Gone Country

"Henry, I know you were on the road for a long time. Would you like to...I mean, can we, one more time?"

I may have been devastated, but I wasn't stupid. But I did make her shower first. And just before I left she gave me one more thing to think about: "If you ever need to, you know, relieve your needs, Henry, I'm always available to you. You were the best I've ever had."

*****

As my set continued the dance floor stayed busy. The place was full tonight and the crowd was responsive. Plenty of people singing along and having a good time doing it. Even the merchandise table, which was manned on any given night by one of the girlfriends of the guys in the band, seemed to be doing decent business. It was a good night and it was having an effect on my melancholy mood.

We announced our second break of the night and I went backstage to take a rest and grab some water while the guys went for some beer. I was never much of a drinker and gave it up completely on my 31^st birthday. It just didn't interest me anymore, and I strongly suspect that has something to do with the events of that particular evening.

*****

I was seeing a woman named Janet at this point. She was something of a free spirit, which was something I felt I needed at that point in my life and I had really developed strong feelings for her; again, not for marriage, but as strong as I was capable of otherwise. She was so much fun and seemed to be really pulling me out of my years-long funk. She had been a friend of a friend of one of the guys in the band and they set us up on a blind date. Against the long odds for this kind of thing, we really hit it off. We had been together about 9 months at this point. Like Allison, I did not actually live with her but we had keys to each other's apartments and I had plenty of stuff at her place.

Physically, Janet was also quite a bit different from either Allison or Kelly. Janet was nearly 6 feet tall, with really large (like DD) breasts. She was also plumper than Allie or Kelly, who were both slim and athletically built (though Allie had that amazing booty). Janet was much rounder in the middle, with thicker thighs. She did shave her legs and pits but left her pubic hair completely alone, and it was brown and thick.

Our friends were holding a 31^st birthday party for me at one of the clubs we played so frequently. They had scheduled it for a Tuesday night, typically one of the slowest nights for a club. The owners let them rent the place out for a very reasonable price.

I had seen Janet early on in the evening and she was enjoying her drinks, but by now it been an hour or so since I had last laid eyes on her. Normally this would not be an issue as she was very social but it was my birthday and I wanted to spend my time with her. Yeah, I know.

And so I went looking for her. These clubs have a myriad of rooms and corners and offices and closets in the back of house portion, all with a particular use. Many of them have a small room with a cheap bed in it that is used for a variety of reasons. usually it's either to have a drunk sleep it off (though often only if they're a regular), give an employee a place to rest and take a break, or most commonly as a place for the owner to crash when he's fighting with his or her spouse. It is what it is.

On this particular evening it was, as you have probably guessed by now, hosting my very drunk girlfriend and two (yes, two) of our fellow party-goers, neither of which I knew or recalled having seen before. Friends of friends, I imagined.

One of the dipwads had the nerve to say: "Hey pal, you can have a turn but you gotta wait until we're done."

As I was snapping a few pictures on my phone (because I didn't think she'd remember much of this), Janet made the supreme effort to remove the cock she was sucking on out of her mouth to see who the guy was talking to, and when she saw me my heart almost warmed a bit when she made it clear who I was.

"Hey guys, that's my boyfriend. He goes to the front of the line."

Gee, I was honored.

The guys currently impaling their poles in her holes suddenly looked very nervous and also suddenly had someplace to go. Janet looked at me through her drunken haze after they left and said: "Guess it's just you and me, baby."

I tried to talk to her but she was rapidly becoming incoherent and was soon out. I lowered her onto the bed and left her lying there naked, though I locked the door so she wouldn't be taken advantage of. I made a few more rounds at the party, confident she was out of it for a while, then went to her place and collected my things. I also texted the pictures I had taken to her, as my way of explaining why she and I were no longer together, in case her memory failed her in the morning.

She tried to make her apologies. She was drunk, she didn't mean it, she loves me, etc. I listened to her, assured her I believed her and forgave her, but also made it clear I couldn't go forward with her. I couldn't forget. I haven't had a drink since that night.

*****

It was getting late. The crowd had thinned a bit but it was still fairly full. The girls working the booth were still trying to drum up some business (God bless them) and the dancing had slowed to next to nothing. Most people were just relaxing and enjoying the music, and I noticed a few people at the bar still trying to score a last minute hook-up. As usual I assumed I had nothing to look forward to except another lonely night in the RV.

I was deep into my final set when I saw her walk out of the shadows and sit down front. It was my dream coming true. I was playing some of my best songs as the night was coming to an end, and there she was looking me right in the eyes and smiling like she was just as proud of me as any person could be.

Kelly.

I recognized her immediately. She had barely changed. My voice started to crack under the emotion I was suddenly feeling. I hadn't seen her since just after the divorce was final. We had gotten together one last time then, just to say goodbye. I had heard that she moved somewhere out west soon after we went final, but that was the extent of my knowledge.

I set the boys on an extended jam while I composed myself enough to the point where I could continue to sing. It took a few minutes but I finally made it. I actually looked her way a couple of times to ensure it wasn't some hallucination brought on by my ruminations this evening. If it was, it was the most real and persistent hallucination ever. Each time she caught my eyes and flashed me her beautiful smile. It was definitely her and she seemed damn happy to see me.

The boys at some point realized who I was looking at but, while I had talked about Kelly plenty (I promise you that), they had never met her so didn't know exactly what was going on. But they did figure out that this woman was the cause of whatever it was that affected me.

As our night of music came to an end the place erupted in applause and we left the stage feeling good about our effort that evening. As we started to clear the stage, Keith came over to me.

"We got this, boss. Go talk to her." I nearly broke down right there.

I handed him my guitar. "Thanks boys. You guys are the best."

I stepped off of the stage and walked over to her. She hadn't moved since the show came to an end, but stood as I approached her chair. Her eyes were getting misty and I felt mine doing the same.

"Hello, Henry."

She pulled me into a hug with her. I didn't want to let go but I finally did.

"Kelly Conrad. I can't believe it's really you."

"Actually, Henry, it's still Weston. Buy a girl a drink?"

"I don't think so." She was briefly taken aback. "Actually, I'm pretty hungry; how about something to eat instead?"

"I'd like that."

I checked in with the boys and they assured me they had the tear-down covered and to do what I needed to do. Eddie (the bass player) asked the question they were all thinking: "Is that Kelly?" I nodded. "You're right, boss. She's beautiful. Good luck."

I returned to Kelly and she took my arm as we walked out of the club. We made our way in silence to an all-night diner just a couple blocks away. We stayed quiet until we were seated, perused the menus, and each ordered a light breakfast. We were both nervous about starting the conversation but it had to be done.

"How've you been, Kell?"

"I've been all right, Henry. You?"

"Same as ever; just older. You look good, and even more beautiful than when we were married."

"Thank you, Henry. You always did make me feel good about myself. You look well yourself. You're keeping in shape nicely."

"I try to get my exercise in every day. It's becoming harder and more necessary as 40 approaches."

"Believe me, I understand that." She paused. "You sound great. I heard about it a few years ago when you finally decided to front your own band. I knew you would one day."

"Yeah, I got tired of being at the whims of someone else. It's much harder being 'the guy' but it's worth it. Where've you been living? I had heard you moved out West somewhere."

"Arizona: Tucson, to be exact. I was able to get a job out there. After we finalized I just couldn't stay in the same town as you. I went west because I knew you almost never toured out there and it would have broken my heart all over again to see you."

"So things didn't work out with, what was him name. Bo?"

"I told you I didn't feel for him like I did you. He was a nice guy and he helped support me - emotionally, I mean - through the divorce, but I left almost right away. We never even...well, you know. I felt bad. He waited patiently for me all that time but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I still felt like I was cheating on you; weird, huh?"

"Not at all; frankly, I was the same way. It was a long time before I could again, and it was more out of necessity than anything else. I wasn't into it at all."

"I know you had a couple serious girls." I gave her a questioning look. "I still had friends here, Henry. I asked them to keep me up to date on how and what you were doing. That's how I knew when you went solo, too."

"Yeah, I tried a couple of times. They were both screwing around on me in one way or another. After Janet I decided that love was just not in the cards for me."

"You never know, Henry. Sometimes when you least expect it..."

"I suppose you may be right."

There was a break as the food was served and we each took a couple of bites. She spoke first this time.

"So, No Hard Feelings; that's about me, isn't it?"

"It is. You're the only one that ever made me feel that passionate and emotional, both good and bad."

"I'm sorry, Henry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Please don't apologize, Kell. You have nothing to be sorry for. I've never once regretted meeting or marrying you. I had it perfect for a while. Some nights it's the memory of our time together that keeps me going. You did what you needed to do. 'Tis better to have loved and lost', as they say."

We paused for a few more bites. I continued. "You never changed your last name after the divorce?"

"You expected me to?"

"I guess I thought you'd go back to your maiden name, or change it when you got remarried."

"I never remarried, Henry. You're still my one and only partner on that particular adventure."

"That surprises me. You're such a wonderful person, Kelly. How can you not have found someone to marry?"

"Oh, there were opportunities. I dated some guys pretty seriously, and two of them even proposed but I couldn't bring myself to say yes."

"Why not? You deserve to be happy."

She looked at me like I should already know.

"Because they weren't you, Henry. Every guy I dated got compared to you, and they came up short every time, in one way or the other."

I could certainly relate to that. I was mostly aware that my relationships with Allie and Janet never reached the heights they could have simply because neither of them was Kelly.

She continued. "I've never stopped loving you, Henry. I came here tonight...I wanted...Henry, I'm here to see if, well, to see if we could try again."

I had to make a conscious effort not to leap across the table to hug and kiss her. As much as I wanted to, logic and control needed to dictate the pace, at least for the moment.

"I've always loved you, Kell. I always will. But my life is still the same. I'm on the road or playing gigs 75% of the year. I don't even have an apartment; I live in an RV. It's still the same life that was so hard on you back then. Nothing's changed."

"Yes it has, Henry. I've changed. I've never been really, truly happy since I left you. I've had times when things were better than others, but I've never come close to the happiness I had from just being with you. And I felt it again when I walked in the club tonight and saw you. It took me 15 lost years for us but I finally realized that the only thing I want, that I need, is you."

I was getting emotional. "Kelly, I..."

"I'll keep a good home for you, Henry. We'll travel together in the RV. I'll come to all your shows. I'll cook and clean for you. I'll go wherever you go. I'll show you every single night in bed just how much I love you. I want you, Henry. I want our babies. I can live any way I have to as long as I have you. Please don't tell me no."

All my doubts and defenses were gone. It was time to take one more chance. After all, she was the only one I had ever really wanted. I slid out of the booth, her wide blue eyes watching my every move, and knelt before her.

"Kelly Weston, will you marry me...again?"

"Yes, baby, I will."

We were both in tears as we wrapped our arms around each other. The other 6 patrons in the diner plus the waitress all showed their appreciation with applause.

We paid the tab and walked back to my RV. We climbed into the queen-sized loft bed and got started on those babies.

*****

Epilogue

Four years have passed since that fateful night. Kelly and I are both 40 now. Our schedule hasn't slowed down, in terms of performing. The band is still with me, with the exception of Troy, my former 2^nd guitarist, who has gone out on his own. He's very talented and I think he'll do well.

Emily just turned 3 and is quite the handful. Lucy is 14 months old and the sisters are already best friends. Emily calls her 'my baby'. Kelly had her tubes tied after Lucy was born, mostly because another baby would have made the RV just too crowded.

Life in the RV is cramped and hectic, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I have my 3 best girls with me most every minute of every day. I've actually released a couple albums nationally and they've sold moderately well. I'm no Garth Brooks but few are. I've been able to provide a good living for my family and we're happy. The kids are getting quite an education by traveling all over the country, and will be home-schooled (RV-schooled?) by Kelly when they come of age.

I've been putting as much money away as I can. I'm trying to follow Hal's example and be able to set down roots sometime to the point where I can l live off my investments and perform as I want. We're not there yet, and won't be anytime soon, but we're making progress every day. But ultimately, no matter what else happens, I have the only things I really, truly need: my kids, and my soul mate.

*****

fin