Growing Up with My Cousin

I first met my cousin Jamie when we were kids. She was from down south, so we only saw each other a couple of times a year -- major holidays, weddings, etc. She was about two years younger than me -- I was 7 and she was 5. I don't think we saw each other more than 10 times before I was 12.

Her dad was a deadbeat, and her mom was an alcoholic. By the time she was 10 years old, her life was hell. Her dad had left for another woman, and her mom was too drunk to take care of her. She spent a couple of years being bounced back and forth between their two homes -- he'd take care of her until he got bored playing house, then he'd ship her back to her mom. She'd be fine for a month or so until she ran out of booze money, then Jamie would get shipped right back to her dad. After a couple of years of this, my father offered to take her in.

My parents were also divorced. I lived across town with mom. My father had remarried a woman who had a son of her own -- a boy named Ryan, who was 9 when Jamie moved in. Jamie had been through a lot at that point, and everybody needed a period of adjustment. It didn't take long, though -- she quickly got enrolled in school and made friends very quickly.

She had to talk to someone about it -- she didn't want any trouble in the house so she couldn't talk to my dad or stepmom. She knew how cruel other kids could be, so there was no way she'd be telling any of her friends. So I ended up being the one she confided in. I always kept anything she told me to myself, so she trusted me with just about everything.

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By the time she had hit high school (I was a junior), we had become the best of friends. She was 14 now. She was a bit on the chunky side, but was still attractive and popular. She was far, far more mature than your average 14 year old both mentally and physically. She was taking all honors courses and was in the top of her class, along with being in multiple after-school activities. The fact that she had also developed an ample set of breasts was both a blessing and a curse -- she certainly liked the attention that she was getting from the boys at school, but she was also getting the same attention from Ryan, and he was barely trying to hide the fact that he was trying to peek in on her, or barge into the bathroom when he knew she was in there. To avoid the situation, she immersed herself in her after-school activities and tried to stay out as much as possible. If she wasn't at school or at some event, she was at my place.

She had come by my place before a track event one time to hang out for a couple of hours. We were talking about the usual stuff that kids talk about -- relationships, how much we hate our teachers, skipping school, stuff like that -- when she realized that she was running late and had to get ready for her event. She reached for her backpack and started pulling out her uniform and sweat pants. I expected her to head to the bathroom to change when she started to reach over and remove her shirt.

"Jamie, wait. I'm still here. I'll step out for a sec so you can change up." I said.

"No, it's OK Ted. I trust you with my life. I know you won't do anything."

I actually didn't know what to do. I had never seen a pair of breasts before. A million thoughts went through my head in the span of one second, and I was afraid of how I'd react. I even surprised myself -- I didn't gawk. I didn't get a hard on. What I saw standing in front of me was a very beautiful girl. Not "Sexy". Beautiful. A girl who respected me and trusted me with all her heart and soul, and she deserved to have that respect returned. I don't know if she ever realized it, but at that moment, she taught me to have a level of respect for women and their bodies that I still carry to this day, and I consider it one of the most important lessons of my life.

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Things had really changed by the time Jamie hit 16. She was still a bit chunky, but also still a very attractive girl. She was also very headstrong, to the point of being a control freak. She knew what she wanted, she knew how to get it, and would not take no for an answer. She was on birth control, and always insisted that any boy she was with used a condom. She was very, very selective about the boys she dated -- if they were only looking for one thing, they would quickly find themselves looking elsewhere. She wanted serious relationships, and would not waste her time on boys who would not or could not provide it.

I was 18 by this point. I had also changed significantly -- I was 6'2" and had taken a side job doing some roofing, and while I didn't have "rock hard abs" or anything like that, my arms were huge. I also had a very deep voice, which made me very intimidating if you didn't know me. Most people didn't bother to mess with me, and those who did quickly found out that it was a very bad idea.

Jamie was having trouble with one particular boy who absolutely refused to leave her alone. To give a brief description of his looks and attitude, think Biff Tannen from "Back to the Future". He was pretty much Biff -- somewhat big, arrogant, full of himself, and thought he was God's gift to women. Problem was -- I was no George McFly. Jamie had told me that he was giving her trouble, so I decided to have a talk with him.

We go to her locker, and sure enough, here comes Chris.

"Hey, Jamie. Wanna go out tonight?"

"Look, I've already told you. No. Now just leave me alone." She said.

"Aw, come on. You don't know wha ---"

I interrupted: "Jamie asked you to leave her alone. Now I'm telling you to."

"Who the hell are you?" He said.

"Never mind who I am. Just walk away."

"Yeah?" he said. "What the fuck are you goi----"

BAM!!! My fist ends up putting a solid dent in the locker right next to him. "Walk away or I drop you with the next one."

"Fuck you." . Those were his last words before he hit the ground. As he starts to get back up, "What the fuck is your probl---" was all he could get out before he was down again. He didn't try to get up a second time. He got the hint, and that was the last time he went near her.

"Thanks, Ted." Jamie said. "Always good to have someone like you around". She had given me a smile that I had never seen before on her. I didn't quite know what to make of it.

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I had moved into my own place by the time she hit 18 and graduated high school. She had come over to my place when I had a housewarming party, meeting my friend Kevin. He was a good looking guy, but had a reputation for being a complete octopus and not taking no for an answer. But he was good looking, and Jamie was definitely interested.

I tried warning her about his reputation and that dating him was not a good idea. But she was determined, and insisted that she could take care of herself. So at her request, and against my better judgement, I hooked them up. Things went fine for the first couple of dates. It was date #3 that was the problem. She had every intention of doing at least some fooling around, but didn't want to sleep with him yet. I don't know exactly how far they got before she decided to put a stop to it, but it did involve the removal of at least some of her clothing. She was too hysterical to tell me exactly what happened -- all I know is that she had to grab her clothes and try to put them on while running. She made it to my house crying hysterically. I never did get the full story of what happened -- all I know is it involved Kevin not taking no for an answer, the fact that she left her pocketbook and keys at his place, and a couple of bruises on her arms. That was all I needed to see.

I drove to Kevin's house and knocked on the door.

"Oh, Hi Ted."

"Look, don't pretend that nothing happened." I said. "Just give me her keys and her pocketbook and don't call her again."

"What did that bitch tell you? " Kevin said.

"If you call her that or anything else again, I'll drop you where you stand."

"WHAT DID THAT FUCKING CU—".

He didn't get a chance to finish that sentence before he hit the floor. "Don't call her again. Ever.

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Jamie was visibly upset by the time I got back to the house. I walked in the door and dropped her purse and keys on the table.

"Thank you. " she said.

"It's ok. Are you all right?" I replied.

"Take a look at me. "

So I did. Her clothes were a bit torn from stumbling around and running, and I informed her of the bruises I saw.

"Fucking bastard" she said, as she took her shirt and bra off. "Did he leave any other bruises?"

I looked at her back and saw nothing. "Nope. Only the ones on your arms. Want a change of clothes?"

"Sure."

I gave her a pair of my sweat pants and an old T-Shirt I had laying around. She went to take a bath and came out some time later wearing them. I was laying in bed by this point about to call it a night. I didn't know if she was planning on staying or not, but she knew her way around the place and knew that my house was always open to her. She didn't have to ask permission for anything.

She came in and sat at the edge of the bed, saying "You know, you're the only guy I've ever known who's treated me with this much respect. All the other guys either just want sex or are complete jerks."

I just looked at her, smiled, and said "You know I love ya, and I'd do anything for ya. "

She replied with "Sometimes, I wish you weren't my cousin."

I don't know how long we stared at each other after she said that, and I don't even know what happened next. But the next thing I knew, I was sitting up in bed, and we were locked in a very, very passionate kiss. Her hand reached up for the back of my head at the same time mine had reached for hers, our tongues dancing.

"Jamie, should we be --"

"Not tonight, Ted. Don't argue with me tonight." She whispered. I looked into her eyes and could instantly tell that she had thought this through. She knew what she wanted, and there was no way she was taking no for an answer. And there was no way in hell I was going to try to fight it.

With her hand still holding my head, I moved from her mouth, kissing her chin and making my way down the front of her neck. She welcomed me by tipping her head back and pushing my head closer. The slight panting indicated that I was doing exactly what she had wanted.

My hand moved from the back of her head and down to the T-Shirt I had given her. I grabbed a handful of the back of her shirt and quickly ripped it over the top of her head, flinging it somewhere across the room. This was far from the first time I had ever seen her breasts, but it was the first time I had ever looked at them in a sexual way. God, were they beautiful. She had to have been in the DD range, and her nipples and areolas were bright, bright pink. My hand moved from her back to one nipple as my mouth was moving from her neck to the other. My tongue and fingers started playing with her nipples, which quickly responded by becoming as hard as little pebbles.

I moved her onto her back, laying on the bed, and resumed playing with her nipples. Her fingernails were slowly tracing little claw marks into my back as she got more and more excited. I proceeded to move between her breasts, down her stomach, to the edge of the sweat pants. Those quickly got discarded as well. Her hands once again find the back of my head, guiding me down to the heavenly garden that was now revealed. My tongue began to work furiously on her clit as she grabbed handfuls of my hair, pushing me further in and moaning in approval. There was no more gentile tracing of my back -- she had let go of my head and her fingernails were now deeply embedded in my shoulders.

The panting became louder and more furious as she reached her first climax. My fingers had now joined my tongue and were buried deep inside her, heightening the sensations of the moment. It took her a couple of minutes to come back down, and then she proceeded to flip me onto my back.

That few seconds allowed me to achieve something resembling rational thought. "Jamie, I don't have any condoms." I said.

Her only reply was "Shhh."

I don't even remember how my pants came off. But the next thing I knew, she was straddling me and guiding me inside her. That first blissful moment when I entered her gave me a feeling that I'll never forget. That feeling alone was stronger than any orgasm I ever had. She was unlike any girl I had ever been with before. With most girls, we'd spend some time trying to find a nice rhythm. There was no rhythm with her. She knew how to move in such a way that every thrust felt completely different than the last. Every thrust felt like I was entering her for the first time again. Some thrusts were fast, others were slow. Sometimes she'd sit down with me buried all the way inside her for a couple of seconds, while other times, she'd stay with just the tip in her. Sometimes she'd move up and down, while other times she'd grind her hips. But every sensation felt different. Every sensation was totally new. And every one of them was wonderful.

I moved her onto her back, in the missionary position, and tried to replicate the lessons she had just taught me. I continually changed the speed of my thrusts and moved as much as I could. Her hand was once again at the back of my head, but this time she wasn't pulling me closer. She wanted to look deep into my eyes, and wanted me looking deep into hers, the only sounds we were making was the heavy breathing.

"I'm gonna cum, Jamie." I said, as I indicated that I was going to pull out. She'd have none of that. Her eyes never left mine. She looked even more deeply into my eyes as she wrapped her legs around me as tightly as she could, preventing me from leaving her. At this point, it wasn't her absolutely beautiful breasts. It wasn't the amazing sex that we were having. It wasn't even the forbidden pleasure of having sex with my cousin. It was that deep, intense look in her eyes -- a look that I have never seen in any woman before or since. It was almost indescribable, and gave me a feeling that I had never felt before. That look in her eyes is what did it -- I couldn't hold out any more, and released myself deep inside her.

I've always heard that there's a difference between sex and making love. I never realized how much of a difference there was until I made love to Jamie that night. When you're making love to someone who loves you as much as you love them, there's a feeling you get that simply transcends sex. When I felt Jamie's legs wrap around me, and I looked into her eyes, she told me how much she loved me without ever saying a word. That feeling I got is one that I one day hope to feel again.