Golden Desire Ch. 05

"Nicholas, please..." she begged, twisting her head away and struggling to free herself from his hold.

He only continued to punish her mouth with his kiss, plunging his tongue into her mouth. His hands reached for the neckline of her gown and with a strong tug, pulled it down, tearing the fabric and exposing her breasts. She tried to cover herself, but he caught her wrists and pinned them to the wall above her head with one hand. With the other he roughly squeezed and caressed her soft flesh. He pulled her across the room and flung her down upon the bed.

She scrambled backwards, trying to get away from him, but he grabbed her ankle and pulled her back causing her skirts to ride up. He straddled her thighs, pinning her in place. "Don't you dare," he growled as she tried to hit him. He again grabbed her flailing fists and held them above her head. "I paid a handsome price for you and I expect to get my money's worth," he said before he bent down to again assault her lips with his own.

Even though she was thoroughly humiliated and scared, his kisses had an effect. She began to feel that familiar warmth growing in her belly and her mind began to cloud. She stopped struggling and when he released her wrists, her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him close.

His mouth moved to her throat, across her shoulders and down to her breasts. His tongue swirled around a hardened pink nipple as she gasped loudly and arched her back. Sliding his hand up the inside of her exposed thigh, he gently pulled away, and smiling at her, said, "Now that's more like it."

Suddenly her mind cleared, and it again hit her what the circumstances were and she renewed her struggles.

"Nicholas, stop, please stop," she begged, tears spilling down her face.

He sat up but didn't let her go. "Why? Would you be like this if I were just some anonymous miner, looking for a little company?" he asked.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what I expected, but I don't want to be with you like this. Not when you've had to pay for me," she said quietly.

Wiping away her tears, he said, "Come back to work for me."

She sighed, and said, sadly, "But with you I don't make enough money. I'll never be able to save enough to leave."

Rising, he got off the bed, letting her sit up. "Why do you want to leave? Why don't you stay?" he asked.

She was trying to cover herself with the torn dress and looked up, startled by his questions. "Stay?" she asked, incredulous. "Nicholas I want to live in a clean town, where I'm not constantly assaulted by gambling houses and bordellos. I want to have a family some day, and believe me, I am not going to raise children here. And who am I going to find to marry in a town full of transient miners?" Holding the bodice together with her hands, she shook her head. "No, this is not a place I want to be."

The fact that she had not even considered him, wounded him deeply, but he didn't let it show. "Come on," he gently urged, holding out his hand to her. "Come back to work for me and we'll see if we can't work something out, so that you can make enough money to leave," he said softly.

"Mr. Deacons won't be happy," she said.

"He got his money for you for tonight," he replied. Pulling back from her, he asked, "By the way, how much did he say you would get if someone wanted you for a whole night?"

"Fifty dollars," she replied.

"Only fifty? I paid a hundred and twenty-five!" he said.

"A hundred and twenty-five?" she asked, shocked. "He said he would charge seventy-five! That liar!"

"Well, then it's a good thing you're leaving. Come on, let's go," he said, opening the door for her.

Mr. Deacons was indeed angry when he saw Victoria leaving with Nicholas. "I knew I shouldn't have let you buy time with her! How dare you steal away my employees!" he shouted at them.

"He's not stealing me, I quit!" she shouted back. "You said you would only charge seventy-five dollars to someone who wanted a whole night, but you charged him a hundred and twenty-five!"

A couple of the girls' heads went up when they heard Victoria shouting. "You charge them how much?" one of them asked loudly.

"Good riddance to you!" Mr. Deacons shouted as he hurried into the safety of his office, frightened of the angry looks on the faces of the others girls.

When they arrived back at Nicholas' house, they walked up to the second floor and standing in the hallway, he said, "You can stay here tonight, if you like. You know your room is always there for you." He turned to his room when her voice stopped him.

"But Mr. Andrews, I believe you paid for a service tonight, one that has not yet been provided." She let go of her gown's bodice, letting the tear gape open.

Nicholas stared at the opening in her dress, seeing a pink nipple poking out from a frayed edge. He stepped close to her and gently stroked the torn fabric. "I'm sorry I ruined your gown," he whispered, staring at her exposed flesh.

"It's not my gown, it's yours," she whispered back with a smile. Watching his face, she arched her back, revealing more flesh.

"Is it repairable?" he asked, gripping one edge of the tear.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head, not taking her eyes off his.

He grabbed the other torn edge and ripped the dress off of her.

She gasped with delight as the fabric fell from her body. Her breasts heaving with her deep breaths, she stared at Nicholas with hungry eyes. "Well, sir, as a paying customer, what is your pleasure?"

He pulled her close to him and locked his lips on hers. She thought she might swoon at the passion his kiss held. One hand softly fell on her breast, gently tweaking the nipple.

She ground against him before he picked her up and carried her into his bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him.

Nicholas groaned and fell back on the sheets, the morning light dancing across his golden hair. She was gone again. He rose and only stopping to pull on a house coat, he walked out into the hall to find the door to her room open. It was empty and the bed had not been slept in. He sighed and running his fingers through his hair, he wondered, why won't she spend the night with me? "Why?" he asked aloud.

He wandered through the house, but she wasn't there. He walked back up to her room and sure enough, her day dress was gone. Returning downstairs, he saw his head housekeeper.

"Mrs. Rodriguez, did you happen to see Mrs. Somerset this morning?"

"No sir, however I was awoken by the sound of the front door this morning, just before dawn."

He sighed and tipping his head back, he stared at the ceiling and asked, "Why? Why won't she stay until morning?"

"Do you want an answer, sir?" the housekeeper asked.

Looking at her, he eagerly said, "If you have one, yes."

"Perhaps it would create too much of a bond," she suggested.

Confused, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, sir, Mrs. Somerset's husband passed away recently, did he not?" she asked.

"Yes, but..." he confirmed, his brow furrowed.

"Perhaps she is seeking comfort from you, but doesn't want to create a strong emotional connection. So she takes the comfort, the distraction from her pain." Shrugging her shoulders, she added, "The tenderness that would exist upon waking together, perhaps that is not what she seeks."

Nicholas stared at the older woman, comprehension slowly coming to him. "Thank you, Mrs. Rodriguez," he said, absent mindedly, turning and walking back up the stairs. He rolled her words over in his mind as he thought about his encounters with Victoria. The first had been her curiosity, the second to soothe her grief, the third was purely lust, and last night had again been lust. They had never been tenderly emotional. There had been no murmurs of love, only gasps and moans of pleasure.

He returned to his room to prepare for the day, washing and dressing, but still thinking about what he should do. Should I tell her how I feel? Or should I just let her go and try to forget her? She won't stay, no matter what I tell her. He arrived at the site of the new gambling house only to find that the carpenters had not shown up yet again. He was soon immersed in the project and his problems with Victoria were swept away.

Victoria woke in her room at the hotel and she stretched leisurely. Smiling, she thought back to last night. It certainly had been dramatic. She had been a prostitute for one night, had had a dress ripped off of her and had spent the most passionate yet of nights in Nicholas' bed. Also, he had said that they would work out a way for her to get the money to leave. She was eager to see him later and find out what he had in mind.

But first she wanted to find out about other places she could go. She had heard stories about how dangerous it could be traveling across the country and she recalled Nicholas telling her that there were some towns up north that were beginning to grow. She washed and dressed and headed to the station to check on fares.

She spoke with a coach driver about some of the towns and a place called Oregon City seemed the most promising. Not too dangerous to get to and much cheaper than Albany. It would only cost her one hundred and fifty dollars.

After her shift at the gambling house was over, she returned to Nicholas' to change her clothes. He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hello, Nicholas," she said, greeting him with a smile.

"Good evening," he replied, not returning her smile.

Worried at his glum manner, she asked, "Is everything alright?"

Instead of answering her question, he said, "Please come into the drawing room, I want to talk to you about something."

She followed him, worried about this strange mood he was in. He seemed unhappy and nervous. She was suddenly afraid, maybe he had met someone else and was no longer willing to help her. Maybe he was going to tell her she was on her own now. Growing nervous herself, she sat when he invited and looked at him expectantly.

Without sitting he withdrew a thick envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket. He handed it to her.

She stared at him a moment, as he sat down, not looking at her. She opened it to find it full of money.

"That's eight hundred dollars. The money you need to get home plus some extra. If you want to go so badly that you would resort to prostitution, well, I would rather give you the money than see you go through that." His voice was low and he still wouldn't look at her.

"I don't need this much," she replied. "I've decided to go to Oregon City instead. The fare is only one hundred and fifty dollars, so you can have most of this back."

"Keep it," he said, still staring at his hands.

"Nicholas, what's wrong? Why won't you look at me?" she asked.

Finally meeting her gaze, she was surprised by the pain she saw in the green depths.

"Stay Victoria, please don't go," he pleaded.

She fingered the money in her hand. She had gotten what she wanted from him, why would she stay? She looked again into his eyes and knew she couldn't be so cruel as to say something like that to him. Tenderly, she said, "I'm sorry Nicholas, but I told you before, I want to go somewhere new, somewhere I can start fresh and raise a family. There's nothing here for me."

"Nothing?" he asked, his voice hoarse. "What about me? Do I mean nothing to you?"

"You? You want me to stay here because of you? A man who lured me into adultery for his own amusement, for the benefit of his own ego?" she snapped.

His anger rising at her taunting, he replied, "I told you it wasn't like that! I haven't been with another woman since you."

"Oh, lucky me," she sneered. "So what do I mean to you? Except for taking me to bed, you've never once expressed or demonstrated any emotional attachment to me whatsoever."

"Never demonstrated?" he asked, clearly stunned by her accusation. "I dragged you out of that low class brothel, didn't I?"

"Only because you didn't want to see your private playground opened to the public!" she nearly shouted at him.

He knew the time was now, he either said it or let her go. He took a deep breath and opening his mouth, the words just came out, "No. The reason I did it is because I love you. I realized it while you were staying here."

"Why didn't you say something?" she asked quietly, her anger dissipating.

"The time was never right," he replied. "But I'm saying it now and I'm asking you to stay. Please." Seeing her hesitation, he rushed on, saying, "I know that you don't like San Francisco, that it's dirty and immoral. But it won't always be like this. In a few years the gold will run out and the miners will be gone. Then it will be a nice place."

"And who will stay in your hotels, Nicholas? Who will visit your gambling houses?" She sadly shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I've had enough of financial instability." Seeing the hurt in his eyes, she continued, "You'll always be the greatest passion of my life, you've made me feel things I never thought I could. But it's time to find a nice, boring, stable man and begin my life again."

She reached out and gently stroked his cheek. "Thank you for all you've done for me. I'll never forget you." Placing a brief kiss on his lips, she whispered, "Goodbye Mikolaj." She then turned and left the room, walking out the front door.

Nicholas dropped his head in his hands and for the first time since his parents had died, he wept.

She left the next day on a stage bound for Oregon City. He stood watching it from a distance and swore he could feel his heart breaking.