Giving Up Control Ch. 01

I looked around me in satisfaction; all the moving boxes were emptied and everything packed away neatly. I even managed to hang some pictures already. I slowly turned 360 degrees and looked around. I heaved a big sigh. Small, but it's my new home.

Me and my boyfriend had broken up, which forced me to find somewhere smaller to live. The rent for the house we lived in together was paid for with both our salaries and I couldn't continue to live there on my modest teacher salary. I did get lucky with my new place. It was part of the second floor of a big old house. I had my own bedroom, living room with open plan kitchen and a surprisingly roomy bathroom with a bath and separate shower. The apartment also had its own entrance with wooden stairs coming up the outside of the house, entering into the kitchen and it had a small balcony. Not very big, but enough for a comfortable chair and a small table. Perfect for doing my marking outside when the weather was nice. The house belonged to an old colleague of my father and this apartment used to be lived in by his daughter before she moved out. Her two older brothers had moved out several years before and Nick and his wife Jo had offered it to me for a very reasonable rent.

I heard a knock on the door coming from the inside of the house into my living room, and I called out that it was unlocked. The door was opened and in walked Nick.

"Hey Saskia, did you manage everything or do you need help with anything?"

I shook my head. "I managed everything, thanks."

"Great. I know you've been busy and you are probably not in the mood for cooking anymore, so why don't you join me and Jo for dinner?"

I nodded my head enthusiastically. "That would be great, thanks. I was thinking about ordering a pizza, but on a Friday night it will take ages. Let me just take a quick shower and I will be down."

Half an hour later I was sitting in the downstairs dining room. Nick was sitting at the head of the table on my left and Jo was sitting across from me. Jo was a really good cook, and I ate the pasta with great enjoyment. Conversation flowed easily, talking about my job (Special Needs teacher), Nick's staff (he was an architect with his own company and 5 people working for him) and the weird situations Jo encountered at the tourist office where she worked part-time.

While we were talking and laughing I looked at Nick inconspicuously from under my eyelashes. With his 53 years old he was 19 years older than myself, with an awesome body for somebody his age. He did some boxing training and he ran several times a week and it showed. Standing at 6'3" he was a full foot taller than me and he had shortish brown curly hair that was showing quite a bit of grey around the temples, something I've always found sexy. Nick had the most gorgeous bright blue eyes that I could imagine seeing right through my clothes! I thought him completely fuckable and fancied him big time. It was too bad he was married. I stay away from men who are already in a relationship because it can only end in trouble and heartache. On top of that Nick and Jo had been married for almost 25 years with three adult children so their marriage must be pretty solid. I sternly told my inner self to stop drooling and go away, this man was not for me!

Jo was absolutely tiny, especially compared to Nick. At only 4'9" she was even much shorter than me, and I consider myself quite short at 5'3". Our body shapes were completely different as well. She was built quite athletic with nice proportions and boobs that looked no bigger than a B-cup. I was much more voluptuously built with bigger curves and soft DD breasts. Jo had lovely black, curly hair that she kept fairly short whereas I had straight brown hair that came to my shoulders.

She was one year older than Nick, 54, and she was still incredibly sexy. If I was a lesbian, I could quite easily have been attracted to her.

I liked Nick and Jo and didn't want to do anything to strain our easy relationship. I therefore resolved to keep my mind out of the gutter when looking at Nick. Easier said than done...

After dinner I helped Jo clean up the table while Nick went into the living room and started playing piano. When I was done in the kitchen I walked towards the music and leant in the doorway looking at Nick. He was playing some old blues-sounding music. His big hands with long supple fingers were playing easily and he had a dreamy expression on his face, eyes half-closed. He played really well, and I quickly found myself imagining those long-fingered hands playing around on my body. I felt myself getting wet and was startled when Jo came up behind me. Blushing a bit, I declined the offer of coffee, claiming tiredness after a long day of moving.

Thanking Jo and Nick for dinner and wishing them goodnight, I climbed up the stairs back to my little apartment. I was still thinking about Nick's hands and was really quite jealous of Jo at that moment. I wanted to be the one to share his bed that night!

I had worked myself up a fair bit and as soon as I got up the stairs I went to the chest of drawers containing my underwear and scarfs and from the bottom drawer I pulled out my box of toys.

I had quite an extensive collection of toys. I never felt sexually completely satisfied by my ex and I collected a number of toys over the years to play with when I was by myself. We both knew there was something missing in the relationship, but things didn't come to a head until he was offered a job in a different part of the country. I realised I just didn't love him enough to give up my job and pack up my whole life to follow him. He didn't love me enough to turn down the job.

Our break-up was really quite amicable and no harsh words were thrown around. Neither one of us cried and although I found I didn't miss my ex all that much, I most definitely missed having regular sex!

I pulled my favourite double penetration vibrating dildo out of the box, and reached for the lube while undoing my trousers with my other hand at the same time. I didn't need any lube for the vaginal shaft as I was more than wet already, but wanted some on the anal probe. I dropped my trousers and panties as I walked to the queen sized bed and kicked them off my legs. Standing next to the bed I lubed up the anal probe and then inserted both the shaft and the probe, bending my knees slightly. Both went in without any trouble and straightening my legs I quickly took my shirt and my bra off. I piled some pillows together on the bed and covered the hump with a rough towel I fetched from the cupboard. Walking to the cupboard and back was lovely, feeling the dildo moving around in both my holes. After I had the towel tucked in tightly around the pillows I straddled the hump and just before lowering my mound I turned on the vibration on the dildo.

I lowered myself down and started to gently grind down on the rough towel. My hands went to my breasts and started squeezing and pulling. My breasts are very soft and heavy and can be manipulated in all different kinds of ways. I started rolling and pinching my nipples with my fingers, imagining it was done by Nick. I lifted my left breast to my mouth and started sucking and gently biting the nipple. How I wished it was Nick's mouth! I did the same thing with my right breast, scraping my teeth over the nipple and I could feel my juices starting to flow even more.

I tilted my hips forward and down and started to really grind my clit down on the pillow. I was so hot and needed a quick relief. My hands left my breasts so I could put my hands down on the mattress and I started humping the pile of pillows for all I was worth, grinding my clit over the rough towel. I was moaning, trying to keep the noise down, imagining Nick slamming into me from behind. I was rotating my hips so I could feel the dildo moving around in both my holes. My breasts were hanging down heavily and were swinging around with my movements. I imagined Nick fucking my pussy from behind with his dick while pumping his fingers in my ass and I came explosively.

I was biting the duvet, trying to stop myself from screaming out loud. I reached under me and turned off the vibrator, not having the strength to pull it out of me.

All my muscles trembling I rolled off the pillows and slowly relaxed. I pushed the pillows away, keeping one for under my head, flipped the duvet over me and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, still with the dildo inside of me. I was still horny and lying on my back I started to play with my breasts. While squeezing and pinching and rubbing and rolling I kept my eyes closed and once again thought about Nick. What type of man would he be regarding sex? Would he like a bit of kink or was he a vanilla type guy? I hoped he was kinky and adventurous. How would he and Jo like to have sex? Jo was so tiny, he could completely flatten and cover her, dominate her.

At that thought I felt another flush of wetness starting in my pussy.

I like my man to be dominating in bed, tie me down and use me. In my day to day life I am a strong woman who constantly has to made decisions for myself and other people. As a special needs teacher for students aged 10 to 18, many with severe behavioural problems, I can't afford to show weakness. I have to be on top of my game at all times, and it is nice sometimes to be able to give over control to somebody else.

Unfortunately my ex was very vanilla, he considered doggy-style kinky.

Leaving one hand to play with my nipples, I moved the other one down to my pussy. Rubbing inside my lips I could feel a great deal of moisture, enough that it was beginning to flow down into my butt crack. I pulled the dildo out a small way. I found the vaginal shaft had more than enough lubricant, but the anal probe had dried up overnight. Using my other hand I rubbed some of my own juices on my hole and the bit of the probe coming out and slowly started working it in. After a few minutes there was enough lubrication to move the probe comfortably and I really started working the dildo.

Moving the dildo with my right hand and manipulating my clit with my left I quickly got myself more exited. I returned to my train of thoughts about Nick and Jo having sex. I never had sex with a woman. Although curious about it, and willing to try it, I never had a chance to act out on it. I imagined Jo lying on her back with her legs up in the air and Nick pumping into her hard, his hands controlling her arms and Jo unable to do anything but take him slamming into her.

This image caused me to come to a hard orgasm and I had to turn my head into the pillow to muffle my screams. How embarrassing would it be for Jo or Nick to hear me and come up to ask me if I was ok!

I spend the rest of the weekend doing my normal things; grocery shopping, cooking for the week ahead, marking and planning lessons.

In between I masturbated several times a day, in the evenings and mornings taking my time with toys and elaborate fantasies, during the day quickies rubbed out with my fingers while sitting at my desk or while waiting for the water to cook for a cup of tea. Every time my fantasies revolved around Nick and somehow Jo usually made an appearance as well. I kept to myself in my apartment and didn't see either one of them again, although I did hear Nick's piano playing both Saturday and Sunday evening. While he played the piano I played with myself, imagining him playing with me.

By Sunday night my clit was feeling raw and overly sensitive and I was almost glad that the holiday was over and I had to start work again on Monday. That meant I would have to concentrate on work and had less time to abuse my poor clit.