Gone in Sixty Minutes

I looked into the ladies room and it was empty. There was a guy standing in front of the men's room. "It's full," he said. I nodded and turned like I was leaving. Then I turned back towards him and stomped on his foot as hard as I could. I felt bones give way and he howled. I slammed my beer into the side of his head and he was out of it.

I yanked open the door and saw Shasta there, surrounded by three guys. "No," she kept saying as they tried to touch her or grab her.

"Shit, how much of that shit does it take to put her under?" asked one of the guys. "Michelle wants this bitch fucked."

"It will take a lot more of it than you have," I said. They looked at me stupidly. I stuck my head back outside into the bar and yelled "Call the police," to the big guy behind the bar. He handed the phone to one of the women out there and then jumped over the bar with a baseball bat and asked me what the problem was.

He came into the bathroom and I pointed out the three guys and Shazz. "They drugged her and dragged her in here," I said. "I guess my ex-wife Michelle wanted to have me to herself for a while."

He started swinging the baseball bat towards them and called out into the bar. Two other guys came into the bathroom and he whispered to them. They went out and got Michelle just as she was trying to run out of the bar. When the police got there, we all went down to the station. The three guys all ratted Michelle out. She'd put them up to it. She paid them to try to have sex with Shazz and film it so she'd have something to show me to prove that Shazz was a slut too. Michelle had given Shazz the drugs in her beer.

Each of the three guys got six months. The judge thought that even though they hadn't actually done anything, since I stopped them, they needed a kick in the ass to set them on the straight and narrow. Michelle, on the other hand, no longer had to worry about finding a place to stay. She was a guest of the state for the next 5 to 7 years. Since she is serving out her sentence in a nearby women's prison, I go by every few weeks to gloat and tease her.

A few weeks later, things changed in my life too. I woke up one morning and Shasta wasn't smiling. She held up her left fist to me with one finger extended. Nope, it wasn't that finger. It was the one next to it. "I want you to take the day off from work today," she said. "I called Larry and he's fine with it. By sundown, there needs to be a ring on this finger."

I looked at her and nodded my head. "You mean it," she said.

"Yes Shazz," I said. "It's time we got married."

I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. "Wait a minute," she said. "You have all day. I'll even go with you but it doesn't take the whole day to pick out a ring." She dove on me knocking me back onto the bed and started kissing me. She got me all worked up by licking and sucking the end of my dick, before plunging her mouth as far down the shaft as she could go. She spit it out and a trail of spit hung from her lips to the head of my dick. She reached down and licked my balls and I almost came then.

"Shit," she said, suddenly jumping out of the bed. "I almost forgot." She reached into the drawer and got out her packet of birth control pills. She dropped the whole container into the trash.

"Where were we," she said, smiling evilly.

I ended up talking to Larry then and we bought the house we were living in. Five years, three kids and a dog later we're still happy and Michelle is still in jail.

I couldn't get out of my life in sixty days now, let alone sixty minutes, but I couldn't be happier.

The end.