Hang-ups

"He won't even look at me anymore," Suzy sobbed into the phone.

"Oh, stop it. You just delivered and you're hormonal. He's probably afraid you'll bite his head off."

"Gee, thanks."

"Oh, hell. Look, I'm at work. Freddy hasn't exactly been the man of steel of late, and I know where you're coming from. When I delivered Fred Jr., I put my teenage daughter to shame. And you know what a cock hound Rachel is."

"I'm dying, Brenda. I'm in such need of a good....fucking."

"Christ, Suze, what do you want me to do? Lez out on you or something?"

"No, I just wanted some sympathy, damn it!"

"Look, we got ten admissions going on, Doc Ritigliano is cursing me in Italian, the nurse just ran out in tears. The trash hasn't been emptied in a week. I can't spare you any sympathy right now. It's not that I don't care, but I'm not in a position where I can play girlfriend right now."

"All right."

"Oh, fuck, don't even give me that wounded puppy voice. I know Freddy and Steve are off to Lake Pickwick for a weekend fishing trip. I get off at ten, if I'm lucky. What say I grab a bag and I'll spend the weekend with you and the baby?"

"Mom has little Jimmy."

"Even better, I'll bring a fifth with me."

"I can't drink."

"Of course you can. You aren't pregnant any more."

"But I'm still breast feeding."

"So what? You got a pump. It'll all be out of your system before the rugrat is back."

"Brenda!"

"Oh, fuck. Look, I gotta go. See you around eleven."

Brenda Miles hung up and let out a big sigh. Being the admissions nurse at Baptist was bad enough, but on a Friday night, with a gang war going on and the janitorial staff on strike, it was sheer hell. She just didn't have time to stroke Suzy's ego tonight. Not that she felt bad about blowing her off, Suzy could be a real pain in the ass when she was in JAP mode. Which was all too often since she got pregnant.

Actually, Suzy was a high maintenance pain in the ass most of the time. She could also be the most kind, considerate and generous of friends. The problem was, she was strung tighter than a wasp waist corset. Brenda kept up the hope that she would eventually let her hair down and learn to enjoy life. It was a fading hope, as Suzy had become insufferable after the kid was born, obsessing over her weight, the kid, the house and Steve's seeming disinterest. Brenda hated to admit it, but she had been avoiding her friend. Suzy was just more emotionally draining than Brenda could handle at the moment.

She knew from Freddy that Steve was having his own problems with his wife. Brenda had coaxed Freddy into taking Steve out and giving him a talking to. The boy was getting desperate, and she couldn't deal with Suzy going through a divorce. But if the girl didn't lighten up, she was gonna drive Steve to it.

Brenda laughed out loud, causing several people to stare.

Good old Freddy. King of the horn dogs. His solution had been they try wife swapping. She wasn't that into Steve, but she had to admit, if anything would loosen Suze up, Freddy's cock would do it. Not only was he fantastically hung, but he knew how to use it, and imagining little Suzy with Freddy's black dick slamming her pussy was about the funniest thing she had thought of in a long time.

Actually, it wasn't just funny, it was kind of hot. Suze was a dish, even if she didn't know it. Back in their early swinging days, Brenda had been pretty naïve. Once she got started though, she had gone a little cunt crazy. She told herself it was just a passing thing, she hadn't been with another woman in a couple of years. The couples they regularly partnered with were pretty much straight. And none of the wives really did much for her anyway, but Suze? She had to admit, she could get into that.

Of course, it was all the more funny because Suze would never go for it. Steve would, Brenda had seen him surreptitiously checking out her tits and ass when they had pool parties. But Suze? Not with all the rum in Jamaica in her.

Brenda paused in the middle of her admission paper work and frowned. No, you couldn't get Suze liquored up enough. But what about drugged up? She pushed the thought from her mind and went back to her paper work, but it kept coming back. On her break, Brenda slipped into the pharmacy and perused the shelves.

Most of the tranquilizers were just too strong. And she wasn't real knowledgeable about the psychoactives. Several painkillers might work, but they might also make her sick. Brenda had only entered on a lark and was about to leave, chalking the whole crazy thought up to the bad idea column, when she saw the bottle of Cainockflorin. It was a new drug, and only Doc Ritigliano used it. He was still heavily loyal to the old country and the fact that an Italian firm had developed it made it good enough in his estimation.

He only gave it to the real whackos, but it really seemed to work on them. She had seen him calm a Schizoid-affective down from homicidal rage to sleepy and fuzzy with a single shot of the stuff. Curious, she grabbed the work up on it and took it back to the break room.

She read through all the cautions first and was surprised to find there were very few. She noted pregnant or nursing women wasn't among the proscribed patients list. The side effects were interesting as well.

Common side effects include: Drowsiness, dizziness, weakness, impaired judgment, impaired vision, confusion/disorientation, short term memory loss and impaired concentration.

Rare Side effects: Enhanced Tactile sensation (particularly in the extremities), Muscle soreness, breathing difficulty, Somnambulism, Hallucinations, Incontinence

In clinical trials one patient in 100,000 experienced an allergic reaction, which resulted in coma. Of these reactions .001 percent resulted in death. This side effect must be treated immediately with epinephrine delivered intravenously as well as antihistamines and oxygen.

Cainockflorin should not be administered to patients with Asthma or other breathing difficulty, taking Corticoid-steroids or opiate painkillers as either could result in breathing arrest.

Pretty powerful stuff. Brenda immediately discounted the coma and death warning. She had come to realize that was more legalese then medicalese. All the big pharmaceutical outfits were covering their asses now with such disclaimers. Even her birth control pills had such a warning, but when she asked, Dr. Palmer told her no one had ever died from them that he knew of. Suzy didn't have any breathing problems she was aware of, but it wasn't like Brenda knew her full medical history.

Brenda decided it was just a nutty idea and on her way back to the nurse's station, she stopped into the Pharmacy to return the paperwork to its cubby. She had intended to just leave, but she found herself alone and eyeing the two bottles of Cainockflorin. It only came in two oral doses, a .25 mg maintenance dose and a .5 mg intervention dosage. Anything more had to be given intravenously under a physician's supervision. The Doc eschewed the .5 mg dose, preferring to give the .25 incrementally until his patients calmed. Thus the .25 bottle was three quarters empty, but the .5 mg bottle was almost full.

Brenda found herself doing some quick arithmetic. Five hundred tablets, of which, maybe twenty were gone. That was over the roughly six months it had been available. Last inventory had been in April, so...roughly five more months till the admins got their panties in a wad or the state came in, necessitating a new inventory. Her hand was on the bottle and she was spilling two tabs out before she even really realized it. Stashing them in her coat pocket, she returned to the admissions desk and spent the rest of her shift debating the consequences of her crazy plan.

"Hey babe, miss you," Freddy's voice came over the line.

Brenda had just gotten in and was still half dressed when the phone rang. "Yeah, like I'm buying that. A weekend of fishing, lying and getting drunk is your idea of paradise," she replied, but there was no venom in her voice.

"Damn, woman, I can't even try to be nice to you, can I?" he chuckled.

"Sure you can, if Viagra is on sale."

"Ouch. Low blow there."

"You know I'm full of shit, babe."

"Yeah, but the dick jokes gotta stop. A man has his pride."

"So how's it going?" Brenda asked, as she tossed her eighteen-hour bra into the hamper.

"I....Look, I know she's your friend and all, but Stevie's mine. She's killing him, babe. She can't even loosen up a little bit. Even when he can get it, the sex is missionary only and she acts like it's a chore. It's just destroying his self-esteem. He loves her, but he's at the end of his rope."

"Damn."

"I even approached him about some swappin', but while he was hot as hell to get into your pants, he said there was no way she'd try it. I don't think this marriage is going to make it, babe. I'm sorry for that, she's a sweet girl sometimes, but I can't try to convince him to stay. Not after all he told me on the trip up."

Freddy..." she said, her tone turning icy.

"Awww, shit, don't do that, babe. I'm not gonna egg him on to leave her, but I just can't lean on him to stay. I know I'd be outta there in a heartbeat."

"If she loosened up some, do you think they would make it?" she said after a deep sigh.

"Sure. He's still in love with her, and he's about the proudest papa I ever did see. If she dropped the Princess crap and was even close to normal, he'd gut it out."

"All right, you tell Steve to hang in."

"I've heard that voice before. You about to read her the riot act?"

"No. I'm going to cut some corset strings and see what busts loose."

"Uh oh."

"What?"

"Nothing. I love you to death, babe, but I've heard that tone before. I know I wouldn't want any part of it. I'll keep Steve-o from bolting, but you have to tell me if nothing happens. I ain't sending the poor boy home to any more of what he's been gettin'."

Brenda pulled into the potholed parking lot and killed the engine. She checked her purse for the .32 she habitually carried, and took a deep breath. Getting out, she approached the garishly lit entrance and passed through the dilapidated door. Just inside, a kid with more tattoos and body piercings than a sideshow freak looked up from the book he was reading. She glanced at the title and laughed, Plato's the Republic. College kid, she decided.

"ID?" he inquired in a bored voice.

Brenda showed it to him and passed through the dark curtains and into the interior. She hadn't been to an adult store in ages, but they were all the same. She had picked this one, despite the bad neighborhood, because she knew one of the clerks. She just hoped Dana was on. She spotted her friend, helping a fat man in conservative business attire select a butt plug. Dana looked up, smiled and winked and went back to her customer. Once she had made the sale she came over and gave Brenda a hug.

"Fancy seeing you here, Freddy not living up to his rep?" the tall girl said as she hugged Brenda.

"He's still the man of the house," Brenda said with a laugh.

"So what brings you to Homo central?"

"I need some help."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I got a girlfriend who needs to get her ass laid, but good."

"You planning on doing the laying?"

"Yeah."

"Bren, I don't mean to be bitchy, but you aren't a top."

"Tonight I'm gonna be."

"Cool, what do you need?"

"Damned if I know, that's why I came to the expert."

"Well, tell me a bit about this girlfriend, then."

"She's a good girl, Dee. But she's about to loose her husband and a lot more. She's got some hang-up that keeps her from enjoying sex, and I think that's what has her so fucked up. She's a ball of stress and she won't relax or loosen up even a tiny bit. She's been playing princess for the past year or so, and it's just worn thin on everyone. I think she even knows it, but she seems incapable of stopping herself."

"So how you planning on bedding her? Think she might be a closet dyke?"

"No."

"Look, Bren, ain't none of my business, but if she's that fucked in the head, how you planning on getting her into the sack? I've bedded a few happily married women, but it's a damned frustrating deal getting them to lose the panties."

"She's going to lose them whether she likes it or not."

"Ooooo-Kay. I take it you aren't taking no for an answer."

"Damned skippy, I'm not."

"All right, well, let's see about some restraints then. You got a stick?"

"No."

"Well, we got some good harnesses," Dana said, leading Brenda over to one wall.

The tall butch selected a box and handed it to Brenda, who examined it curiously.

"How do you use it?"

"Self explanatory, no more difficult than putting on a pair of pants. It'll handle most any cock you choose."

As she spoke, Dana indicated a huge and bewildering array of dildos on the racks along the wall.

"Jesus H. Christ," Brenda whispered.

"Don't let the selection intimidate you. A dick's a dick's a dick. Choosing one is all about knowing what you want to do with it. Once you're clear on that, it practically picks itself," Dana said with an encouraging squeeze of Brenda's shoulder.

"I see."

"Just tell me what you want babe, I'm here to help."

Brenda thought about it for a few moments.

"I've gotta rock her world, Dee. She's gotta cum like she's never cum before, and she's gotta end up liking it."

"Petite girl? Big Girl? What?"

"Petite. Really petite."

"Experienced?"

"No. Not really."

Dana went to the rack and grabbed a monster dildo. Even Brenda, who was used to Freddy's horse dick balked.

"Most have funny names, puns and the like, or are modeled on porn stars. But this one, they just call it the Bitch Tamer. If you're dead set on fucking up her world view, this is the one you want."

"I don't think she can take that," Brenda said, hefting the thick and heavy dildo.

"Bullshit, Bren. Get her hot enough and she'll be begging for it. Unless you plan on some ass fucking, that's my recommendation."

"Hadn't thought about any ass fucking, but it might be just what she needs," Brenda said, still awed by the huge dildo.

Dana laughed and moved down the row, she came back with a long, thin and strangely shaped cock in clear latex. While she was away, Brenda considered the big dildo. It just looked too ridiculously large, but she decided she would trust Dana's judgment. She would only have one shot at this and it would be a shame to fail because she wasn't hung well enough.

"This will do for her backdoor. It was designed by a flaming queen of a doctor. It's scientifically contoured to give the most pleasure without doing any damage, so you can tear her up and not have to be worried about it." "All right. Dee?"

"Yeah?"

Brenda held up the Bitch Tamer and smiled.

"Does it come in black?"

Despite her detour, Brenda made it to Suzy's place with fifteen minutes to spare. She shouldered her overnight bag, but left the special bag on the car seat. She still wasn't sure she was going to go through with it, but she was prepared to take drastic action if discussion failed.

She knocked on the door and Suzy answered.

"Hey, Babe," Brenda said, barging in and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"Hey," her friend replied.

Brenda deposited her overnight bag on the sofa and hurried upstairs. She locked herself in the couple's bathroom and quickly scanned the medicine cabinet. When she had satisfied herself neither was using a rescue inhaler or taking anything more dangerous than aspirin, she relieved herself and went back downstairs. She smiled at Suzy and moved to the bar.

"So what's the plan?" Brenda asked as she fixed herself a rum and coke.

"I don't know. I can't get my mother on the phone to make sure the baby is all right and Steve hasn't called. I swear, I'm starting to think he's having an affair."

"Men are like that. If they aren't getting it at home, they go bird doggin'," Brenda said carefully.

It seemed like a good lead in. She was going to try to reason with Suzy first, but if that failed, she was now pretty much prepared to try the second option.

"That's not very nice."

"Oh, hell, Suzy. You gotta keep your man happy. I'm not going to lie to you."

"I've tried."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she said defensively.

"So what have you tried?"

"The usual things."

"Get some sexy lingerie?"

"No, of course not."

"Meet him at the door naked and on your knees?"

"Brenda! There's no need to be so crude."

"Men like crude sometimes. You should try it."

"I'm not a whore!"

"I meet Freddy naked at the door, with a beer and a blow job at least once a month. You sayin' I'm a whore?" Brenda replied, her voice icy.

"No. You know I'm not. Let's change the subject, 'kay?"

"No, not yet. Just what have you tried, Suze?"

"Just regular stuff. You know, letting him know I would let him if he wanted to."

"Did you ever tell him you wanted to?"

"No, I'm not like that," she said blushing.

"Girl, a man's got a fragile ego. He has to feel wanted."

"I want him. I really do."

"But have you ever told him that?"

"No."

"Suze, you gotta loosen up. Nobody wants to be married to his mother in law."

"Bren, you're really pissing me off. Let's just drop it, okay? You just don't understand."

Oh, I understand perfectly, she thought. The only question is, can I make you see the light?

"All right, girlfriend, we'll drop it. I brought some flicks, you wanna make some popcorn?"

"Sure," she said, smiling.

That was the thing about Suze, Brenda mused. The redeeming quality that made putting up with her bullshit worth it. She had been hurt and upset, but she instantly forgave Brenda. She didn't have a vengeful bone in her body and didn't carry grudges. Beneath the puritanical attitude, she was genuinely sweet and loving. But that wouldn't be enough to save her marriage, and Brenda knew it.

"What can I get you?" Brenda asked, as casually as she could.

"Vodka Martini."

"That shit will rot your guts. How bout something less toxic?"

Brenda really didn't have anything against martinis, but she wanted something with some color to it.

"I dunno, have something you think would do me good?"

Oh yeah, that I do, she thought.

"How bout a Harvey Wallbanger? I see Steve picked up some Galliano."

"Never had one of those, sure," she replied.

"What kind of flick you feel like?" Brenda called.

She kept her eyes on the entrance to the kitchen as she mashed up the Cainockflorin into a powder and mixed it with the sugar she was adding to Suze's drink. She had it done and was carrying both drinks to the table when Suze came in with a bowl of popcorn. Brenda popped in a girly flick and sat back, sipping on her rum and coke. She watched from the corner of her eye as Suzy sipped the drink.

"Wow!" she exclaimed.

"Like it?'

"Yeah, it's sweet and kinda...I dunno..."

"Don't try to explain," Brenda laughed, "There are no words for how Galliano tastes. You either like it or hate it."

"I like it," Suzy said, taking a much larger sip.

Brenda paid no attention to the movie, but watched Suzy closely. At first there seemed to be no effect, but after a while she started to sway and her eyes dilated.

"Suzy?" Brenda asked.

When she didn't respond, Brenda put down her drink and moved next to her friend. She waved her hand in front of Suzy's face and snapped her fingers.

"Suzy!" she shouted.

"Huh? Ummmm... I'm feeling woozy...Feel..." her words trailed off into an incoherent mumbling.

"Feel like some serious fucking?" Brenda asked.

"Mmm...fucking..."

Well, the first part of her plan seemed to be working. Brenda knew she would have to hurry though. She had only used .5 mg and while the effects were stunning, she knew the intervention dosage was meant to be applied to someone who had already had a serious IV dose in their system. Left to her own devices, Suzy would fall asleep and wake with nothing worse than a drug hangover, and maybe some sore muscles. Brenda had no intention of leaving her to her own devices, however.