Goes Without Saying Pt. 04

"Yes, I am rather, aren't I?" she chuckled. "Sort your family out, and let me know by midday if you won't be in for the day, OK?"

"Thanks. Good night."

"Good night and sleep tight!" she breezed, disconnecting.

David did not follow his routine of getting out his diary and the pending work for the coming week as he usually did, but went straight to bed, setting his alarm for five thirty in case Bethan woke early as she sometimes did. He wondered if she also woke during the night now she was teething, so he slept fitfully that night.

On Monday morning he rose when his alarm sounded, but Bethan did not rouse until nearly seven, by which time he would have expected Celia to have arrived, but there was no sign of her. He followed the pattern when she was away and was able to stow Beth in her high chair with some ease to eat breakfast while he saw to Evan.

He worried that Evan would be upset Celia was not there, but since the morning followed on from the weekend as it did, he did not seem to notice. Once breakfast was over and the children were occupied, David sat down and wondered what to do.

He felt fear alternating with anger. Even if she were ill, surely she would have phoned, or got someone else to phone for her? Then it struck him that she was probably with Alex. Surely the two of them weren't enacting some sort of revenge against him? Admittedly he had made it clear he wanted nothing more to do with Alex.

Then he began to worry that Celia was in some sort of trouble. Had she been in an accident? Had she been a victim of violence?

That decided him: he'd go to her flat and see if she was there, then to Alex's. His thoughts were now in turmoil and he was near to panic. As if he was not in enough trouble, in the middle of it all the door bell rang. He had visions of two policemen with terrible news.

He knew it would not be Celia on the step, since she had a key. He flung open the door.

"What...?" and stuttered to a stop.

There stood Siân. She was serious and she was worried, he could see that from her face. The infectious smile was missing, instead there was a frown.

"Dai, bach, what's wrong with your phones? Your landline just rings and rings, and your mobile goes to voice mail!"

"Oh, fuck!" he exploded, then hoped to goodness the children had not heard. "I disconnect the landline overnight for fear of waking the children, and forgot to connect it this morning. My mobile's in the bedroom. Sorry! But what-?"

"Can I come in, d'you think?" she asked, with the beginnings of a gentle smile.

"Oh, sorry, Siân darling," and he stood aside as she entered, toting a large suitcase, a rucksack and a handbag.

As she put her baggage down, Evan ran to her. "Aunty Siân!" he shouted as he launched himself into her open arms.

"Dadda!" came another greeting as Beth crawled rapidly into the hallway. Siân moved to her, and swept her up into a hug. Siân cocked an eyebrow at David (this being a trick Beth had yet to learn).

"Dadda?" Beth inquired (she had learned that word).

"It's her first and at present only word," he said with a wry smile. "I thought she was talking to me at first. Felt great at the time - until she used it for everyone!"

"Dadda!" repeated Beth with her wide, two tooth grin.

The children having greeted their aunt and received their hugs, went off to play, leaving the adults alone to talk. They went through to the living room.

"Coffee?" David asked her as she sat down in an armchair.

"Afterwards," she said. "I need to tell you."

David sat down on the sofa, dreading what he was about to hear.

"Alex phoned home very early this morning," she began, "and I mean very early - four o'clock! He told me that Celia was 'unwell' and wouldn't be coming here. Would I fill in for her?"

"He didn't say how long she'd be away?" David's sense of dread grew deeper.

"I asked him that," she said with a worried look. "He said he didn't know if she'd ever be coming back." She paused, then: "He added, 'After what was said in the pub on Friday'. I didn't understand that, but he wouldn't say more. Do you know what he meant?"

David thought through the conversations that he had had.

"We were talking about New Year's Eve, and how sorry they were not to have told me about Alex and Celia. I was explaining how their deceit upset me, and then they asked about you.

"It came out that Celia had told them that you and I were sleeping together and how disgusting she found it. That did it for me, I'm afraid. I told them that she shouted at me for asking about her private life, while spreading my private life all over my friends. I said the atmosphere was now so bad between us that without an improvement I couldn't see her remaining.

"They asked how your presence would affect Celia, and I basically told them that if Celia couldn't stand you being there, she knew what she could do, though I didn't want that to happen."

Siân's face betrayed growing sadness and distress.

"And those so called friends of yours told her what you said! God! You'd think they'd have learned something from what's been happening," she bewailed. "Some things just shouldn't be said!"

David was distraught. Up to that moment he had known that there was a possibility that Celia would leave, but it was academic. Now the reality had struck he felt devastated at losing her, and it wasn't the loss of a nanny and housekeeper, but the loss of her, the woman, his friend who had given up so much to look after him and the children.

The coolness and antagonism now seemed utterly stupid, and he wondered whence his intense anger at her relationship with Alex had come, or, come to that, her own reticence about it and her violent defensiveness. Now it was too late. If only he had made time to talk with her calmly.

His face and demeanour betrayed him and Siân came to him and sitting next to him, put her arm around him.

"Dafydd, Bach, there's a fortnight before I start work. Plenty of time to sort everything out. We can plan what's needed and organise childcare. Unlike you, I'll be strictly nine to five at work, or better yet, eight to four. Perhaps Celia will eventually tell you what's going on with her. Dafydd you two need to talk it out. You need that so you can accept she's with Alex."

Accept she's with Alex. The statement hit him like a brick.

"Did Alex say they were an item now?" David asked tentatively with renewed dread, again puzzled by the intensity of the feeling.

"He didn't comment on that," she answered. "Just that brief message, though I think it's obvious she's with him at the moment."

They sat for a time with nothing more to say, while the sound of children at play wafted round them.

David recognised the feeling of loss: it was the same feeling he had when Gwen's death really hit home. Did he really feel the same about Celia? His thoughts went right back again to the night Celia arrived. Gwen and Celia had talked and planned.

Gwen wanted Celia to take over. He knew now that Gwen wanted Celia and him to get back together, should Gwen be taken before him and should Celia be free. Was Gwen expecting Celia to be free? That Celia would never settle down with someone?

Siân left the sofa and went to the kitchen, and soon he could smell coffee being made. He wondered what to do. What did Siân say? They had a fortnight to organise care for the children? Tomorrow they would make a start.

"Look Dafydd," she said. "You'll be needing time off in the next two weeks. Why don't you go into work now and sort something flexible out with your assistant?"

Once again she spoke sense, so he gathered up his things and went to work. Melissa was surprised to see him.

"Panic over?" she enquired.

"Only just beginning," he replied. "Celia seems to have left for good, so I've got a fortnight to sort childcare out for the children. Siân's come to babysit, but she'll be at work in a fortnight."

Melissa left his office without a comment, but returned in half an hour.

"I've consulted the diary, and the memos from head office. I've been to the heads of departments and there is nothing untoward in the offing. So you can really come and go as you please. I can cover for you, and if anything big comes from head office I can ring you."

"Thank you Melissa. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd manage!" she said with a laugh. "But obviously not so well!"

So he worked all day, and tried to anticipate what would need doing in future days, leaving work at the normal time.

When he arrived home, the house was filled with an appetising smell of roasting lamb. For a moment he thought Celia had returned, but it was Siân's culinary skills that were in evidence. The meal was delicious, and he told her so. Evan's contribution to the assessment being 'Yum yum," amazingly echoed by Beth, much to both the adults' surprise, even though it sounded like "Num, Num"!

David had just begun to clear the table prior to washing up, when the doorbell rang. He went to answer it and found Sally on the doorstep looking worried. He stood back as an invitation and she came in, preceding him to the living room, where she sat on the edge of the sofa.

Siân greeted her then told David she would wash up so Sally and David could talk.

"David I'll come straight to the point. Bill made a dreadful mistake, and I need to tell you everything, so you know."

"You know Celia's left me high and dry?" David asked pointedly, ignoring her statement.

"Yes." She knew he had not finished and thoughtfully waited. He admired her ability to know when to speak and when to listen.

"And you know it's because one of you four - I assume it was Bill since you mentioned his name - stupidly told Alex I'd said Celia was finished here, something I didn't say, and certainly didn't mean."

"That's right, but not quite. I think you need to know everything so you can decided what to do."

"I really don't think that I have any control over what happens next, no matter what I 'decide to do' as you put it. I've got to start looking for childcare for when Siân starts work, so knowing what happened is not going to help, is it?"

"I don't know, David. All I do know is that there were things said which may help. Can I please tell you?"

"All right, fine," David sighed, his voice dripping with resignation. "Go ahead."

She gave him a look of frustration at his tone, but shrugged and went ahead anyway. "Ok. The night after we met in the pub, Susan, Vanessa and I had a girls' night to talk about Susan and Bill's forthcoming wedding, so the men met in the pub: Bill, Tony and Greg. Bill was telling Greg about your troubles, when Ozzy came in."

"Oh hell!" muttered David. "Not Ozzy again! I think I already see where this is going."

"Sorry, David, love, but I suspect you're right. Bill was at the end of the tale when Ozzy came in, and then everyone went on to football, or something. Trouble was that Ozzy only heard a little of the end of the story, and you know what he's like-"

David snorted. "Fucking verbal diarrhoea!"

Sally looked surprised, then nodded. "Yes. Loose vowels," she grinned in spite of herself and David had to laugh. She went on, "He relayed the bit he'd heard to Alex, to the effect that you were going to sack Celia and wanted nothing more to do with her."

"And Alex went straight home to Celia and relayed the message," said David with resignation. "And of course Alex will be delighted: Celia will now stay at home with him instead of having to come back to the kids."

Sally looked puzzled. "No, darling, that's not right. Celia was there when Ozzy told Alex. Apparently, according to Alex, she broke down in tears. She ran off to her flat, and as far as I know, she hasn't left it since. She's deeply depressed and Alex is out of his mind with worry, and seething with anger at you."

"Well I'm sure he's been able to 'comfort' her," David said scornfully. "She'll soon feel better for his unique qualities."

"David, I think you've got it all wrong about Celia and Alex."

"Really?" said David with heavy sarcasm. "New Year's Eve. His bedroom window. Celia shedding her clothing, standing in her bra, before he closed the curtains. Don't be naïve Sally, they've been living together."

"I don't think so, David."

"Come off it, Sally, Are you really trying to say they haven't been sleeping together?"

"Well perhaps they have, but nothing permanent. She's been living in her flat during her time off, not with Alex."

"I don't believe you. They've been covering up their relationship. Sally, she yelled and shouted at me for asking what she did on her time off! I wasn't interrogating her, it was just a casual inquiry such as anyone might make, you know: 'So what have you got lined up for the weekend?' Why else would she be so defensive?"

"I don't know! The only one who can answer that one is Celia herself..." She thought for a moment, then, "or Alex perhaps."

"I'm not likely to find out from either of them, now am I?" he growled.

"That depends on you, David. You're the one who cut Alex off, aren't you? What are you always saying your Dad says? 'Goes without saying'? Well, David, you're in this mess because Celia wouldn't 'say', and you and Alex won't 'say'. For God's sake, David, your friends are not against you, or against Alex or Celia. We all want you three to talk to each other."

"Long before I 'cut Alex off' as you put it, he's been avoiding me. Why would he do that? What you're missing is that Celia always slapped me down whenever I asked her about-"

"Don't be stupid, David. I didn't say 'You mustn't interrogate Celia on what she gets up to on her days off,' I'm saying the three of you should sit down and talk about what's really going on. It's the only way for you to find out for certain, isn't it?"

David's initial reaction was negative, and she saw it in his face, and in turn he realised how disappointed she was and at the same time how sensible and right her urging was. He sagged and admitted defeat.

It struck him then that Sally was always the peacemaker. She always tried to help, to diffuse arguments should they break out. After all, it was she who had come to him, none of the others did.

"OK, Sally. You can take them a message. If they want to talk then I need to hear from them before the end of the week, since next week I start interviewing child-minders and nannies. If they don't want to talk, I suppose that's the end of a beautiful friendship."

"That's your response?" she asked, appalled.

"Yes, that's my response to you. Alex and Celia have been very good to me and I really appreciate all that they've done, but the last few weeks have been a living hell for me, and I don't want the freezing atmosphere there's been in the house to continue. It's not good for the children.

"Alex has been avoiding me, and now Celia has absented herself. It's just as well that Siân was free to come, otherwise there would have been real problems. I need my job to support my family. So if they want to clear the air, they know where I am."

Sally stared at him for a moment of two. David reacted.

"Look Sally, I've got two small children to bring up. Alex and Celia are both free to come and go as they please. I can't, so I'm not running after them. Perhaps Celia needs to realise that the kids come first for me. So if they want to talk they have to come here."

She shrugged. "Yes, I suppose you're right. I'll relay that message."

They stood and David saw her out, getting a hug and gentle kiss from her as she passed him. She smiled at him and stroked his cheek, but said nothing more and neither did he.

Siân came into the living room. "I heard," she said. "You've left the door open for them. Let's hope they respond."

David realised then so clearly that he fervently hoped so too.

-

On Tuesday they began to look at lists of nanny agencies, and made appointments at three of them, one for the next day, and the rest for early the following week.

On Wednesday he went to the agency but did not feel comfortable with their attitude and responses. He went into the office in the afternoon and caught up. Marissa asked him how he was faring and he told her what he'd done and how unsatisfactory he'd found the agency. She sighed, told him all was not lost, and they returned to work.

On Thursday he went into work in the morning, but was so despondent that there had been no response from Celia or Alex, that Marissa told him to go home, and he left at lunchtime.

Over the week, Siân had done her best to keep his spirits up, though they did not share a bed. Siân had gone straight to 'her' bedroom in the attic, and David felt no urge to invite her to his room. It was as if the crisis had drained all his libido, and he certainly felt depressed. However, her cooking and her cheerful care for the children impressed him, and he told her how grateful he was for her presence and her love.

As one would expect, by Thursday evening he had lost hope that either Alex or Celia would ever come, and therefore when the door bell sounded, he did not immediately think they had at last arrived. So it was Siân who went to the door since David was finishing putting the children to bed.

He met Siân at Evan's door.

"You've got a visitor," she said with a smile and a loving kiss. "Are they asleep?"

"Auntie Siân?" came a little voice from the bedroom.

"You go down. I'll see to him." she said, giving David an extra hug.

David descended the stairs and entered the living room. Seeing his visitor he stopped dead.

"Alex?"

-

Chapter 20

Alex stood up as David entered.

"David, this has gone on long enough," he said quietly. "I've got an almost suicidal woman at my flat, utterly depressed. She won't move out of her bedroom, won't eat. We need to get this sorted out."

"You're saying that I'm to blame?" David retorted hotly. "She's not said a civil word to me for weeks, she's gone about maligning me to our friends, the atmosphere here has been forbidding, and before long it'll affect the children.

"I told Sally, my children come first. If Celia's going to shack up with you permanently, as it seems she already has, sooner or later she'll be leaving us. So I find you two creeping around secretly insulting and pointless. I thought we were friends - why do the pair of you need to lie?

"I need to plan for my children's welfare and I don't know where I stand with her. Any approach to her asking what she's doing has been met with a shouting match and 'mind your own business'. You've been avoiding me, which I don't understand either."

"Ok," Alex said quietly. "There are a hell of a lot of misunderstandings here, and I admit, some of it is my fault. I'd really like it if we could get things sorted out now."

David was at a loss. Alex seemed so calm and David could see no sign of guilt. So many conflicting thoughts and emotions coursed through him so rapidly that he was paralysed for a while. Alex waited patiently. At last David shook himself and spoke.

"It's taken you long enough," he said. "Celia's left me in an awkward situation, just not turning up. Are you now coming to tell me she's decided to leave me in the lurch and shack up with you? You two are getting together, I presume?"

"No David, you've got it wrong-"

"Come off it, Alex, You two are an item now, admit it. The pair of you have been creeping around keeping it from me. My best friend suddenly starts avoiding me, lying to me. Why, Alex?

"When were you going to tell me she was leaving? She's supposed to give me notice; I've got to find childcare for my children. God knows what I'd have done if Siân hadn't been able to come at a moment's notice when you rang her. Celia's not coming back, is she?"

"Why don't we sit down, David, and let me tell you everything. It's not as straightforward as you believe at the moment, and there are aspects that you haven't understood at all, at least that's what I think."