Gold for Plastic Ch. 02

"Have I what?" I asked, trying, but failing, to keep a straight face. I found myself smirking, barely able to keep from laughing.

She could see I was messing with her and she struck me playfully on the shoulder.

"I can't believe you are going to make me ask you." She raised her eyebrows and her eyes bore into mine. "OK, Matt, have you been having a lot of sex?"

Waiting for the answer, her face softened into a mixture of embarrassment, hope, fear and maybe curiosity.

"Oh, yea, I guess I say I have been. Quite a bit really." Her face clouded over and I quickly added, "Of course I've been alone every time." I made a show of looking at my right hand while I flexed it open and closed a couple of times.

A look of recognition and relief washed over her face and she laughed a little. She grabbed my right hand and while looking at it said "I guess I should be pretty jealous of you, since you've had my Matt pretty much too yourself."

I sucked in my breath and put on a face mocking discomfort, feigning I had something difficult to say. "Leanne, it's not just my right hand. I....I don't know how to say this but I've....I've been with my left hand too. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't help myself...."

She laughed again, put her arms around me and, kissing me gently after each word said "From....now.....on....your....hands....will.....be....for.....touching.....me.....and....not....for....you." She ended with a long, sensuous French kiss.

I wanted to say something incredibly erotic and romantic. I wanted to impress her with my depth of feeling and give her something to remember forever. I wanted to be Keats and Don Juan and Cyrano de Bergerac all rolled into one. But, at that moment, all I could think to say was "How about we go back to my place?"

She was breathing hard still, looking at me with bedroom eyes and holding me like she wouldn't let me go, but then she said something I didn't expect at all.

"Uhm....how about if I meet you there in a couple of hours. I have to take care of something first."

I was more than a little surprised and more than a little deflated. I asked what she had to do, where she was going, why she couldn't do it later; but she was evasive, and given my recent track record, I was more than a little worried. We walked to my car and I drove her to her place. She ran to her own car, got in and took off without going in to her apartment, driving like she was shot out of a gun.



Her sudden departure left me thinking a million miles an hour. Naturally I imagined that she had something going on that was more important than being with me and I felt pretty crappy about it. I'd gone from being sure that she wanted to be with me to being not so sure about anything in about 10 minutes. I drove home, grabbed a beer, flung myself on the couch and started watching some old movie. Two more beers, a ham sandwich, another old movie later and I was getting pretty convinced I'd be spending another night alone when, suddenly, my front door opened with a bang. It was so loud and unexpected that I jumped up off the couch, thinking it was the cops or maybe something worse.

Leanne burst into the living room, threw her arms around me and kissed me aggressively.

"Missed you." She said and started rummaging through her purse, eventually pulling out a giant pack of condoms which she threw on the coffee table and kissed me again.

"That's a lot of condoms." I mumbled, with my lips still smashed against hers.

She pulled back a little and reddened. "Uh, I didn't want to take the chance that....you wanted to use them and that...um....you were out, so I picked some up."

"So, uh, you took 3 hours to buy condoms? Is that what you've been doing?"

She looked at my chest, grabbed my shirt and started slowly undoing the buttons as she talked.

"No. I went to see Danny." She looked up at my face when she said that, undoubtedly seeing a look of extreme consternation. "It's not what you might think. I had to.....I had to tell him that it's over. We've been together a long time Matt and I didn't want to do it on the phone, he deserved a face to face talk. It would have been cowardly otherwise."

I was relieved but still puzzled. "You had to do it tonight?"

"Yes Matt, I did. And I did it for you, for us." She was finishing taking off my shirt, staring intently at me, her mouth inches away from mine, her breath mixing with mine as she talked. "Remember you told me you couldn't have recreational sex with me? That you felt too strongly to do that and that you wanted sex to reflect a commitment? To reflect fidelity? Exclusiveness?"

I nodded.

"Well, it will. It's going to. And I had to end it with Danny officially to make it so." My shirt was off and she was kissing down my chest. Between her kisses and the rushed explanation that carried some life changing implications about our relationship, I was having trouble thinking.

"So...uh....this will mean that....." I couldn't get anything else out.

"This will mean that I intend you to be the last man I make love with." She looked up at me and raised her eyebrows. "And it sure as hell better mean I will be the last woman you are with."

By now my pants were half way down my legs and she was pulling on my erection with long, sensual, luxurious stokes, my own secretions wetting her hand. All I could do was smile, nod stupidly and reach for her blouse.

Within a few minutes we were in bed, naked, kissing and rubbing each other with a sort of desperate desire and anxiousness. I kissed down her neck, her breasts, her belly, down her thighs and all the way to her feet and then started back up again, stopping at her crotch where I spent some time blowing and licking and kissing. Finally I pressed my mouth against her and began to use my tongue and my lips, gently at first and harder and harder until she pressed herself back against my mouth, hard enough I thought she might bruise my lips. As she pushed against my mouth I slipped two fingers inside of her, curled them forward and began to rub against the soft spongy wall, keeping my mouth busy against her outer hardness.

It wasn't long before she moaned and then very nearly screamed and her hips bucked against my face like a rodeo horse. I kept my mouth against her until her hips slowed and then stopped and I crawled up to even my face with hers, kissing her cheeks and her neck and her shoulders, avoiding her mouth in case she didn't want to taste herself. She'd have none of it and she pulled my face to her and we began kissing deeply again.

I needed her then more than I needed anything ever in my life and I began to slowly push myself into her. She responded by moving her legs farther apart and then wrapping them around me and we began to rock into each other, slowly and then with more speed and conviction. We had as much sweat slicked skin touching as possible, her legs around my back, our chests and bellies pressed against each other, my forearms resting on hers with our hands interlocked and resting above our heads, all while we continued to kiss. This wasn't the kind of sex people have for fun, we were doing what lovers do, what a couple that has shut out the entire outside world does when they only want to be with one person, when they very nearly want to be the only thing in the world at all.

I wanted it to last forever, but when she arched her back again and started to scream in my mouth, I had to release myself in her. We lay there, panting, kissing, smiling, and giggling over small talk, whispering faint 'I love yous' for some time. And then we did it twice more, each time nearly as satisfying as the first and stayed and slept in the bed until late Sunday morning when we did it again. We never used the condoms.



Over the next couple of days, Leanne moved into the duplex with me. She hung her clothes where Megan's used to be and her makeup and shoes . We ate together, watched TV together, showered together and slept together. It felt every bit like a marriage to me and, after a couple of months of this, I didn't see the point of not making it official. I asked her to marry me in the same Italian restaurant we went out to on our first date and she responded by lunging across the table to throw her arms around me, spilling water across the tablecloth and getting red sauce on her blouse.

For Thanksgiving, we went to her folk's house so they could meet me. They'd evidently been a little concerned that Leanne was jumping too quickly into a rebound relationship and they had also worried some about my divorce. They stopped worrying when they saw us together and after Leanne explained, in private, the circumstances of my divorce. I was nervous, but I think I made a fairly good impression and by the end of the weekend her family was treating me like an old friend with her parents already asking about our plans for children.

Leanne and I didn't see the need for a long engagement and we got married in a pretty little country chapel on a crisp, snowy, February Saturday. It was a small, intimate wedding, attended by family and a few close friends. I had a tough time deciding on a best man, so Bill and Greg split the duties while Leanne's sister was the maid of honor. Both Julie and Sally were bridesmaids and, true to form, they'd practically taken over the preparation of the wedding, sweating the details that neither Leanne or I were particularly interested in. We flew to St. Thomas the day after our wedding and spent a very relaxing and memorable honeymoon there. We had such a good time that we promised each other we'd go back, maybe for our 10th anniversary.

Over the next couple of years, Leanne and I saved our money and eventually bought a house. It was a 4 bedroom fixer-upper with a nice porch and a sizeable yard with trees and a flower bed. On the day of the closing, Leanne announced she was pregnant and by the time we'd redone the inside of the house, we had a new baby boy to occupy the freshly painted nursery. Our lives changed with the birth of Tommy, but I couldn't be happier. We were becoming the family I had always wanted.



Not long after Tommy was born, there was a shooting at Gabriel's. It turned out that some guy's wife had gotten into the scene with one of Gabriel's friends and he didn't take it quite as phlegmatically as I had. He got a gun and, after shooting Jordy in the leg, marched through the house until he found his wife and her lover, both of whom he plugged before turning the gun on himself. I guess his wife lived and Jordy was ok, but the shooter and the lover both died. The trial was full of salacious details and, as you'd expect, became big news, even making headlines on the national broadcasts. I guess the Putnam family didn't care much for the publicity and they gave Gabriel an ultimatum, eventually making him sell the mansion and essentially exiling him back to the family compound in Ohio.

Around the time of the trial, I was at a party at Bill's house and I recognized Charles Taylor with his wife. I went over to say hi and he remembered me. We made some small talk and he seemed genuinely happy with the way things turned out for me. As I was about to step away, he smiled and asked what I thought about Palmer.

"Honestly haven't thought about him for a while. What do you mean?"

"Ah....well, I guess you haven't heard, but he got divorced."

"His wife finally dump him for cheating?"

"No, that's the funny thing. They had this....uh....open marriage and I guess she ultimately got tired of Palmer and fell in love with one of her boyfriends. Anyway, she had an iron-clad prenup so Palmer was SOL when she dumped him."

"So, what happened then? Did he and Megan....."

"No, I don't think so." He interrupted. "He had to leave town to find some work and I'm pretty sure he left alone. Turns out he has zero skill as a lawyer, which should surprise no-one. I think he's working a 9-5 job at his brother's hardware store in Pittsburgh. Kind of funny, huh?"

"Yeh, I guess it is. A bit of a step down, huh?"

Taylor laughed and gave me a wink. I was reminded what he'd said to me in his office the day of my divorce, and realized how right he was. Things didn't work out for my one-time rival and Megan and, while it was of interest, but I didn't need to know that to be happy. I had a family to care for and to love and that was really all that mattered to me.



I did see Megan again one last time around 3 years later. It was at a nursery and I was with my boy, who was sitting in a cart while I looked through some flowering plants. Leanne, who was around 7 months pregnant with our second child, was checking out some trees on the other side of the nursery. As I pushed the cart down a row of Lavender, Megan was on the far side of the aisle, browsing, holding a basket with some herbs. She hadn't changed that much, maybe put on a little weight, but really about the same. I saw her first, or at least I think I did, and called out to her. She looked up at me and smiled while I approached, pushing my cart.

"Hey Matt. Wow, it's been a long time. How are you?" Her smile quivered just a little as she looked at me, making her look more vulnerable than I ever remember seeing her. I smiled back, told her she looked great and said things were fine with me. She nodded and then turned and smiled at Tommy. "And who's this little guy?"

"This is my son Tommy. Tommy, can you say hi?" As usual he became a little shy and very quietly mumbled something that could be taken as a greeting.

"He's a cute little boy." She said smiling. "So, how are you Matt? What are you up to?"

We started talking a little about gardening and then caught up on how life was generally going. She was still at the same job making pretty much the same salary. She wasn't seeing anyone seriously and hadn't been for some time. I wasn't absolutely sure, but based on how she said things, I got the impression that her relationship with Palmer ended long before he had to leave town. She mentioned that Theresa had married Stuart, but I guess mutual commitment didn't quite work out for them and they got divorced within a year. After that Theresa moved in with Megan but they eventually stopped getting along, and she moved out after a few months. So now, Megan was living alone in a small, downtown apartment without much green space. She said she was shopping for herbs to put in a small window box and was jealous of the big garden I was planting.

As we finished talking, Leanne showed up and I introduced her. We chatted for a couple of more minutes and then we said goodbye and Leanne and I checked out and left for the car. But, as usual, Leanne forgot something and ran back into the store while I pulled the car up to the exit. A couple of minutes later, Leanne emerged and seemed a little bothered. I asked if she was upset, but she quickly put on a smile and shook her head no, claiming she was just trying to make sure we hadn't forgotten anything else. We went home and spent a typical spring day gardening and goofing off. Ultimately Tommy and Leanne and I ended up on our porch swing, drinking lemonade, smelling the lilacs and listening to the sounds of the neighborhood.

Leanne broke the silence.

"So, what did you and Megan talk about before I got there?"

"Nothing really, just gardening and stuff. I really didn't have all that much to say. It was a little awkward, really."

"You didn't say anything mean?"

"Of course not. Why would you ask that?" I was puzzled.

"Because, when I went back into the store, she was standing in the same aisle crying her eyes out. I had to sneak around her so she wouldn't see me. She seemed really upset."

I shrugged my shoulders in reply as I didn't know what to make of this. But as I thought on it, I remembered all the plans Megan and I had made when we got married. The plans to have a house with a garden and trees, to have an unbreakable relationship and to have a close, loving family and I thought maybe I understood why our conversation was so upsetting.

I remembered what Charles Taylor had told me years before about 'moving on' to the point that I wouldn't care whether Megan would regret her choices. I had eventually taken the advice and it had served me well, but it wasn't completely accurate that I didn't care at all about how things had turned out for her. I had moved on and loved my life with my wife and my son and my home. But as I looked out from my porch to my front lawn, my arm around Leanne, Tommy in my lap and the smell of lilacs wafting through the air, I realized what Megan was missing and had an inkling that she knew what she was missing too. I guess a truly caring and benevolent person wouldn't take any pleasure in the misfortune of another, but I couldn't help it. Megan had traded gold for plastic, throwing her dreams away for some short term excitement and hadn't been able to get them back. I pulled Leanne closer to me and smiled.