Grandma's Will


But she wasn't going to say this directly to Grandma -- why raise trouble where you didn't need to? Anyway, it wasn't like she'd made her mind up yet. And whatever she did, Grandma wouldn't be around to see it.

But her grandma wasn't born yesterday.

"Dear, I can see that you're not sure you're going to do it."

Steph kind of half nodded.

"I thought that might be the case. So to make sure, first, there's a little matter of what Michelle might say that might embarrass you."

Steph gave her Grandma a long look. It would not do to underestimate this woman, no matter how old and frail her body might be. Her cousin Michelle had sworn to keep those few drug-fuelled encounters between them a secret, and Steph had really thought she would. How had Grandma found out? Who else knew?

"But there's also the matter of the inheritance. As executor, you can't really get an unequal amount of the estate. But it's not very substantial anyway. By the time it gets split up amongst the family, it's hardly enough to get drunk on."

"But there's Grandpa's other money. See, dear, raping me wasn't his only criminal activity. There's some other money in a bank somewhere, which isn't part of the inheritance. It's earmarked for charity. But my lawyer knows exactly what I've asked you to do, and if you do, then you'll get the money instead."

Ho hum, Steph nodded, uncaring at this point. Whatever. She wasn't going to sell out.

Her grandma smiled. "It's just over a million dollars."


A million dollars is a lot of money. Steph thought about that, and how much difference it would make to her life.

It wasn't a hard decision. For that amount of money, Steph would happily ... well, she'd metaphorically spread her legs and do exactly what her grandma wanted.

As Steph was making her way back to her mother's car, she only had one thought going through her head: It will be a very interesting funeral.

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