic chuckled.

"I figured that," Steffan said.

The rest of the evening went much the way I thought a group of friends should carry on. We talked and laughed. Steffan moved in close to me and let his left leg rest against my right. I was happy to feel the closeness with him.

When the lounge closed at two A.M. we parted company. Steffan and I bade our goodnights to Vic, then I walked him to his truck. We stood and talked for the next few minutes about our next evening together. We traded phone numbers. I held his hand as we said "Goodbye." He gave me a warm hug before he turned and climbed into his pickup.

Steffan watched me as I climbed into my truck and started it. We smiled at each other, waved then left.

The next day was a Saturday, so we didn't work. I could not get my mind off Steffan the whole day. I contemplated calling him several times but didn't want to come off pushy.

Shortly before six P.M., Steffan called me. My heart raced as I answered. "I've been going crazy all day wondering if I should call you," he said before I could even say 'Hello'.

"I am glad you did," I replied. "I haven't been able to get my mind off you all day either."

"What are we going to do about this"

"Can I take you out for dinner?" I asked.

"Meet me at Steak and Stuff?"

"Sounds like a plan." We talked for a few minutes more before we hung up and I got ready to meet him at the restaurant.

So went the next three weeks. We spent as much time as possible together at work and went out for drinks and laughs after work Fridays. Saturdays, we went to dinner wherever the mood struck us. We talked about our lives and past relationships. Steffan, to my dismay, didn't have much luck in the love department. I did not understand why he would have difficulties. At times, I felt he was holding something back. I didn't want to pressure him. He would tell me when the time was right.

One other thing that weighed heavy on my mind, was that although I had the desire, I never felt like I could kiss him at the end of our dates. I felt him holding back on that part as well.

The Friday we were "Celebrating" our fourth week together, we went to our favorite lounge for drinks after work. All our co-workers were abuzz with the relationship we shared. It was a draw to the lounge. We thought they were taking bets on how long we would last or when, or if, we would start publically showing physical affection.

This night, I offered to drive to the lounge. Steffan left his truck at the plant. I would take him back to it when we went home.

The more we went out, it seemed, the less alcohol we both consumed while at the lounge. I had become a Dr. Pepper supporter, and Steffan went to Mountain Dew as his drink of choice. We both agreed it was the more responsible way to "Have Drinks". And since we both had a few miles to drive after, it was best to stay sober.

We decided to leave the lounge a little before one A.M. When we got back to the plant I pulled into the spot to the left of Steffan's truck. I barely had mine in PARK when Steffan released his seatbelt, pulled the center console into the upright position and slid next to me. He was nearly in my lap to be more accurate.

He pulled himself directly in front of me and leaned close enough that our noses were touching, much like our first night out. I didn't waste the opportunity and kissed him lightly. We lingered for a few seconds, enjoying the next level of our relationship. We broke the kiss just long enough for Steffan to say with a heavy breath, "That was nice."

Our lips locked again, but with much more passion than the first. We stay like that much longer as well. Steffan's mouth tasted so sweet, probably the Mountain Dew. My tongue played along his bottom lip until he sucked it into his warm and wet mouth.

I put my right hand on his flat stomach while my left hand found its way to his head and ran my fingers through his soft hair. He didn't seem to mind my roaming hands. I smoothed my right over his torso and messed his hair with my left.

I could feel the passion building. Steffan began to moan quietly into my mouth as his hips rocked toward my lap. I took this a sign he was ready for another step closer. I let my right hand trail down to near the waist of his jeans.

Suddenly Steffan pulled away. Tears streamed from his eyes as he tried to speak. "I have... I'm um... Hmm... Mmm. I can't. It's not right. I have to go."

I didn't get in a word as he quickly slipped off my lap and out the passenger door. He stopped briefly to look at me through the glass. He put his hand on the glass momentarily then turned and got in his truck.

I was stunned. I didn't know if I had done something wrong. I sat still for a few seconds to gather my confused thoughts. I watched as Steffan beat his hands on the steering wheel. I decided I needed to know what, if anything I have done wrong. Before I could unbuckle my seatbelt and open my door, he started his truck and quickly left.

I got back into my truck and went home. My mind was scrambled. I couldn't pinpoint what I may have done to upset him.

I had no more than gotten home and inside my door when I received a text message from Steffan.

FROM STEFFAN:I am so sorry. I need some time. Please don't call or text me. I will call you. Again, I am very sorry. It's nothing you did wrong.

As difficult as it was, I refrained from contacting Steffan. The weekend was never-ending. This was one time and probably the only time in my career that I looked forward to going to work Monday afternoon.

From the time I got to work, I took every opportunity to look for him. At one point on Monday, Vic came to me and asked what was going on. I told him I had no idea, and that since he was Steffan's friend he might have a better clue.

Every day Vic did ask me if Steffan had talked to me, and I had to tell him I hadn't. Finally, on Thursday, Vic came and said, "I got a chance to talk to Steffan."

"What did I do wrong?" I asked.

"Not a thing," Vic answered with a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I should have known this from the start since I have known him from elementary school."

"Well?" I nearly demanded.

"He told me not to say anything. He made me promise."

"Goddamnit Vic!"

"I know, Al. I wish I could tell you. But I don't want to risk the best friendship I have ever had."

"Can you at least tell me something?" Vic shrugged. "Is this something that that will affect the way I feel about Steffan?"

"I just don't know, Al. It has been a trying journey for him and he is still struggling with it. As it is said, 'It's going to take a lot of love to get through this.'"

"Whatever it is, I want to be there with him and for him," I assured Vic.

"I know you say that. But... Don't commit till you know the full story. Just be patient, my friend. You will know soon enough."

I did receive a text from Steffan the next day.

FROM STEFFAN: Meet me at my place at about 11:00. I will tell you all.

The next day at work dragged on endlessly. I was at my wit's end trying to figure out what it was Steffan had to tell me. The hour between the end of my shift and the time I was to be at his apartment was the most excruciating sixty minutes of my life. I ran through every scenario I could imagine and practiced how I would react. All seemed to be worse than the one before.

Then, it was time, and I knocked on Steffan's door. I was shaking nervously when he opened the door. He smiled when our eyes met, but the look was somewhat troubled. "Hi, Al," he said as he took my hand and pulled me across the threshold. He pulled me in for a much needed and very welcoming hug. "I am sorry for the trouble I've caused this week," he apologized as he broke the hug.

"Please tell me what's going on, Steffan. I thought you knew you could tell me anything."

"Come, sit with me." He lead me to a large couch in the middle of the sparsely furnished apartment. "I am going to get me some water, would you like a drink?"

"Yes, water would be great," I said as I sat uneasily on the edge of the couch.

Steffan joined me in a minute with two large glasses of iced water. He handed one to me and sat very close to me. I took a long drink from the glass. My mouth was very dry. The entire time I was drinking, I could not take my eyes off the young man sitting beside me. He took a few small sips from his glass and sat the rest on a coffee table in front of the couch.

He cleared his throat a couple of times, then began to speak, dryly. "I imagine you are wondering what my problem has been this week."

"Yes, Steffan. I thought it was something I..."

Steffan stopped me by putting a finger on my lips. "No, no, no, Honey." He had never any pet affectionate name toward me before. "There is nothing you could have done wrong. I have been the one with the problem."

"Why haven't you wanted to talk to me about it?"

"I didn't know how you would take it." He shifted a little one the cushion. "Vic told me yesterday I need to trust you and tell you what I am going through. I think It is time to put my trust in my lifelong friend and my new love."

"Love?" I started. "Damn.. you're ri..."

"Not yet, please." Steffan interrupted me. "Please, let me get this out first."

"Okay," I conceded. "But, please don't think I am going to think less of you for any reason at all."

"Okay," He cleared his throat again. "Um... I am not who you think I am, Al." I started to open my mouth to speak, but he put a finger up to indicate I needed to let him finish. "Hmm... I was... I ... Shit, this is hard."

Steffan took his glass of water from the table and downed half of it in just a few large gulps. I followed with a few gulps from my glass. They were smaller but refreshing.

He cleared his throat again and wiped a small drop of water from his chin. "I guess I'll have to blurt it out, or I won't get it out at all." He turned to me took both my hands in his and looked me square in the eyes. I couldn't think of a time in the last four weeks he looked so serious and possibly vulnerable.

"Al... I was born... A girl. There I said it."

I caught my breath and sat back for a second as I processed the latest bomb. I had my suspicions about his gender. I had recently put it off as a sort of wishful thinking or fantasy. I knew he was too cute to be a full man in my mind. As I absorbed the information and the, forgive my perverted mind, possibilities this brought, a smile involuntarily came across my face.

"Al... I am serious," Steffan said with an expression nearing hurt.

"I don't doubt you, Steff. Is that what has been bothering you?" I questioned with a soft chuckle.

"Alvin Taustich... I wanted..." Before he could finish, I grabbed him and wrapped him in a tight hug. He started to shake in my arms. I didn't know if he was crying, so I pulled away. As I feared, he was sobbing.

"Please don't cry, Steff," I said as I wiped his tears away with a gentle knuckle.

"You don't understand," he sniffled. "You have no idea the torment I went through this week. The fear of you pushing me away. These tears are tears of relief. I was so afraid that you wouldn't understand."

"Well... Maybe I don't fully understand," I agreed. "But I am open to learning from you. You are so special to me and even more so now." I pulled him back to hold him some more. He turned his face into my neck and began kissing me under my ear and around my jaw to my mouth.

He broke the kiss, short of our lips locking. "So.." he started. "Do you love me?"

"Do you want me to answer you now?"

"Yes. But, I already know the answer."

"Yes, Steffan. I love you. I have loved you in some way or another since before we met. And I love you more every day."

"I love you too, Al. I have all along as well." I tried to move in for a kiss, but Steffan pulled away with a chuckle. "Are you not curious about my status as a transgendered man?"

"Yes, very much so. But I ..."

"But you are afraid to ask?"

"No... I figured I would get there in time."

"Don't you want me?"

"More than you could ever know."

"Oh... I think I know," he smirked. "I have desires, too. " He trailed off as he stood and moved to the other side of the coffee table. "Now... I want you to know, this strictly for educational purposes. This is in no way a promise of sex. We have a ways to go before we can get to that point. "

With that, he motioned me to come to stand in the middle of the room with him. I took my glass off the table and downed the last of the water along with a few ice cubes. He stopped me short of wrapping my arms around him by putting his hand on my chest.

"Now, Al..." He started unbuttoning the black and white flannel shirt he was wearing. When the last button was released he pulled it off his shoulders and tossed it to the floor across the room. The undershirt was next. He pulled it up slowly to expose a flat stomach covered in a thin veil of black fur.

I watched with bated breath as he pulled his shirt over his now masculine chest. The only evidence of him ever having had breasts were the fading scars from the mastectomy. I reached out to tweak a nipple, Steffan playfully slapped my hand away. "No, no, no. Keep your hands to yourself."

I pouted like a child, which yielded a huge smile and a husky chuckle from my bare-chested teaser.