God is a Slut Ch. 06

But...no, I must just be jaded from the corruption in my soul, it can't be true. It must be an act. It has to be!

"Jesus, take the wheel." I gasped as I spun around and faced him.

"I bet you've been waiting to say that." Jesus smirked.

"I have," I moaned, "but I also (ahhhh!) want to talk to you face-to-face."

"What is it? Lucy?"

"No," I whispered, piercing myself with the steady oscillations of my hips, "God."

"What about her?" he asked.

"Is she..." I trailed off as I felt the quaking beginning in my pelvis, "is she...oh fuck... is God... fuck me harder... is God... deeper... is God... is-God-a-slut?" I managed to scream the question in rapid-fire words, the only way I was going to get that thought out through the rising pleasure.

"I am." Said the angelic voice in the passenger seat. I whipped my head around in a flail of brown hair and stared at the beautiful blonde deity beside me.

"I've always been a slut, Rachel," God said, her voice apologetic, and her eyes brimmed in shame, "I tried to tell you in succubus den, remember? But you kept believing in my unconditionally, and... I... the way you looked at me Rachel... the way you... I didn't want to let you down! You only saw the good in me, and I couldn't let you see the bad!"

"You're lying!" I screamed in both pleasure and anger, "Stop testing my faith!"

"I never meant to test your faith." God said as she leaned over to me, her perfect tan breasts falling from her plunging neckline, "When we first met, and you saw me covered in cum, that wasn't me testing you, that was me being careless and stupid."

"Stop..." I pleaded, my voice shaking with the trembling orgasm building inside me, "no more tests..."

"It's not a test, Sweetie," God whispered in my ear as her fingers slid down my spine, "I'm really a slut, and Lucy is really in love with you."

"Liar!" I sobbed, the orgasm driving my entire body into a fit.

"I can give you the gift of sight," God smiled sadly as her fingers traced past my tail bone and tickled my rim, "and you'll see everything as I see it. The unfiltered truth."

God's fingers slipped into my asshole, her invasion gentle and painless. I cried out as my back fixed into a concave curve, my breasts jiggling in Jesus's face, my ass protruding from my skirt. My eyes were wide and writhing, my mouth agape and trembling. God's fingers kneaded the tender swath that divided my holes, pressing the vile flesh against Jesus's cock, turning my insides into a mess of ruinous ecstasy. I couldn't hold back anymore, and I belted out a final cathartic shriek. Jesus smashed his tip against my cervix, and exploded, growling and heaving, tossing me with the force of his climax. The feelings suffused in a mosaic of ecstatic glory, and I mouthed a single breathless note before the world went black.

Rachel? A voice asked me in the darkness.

God? I inquired.

This is how I see the universe. God's voice said as the void began to take light and shape, Not in forms and color, but in time. Can you see it, Rachel?

A single naked baby sat in a sea of darkness. Her head was mostly bald, but a few wisps of blonde hair were beginning to thicken.

That's me after I died the last time. Aren't I adorable?

You died? I asked.

Yes, God said, countless of times. The universe always ends, and then begins anew. Sometimes it's entropy heat death, but usually I just fuck it up beyond repair, and put a bullet in my head. Think of it as a reset button.

You KILLED YOURSELF?!

Yeah, God laughed, I know what it says in the bible, but that's all bullshit. I've committed suicide an infinite number of times; the universe dies, and then I'm reborn with a fresh mind, and the knowledge of previous lives. I like to think it makes me wiser, but I usually make the same mistakes a few million times before I figure it out. I know everything, but I'm a slow learner.

I looked at the laughing baby sitting in a void of darkness. She shat herself, looked at the shit, inspected it with a keen eye, then picked it up and threw it, laughing manically.

So... yeah... God said, this is how the universe is for a few billion years. Let's fast forward, shall we?

The child turned into a blur of rapidly moving limbs, an occasional brown streak of shit flinging across the empty sky. The motions slowed down, and God had become noticeably bigger. She had a full head of blonde hair, and now bore the stature of a toddler.

So, this is around the age most kids start figuring out basic shapes and colors. God said, Here, I create the building blocks of the universe: atoms and bosons. Just simple electrons, protons and neutrons attracted together by boson fields; easy stuff for a kid. I start with hydrogen (one atom), move to helium (two atoms), then lithium (three atoms), and so on and so forth. I can count all the way up to one-hundred-and-eighteen, and I'm very proud of myself. The last element is ununoctium, with one-hundred-and-eighteen atoms, and then I get bored and quit.

The universe fast forwarded again, and the toddler moved in a blur of growing limbs and lengthening hair. When the image slowed down, God was a child around the age of seven, with a robe on, and butt-length golden hair. The universe was still dark, but child-God was holding a gleaming ball of amazing light.

So here, I'm making the first ever star. God said in my mind. I always fuck this up. I'm a child who thinks she's too smart, and can create a perfect orderly universe with no problems. Wait for it...

The child collected ununoctium atoms and condensed them into a larger and larger ball. Her expression was one of pride and wonder; her youthful face gleaming in the white light of her creation. The orb that floated before her began to vibrate and convulse in an uneasy unstable fusion pulse, but she continued to add more and more atoms despite it. Once the star was trembling with power, she stopped, licked her lips, and then gently, ever so carefully, added one more atom. And the universe exploded in a nuclear blast of white light, and trillions upon trillions of stars dotted the horizon. The child was blown on to her ass, looked at the mess she made and screamed, "not again!"

And that's the Big Bang, Rachel. Every. Fucking. Time. I just can't help but add that last ununoctium atom. Anyways, the stars are born, some large with heavy atoms, some small, like the sun, with lighter atoms. This is about... fourteen billion years ago, I think. Let's move on.

The image fast forwarded again, and God was around ten years old. She was in a t-shirt and jeans now, and the universe was much more colorful than it had been before. In her hands, were what looked like simple plastic toys.

This is when shit gets interesting. God said. Here is where I start creating life.

You're just putting playing with K'Nex.

Those are nucleic acids. I'm creating a DNA strand. Look what I made!

A green blob of wavering shape bobbed up and down in the void.

What is it?

A single-celled organism! God said proudly. A little less complex than bacteria, but I'm getting there!

It's uh... I trailed off, It's beautiful...

Hey, I was only nine billion years old, so cut me some slack! God said indignantly. We'll just zoom past all the rest of this here...aaaaaaaand stop. So, before you look, just remember that this was my teenage era, and I was... angsty.

God was halfway between childhood and womanhood, and the transition looked to be going poorly. Her head was buzzed on one side, her hair was died black, and she was wearing very dramatic eye liner. She was moping around, saying, "nothing means anything," and, "this is all stupid," all the while sending asteroids into planets and causing supernovas next to solar systems.

I hit my grunge years pretty hard. God sighed. I was looking for an identity, and needed someone to bounce my new feelings off of. So, I created a sister.

Teenage God muttered something, and then began concocting a series of nucleic acids and carbon atoms. In a blur of arms and hands, a shape began to take form, and then it began to move. Teenage Lucy stood before me, her skin red, her youthful face baring none of the makeup she usually wore, and her horns poking from a mane of wavy black hair.

"Hey God," Lucy smiled warmly to her divine counterpart, "I was wondering when you'd get around to making me again."

"I thought I could do it all on my own." Teenage God grumbled, "Last time, you ended the entire universe in a drunken rage. I shouldn't keep bringing you back, you only cause me problems, but-"

"...but you get lonely," Lucy said, embracing God, "and you need your sister."

"Do you think we should make humans again?" God asked Lucy, "They always cause problems. I think we should just make Klingons, Ewoks and Salarians, and then see what to do from there."

"No, no, no," Lucy smiled, "you know the deal: if you make me, you have to make humans. C'mon God, they're your favorites."

"Fine," God grumbled, "but first, I'm making some fucking dinosaurs."

"No more fucking dinosaurs!"

"Lucy, I swear they'll pan out this time. They'll be in jets and watching YouTube in no time, you'll see."

"They're stupid reptiles with feathers, God. They don't do anything but..."

So that's how I created Lucy in this universe, God said, and I always do. There was never a 'first' universe, but as far back as I can remember, Lucy has always been with me. She never found love, Rachel, though she never actually looked for it either. You are the first person she's ever fallen for.

What the fuck...

Let's move on.

The universe whirled in shapes and colors, and then stopped to reveal the most beautiful image I'd ever seen. Immense puffy clouds towered above a pristine lake, their darkened bottoms lined with brilliant silver sunlight. Massive pine trees dotted the domes of rolling hills, and a trickling water fall parted a stone palace in two. In one of the rooms of the palace, God was combing her beautiful blonde hair. She looked to be in her early twenties, the flower of her youth fully in bloom, her very flesh seeming to radiate. But there was something uncharacteristically demure about her. She was wearing a simple white dress that covered her up in a conservative fashion, and she sat with stiff, stately posture.

Is this heaven? I asked her.

It is. God said. My little resort for boring people.

Where's Lucy? I asked.

Oh, you'll see, God chuckled, Things are about to get very interesting. I feel obligated to tell you that I am definitely over eighteen here.

Why do you need to tell me that?

...reasons.

There was a knock on the door, and God turned around.

"Come in, Lucy." She called.

Lucy entered the room, looking every bit the woman she was now. She didn't have on her black boots, corset or fishnet stockings, but she did wear the black lipstick and eyeliner that would become her signature. Replacing her usual clothing was... nothing at all. She was buck naked in all her crimson glory.

"Lucy," God said, "we're not doing this again."

"Yeah, we are." Lucy giggled.

"I'm staying celibate for this cycle." God replied curtly, "I need to focus on my work. This time, humans are just going to appear; none of that evolving-from-monkey bullshit that always causes so many problems."

"Let them evolve," Lucy said as she sauntered sultrily over to God, "they're more fun when they still have their animal instincts."

"Lucy, I will put you in a cage for a billion years, I swear it!" God said.

"Mmmm, you tried that fifty cycles ago," Lucy said merrily, placing her hands upon God's shoulders, "and you let me out after a million because you were just too damn horny."

"We just need to get through the last of our twenties, and we'll be fine." God said, not brushing off Lucy's hands, "They're just hormones, Lucy; we can control them."

"What's the fun in that?" Lucy whispered in God's ear, "You make the perfect universe, and then what?"

"And then maybe I don't have to blow my brains out when everything goes to shit."

"It's the journey, not the destination." Lucy whispered again, her hands now sliding over God's shoulders and tracing her collar bone, "Even if you do make it perfectly, to what end do you make it?"

"I... I don't know to what end!" God yelled at Lucy, tears forming in her eyes, "I don't know why I'm here, or why I do what I do! I don't have a god to give me answers!"

"You have me," Lucy said, her hands now traveling down the sides of God's breasts, "and I can tell you right now what the meaning of this all is: nothing. There is no meaning. The universe is what we make of it, so let's make love."

"That was pretty smooth," God conceded with a tearful smile, "how long have you been practicing that?"

"I'm pretty sure I used it during your last existential crisis, maybe... five million cycles ago? It's hard to tell."

"You know if we do this, I'm just going to end up like I always do." God whispered.

"Fun?" Lucy laughed, "Adventurous? Oh, no!"

"A slut. I can't control myself once I get a taste."

"So what?" Lucy laughed, her hands now traveling down God's stomach, "I can't either, to be honest. I just hide it better than you. If you want, I can relieve you of your guilt, and just take you by force."

"But it's just me pretending to get raped." God sighed, "It won't mean anything really."

"You sure enjoy it later," Lucy said, "you always do."

"Let's just... be tender with each other this time." God smiled up.

"You know I always turn into a sadist, and you a masochist," Lucy smirked, "but for now, we can just be two virgins, exploring each other's bodies in an innocent, rom-com sort of way."

God smiled again, and Lucy smiled back. Lucy leaned her head forward as God tilted it back, and their lips came together in an apprehensive, timid kiss that only virgin deities could make look good. Lucy's hands traveled further and further down God's dress, while God's brought Lucy deeper into the kiss with an entangling of fingers in black hair. Lucy pulled God's dress past her hips, exposing her thick tan thighs and the hairless slit between them. Lucy eyed her prize as she sucked God's mouth, and teasingly walked both her hands along the creases of God's pelvis. Her fingers flattened against God's lower abdomen, then slid down.

Watch, Rachel; if there is a meaning to existence, it is this. Enjoying someone else intimately, becoming so close with someone, that you're almost the same person.

God muffled a moan from the kiss. Lucy's fingers splayed out over God's slit, and then began to curl at the knuckles, moving inside. The tendons in God's neck stood up in an intense moan, and the blood of her chastity flowed from between Lucy's penetrating fingers. The muscles in God's neck continued to flex for a moment, then relaxed in acceptance. I could see the change come over her almost immediately. Her legs spread wide across the chair to give her molester unfettered access between them, she shrugged the straps off her shoulders and exposed the ample tan breasts that had been hidden. Her back arched from the chair in bow of sexual lassitude, a lecherous tone permeating from her occupied mouth as her kiss became more impassioned. She brought her hands to Lucy's, and pushed the invading fingers deeper inside. Lucy's kissing mouth parted from God's to reveal a devilish grin, and God returned it with the warm smile she was famous for, only her eyes were cast in sexual hedonism. They stared at each other, their gaze full of love, their hands held back-to-front, both pushing forward to deepen God's pleasure.

"Oh shit," God said with a small vocal fry, "it happened again."

"It always does," Lucy smiled back, "my little, omnipotent slut."

"You ruined me," God moaned, "this cycle is doomed!"

"They all are." Lucy sniggered, "We're born, we make a mess, we die, and we do it all over again. And God," Lucy smiled as she lowered her lips for another kiss, "we'll keep doing it this way forever, because it's the best thing there is."

"Fuck me, Lucy." God whispered, "Making love is boring as shit."

I'm down to keep watching if you are. God said in my mind.

I think I've seen enough.

You sure? Because Lucy's got a whole chest full of whips and chains hidden behind that door...

Let's go back.

The visions disappeared, and I was straddled across Jesus' lap with the last echoes of my orgasm burning inside me. Jesus was staring at me with an inquisitive expression, one of his hands gripping my left breast tightly.

"Stop the car." I said as he ran over Adolf Hitler, "I'm getting the fuck out of here."

The Enzo came to a screeching halt, and I jumped out of the car and onto the sidewalk. God said something to Jesus, and then she came out of the passenger's seat, and Jesus sped away.

"Sorry I ruined your date." God said bashfully, "Though he kind of ruined it for you."

"What the fuck is all this?" I asked God, "Why is there even a heaven or hell? How can you judge people for their decisions, when you're as flawed, if not more flawed, than most of them?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Rachel," God said, "hell isn't even bad; it's where 'bad' people feel the most comfortable, so that's where we put them. Mormons and serial killers usually don't get along on earth, so why would I stick them together in the afterlife? I don't judge any of my children."

"And these tests you're making me do?" I said, getting more and more angry, "Was Jesus right about them? Are they just because you and Lucy are fucking bored?!"

"Well..." God trailed off, "yeah, that's basically it."

"And all of this," I said, gesturing to hell, but meaning the entire universe, "will go to shit, and you'll put a bullet in your brain and start all over?!"

"Yup," God replied, "that's probably... most definitely how this universe will end. Humanity's on a trajectory to make A.I. in the next fifty years, and believe me Honey, it doesn't end well. Robots take over the universe, I get bored, I start over."

"Do you even care?!" I screamed, "Do you give a single shit about any of us?!" I gestured to the only person around, which happened to be Hitler, but I think I got my point across.

"Of course, I care." God said, tears welling in her eyes, "If I didn't care, I wouldn't bother. But I do the same thing, cycle after cycle. Humans, always humans, the people I created in my own image. Endless iterations of the same thing, because I love you all too much to stop."

I stared blankly at the crying God. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she stood there, her hands folded below her waist, her head bowed in shame.

"Is there no meaning to anything?" I said, my voice hoarse and whispering.

"There is no meaning, except the meaning you make." God said, her voice breaking, "I don't want there to be misery and agony in the universe, but happiness means nothing without them. I don't want there to be evil, but good means nothing without it. I give you free will, because choice means nothing without it. I give you death, because life means nothing without it. I wish I knew the equation that makes everything perfect, Rachel, but there is no such thing as perfection. I've sought perfection for countless of cycles, but there can be no perfection without imperfection, and that is a paradox I cannot solve!"