Gluttony: Feeding the Beast Within

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Sean's heart did break in that moment as he realized that for however long it was, his wife was leaving him. He wept into her palms until he was able to see through the haze of tears again. What he saw in his wife's eyes was enough to give him hope that all was not lost.

'I'll be back.' She said softly, knowing his distress. 'Go have your fill of him. And afterwards, we'll all find a way to be friends. Go have your fill my dearest heart.'

Desire and heartache and love flared in Sean at that moment and he charged from his spot on the kitchen stool. He pulled Christine into his arms, kissing her with fevered passion. Emotion overwhelmed them and despite the pain in her heart, Christine was able to respond to Sean. They made love, intense and deep right there on the kitchen counter. And after, he helped her go and pack her and their daughter's things for the trip home.

Only after they had said their goodbyes at the door and he had left for the set did he allow himself to wonder if this was the biggest mistake of his life, or the greatest gift he had ever known.

~ in the make up trailer ~

Sean stepped into the trailer that he a Elijah shared for their transformation into hobbits, and felt the coolness of the air. It was dark, dead, empty and he sighed heavily. He was startled by the soft voice from the dim corner.

'You're late.' Said Elijah. 'The prosthetics people came and went. They won't be back until they've done Billy and Dom now. P.J. will be very pissed off.'

Sean turned towards the shadowy figure of his friend, trying to pierce the gloom and make eye contact. Contact he couldn't make yesterday, but today was like an addiction.

'P.J. can be pissed if he wants. I had to have a conversation with my wife. It was important.' He said and flung his bag into the corner. Without another word, he began to undress and put on his make up robe. He waited for Lij to respond. He didn't wait long.

'What kind of conversation'' Came the almost whispered query.

Sean finished undressing and pulled the robe over his almost naked body before he responded.

'What are you doing tonight'' He asked, his voice shaking, not sure how to proceed.

Elijah was struck dumb for a moment, but recovered quickly.

'Nothing. Why'' Said the younger man, thrown off his guard.

'I'd like to take you out to dinner. If that's okay with you.' Sean said and then turned away. He still wasn't sure how his friend would take all that he was going to offer.

'Okay.' Came the flippant reply. But Sean knew better. He knew that Elijah was startled and scared and wanting and everything that the older man was too. He hoped everything would go right. That they would be able to share something and still come out as friends on the other side. He slowed his breathing and waited as he felt, rather than heard Elijah approach him and press his slim body against his own.

They stood there for only a moment or two, taking joy in the exchange of touch before the sound of approaching crew members alerted them to their intimate pose. Slowly Lij moved away and resumed his position in the corner, as the door was pulled open and the make up people rattled inside.

~ around 7 pm, after the day's shooting ~

P.J. called out to Sean as the young actor dashed towards his dressing room, in his haste to get ready for his 'date'.

'Don't forget Sean. Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you are Sam!' Roared the director to the laughter of all within earshot.

'But I'm Merry!' Came Dominic's cheeky response.

More laughter but Sean didn't even hear it. He was already planning ahead to the evening. What he would say and do. How he would take this opportunity to 'have his fill' as his cherished and adored wife had said. He only hoped that the love would remain in some form. He had to believe it would or tonight would never work for any of them.

He pulled open the door of his trailer and bounded up the steps, but was startled to a stop by the serene figure of Ian. The older man looked up and smiled slightly at him before gesturing for him to close the door. On automatic, he did so and waited for his older friend to speak, for Sean knew that Ian never went anywhere uninvited unless he had a reason. Sean knew the reason and hoped it was only because the man was sensitive to these kinds of things or that Elijah had confided. He had to believe it was one of those choices instead of the alternative, which was that he and Elijah were so obvious that everyone knew. Ian's first words allayed his fears on that front.

'Don't worry. I'm the only one who knows. Elijah came to me. For advice.' Said the Brit, his voice tender with understanding and concern.

Sean let out the breath he had been holding and leaned against the wall.

Ian gestured for him to sit down next to him on the sofa. Sean did so, feeling slightly nervous. It was almost how he had felt when his parents had explained sex to him, together. He tried to relax and remain open to whatever his older friend had to say. Ian cleared his throat.

'I'm not here to judge you, I couldn't even if I hadn't spent my whole life being judged, but I do want to ask you a few things before I give you my advice.' He began, speaking slowly. 'Will you take my advice, Sean." Sean looked at Ian and swallowed hard.

'Yes. I'll answer all your questions as honestly as I can and I will listen to what you have to say.' He said and took a deep breath, waiting for the gentle inquisition to begin.

Ian nodded and then stood, pacing in front of Sean as he sat on the sofa.

'Have you ever done anything like this before''

'No.'

'Have you ever thought of doing anything like this before''

'Never.'

'Why now''

Sean was momentarily without an answer, but he recovered quickly.

'I don't really know the answer to that. I had seen Lij in movies, but we had never met. I always thought he was a great actor with a huge future. But that first night, it was like another puzzle piece of my life fell into place. I didn't consciously realize that it was going to be more than just a brotherhood. But then I started to react to him, physically.'

The young man bowed his head, unable to stop the shame he was feeling. Ian laid a gentle hand on his head.

'I understand. Go on dear boy.'

'My cock would get hard when we would change in the morning. I would wake up in the night from a dream I could barely remember but that I knew was about Elijah and there would be cum on my pajamas. One night, we were all out drinking and laughing and being very familiar like we are, and I can remember him kissing me on the mouth as they dropped me off at home. It was just a kiss. Just a soft, warm kiss.' The young man shook his head from side to side, tears from his eyes flying in all directions. 'I went inside and instead of climbing immediately into bed next to the woman I adore, I went into the bathroom and jerked off. It took a long time too, cause I kept making it last. And all the time I'm beating off, I'm thinking about how that kiss felt and how much more I wanted from that moment.'

Sean's voice broke and he bent his face to his knees. He wept into his hands for a moment before raising his tear stained face to his friend.

'What's wrong with me' I'm not gay Ian. I know I'm not! So why' Why now? Why him?" He almost wailed.

Ian hugged the younger man and made comforting noises for a moment. Finally, he took Sean's face in his hands to make him look at him.

'No matter what anyone says, there is nothing wrong with you. It's perfectly normal to be curious. But for some people the curiosity is stronger and they will experiment with anyone and everyone. For others, it's like there is only one person they can trust, one person who can open that door. It can be a good experience or a bad one. Most people go their whole lives never feeling curious and most of them never would. Some just never meet that one person they know they can trust.'

'But what about Christine' I truly believe she's my soulmate.' Sean said, his breath hitching as he tried to stop the tears.

'I believe she is too. But you can have more than one. And sometimes that other one is the same sex and sometimes it's not just a friendly soulmate. Sometimes we need to act on our impulse to discover and sometimes we don't. Obviously the need to know is strong for you. So that brings me to my next questions.'

Sean looked into the pale blue eyes, afraid of what his older friend was going to ask.

'Do you love him' Will you be careful of him' Will you only give him this one night''

Sean bowed his head again, closing his eyes and thinking hard. After a moment he raised his head and with a steely look in his eye he answered.

'I would love him no matter what the nature of our friendship. I will always be infinitely careful of him. And I will give him what I can for the next three weeks. But when my wife and child come back. The sex is over.'

Ian regarded the young man before he spoke.

'And then what' What remains''

Sean answered instantly with a smile on his face and joy in his eyes.

'Love. Friendship. Brotherhood. Family. He and I and the rest of us will always be a part of each other. It's a chance to experiment. But I can't be his lover except for these three weeks. She said to take my fill of him. I plan on giving the same to him of myself. It will have to be enough.'

Ian smiled then and hugged the younger man. Sean gladly returned the caring embrace.

'You'll do just fine Sean. Both Elijah and Christine are very lucky to have your love. As are the rest of us.' The older man stood and walked towards the door. He paused and turned for effect. 'Remember. Be careful, be safe and hold love in your heart.'

With those words, he made his grand exit. As the door slammed behind him Sean chuckled to himself and then began to get ready for his date.

~ later that night at Elijah's apartment ~

Dinner had been wonderful, at least until the end. They had laughed and talked about everything. They had even been able to hold hands under the table. Neither had eaten much but they had drunk a lot. The two had just been enjoying the last of their wine and preparing to pay the bill when Peter and Fran had approached the table. Sean could see that the Kiwi wasn't very happy.

'I've been watching you Mister Astin.' Began the director, leaning heavily on the table and ignoring the protests of his wife. 'And you haven't eaten enough to feed a growing twelve year old boy, let alone keep yourself in hobbit hardiness. Are you trying to sabotage my picture''

Sean felt the anger and hurt rise up in him and was about to say something when Lij squeezed his shoulder and whispered in his ear.

'Don't! It's okay. You take the bill and pay it and I'll meet you outside. I'll deal with Peter, okay'' Came the voice that had the power to make Sean quiver with excitement.

With a sigh he looked at his friend and smiled wanly, before grabbing the bill and storming over to the cash register. P.J. was about to follow him but Elijah stopped him with words that Sean couldn't hear and didn't want to. He ignored the conversation of rising and lowering voices behind him, smiled at the waitress and tipped her very well. Then without a backward look he had left the restaurant and waited by the car for his friend.

A few moments later Elijah had come trotting around the corner, smiling a secret smile. Sean looked at him expectantly but he just shook his head and gestured for Sean to get in and drive. The older actor did as he was told and now they were standing at Elijah's front door feeling slightly nervous and extremely excited.

Before Sean knew what had hit him, the key was in the lock, the door opened and he was dragged inside. The door was shut quickly and locked and he was pushed against the smooth wood. A breath later and he was being kissed, and not very chastely, by the delicious smelling, tasty and warm Elijah.

Sweet breath slightly redolent of red wine pushed into his mouth and he inhaled, relishing his friend's essence. A strong tongue invaded between his teeth and stroked along the roof of his mouth, his cheeks and flickered across his own oral digit. Sugary saliva mingled with his own and the faint taste of cloves was in the back of his throat. It was a kiss that he would remember forever and then it was over.

He looked into his friend's eyes, golden-green into bluer-than-sapphire and he felt as at home as if he was with Christine. They smiled at each other and then with another gentle kiss on Sean's cheek, Elijah led his friend into the living room, snapping on a light and pushing him into the comfy chair by the fireplace. The lithe, young man straddled his friend's hips and sat down on his thighs, laughing. Sean laughed too as he pulled Elijah closer and then they were cuddling in the overstuffed chair. They quieted in a few moments, just enjoying the silence and each other's closeness. Finally, Lij broke the quietude.

'Don't you want to know what I said to P.J.'' Came the almost sultry tones.

Sean grimaced, but nodded.

'I told him I would make sure you had dessert.' Said the younger man and then he laughed deep in his chest as he gazed evenly at Sean.

Sean's eyes went wide and then understanding dawned. He began to giggle in a way he hadn't since he was twelve years old. Elijah nuzzled his neck and Sean felt goosebumps rise on his skin at the feel of that warm breath. Then with alarming speed, the raven-haired young man was out of Sean's arms and skipping towards the kitchen. He began to rise and follow but Elijah stopped him.

'No. Go into the bedroom. If we start there we won't have to go far for anything. I'll be right there.' He said and smiled as he disappeared behind the kitchen door.

Sean felt his stomach do flip-flops but he did as he was told. He staggered slightly as he wandered towards the bedroom, not sure if he was unsteady because of too much wine or his own nervousness at the adventure he was about to embark on. He made his way into the surprisingly neat room, sat on the bed and kicked off his shoes. He waited, listening for the footsteps of destiny.

And they came moments later. The door was flung open and Lij entered carrying a tray covered in a dish cloth. Sean could see there were things under the cloth and he looked askance at his friend. Lij just smiled enigmatically and placed the tray on the bed. Sean had to turn to see what he was doing.

'Ready for dessert'' Said the boyish young man, a saucy gleam in his eye.

Sean nodded and watched as his friend pulled the cloth away. On the tray was a bowl of ice cream, some chocolate syrup and a can of whip cream. Sean blushed as he thought of what they could do with those things. Elijah chuckled at him and then got to his feet, walking around the end of the bed to face his friend where he sat.

They looked at each other a moment, not daring to speak and letting the reality of what they were going to do sink in. Then Lij reached down and took Sean's hands, placing them at his belt.

'I want you to undress me. I've wanted it for so long. And I know you want it to. Then I'll do you. I want that too.' He said, so softly that Sean almost didn't hear.

Trembling slightly, Sean began to unbuckle Elijah's belt, then his jeans, and then he stopped, regarding the exposed triangle of black cotton brief's. Sean leaned forward and pulled at the waistband of the shorts until a pale, gleaming strip of flesh was showing. He leaned closer, felt his friend push his hips forward slightly, letting his warm breath bath the luminescent skin. With infinite care and savouring the moment, Sean slid his hands up under Elijah's shirt. He glanced up and saw that his young friend's eyes were closed. Sean smiled and crawled his fingers up the over the ribcage towards the nipples.

Slowly, teasingly and with the lightest of touches, he ran his fingers over the younger man's areolas, pleased and aroused by they way the flesh became turgid and tight. But he didn't linger on the sweet buds. Instead, he moved his hands higher, until they were just a Elijah's throat and inside the collar of his shirt. Then Sean did something he had wanted to do with his wife, but didn't think she would appreciate. He turned his arms so that his palms were facing outwards, clasped the throat of the shirt and pulled with all his strength. The buttons popped and the were ripped from the holes as the garment was ripped from the slender torso of his beautiful friend.

Elijah moaned and bucked his hips forward, letting his arms fall to his sides and the ruined shirt fell to the floor in tatters. Sean pressed his face to the firm, flat belly before him and delivered a wet kiss. A loud moan escaped Elijah's lips and his hands flailed for a moment as he sought to clasp the older man's head and press more kisses onto his yearning flesh. Sean's tongue danced over the smooth skin while his young friend's hands tangled in his hair.

A moment later Elijah pulled away, his eyes gleaming in the bedroom light. He knelt before Sean and then leaned in to give him a teasing kiss. And then he was off again, leaving Sean's arms empty and a frustrated throbbing in his groin. This time Elijah made for the bathroom, returning moments later with a couple of towels. Playfully, he encouraged Sean off the bed, handed him the dessert tray with it's now melting bowl of ice cream and then he laid the towels on the bed to cover the blanket. Then the almost feral young man turned to his friend and taking the tray from his hands and setting it down again, he attacked Sean.

Sean responded in kind and the two young men began tearing at the rest of their clothing, pulling and frantically trying to get to each other's naked bodies. But when Elijah reached Sean's jeans, the older man stopped him, struck by a sudden bout of self-loathing over his body. But Elijah was prepared for this as he took Sean's hands in his own and faced him.

'Don't be so afraid. You think your body is ugly, but it's not. I don't think so anyway. You just aren't used to it. It's not the body you remember. But I love this body, because it holds your soul. It holds the soul of someone I hold dear and love very deeply. You are beautiful to me Sean. You don't have to hide.' He finished quietly and then commandingly unbuttoned the jeans and pulled them to the floor, taking Sean's cotton boxers along.

Sean blushed and laughed nervously as his thick and turgid member was revealed. Lij looked up at him as he helped him remove the jeans and shorts puddled around his feet, a gleam in his eye. Darting his head forward, the blue-eyed young man planted a quick kiss on the slightly rosy tip of Sean's cock. It twitched in response.

And then Lij pulled his own boxer's off and both men stood before each other, naked, vulnerable and excited. They smiled at each other, then Elijah took his friend by the hand and led him to the bed. He helped him lay down and then he straddled Sean's face, his long, slender cock pointing towards the wall. Feeling bold, Sean snaked out his tongue and swished it over the tip. Elijah gasped and pulled away slightly.

'Fuck Sean, hold on a minute will you'' He said and laughed, reaching for the bowl of ice cream.

Sean subsided and watched what his friend was doing. Elijah took the spoon, filled it and then put it to Sean's lips. Obediently, the older man opened his mouth and took the coolness in.

'Don't swallow, just hold it there a moment. If you feel you're going to choke, pinch me.' Said Elijah seriously.

The younger man then reached for the whip cream and the syrup. Sean held the cold ice cream in his mouth and watched, fascinated as his friend dispensed whip cream over the length of his cock from base to tip and then drizzled chocolate syrup over the creamy whiteness. Then, with a wicked look in his eye he pushed the mess covered member towards his friend's mouth.