Hades and Persephone Ch. 21

Aidon felt as though the intervening time hadn't passed at all, that they were as they had been before the pomegranate seeds, when she was supposed to be his for always, instead of this strange half-life they would play out until the end of time. He knitted his brow momentarily. The thought that in six short months she must leave again drove needles into him. He pushed it from his mind and focused on her instead, committing to memory every hair that had been pulled out of place, every eyelash framing her slate blue eyes, the gentle slope of her nose, the soft bow of her lips. The pain faded the more he studied her.

Persephone lay on her stomach, propped up on pillows and a soft black fleece, her arms folded under her chin, relaxed and sated and gazing at him. Aidon leaned on his left arm, lazily tracing shapes on her back with his index finger. She smiled at him.

"You're wondering what in the world I'm doing right now," Aidon said.

"You read my mind."

"Not a hard thing to do these days." He bit his cheek. Something worried her, something increasingly palpable. He gave her a concerned look.

She giggled

"While you were away I got a head start on learning how to write to you in the old tongue."

She relaxed again. "So is that what you're doing to my shoulders right now? Writing to me?"

"Mm-hmm."

"What does it say?"

Aidon slowly traced the outlines of two glyphs, sounding them out as he wrote them. "I love... you..." he whispered. She buried her face in her hands and smiled, feeling her cheeks flushing hot, then turned back to him. He drew three more symbols, quicker and with a steadier hand. "Pers-epho-neia."

"Persephoneia?"

"It was the closest I could get in their language. And it's graceful. It suits you."

Persephone blushed again. She rose up on one elbow, but he gently pressed her shoulder back to the pillow, stilling her so he could continue writing.

"Will you..." He drew the next two symbols and whispered as he traced their patterns into her skin. "...marry me?"

She froze. "What?"

"Will you marry me, Persephone?"

"I... we... Aidon, do you mean a wedding? We've been husband and wife for eight months, now. Far longer, if you consider that we were betrothed aeons ago."

"By the laws of the world above. We are both quite aware those can be broken at will."

"But we're still married. We just spent the whole day doing... married things."

Aidon laughed, then drew in a slow breath. "Persephone, I never asked if you wanted to be my spoils of war, or if you wanted to be the bargain I made with Zeus and Demeter. I ask you now, as my equal, as rightful Queen of the Underworld, if you want to be my wife."

Her face fell. He was serious.

"I never asked your permission."

"Aidon—"

"I didn't. I stole that decision from you when I abducted you. I want to return that choice to you."

She was quiet, then shifted again to sit up, facing him. "My love, when you announced at the welcoming celebration that we would have a wedding ceremony..."

"I know. I knew as soon as I said it that I should have discussed it with you first."

"You know that I love you, Aidon. Perhaps after all this, after Minthe, my mother... Should we wait?" In her heart, she didn't want to wait; she wanted him to say 'no'. But she needed to confront him about the truth first... and delaying that was far more comfortable.

He sensed the doubt in her voice and raised an eyebrow. "If that will make you more comfortable, we can postpone. Do you still want a ceremony?"

"I do." She hesitated. The time to speak was now, but she swallowed the questions raging inside her and gave him a nervous smile. "Maybe a smaller ceremony? Instead of inviting everyone who lives in our kingdom?"

Aidon chuckled. "Anything you wish. We can even have just the hieros gamos itself, if that is what you want. Alone. Without anyone bearing witness."

She felt her breath catch and tears clouded her eyes.

"Is that what you still want, sweet one?"

She nodded. "I do. I do, my love. But I've seen the Rite and its lasting bond... go terribly wrong. My parents..."

"I am not him. You are not her."

"I know. But why is the ritual so important to you?"

"Because I want to seal myself to you. Permanently." He rubbed her back. "I have wanted to since the night we shared the Key."

"To bring us closer?"

"Yes."

"I am already bound to you, Aidon. What more?"

"I trust you and I love you. I want us to relinquish everything that separates us, every possible thing that could stand between us."

"Truly?"

"I swear it."

It was inescapable now. Persephone took a deep breath. "Aidon, if we are to go through such a ritual, if we are going to bind ourselves to each other completely, then we need to know and consider everything about each other. You told me once that you would tell me the truth, you swore upon the Styx to do so, and I likewise should do the same for you."

"You don't have to, my love."

"Yes, I do. I certainly don't want to be less than you, but I don't want to be some statue set upon a pedestal, either. I am as imperfect as anyone else."

He felt his stomach drop, worrying where this could lead. "I will accept it then."

"Good." She stared at him and took his hand within hers. "I, Persephone, Praxidike Chthonios, Queen of the Underworld, Goddess of Spring, swear on the Styx to tell you the truth, no matter what the consequences, and withhold nothing."

He nodded and brought her hand to his lips, kissing it.

"I need the same from you, Aidoneus. That you will withhold nothing and tell me everything."

"Everything," he said. "I swear it in turn."

She took a deep breath. "I visited the Fates."

He froze.

"I asked them about children..."

Aidoneus stood up from the bed and paced the room, his hands raking his scalp. "Hecate took you, didn't she? I swear by the Styx, when I see her next—"

"You'll do no such thing. I demanded that she take me, Aidon. Just as you once demanded that she take you."

"Then you know."

"That it is more than likely that we cannot have—"

"That I lied to you."

"You didn't lie to me, Aidon. I never asked."

"But I knew. I lied by omission, Persephone." He exhaled with a shudder, then stood still, his jaw clenched.

"Aidon..."

"I know what they said!" His voice broke. "Gods above, of all the truths my father ever tried to use against me, it was that staying here, becoming the ruler of the Underworld would make offspring, heirs, a family, impossible." He stared at her.

"What if it's not true, my love?"

"It is true and I made it so. I ate the asphodel to bind myself here for penance! But I didn't realize until after I'd done it that consuming the food of the dead, making this place a part of me... Then you... Persephone, I stopped you from tasting the pomegranate for a reason that morning in the grove. If you had eaten that seed you would have shared my fate," he said, rubbing his eyes. "But I didn't tell you why I stopped you because I thought I would lose you. And when you ate the seeds on your own..."

"Aidon..."

"You're a goddess of the earth. Of fertility, for Fate's sake, and the consequences of eating the food of the dead are eternal. My silence, my cowardice robbed you of..." He turned away from her and went silent. His back shook and his head dipped as he crumpled forward. He tried to take in a full breath and calm himself. "I'll go."

"What do you mean?"

"The palace is yours. This is a vast kingdom. You were meant to rule here, and during the winter I can find another corner of this realm to—"

"Aidon, stop," she said, her voice firm. His fists were at his sides, his muscles taut, his knuckles white. Persephone rose and walked across the bedroom to him. As she approached tension knotted his body further. "Face me. Please face me, Aidoneus."

He turned slowly and brushed his hands over his face and back through his hair, trying to quiet the despair raging within him, to salvage some shred of dignity in front of her. This might be the last he would ever see of her. Persephone brought her hand to his cheek and he closed his eyes.

"You know that I love you."

He shook, his words coming from behind gritted teeth. "You bound yourself here, to me, without knowing the whole truth. I destroyed any chance you ever had to bear children."

"I forgive you."

He opened his eyes, his voice a harsh whisper. "Why?"

She smiled at him. "You're behaving like you forced me to eat the seeds."

"Isn't that what I did? Slowly and methodically? By seducing and tempting you and letting you fall for me without telling you all of what I knew? What would you have done if I had told you?"

"Aidon, if you told me all you knew, I would have eaten the seeds anyway."

He stared blankly at her, not sure if he'd heard her correctly.

"My lord, I love you. More than any... possibility, more than any future plan. The Fates laugh at our plans, anyway. I love every flaw, every virtue that outweighs those flaws a thousandfold. You were afraid I would reject you; you were only trying to keep your heart safe."

"I don't deserve your forgiveness. You've never withheld anything from me."

"Did you wade into the Lethe while I was gone?!" she guffawed. "Don't you remember? Until the last few days I was here, I hid my heart from you because I was afraid. I feared many things— that you would tire of me once you'd won me. You know that. I slept beside you, I made love to you, I spent every free moment with you, but I couldn't admit aloud that I loved you." She bit her lip and stared at the floor. "But what you didn't know was that after we returned from Tartarus, I discovered that I hadn't bled while I was here and because of that I thought I was with child by you."

"Oh, sweet one..."

"I didn't tell you what I suspected. And it made telling you I loved you so much more complicated." Her voice cracked. "I didn't know what to feel, or what to say, and I didn't want to say anything to you because I was afraid you would abandon me, that you didn't want that responsibility. I was afraid that our child would grow up as I did."

"You must know that I would never do that to you. I would cherish any children we had."

"And I would never leave you or stop loving you for not giving me a child."

The fire crackled in the hearth and they stood before each other for a long moment, saying nothing. Aidon took a step forward and reached for a loose tendril of hair falling down her breast. He brushed it behind her back and pulled her tight against him, feeling her sigh in relief as she wrapped her arms around his back.

"Don't you understand?" she said. "You asked me if I wanted to marry you. I accept. I freely choose you, Aidoneus."

He kissed the top of her head. "Even if it means we cannot have a family?"

"You shouldn't believe everything the Fates told you."

"I'm afraid I have no choice."

"Even if they told me something different?"

He scowled. "Their words are never meant literally. If they gave you any hope, you need to let it go. It will only ruin you."

Persephone shook her head and took his hands in hers, guiding him back to the bed to sit beside her. "When you spoke to the Fates, what did they say to you?"

Aidoneus thinned his lips. "They told me that those who rule Chthonia do not have heirs. That is the fate of 'those who share in the bounty of the souls'."

"What if our child is meant to rule the sky instead?"

"Zeus said that to—" He calmed his angry voice. "It was an empty oath meant to silence and shame me."

"Or he unknowingly speaks the will of the Fates. Tempting them..."

"Please don't let their words go to your head. Curiosity about my destiny nearly destroyed me. The Fates told me that I would bring you here against your will, that I would have you but not have you, all of which has come to pass. They said that I would bring sorrow and destruction to the mortals..." He shook his head. "Gods above... I ate the fruits of the Underworld, the 'bounty of the souls', just as they predicted I would. Ananke is inescapable."

"They also told me that you and I would have not one but three children, Aidoneus."

He narrowed his eyes. "Is your continuing love for me bound up in this idea that we might have children?"

Persephone stroked his arm. "My feelings for you are unchanged whether we have no children or a thousand. I loved you before the idea was ever planted in my head."

"Then why are you trying to convince me of this, Persephone?"

"Because they mentioned more than just children. They first told me about our role in this cosmos. You are not bound to this realm, to its 'bounty' and rule alone. You are not just the Lord of the Dead."

He snorted and looked away from her. "Of course I am. It's what I was fated to be... Well, after a fashion. I am the consort to the actual ruler of the Underworld."

She leaned against him. "But that's the very thing they said, Aidon. You are neither greater nor lesser than I. The Fates said we hold dominion over the earth and everything beneath it as equals."

"As I said, their words are not meant literally."

She reached for the plate Aidon had set at the edge of the bed after he had fed her dates and figs for breakfast. She held an olive up to his mouth. "Then consider this."

He nibbled it from her fingers and bit into the briny fruit. "What about it?"

"It wouldn't be here if you didn't share in my role in the world above. You aren't just the King of the Dead. Poseidon has the sea, Zeus has the sky..."

"We all thought the third lot would be the earth," he said, chewing the olive. "It wasn't."

"Perhaps that's because the earth is too big. Maybe it needed to be governed by something greater than just one of the Deathless Ones. Perhaps it needed to be ruled by a union of opposites."

He spat the pit into his hand and set it on the plate, then raised his eyebrows at her. "Intriguing, but if you'll please forgive me for doubting that..."

"There is a new order to the cosmos. Nothing will ever be the same again and we'd be fools to think anything would be after a union as significant as ours."

"Which would be?"

"Well..." she braced herself, ready to feel her husband's antipathy. "Demeter is responsible for the harvest. The season of harvest, no?"

He thinned his lips and grunted in acknowledgement.

"And you discovered that since the order of all things has changed, the earth cannot renew itself without me returning to the world above in the Spring."

"True," he said.

"The Fates told me that we are the ones who bring fertility up to the earth. Because of us, together, I... carry the seed of the earth when I return to the world above each spring."

"Carry the seed of the..." His ears grew hot and his throat closed.

She licked her dry lips. "Symbolically, of course..."

"S-so by virtue of us..." he tried to clear the growing lump in his throat. "When— because you and I... the earth is fertile?"

She fell to the side, giggling. His face burned and she could feel the heat from where she lay. "After this afternoon, and all we've done to 'ensure the fertility of the earth', you still blush, Aidon?"

A smile curved one side of his mouth, revealing a few white teeth. She sat up, relieved that his embarrassment wasn't worsened by her teasing. His eyes widened and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I had never considered that the... consummation of our love had meaning to anyone beyond you and I."

"It wouldn't have, before. But the cosmos has shifted. Forever. For us, for the mortals, for the Olympians... What do you suppose it will mean for us down here?"

"Well, for the immediate future, it means I will gladly... perform my part in our new divine role eagerly. And vigorously," he said, his eyes lit with passion.

Persephone bit her lip as her mind conjured images of Hades eagerly and vigorously fulfilling their divine purpose.

"After all, the mortals depend on us!" he said, raising his voice and eyebrows in mock urgency. Persephone doubled over again, holding her sides as her laughter pealed through the room.

He gathered her up in his arms and scooted them back toward the pillows, lying down side by side. Aidon brushed Persephone's hair away from her face while she spoke. "As for marriage, there is something I would like to ask of you."

"Name it and it's yours," he said, smiling.

"I want to see you more often. In a more permanent place. A home for us in the world above."

The corners of his mouth tensed. "It's bad enough that you're away for half the year. My prolonged absence would be dangerous."

"I'm not suggesting that. And I don't intend to make you shoulder the burden alone." She held up her left hand, the Key sparkling in the sanguine light of the hearthfire. "I have an instantaneous way back here and could come for a night or two or if I am... urgently needed. But not while the mortals are sowing crops or during the last days of harvest."

"That leaves us a fairly narrow span of time. And I doubt that a few nights every six months will suffice for either of us."

"Not nearly."

He bit at his cheek. "I'll come above. But for Fates sake, I don't like risking Demeter or her priesthood walking in on us in the Plutonion. I can't imagine that would endear me to your mother. Nor would it strengthen her truce with me."

"So not there, then?" Her face fell. "That's our home among the living."

"We could meet there sometimes. And the Telesterion is... not what I had in mind either. What about Nysa?"

"Mortals can't go there. We might as well be at Olympus."

"I'd as soon drink the blood of a hydra than go there."

She smirked and pinched his side. "I wasn't suggesting that. But one of the reasons we should make time above is for the humans. We— I need to be among them in Spring and Summer."

"Thera?"

"It's so remote..."

"The mainland, then."

"What about Locri or Sikelia?"

Aidoneus snorted and tucked his hand under his head. "And you think Thera is remote..."

"There's farmable land there."

"This might not be to your liking, but Thesprotia is distant enough from Eleusis. Its rivers are named for mine, and before the Mysteries, most of the sheep and oil sacrificed to my kingdom came from there."

She ground her teeth. "Leuce's resting place."

"Persephone..."

"I know." She sighed. "Besides— it's still within Hellas and not too far from Mother. But in terms of permanently settling, we might as well take advantage of the fact that Sikelia is mine now."

"How did that come to pass?"

"A wedding present, from Zeus."

He rolled his eyes. "An island for a goddess queen's bride gift? You merit nothing less than a continent."

She giggled, rolling onto her stomach.

"It's a silly thing to say, I know. You know my feelings on that subject."

"I hope that our world and our ways will have at least some influence on the mortals. They already have, but not how you would prefer, I think."

"How so?"

"Athena told me that men in her city have been taking their brides away in chariots. Some will toss their new wife's flower crown— and one time a girdle— to the crowd before whisking them away into their house."

Aidoneus flopped onto his back and covered his eyes with one hand, massaging his temples.

She poked his side. "Not what you had in mind, I take it?"

"The furthest from," he said. "They re-enact when I rapt you away from Nysa?"