Guess Who?

A couple of years after Ford introduced the retro styled Mustang in 2005; they did a new version of the GT-H. I figured that right off of the plane I'd get one. I knew that the car couldn't compete with my 2012 Boss 302, but I really wanted the chance to drive one. The Hertz office outside of Detroit Metro airport was open, but they didn't have any GT-H models on their list of cars. The only Mustang they had was a v6. And it was a frigging convertible. I just knew by that omen that this wasn't going to be a good trip.

As Sam shivered in what she perceived as cold, I wrapped an arm around her and we headed for the door. Before we even got onto the porch, the door opened and a small bundle of energy exploded from the house and launched itself at me. Being almost sixty, it's a good thing I'm in great shape because I had to struggle to maintain my balance. My daughter had almost knocked me backwards down the cement stairs. I walked through the doorway and into David's house, carrying Sarah, who had attached herself to me like a leech. During that entire walk into the warm house, Sarah's feet never touched the ground. Sam stood watching the scene with amusement on her face.

As Sarah continued to hug and kiss me, my far more cynical daughter, Sasha, spoke up.

"Way to go Sarah," she said. "I'm glad to see you're still playing hard to get about forgiving him. I'm really sure that your behavior will let him know how wrong he was." Her sarcasm made me smile.

Sarah stopped hugging me long enough to look over her shoulder at her sister and extend her middle finger skyward. "Fuck you. My daddy's home," she said.

At that point, the two sisters looked around the room as David came in with his wife Kelly. David smiled, then ignored me and immediately introduced Kelly to Samantha. Kelly seemed really interested in Sam's nearly floor length coat. She elbowed Dave in the ribs and pointed to the coat.

"Don't even start," he quipped. "Those things cost a hell of a lot of money to begin with. And the more animals they have to kill the more they cost."

"Just what are you saying hubby?" asked Kelly, putting a hand on one of her generous hips.

"Well, in Sam's case, they probably killed twenty or thirty minks to make that coat. I'd say it retailed for about four or five grand. In your case, we'd have to mortgage the house and it would put minks on the endangered species list."

Sam's sharp intake of air and the way her eyes widened conveyed her shock at the way David had spoken to Kelly.

"We're about the same size," lied Sam quickly. "You can probably fit this one."

"I like her," smiled Kelly. "Honey, I probably couldn't get my hand into that little coat. I know I'm a big girl, but trust me; Dave wouldn't have it any other way. And I guarantee you, within ten minutes of you guys leaving tonight and his mom going to sleep, Dave will have his lips and tongue all over my fat ass. And he'll be loving it."

After hearing the exchange between the two women, everyone in the room was suddenly interested in Sam. Dave walked over to her and pretended to pat her down for weapons. Then he held his arms out wide and Sam walked into them and gave him a hug. Dave led us into the living room despite the fact that both of my daughters were obviously curious about who and what Samantha was.

It didn't surprise me to see the two of them sitting in a room together. Although seeing Heidi seated demurely on the sofa with her feet up, while Justin sat on the other side of the room watching or pretending to watch a college football game wasn't believable.

As we all came into the room, Kelly announced that she had to check on the turkey and headed for the kitchen. She looked around to see if anyone was interested in joining her and only Sam took the bait.

"You stay here and get accustomed to the house for a while Honey," said Kelly. "I was expecting one of these freeloaders to do it."

"I will come in later then," said Sam politely. Her nervousness made her accent more apparent and instantly every eye in the room was on her, except for, of course, mine and Dave's. Hearing Sam speak even pried my ex-wife's eyes off of me.

Justin had locked his eyes on her from the second she entered the room. He appraised her from the top of her pretty head to the bottom of her coat.

My ex looked at me with genuine fear in her eyes. I smiled at her and shook my head.

"Hello Jim," she said. "No hug for me? It's the holiday. David even hugged his friend."

"She's not his friend," I said acidly. "Besides, I heard you were sick. If I hugged you the way I want to you probably wouldn't be able to breathe."

"You always did hug me like that," she said. "You always squeezed the shit out of me and I loved it."

"It really wasn't that hard," I deadpanned. "You always were full of shit."

"I always felt the best when you wrapped your arms around me and let me know just how much you loved me," she said, without losing a beat.

"Yeah but now I'd be wrapping my hands around your throat and letting you know something else," I said.

"I was hoping we could put the past behind us," said Heidi, sounding even more frail than she had only minutes before. I was sure that like everything else about Heidi, the affectation of infirmity was an act.

"Dad if...Sam isn't David's friend, who is she?" asked Sarah.

Even Justin looked up to hear the answer to that question. Unfortunately, he and everyone else had to wait as Kelly re-appeared with a tray of beers. She handed me a chilled Dos Equis Amber. Then she gave Justin a bottle of Dos Equis as well. She gave Sarah and Heidi glasses of what appeared to be white wine and a cup of tea to Sasha.

She handed Dave a bottle that appeared to be some sort of local home brew. As she turned away from him, he reached out to swat her in her ass. She quickly moved away and turned back to him.

"Unh Unh," she smirked. "No booty for you."

"Hey, how come I don't get to pick what I want to drink?" asked Justin.

"You can," said Kelly sweetly. "As soon as you get a job and pay for something, anything Justin, just pay for one thing." He glared at her angrily.

"Sam, what would you like to drink? Maybe white wine or are you a beer drinker like me?" she asked.

"I can't really have alcohol," said Sam quietly.

"Worried about doing something unladylike?" asked Kelly.

"No, just pregnant," smiled Sam.

That made everyone in the room turn to look at her again. I was sure that a line of drool dropped from Justin's mouth. Sarah and Sasha's expressions immediately changed. I have no idea why women are always more accepting of other women when they're pregnant, but suddenly my daughters were in Sam's fan club without even knowing why she was there.

"That's great," said Sasha. "Congratulations. Are you still involved with the father?"

"Very much so," smiled Sam. "I love him like there's no tomorrow."

The girls both cooed affectionately, even the cynical Sasha. Heidi on the other hand, set her lips just a bit harder.

"So Sam," said Sarah. "If you're not my stupid brother's friend, are you his colleague from work or something like that?"

Dave just smiled stupidly not knowing what to say, so I helped out.

"Sarah, Honey, Sam has the same relationship with Dave that she has with you and Sasha."

"What's that?" asked Justin, of all people. He looked in my eyes and realized that he shouldn't have spoken and quickly looked away but the question was out there.

"She's his stepmother," I said, crossing the room and taking her coat. We sat down on the sofa opposite the one that Heidi sat on as every jaw in the room dropped.

"But Daddy, you can't be married to her. You're still married to Mom," said Sarah.

"So Heidi, you never told the kids that we're divorced?" I asked.

Every eye in the room turned towards Heidi, who looked at me with evil intentions.

"It just didn't seem to be the right time," she said, with a shit eating grin on her face. "I didn't want to upset them with news that our family was probably breaking up."

"That makes sense," I said. "Is that why you didn't tell them that you stole their money too?"

"She did what?" asked Sasha.

"I...I...I wanted to hold onto their money until they were old enough to be responsible with it," stammered Heidi.

"Everyone in the room who's under thirty raise your hand," I said.

The only hand in the room that went up was Sam's.

"Oh, James. How old is this girl? I can't believe you got a woman who's younger than your daughters pregnant," said Heidi.

"Fuck that," snapped Sasha. "We'll get back to that later. Let's talk about this money thing and this divorce."

Heidi started coughing. "I think I need to go and take my medicine," she said, struggling to get to her feet.

"It looks more like you're trying to leave the room to avoid taking your medicine," I quipped.

Heidi sat back down and folded her arms across her chest. "Fine," she said angrily. "Your father ran off for no reason, while I was hospitalized. There was no explanation and no reason, he just left. A few weeks later, I got a packet from a messenger. There were divorce papers inside. I refused to sign them and I refused to even acknowledge them. Your father and I will be married forever. We've always been together and we always will."

"He also sent a letter to each of you. They contained contact information in case you wanted to get in touch with him and a check for each of you. I thought that if I didn't give you the letters, your father wouldn't hear from you and he'd have to come home. I knew that even if he was angry at me he couldn't stay away from his children."

"I can believe that. It almost makes sense except for one fact," I said. "The checks were cashed and deposited into one of your accounts. So basically, you stole their money."

"I'm sorry," whined Heidi. "I'm an old woman. I'm alone. I figured that I might need money in an emergency. If they never knew about the money they'd never miss it."

"How much money were the checks for?" asked Sarah.

"Ten thousand dollars each," said Heidi.

"Ten thousand God damned dollars!" screamed Sasha. She looked at her mother as if she wanted to strangle her.

Kelly walked into the room to hear what all of the screaming was about.

"He left me penniless and alone baby," said Heidi, reaching towards Sasha to calm her down. I just smiled and shook my head and started laughing.

"What's so fucking funny Dad," asked Sasha.

"Your mother just can't seem to stop lying," I said. "Maybe it just slipped her mind."

"What slipped her mind?" hissed Sasha.

"The house," I said casually.

"Get back to the money, Dad," said Sasha. "I could have already gone back to school for my MBA. That money could have made a big assed difference in my life. I could have my fucking supervisor's job right now. But I'm sitting here listening to how my father, who for the past three years I thought was the son of Satan, didn't really abandon me. And that my mother basically screwed me."

"Sorry, Honey," I said. "I loved your mother like there was no other woman in the world. As angry and hurt as I was, I'd never have left her with nothing. Before I left I arranged the sale of the house and left her all of the money."

"Daddy, we already know about that," said Sarah. "Mom told us there was a lot of damage to the house and the mortgage was underwater. After paying off the taxes on it and the realtor; she got less than five thousand dollars and most of that went to take care of her medical bills."

I just shook my head and smiled. "There were no medical bills," I said. "Your mom was out of the hospital and in an assisted care facility because after her treatment, they thought I was too old to do some of the things she needed to have happen on a daily basis. Most of her needs couldn't be done in-home. That too was paid for."

"And she got a little bit more money for the house than she told you," I said.

"Uhm, can we talk about this after dinner," interrupted Kelly.

"Honey, you're going to want to hear this," said Dave. "I've seen the canceled check. How much did you get for the house mom?"

"A little more than four hundred thousand dollars," said Heidi quietly. "But I was gonna..."

"You got how much?" asked Kelly. "Why the hell are you in my house? We decided not to have a child because you've parked your old gray ass in our spare room. We don't charge you rent. You don't help out and we've been waiting on you, hand and fucking foot. Money is really tight for us. I couldn't get a job because we had to have someone here to take care of you and all of this time you've been sitting on a pile of money."

By this time, Kelly was leaning over Heidi menacingly. Sasha and Sarah were right beside her.

"Maybe we should wait till dinner is over to continue this," I said smiling.

A few minutes later, we were all gathered around the table. It looked like a scene from one of those fifties era holiday movies. It was lightly snowing outside and I knew that meant that I'd probably need to leave even earlier than we'd planned to get to the airport. Driving a Mustang in snow was going to be interesting. My Boss 302 had not only, never seen snow, it had never heard of it. Shit, I didn't even drive it in the rain. The fact that the car we'd rented was a v6 meant nothing. It still put out more than three hundred horsepower.

As the eight of us went into the dining room, only three of us weren't pissed. Justin kept talking about how hungry he was and Sam and I weren't used to going this long without kissing each other.

I grabbed her and planted one on her while we walked towards the table.

"You sit at the head of the table, Dad," said Kelly.

I sat down at the table and suddenly there was a problem. Both Sam and Heidi were trying to sit down in the seat to my left.

"Mom, why don't you sit on the other side?" said Kelly who clearly didn't want any problems at her table. "You'll both be right next to dad."

"The left side is the side with the heart line," snapped Heidi. "I should get to sit there because I'm the woman he loved for most of his life. She's just some bimbo he knocked up. As soon as he takes care of her financially, she'll hit the high schools and find someone her own age."

"I always sit next to him and I will for as long as we live," said Sam quietly. "It seems funny that only a few minutes ago you were coughing and barely able to stand, but you're standing here wrestling with me over a chair." Everyone looked at Heidi, who again just smiled and started coughing heavily.

"I guess I don't know my own strength," she said. She hobbled around to the other side of the table. She leaned against the table as if she could barely hold herself up. She got to her place and looked at me.

"Can you help me to my seat, sweetheart?" she asked. Sam grumbled at Heidi calling me sweetheart.

"Sure," I said pointing at the chair beside me. "There's your seat"

"Really, Mother," sighed Sasha. "I know you think we're stupid, but we're not THAT stupid."

"Here, Mom," said David. He walked over to her and pretended to hand her something. Everyone looked at him strangely.

"I had to give her the Oscar she earned for that performance," he laughed.

Everyone sat down. Sam sat on my left, holding my hand as always. Heidi sat on my right. Sarah was next to Sam with Sasha right beside her. David was at the other end of the table with his wife, Kelly, on his left. Justin sat beside Kelly, directly across from Sarah with Heidi on his left. As I looked around the table I shook my head.

"What's wrong Dad?" asked Kelly.

"We'll talk about it later," I said. In my head was the thought that every man there had the woman he loved to his left; poor Sarah.

"Okay folks," I said. "Stand up." Everyone stood except for Heidi who struggled to get to her feet. Sasha rolled her eyes at her mother's antics. I asked God to bless the table and most of the people around it and I thanked him for bringing most of us back together. I gave thanks to Dave for providing all of the food we were about to eat and bringing us all back together. I gave thanks for Kelly for preparing the food and making their home a comfortable place for us to get together. But also, for making my son happy and being like another daughter to me too. I gave thanks to both of my daughters for being the beautiful young women they were and for allowing me back into their hearts and lives. I hinted to Sasha that she needed to get her ass in gear and get me a God damned grandchild.

"Dad, Sarah is the one who's married," she laughed. I snorted and continued.

Finally, I gave thanks for Sam, the love of my life, for filling my life and my heart with love and letting me know that I still had the capacity for love in my life. Then I sat down.

"What about Justin, Daddy?" asked Sarah. "I never got the chance to tell you that we're married." I just rolled my eyes and snorted. Justin's face fell. Sarah didn't say anything but she looked at me and then back to Justin.

"What about me, Honey?" asked Heidi. Kelly put her head down and shook it. I think everyone knew what was coming.

I turned to my ex and smiled. "Heidi, you make me thankful that I got the fuck out of Michigan and found a better life. You also make me thankful that God, in his wisdom, didn't give us three legs. Because if he did, and I only needed two legs to walk, then my third foot would be so far up your ass that every time you opened your mouth, you'd smell my toes."

The bitch was bullet proof though. She came right back and it cost her. "As I recall it," she began. "For most of our lives, I thought you did have three legs. And that third one usually was pretty far up inside of me. And yep, a lot of times, it did get pretty far up my ass. But most of the time, it was all the way up my pussy and into my womb. We used to fuck like..."

That was all she got out. Samantha stood up and pushed her chair out. Then she stalked around the table before anyone could object. I can still remember the sound of those heels clicking against the ceramic time of the flooring. She yanked Heidi and her chair from under the table. I guess we were all expecting Sam to yell at her. I was even wondering what she was going to say.

Sam cocked her tiny fist back and punched Heidi, piston-like, in the mouth. It was a great punch too. Heidi's head snapped back and she fell over backwards out of her chair and sprawled on the floor. Sam was incensed. She started to kick Heidi, but was pulled away from her by Justin.

I didn't object to the fact that Justin had pulled Sam off of Heidi, I just objected to the way he did it. He'd pulled Sam away from Heidi by grabbing her large breasts from behind. And even as she struggled to get back to Heidi, he kept squeezing them. He wasn't so much pulling her away as much as he was copping a feel.

I didn't think. I just reacted. I grabbed the bowl of mashed potatoes and slammed it against his face. He staggered back sputtering and spitting out creamy white food.

What he'd been doing hadn't been lost on Sarah. She grabbed the gravy boat and launched it at her husband's head. "You fucking asshole, she screamed. "Have some gravy to go with those potatoes." The gravy boat smacked soundly into Justin's head. It also drenched his face and upper body in thick brown gravy.

"It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce," said Sasha as she dumped the plate of canned cranberry sauce over Justin's head.

"No, stop," screamed Kelly. Justin wiped his eyes and reached for the turkey. Luckily, David was quicker. He grabbed the turkey to save it from joining the chaos and whipped it away from the table. Unfortunately, the turkey was heavy and the floor was slippery from cranberry sauce and greasy gravy. David lost his balance and the turkey flew upwards into Justin's face.