Goddess Ch. 02

His voice sounded deeper than usual. He sat on the edge of the bed and his hands started caressing my face and very, very slowly moved down, cupping and stroking my breasts, playing with my nipples, always continuing their way down my body. When he reached between my legs I instinctively opened them to make it easier for him to touch me.

I felt one of his fingers collecting moisture from the entrance to my vagina, then rubbing my swollen clitoris with a soft, steady motion. His other hand was now taking my nipples between his fingers, one at the time, pinching and twisting them until I was reaching the verge of pain, then stopping, only to start again. I was breathing heavily or, to be more accurate, I was panting. In what seem to me less than a minute I reached my first orgasm with a loud cry. My father held me tight in a hug that seemed to go forever. I was holding on to him and could not stop myself moving from laughter to tears to laughter to tears and back again until my father broke the spell by saying 'I suppose that I better order a pizza'. My pain was gone.

After dinner we started watching a movie on television but my father decided to go to bed early and read instead. I sat in front of the TV set but my mind was not on the movie that I was supposedly watching. I could only think of being touched and feeling so hot. One of my hands drifted slowly to find a niche between my legs. I rubbed myself like my father had done and it did felt good, but I had an overwhelming feeling or, more than the feeling the knowledge that I wanted more. I got up, turned the television and the lights off and, in the dim glow of the streetlights coming from the windows, I moved towards my room. I stopped in front of my father's bedroom door, My eyes fixed in the narrow band of light showing under it. I took off my night shirt letting it fall on the floor and I went in. Neither of us said a word. I climbed into bed with him, both of us completely naked and we hugged together, this time feeling my skin against his.

I pressed my body against his and felt his penis growing harder against me. I moved to hold it between my legs and my father sighted. His hands were running up and down my back, sometimes grabbing my buttocks, half sinking his nails into it. I moved rubbing myself against and he started kissing me, his tongue deep in my mouth. My first true kiss and he tasted so good! He slowly pushed me to lay on my back and his mouth started travelling down my neck, licking and biting softly until it reached one of my nipples where it stood for a while longer, teasing, sucking, biting a bit harder each time. My nipples had, all of the sudden been converted into the centre from where floods of pleasure inundated the rest of my body. Soon his tongue was playing with my clitoris while one of his fingers played at the entrance of my vagina. I climaxed within seconds but he kept going. My sensations were so intense that I felt a shot of pain and pleasure mixed together every time his tongue touched me.

I was ready to come again when he held my legs up and kneeled in front of me, rubbing his penis on my clitoris first, then starting to push it inside. He was big and the pain was so intense that I could not hold back a scream. My father started pulling away but I took hold of his arms, pulling him closer instead. It may have been hurting a lot, but I wanted him to do it. He understood and kept penetrating me slowly. I felt in agony, stretched, filled, overflowing but still wanting him. When I thought that I would not be able to take it for much longer he held me firm with his hands on my hips, my legs hooked under his arms and with a single deep motion pushed the rest of his penis inside me. It felt like if I was being torn apart alive and I screamed at the top of my lungs, he bent forward and started caressing my face, staying motionless inside me. By then I was crying, still in great pain, and through my watery eyes I saw and felt him kissing my tears with a tenderness that I have never experienced since.

He started withdrawing very slowly. He was still as hard as a rock and every inch that he was moving out was sending me into more screaming and more tears. When he was completely out he took me in his arms and carried me to the shower. I could see both of us with our legs covered in my blood.

I was sill bleeding when we came out of the bathroom, so I went into my room to put a pad and then back to my father's bed. He had changed the sheets and held me tight, my head resting against his chest. I was lullabied into sleep by the music of the beating of his heart.

When I woke up on Saturday morning I was still lying with my head on my father's arm and the first thing I saw was his kind, soft eyes looking at me, surveying my face like if he wanted to imprint it in his memory for ever. I smiled and pressed myself against him. 'Good morning' he said, 'how are you feeling now?' I snugged even closer before answering 'good…' I lifted my head and kissed him on his mouth. This time I was the one pushing my tongue in and he the one responding.

'Are you still bleeding?' he asked. 'I don't know'. He pulled the blanket away, said 'lift your bottom' and pulled my pants with the pad off. 'Let me have a look' he said and I opened my legs. He opened my labia and I moaned. I was incredibly sore! He moved his hand away and gave me the softest of kisses right were I was hurting. 'You are sore but you are no longer bleeding' his voice had a happy smile. We cuddled in bed for a long while until he said 'you stay here, I will make breakfast and bring it in'.

I didn't want Monday to come but it did. On the drive to the school my father said 'I'll pick you up about half an hour earlier on Friday so we can get to the doctor's before five. He said he wanted to see you again then and I think that it's a good idea' and he handed me a note for the school asking them to release me before the normal time.

That week was the longest of my entire life. I found it hard to concentrate at school but it didn't matter, as I was miles ahead of my classmates, having always been encouraged by my father to read an be inquisitive. On Monday night I went to bed early and I broke my mother's eleventh commandment by getting between the sheets without a nigh shirt. My hands seemed to have a life of their own, drifting all over my body, recreating the feelings of the past three days. I touched myself and felt sore, but also very wet. I carefully started rubbing my clitoris and I soon reached an orgasm.

By Thursday my pains had all but gone and thinking of the coming Friday I felt hotter than ever! That night I masturbated virtually non-stop for almost one hour. I lost count of how many orgasms I reached. I would have continued for a lot longer had it not been for my mother opening the door of my darkened room and asking me if I was OK as she had hear me moaning. She had to choose that particularly inappropriate moment to show some interest in me! Had I not been completely covered with my blanket, brimstone and fire would have been rained upon me by the indignation of my self-righteous and asexual mother.

When Friday finally came, it felt strange to leave school ahead of everybody else. A teacher went with me to the door to ensure that my father was there to pick me up, or perhaps to see if she could pick him up. I got into the car while my father put my things in the boot. He got in, gave me the disappointing paternal kiss that I knew was to be reserved for public places and we immediately drove away.

While he was driving I took his left hand and put it on the inside of my thigh and he softly caressed me, from my knee to my pants, slightly touching me between my legs and asking, 'are you still sore?' I told him that I had no more pain and that I had masturbated all week thinking of him giving me lots of pleasure during the weekend. He nodded smiling and said 'regarding this doctor's appointment of yours, I will have to take you there and pick you up later as I have to go to my office for a few minutes to get some papers. Do you mind?' I would have preferred him to be present, but said 'I have no problems and don't forget that I'm an experienced woman now'. We both laughed at my comment

The medical centre was half way between my mother's home and my father's apartment, only a twenty minutes drive. He stopped the car at the entrance and as I was getting out said 'I'll be back in three-quarters of an hour. If you are out before I arrive, please wait for me at this spot.'

This time an older woman was at the reception, talking on the phone. When she finished I gave her my name, she pulled my record and said that the doctor would not be long. I only had to wait a couple of minutes when the same man that had seen me the first time called me from the entrance to a corridor. When I approached him he asked 'Your father is not with you today?' 'No, he will pick me up in about three quarters of an hour'. He said 'wait here for a minute' and left me standing there. He came back some five minutes later and took me to a different room, where two other doctors were waiting. He motioned me in and closed the door behind him. I had a glimpse around. The room was bigger than the one before, but equally as Spartan. There was the same small metal desk in one corner, an examination table that for me at the time looked strange and a single client chair. He said 'I would like my colleagues to have a look at you. They know your history, so today you wont have to answer so many questions. All you have to do now is undress.' I was apprehensive, not so much embarrassed but a bit scared by the unknown universe that I was obviously entering. Nevertheless, this time I stood facing the three men while undoing a few of the buttons and lifting my school uniform over my head, unhooking my bra and pulling my pants down. My shoes went last. Once naked I walked to the examination table and lifted myself on.

'Have you started to masturbate as I suggested' the first doctor said. 'Yes'. One of the other two men then said 'show us how you do it.' I half opened my legs and when I put my hand between them I felt incredibly wet. I liked the three men looking at me, I think that deep down I already knew then that I did have the power to make them hot enough to practically convert them into being my slaves. I started stroking the entrance to my vagina and my clitoris when one of the doctors moved my hand away and started doing it for me. I felt my legs being lifted and hooked on the high stirrups, opened wide apart. One of the doctors stood between my legs while the other two stood one on each side. They all started stimulating me at the same time. Every part of my body was responding and I could feel how even my toes were becoming erogenous zones. In no time at all I reached a state that I can only describe as constant orgasm.

While I was moaning and twisting, the doctor between my legs pushed two fingers inside me and said with a wide grin 'I see that you did a lot more than just masturbate'. I couldn't see what he was doing but I soon felt his penis penetrating me and moving inside me with deep thrusts and a fast rhythm. I felt no pain this time, not only because it was my second time but, also because he felt much smaller than my father.

I lost track of time. I kept going from a howling climax to the next. I must say that I was proud of virtually exhausting three men, each one of them old enough to be my father but, I must say, none as sexy as he is even today. When I left that room I had sore muscles that I did not even know existed, but I was also walking with a smile in my face. Actually, until last year I kept going there for any medical but unfortunately that doctor has been struck off because of complaints of sexual misconduct, most certainly none of them from me. A real pity!

My father was waiting for me. 'That took a really long time' he said. 'We just started chatting and didn't realise how late it was. He examined me again and said that if I was going to have sex to be careful not to get pregnant, as I was still growing, therefore a bit too young to go on the pill'. I didn't feel like telling him what had happened. Looking back on that day I can see that what I actually did was to take my first step towards establishing my own independent sexual identity.

That afternoon we got to my father's apartment and as he closed the door I started undressing. We were caressing each other all the way to the bedroom. By the time we made it into bed, in spite of my sore muscles I was dripping all the way down my legs and my father was going mad with the urge to get inside me to fuck me until we both came... Regardless of all the sexual encounters that I have had since, I can truthfully say that I never had a sexier weekend!

That's how I had my sexual awakening, and I am both, proud of it and happy that it came to be that way! Even now I visit my father as often as I can and every time I'm there we find an excuse to be away from his new wife for long enough to have some of the most satisfying sex that there is. I remember doing it once in his garage, lying naked on top of the car's hood after we arrived from shopping, feeling the warm hot metal against my own hot and sweaty skin. Nowadays, when I go past somebody mowing their lawn I relieve the time in the garden shed with me bending forward over a bag full of grass clippings, the smell of freshly mown lawns in my nose and my father's hands holding my hips. A perfectly choreographed love-making paradise.'

*************

I never stopped looking into her eyes all the way through her story. I was hoping to be able to see if she was serious or if she was just trying to shock me even further but she never gave me any indication that I could use to see if she was telling the truth or just making up a story. All the time she remained, as always, a mystery.

All the way through her story I could not stop thinking of my own daughter. Her sexuality would be developing right at this moment, but I did not know, nor had I ever been able to establish a relationship of trust with her that would make it possible for her to feel free to talk to me about anything.

Camille and I were looking at each other without talking for several minutes. She finally broke the silence. 'Franco, I know that you were looking for me all week rather than getting on with the business of living your life. You will never find me. Your efforts in that respect are totally futile, so I suggest you give up your search. I will appear again when the right time comes.'

She raised from the chair, and started walking away, ready to vanish again. With a trembling voice I said, 'I think that I'm beginning to fall in love with you.' She turned around with an expression of understanding mixed with compassion. 'That is not quite possible Franco, to be able to love others you have to learn to love yourself first and that is a most difficult task when guilt rules your life.' I looked at her slowly walking away towards the lifts, her image fading in the darkness of the office.

I feel as a child who is being abandoned naked in the wilderness, a modern day version of Romulus and Remus. I can only hope that the wolves will nurture me like they did to them rather than just feast on my carcass.

I didn't attempt to follow her. Much as I wanted to I realised that she would never allow me to find her. I had at last arrived to the first stage of understanding Camille and myself. I could see that she would only play a game by her rules, not mine, nor those of the society at large, nor those of religions, nor any rule coming from any other form of law or dogma, only hers. As far as my life was concerned, I understood that it had to be re-invented. I could no longer live by what I had thought were fundamental and unchanging values. Camille's entry into my world had demonstrated to me that life was in a constant state of flux and I had to learn to move with it.

I walked slowly to the lifts, holding Camille's memory by its hand. The almost empty streets of midnight Sydney matched the emptiness that I felt inside me.