Hannah's Hero Ch. 04

Being careful not to pull his IV drip loose, I hugged him and held him tightly for a moment. "Now, you go do what you need to do, and take better care of yourself. If that young man saw you like this, what do you think he'd say?"

"You're right," I said. "He'd expect me keep living and remember him with love."

The old general smiled and nodded his head. "That's more like it. When it gets tough for you, remember this: if you surrender to despair, then they've won. They'll have ended two lives for the price of one. Never give up, and never give in! I'm at the end of the road, but I'm going to fight every step of the way. You honor his memory and do the same!"

That night I had a restful night's sleep for the first time in weeks. And if that weren't enough, I surprised Jennifer and myself both by eating a quick breakfast before we left for work. I did my morning rounds, checking in on all of my patients. Mr. Ellis was sleeping, so I changed his drip and left him be.

The afternoon finally arrived, and as soon as the orderly brought him back from infusion I went to see him. In spite of his illness he met me with an angelic smile, holding both hands out to me. I knelt in front of his wheelchair and took his hands in mine.

"Hannah," he said, his voice weak, but choked with emotion, "Specialist Christopher West was not among those killed in action!"

"What!?" I cried, staggering with the weight of what I had just heard.

"He isn't dead, girl!" General Ellis said, beaming. His smiled faded slightly. "I won't lie to you, he was shot twice, but he survived!"

"When I saw...I saw him on the TV..."

"I know, my dear, I know," he said, soothingly. He pulled me into his arms for a weak hug. "I wrote down the details I could find for you. I'm afraid I don't have the energy for a long talk." He gave me a small wire-bound notepad, and smiled again. "Thank God I was able to serve one more time." He slumped back in his wheelchair and dozed off. I gently checked his vitals and his chart, and made a decision.

It wasn't my place, but he would have done it for me. I called his listed next of kin, a daughter named Ellen. I knew from his chart that the old soldier was near the end of his battle, and I didn't want him to face it alone. I'd be happy to be by his side, but it would mean more if his family could be there.

A little before the end of my shift that night, his heart monitor alert went off. Since I was still the duty nurse I rushed to his room. There was no need for the crash cart or the melodramatic "code blue" over the intercom. We all knew it was coming. I just wanted to be there. General Ellis's eyes were open, and he looked at me as I entered.

"I'm...still...fighting," he rasped. I went his bedside and knelt down, sliding one arm beneath his shoulders and holding him gently. Tears dripped down my face as I kissed his brow. "Will...you...stay?" he asked weakly.

"Yes, of course!" I said. I gently laid his sunken cheek against my breast, and whispered soft words of comfort. I could hear running feet in the hallway, and moments later Debbie Crenshaw rushed in with a 40-ish-looking woman in tow behind her.

"Dad?" the woman said. "Daddy?" She hurried to the other side of his bed, reaching out to touch his chest. He stirred slightly and his eyes focused on her. I helped to support his weight as he reached out to embrace his daughter.

"Ellen...love...you," he said. His breathing was more erratic now. Debbie and I locked eyes for a second, and she nodded. She very quietly stepped out and closed the door.

"Daddy," Ellen said softly, "I love you too. Brian and the kids and I will be fine. You've taken good care of us." She lovingly kissed his cheek and stroked his face. "Mom is waiting for you. Go be with her. Tell her we miss her, but we'll all be along in good time." The old man smiled, and then, as if he'd just been waiting to hear the words, he closed his eyes. His labored breathing faltered and stopped.

I reached out with one hand to silence the heart monitor. Debbie stepped back inside, and while I gently helped the sobbing Ellen to her feet, she drew the top sheet respectfully over him. Ellen's sobs trailed off after a moment, and I let her go. Turning to face the bed, I drew myself into a posture of attention and saluted him.

Maybe that wasn't appropriate from a civilian nobody who was just a nurse in a small town hospital. But I wanted to honor the old man who had given most of his adult life in the service of others. He hadn't been required to do a thing for me, but he had. He'd cut through the byzantine maze of red tape and endless request forms and pointless phone calls. Thanks to what he'd done, I had my hope back. My Chris was alive! The very least I could do was give him some comfort at the end of his life. I only hoped that I was able to help ease his passing, and offer some peace and closure to his daughter.

I lowered my right hand from my brow, and stooped to kiss the sheet over his forehead. "Thank you, from the depths of my being. May your soul fly free and find your loved ones as well as the peace that this life denied you. I won't forget you, ever."

I turned and took Ellen's arm. Together, Debbie and I walked her out so she wouldn't see the orderlies come to collect her father's remains. We found her husband in the lobby watching over three sleeping children. He quietly went to his wife's side, and I watched as he held her close. A moment later I told them how to reach the Chaplain if they should need him and started to leave them in the privacy of their grief. Before I could leave, though, Ellen turned to me again.

"Thank you, Nurse West, for calling me. I'm so glad I got to tell him goodbye!" she said. "I didn't get to talk to my Mom before...." Her voice trailed off, and then she went back to her family.

Debbie was watching me carefully, waiting to see if this event was going to reopen a gaping wound in my psyche. "I really owe that old man," I told her quietly. I proceeded to tell her the good news. Her eyes grew wide with shock, and then she beamed in joy.

"Oh Hannah!" she gasped. "That's INCREDIBLE!"

"What's incredible?" Jennifer asked, digging her car keys from her purse as she stepped out of the locker room. I grabbed my best friend in bear hug, startling her. As we walked out of the hospital she was looking at me as if she thought I was going nuts.

Finally I couldn't hold it back anymore and blurted, "Chris is alive!"

"A-A-ALIVE??!!" she shouted.

"Yes! He's hurt, but he's alive!" I said, simply unable to contain my emotions. We were outside in the parking lot now, and Jennifer looked up toward the night sky.

"Thank you," she whispered prayerfully. I too offered thanks. There were more tears, but these tears were different. Now, we cried happy tears.

Death has a way of putting things in perspective. As a nurse, Death was something I dealt with almost every day, but now it had taught me something beyond the purely clinical. From that point on I was determined to face each new day ready to fight, because every day we have is a precious gift. If we allow someone else to take that away from us, then they take our lives. Maybe we're still breathing, but the life in us drains away.

I decided from then on that no one was going to take that from me. My love for my husband is a shield that protects me, not a weight that drags me down. I decided that if death should separate us, then I would honor Chris by living on and cherishing every memory of our time together. For now, I had the sweet knowledge that he still lived. My spirit soared as Jen and I drove home. Where there is life, there is hope!

END PART 4