Gone in Sixty Minutes

"There's no maybe," I snapped. "If you and I broke up and you were looking for me, like you said you would..."

"Paul, trust me," she said. "You're not getting away from me for any reason. I'm not going to do something dumb to lose you over either."

"But, let's say that we had a misunderstanding..." I began.

"Like the one we had this afternoon," she said. I nodded.

"If you were supposedly out looking for me, because you wanted us to get back together; would you be running around kissing and doing God knows what else with every guy you met on the beach?" I asked.

"I guess you're right," she said, squeezing my hand. "I just thought she was friendly."

"I know I'm right," I said. "And let me tell you Honey, no guy wants to be with a woman who's friendly. We'll fuck them. We'll be friendly with them too, but we're not going to be in any kind of a relationship with them. They always end up hooking up with some guy from outside of their crowd who didn't know they were "Friendly."

"Besides," I said, as she put her feet up on the swing and snuggled up against me. "Michelle isn't just friendly; she's a flat out slut."

Shasta sat up a stared at me. Even with the only light there provided by the hunter's moon I could see how big her eyes had gotten. "You know her from somewhere don't you?" she asked.

"Remember the guy she's looking for?" I asked. And she nodded her pretty head which caused all of that wild hair to splay about her shoulders. It was a sight that I never tired of watching.

"Remember the loser, as you called him, who ran out on her?" I asked. "I'm him."

"No you're not," she said, practically purring as she squeezed my arm and snuggled even further into my side. "Stop joking Paul."

I sat up and straightened her up too.

"Her full name is Michelle Holly Williams," I said. "She and I are the same age. We grew up only two doors down from each other in Grayling, Michigan. We got married when I finished college. We were married for fourteen years. We lived in Grayling and I drove to work in Saginaw every day. That commute took me almost two hours one way every morning and every evening. I left the house at five in the morning so I could be to work by seven a.m. I got off at three thirty and was usually home by five or five thirty depending on traffic. The drive was a little over a hundred miles one way."

"I suggested moving downstate a couple of times, but Michelle never wanted to leave the area because all of our friends lived there. I don't know why I never figured it out. It took me fourteen years to figure out just how God damned "friendly" Michelle was. Sure, there'd been a couple of drunken incidents where she kissed some guy or let a guy feel on her boobs, but for the most part, I thought we loved each other. I believed that all the way until the day that the power went out in the plant and I got home two hours early. I drove into my driveway and walked into the house to find one of my neighbors sitting in my living room looking nervous as hell."

"The first thought that went through my mind as I went into my bedroom to find Michelle opening the windows and trying to arrange her clothes was, "What would I have found if my car's exhaust system wasn't so loud?"

"Steve left and Michelle just looked at me. She asked me why I was home so early and I told her about the black out. Another of my neighbors, Jim, stopped by while we were talking. He seemed surprised to see me too. He asked to borrow our lawn mower and I told him it was in the shed. Michelle got upset about that."

"Why do you just let people use any of our stuff that they want? Jim is never going to get his own fucking lawn mower if he can borrow ours every week," she said.

"I only let them borrow things that don't matter," I said.

"Michelle went ahead and made dinner. We ate and then I went out for my run. After I ran, we went down to the lake and watched the stars. I asked Michelle that night if she was happy with our life and she said she was. So happy, in fact, that she started kissing me. I could tell she was expecting us to have sex there in front of the lake. I guess she should expect that because we'd done it literally hundreds of times. She even started making some noises that maybe it was time. We were in our mid-thirties so maybe it was time for us to start having kids. I pretended I was too tired."

"I left work early the next day too. I found myself a divorce lawyer in Saginaw near the plant and told him to start the process. I just wanted a simple no-fault divorce. I'd go my way and she could go hers. The paper work wasn't that complicated and it only took a few days for him to get them ready. I didn't think Michelle was stupid either. I waited a couple of weeks during which time I never varied from the usual pattern. I wanted to let her sink back into her own pattern. So, roughly three weeks from the day of my initial suspicion, I left work three hours early. I parked about a mile away from home in the strip mall and ran home through the woods."

"I walked up to my door which wasn't locked and went into my house as quietly as I could. I stood there with my phone out and just put it down on the end table to record the proceedings. Michelle was lying on her stomach on the rug in front of our fireplace while Steve grunted away at her. He was reaching under her and squeezing her tits, she loves that, as he fucked her. Michelle was just lying there taking it. She was pumping her ass into him with each stroke. It wasn't wild and crazy like you always hear about from cheaters. It wasn't energetic or gymnastic. It was just a man fucking a woman."

"I think that realistically, that hurt me more than anything else. If they'd been humping each other like crazy, I might've believed that they hadn't been doing this for long and that maybe it had started as some drunken thing and they'd just got caught up in the excitement of it. Maybe the thrill of cheating made it more exciting or some bullshit like that. But the fact that they were so casual about it, led me to believe that they'd been doing this for years and it didn't mean much to them."

"It was almost anticlimactic when Steve shot his nut off into a condom and flopped down on her broad back."

"Okay, you're done," she'd told him. "Get out of here in case Paul comes home early again."

"Why are you so God damned cranky?" he asked.

"He hasn't had sex with me since that last time he came home early," she said. "I think he suspects something." Even as she said it she looked up and our eyes met. "Oh no," she said quietly.

"Steve's head turned almost in slow motion until his eyes met mine too."

"I'm really sorry buddy," he said. "I don't even know what to say."

"Whatever it is, just say it to Callie," I said.

"Paul, we don't really have to get her involved in this, do we?" he whined. "This will just about kill her."

"Steve, just get dressed and get out," I said. "Michelle and I have to talk and I have to pack." I picked my phone up from the table and stopped the recording. Steve picked up his clothes and as he came near me, I struck. I punched him in the side of his jaw as hard as I could."

"There was a popping sound and pain shot through my hand. Steve was laid out on the floor like a pole axed ox in front of me. I called 911 and had them send an ambulance. I shook my hand vigorously hoping the pain would go away. Except for a gut shot on a guy at a picnic, I hadn't actually hit anyone since middle school, and my hand hurt like hell."

"Steve came to before the ambulance got there. He was sitting up and pain went through him every time he tried to talk. My hand was swollen too. Michelle just sat there staring and shaking her head. I called Callie and explained everything to her. She broke down over the phone and said she wouldn't come to the hospital and to tell Steve to find another place to live. I suggested that she use the same lawyer I was using if she wanted to divorce him. That way it would be cheaper for her because all of the research and all of the evidence in the case had been handled."

"As I started talking about the divorce, Michelle stood up and started crying. I went into the kitchen to get some ice for my hand. I think Michelle had been in shock for the whole time because she hadn't even bothered to put any clothes on. Callie and I were on the phone for over an hour. Part of it was me trying to let her know that none of this was our fault. I told her that she was the victim in all of this. All she did was work her ass off providing for Steve's lazy ass. She was still an attractive woman and she'd find a better man. She'd find a guy with a job who'd treat her the way she deserved. I think we were both in a better mood when we hung up."

"Michelle tried to apologize to me, but I wasn't ready to either hear it or to speak to her. I went out to my car and brought back the folder with the divorce papers. I gave them to her and asked her to sign them and she looked at me like I was crazy."

"Paul, you can't be serious," she said. "This is the first time I've done anything like this. We've been married for fourteen years. You can't seriously want to just throw all of that away over nothing. I know you're hurt, but I don't think you're thinking clearly. I love you. You love me. We've been talking about having a baby. This will blow over and it won't ever happen again. Everyone deserves a second chance."

"Michelle, stop lying," I spat. "This didn't just happen. It's been going on for a long time. You just got sloppy because its been going on for so long without you getting caught. I knew what was going on three weeks ago when I came home for the blackout. So I waited until you got sloppy again. You said it yourself. You told Steve that you thought I suspected something because I didn't want to have sex with your nasty ass."

"So for the past month, you've known this was going on?" she asked. I nodded. "Then why didn't you say something. No wonder we haven't had sex. You just let him continue to fuck me. You should have said something so we could work this out. I've been feeling bad and guilty ever since that day."

"You just didn't feel guilty enough to stop, right?" I asked. She hung her head and started crying again. "And as far as me saying something; I already told you, I only let people use things that don't matter."

"At that time I was driving an 04 Mustang GT with almost two hundred thousand miles on it. I got into the car and drove away from the house. I went into town and had a nice meal at a restaurant there. I heard a couple of my friends talking already about Steve having surgery on his jaw. They were laughing about it. I guess the gossip was already spreading all over town."

"When I got home it was about seven p.m. Michelle was waiting for me and she wasn't alone. Her parents were there and they'd brought the minister from the local church along."

"Her dad came right up to me and told me that they were there to talk to me about saving my marriage. I just laughed and walked into the house. The Reverend asked me to sit down and pray with him for a few minutes. I looked at him like he had rocks in his head. I recognized the technique from first year psychology in college. When you go into a new and possibly hostile environment, you have to try as much as possible to turn it into neutral ground and give yourself if not an advantage, at least equal footing with your opponent."

"A group prayer would turn my house into far more neutral territory, and the Reverend presiding over the prayer would mark him as an authority figure in this situation."

"No thanks," I said. "Why are you here?"

"Well Mr. and Mrs. Williams told me that you and Michelle have been having some problems in your marriage. They also told me that through me, the Lord might intercede and put you two fine young people back on the path towards marital bliss."

"Nope," I said and walked into the bedroom to start packing.

"Uhm, Son, What do you mean, "Nope," he asked.

"Michelle and her parents were gobsmacked. This hadn't been going the way they expected at all. As I started emptying my drawers, her father had reached his breaking point."

"Paul, will you stop doing that and at least give us enough courtesy to sit down and talk like a civilized person?" he yelled.

"I dropped the bundle of clothes I had into the suitcase and sat on the bed. I looked at Michelle, and then each of her parents. I looked at the Reverend last."

"I can spare you five minutes," I said coldly.

"You've been married for fourteen years," said my mother in law. "Surely..."

"There's a movie called gone in sixty seconds," I said. "In it, Nicholas Cage was a car thief. The movie was about stealing cars. He was so good that he could steal any car regardless of make or security system in less than sixty seconds."

"My plan here is similar," I said. "I want to get the fuck out of here and this part of my life as quickly as possible. I can't do sixty seconds, but I can make sixty minutes for damned sure. For the past fourteen years I have loved and supported your daughter. I loved her until three weeks ago today when I found out that she was cheating on me."

"Both of Michelle's parents gasped loudly, which let me know that she hadn't told them the whole story."

"The whole house smelled like sex, there was a guy, one of my former friends, in my living room trying to pretend that he'd just dropped by. Michelle was in my bedroom trying to open the windows and let the room air out. I didn't say anything then because I had no proof. I gave her enough rope to hang herself. I waited until she thought she was safe and then I came home early today."

"I pulled out my phone, opened up the video and played it for them."

"This is what I found when I got home," I said.

"Michelle's mother looked away. Her father got angry. I could tell that he felt like a fool. He'd come into the situation trying to save his little girl only to find out that he'd been lied to. The Reverend told me that I could stop the video."

"The question here isn't who is at fault," he said. "We knew coming in here that there was a problem. We now know more about the problem. What we have to figure out is how to solve the problem. We also need to know the root cause of the problem. What made a woman who loves you so much that she wants to try to save her marriage do something like this? We are all human, my son. We are all subject to temptation."

"The clock is ticking Father," I said. "So let's wrap this up. The party of the first part: that would be me; is offering a quickie no-fault divorce. We would split everything fifty/fifty. Michelle can keep the house. It is paid for. She keeps her car, I keep mine. Our cash and investments would be split fifty/fifty after subtracting the value of the house. In other words, she gets the house, her car and some money. I get the fuck out of Dodge. If she signs the papers right now, there's no need to go to court. I leave town for better places and to start my life over. It's great for everyone."

"If we don't do it that way, then this gets nasty. We have a very public, small town divorce where I file under infidelity. Her reputation and her family's are destroyed, and we still end up splitting everything because no matter what judge we get, Michigan is a community property state."

"But Paul, what if I don't want a divorce," said Michelle. "What if I love you and want to stay married to you?"

"Then you shouldn't have been spreading your legs for Steve and whomever else you were fucking," I said.

"This isn't what I want," said Michelle, as she angrily scratched her name on the papers. "And I'm going to give you some time to lick your wounds for a while. I know I was wrong and I hurt you. But I love you Paul and I'm going to get you back."

"As soon as Michelle handed me the papers back, she started trying to talk to me about us starting all over. Maybe we could go back to the beginning and try dating again."

"I laughed and the mental clock in my mind was at forty nine minutes since I'd begun packing."

"Her parents stood in front of me wringing their hands and looking sad, but the clock was at fifty three minutes. The Reverend offered to pray for me. His words struck me in the back as the clock hit fifty six minutes. The angry sound of my hopped up V8 rent the evening sky and I released the parking brake at fifty eight minutes and fourteen seconds. By fifty nine minutes, I was already barreling down the road towards my new life and I haven't gone back since."

"For a while, I kept up with what was going on in town and with Michelle. Callie divorced Steve and he pretty much became homeless. He was the town bum for a while and then he just disappeared. No one really knows what happened to him. Michelle was depressed for a few weeks and then she started partying like crazy. It took her a year or two to drink and fuck her way through all of the money. She pretty much became the town slut. No one with any self-respect would even be caught dead with her. Most of the guys would occasionally visit her on weekend nights, but during the day, if she walked down the street they crossed to the other side. I lost track of her after that."

"You see, I really didn't need to know what was going on in her life. I'd gotten to the point about two years ago where I didn't really care what was in my rear view mirror anymore. My life was beside me and ahead of me. About a month after I'd left Michigan, heading south, I'd walked into a bar in Tennessee and my life changed. I'd walked in there depressed and not trusting anyone. I drove away from there still depressed but optimistic. Well...hopeful at least. I've never looked back since," I said.

"Well..." said Shasta. "What was responsible for this big change in your life?" She batted those huge eyes at me and smiled. She knew that was when I'd met HER.

"Maybe you should have a little bit of faith in her...whoever she is. Maybe she feels the same way about you. Maybe, now that she knows what happened, she understands why you're so paranoid. But I have to be honest with you, Paul. You hurt her really badly today. Because, being purely hypothetical, in the four years that you've been with this new girl, she has never once even thought about cheating on you. There haven't been any drunken episodes for her. If you had even watched for ten seconds, you'd have seen her move that guy's arm from her shoulder. His arm felt like it burned my shoulder...I mean her shoulder. It just didn't belong there." She looked at me and I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"It really hurt her that you could so coldly just throw away the past four years and her whole future with the man she loves without even giving her a chance to explain. And there's a part of her that wonders how you could have just divorced Michelle after all of that time without talking to her either. Didn't you want to know why she did it?"

"No," I said coldly. "Why she did it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is THAT she did it. She cheated on me. She broke our marriage vows. The marriage vows are like a contract. If you break the contract, it is null and void. The reasons she broke the contract didn't matter. Maybe it might've eased her soul a little bit to have the chance to explain what happened. Well...fuck her soul. She did it, so our marriage was over. I've read all of the stories on the internet. I've heard all of the reasons and none of them matter. She cheated...we ended it; case closed."

"Well, you still seem to be really bitter towards her," she said. "Maybe closure would make you feel better."

"I don't need closure," I smiled. "I hadn't even thought about that fat whore until I saw her on the beach. She is no longer a part of my life, so her reasons and motivations don't matter. She's just not the kind of person you can trust."