Happy Anniversary Dear

"Harry, I am very sorry this has happened. It was a plot that Carla and I came up with to embarrass Billy because he embarrassed me. Carla will confirm everything I say." Again I was exuding more confidence than I actually felt.

"You mean the same Carla who told me last night that the two of you were going to the mall today and the same Carla who told me that same lie again today. Help me with this Jess, I should believe her this time because . . .?"

This was looking really bad and I had no idea how to deal with it.

"Harry, I'm sorry! I really am, but you know me better than this. You know I love you and you know I would never cheat on you especially with an asshole like Billy Coombs" I pleaded.

"The Jess I know would never have lied to me in the first place and the Jess I know certainly would not have agreed to meet Billy anywhere, especially not here on his own home turf."

I was getting nowhere fast. The great plan Carla and I had made was beginning to look like just what it was, a very, very stupid idea!

"Harry, please let's go home and when we have both calmed down, I'm sure I can show you this is all a misunderstanding and that it isn't what it looks like."

"We have already been through that Jess. I thought it looked like you had lied when you said you were going to the mall and you came here instead and I've come to exactly the same conclusion as I did a few moments ago. It IS what it looks like."

"Harry would you please take me home where we can sit down in private and work this out . . . please!"

"You mean home where our telephone records will show that in the last two weeks Billy has called you twice and you called him once?"

I began to realize that the most frightening thing about all this was how calm Harry was. This is not a good sign. Harry gets upset when he's not sure what to do. He was obviously annoyed, angry even, but he wasn't so upset that he lost his temper. I think it would have been better if he had!

"Please Harry, take me home."

Harry took a deep breath then a look of sadness or something like that came over his face.

"I love you Jess and I want to consider everything I can before I decide on something serious as a separation or divorce."

Oh God! I thought my heart just stopped but I managed to blurt out, "Come on Harry. You're overreacting! This is not all that serious. I love you. We love each other. There's no way we are anywhere near a separation or divorce!" I pleaded.

"Jess, if I told you I was going to the golf course but instead you knew I had arranged to meet Rhonda James here and you could show that Rhonda and I had made at least three phone calls to arrange such a meeting and further you had already warned me about getting involved with her, are you sure it wouldn't be you threatening me with divorce?"

I knew the answer to that but I also knew it would not be in my best interests to say so.

I resorted to my earlier plea. "Harry, let's go home please."

He seemed to be thinking about that and I could feel a glimmer of hope but he dashed it with his next comment.

"I'm sure you can understand that I'm pretty upset Jess and although I do want, most of all to find some way past this, I'm not sure what the legal implications are if I take you back to our home. I've heard that if a spouse does that, it is an indication of acceptance of the lifestyle you were apparently trying to set up with that asshole Coombs. I think I need to talk to Tony Marsden." (Tony is our friend and lawyer)

"Assuming you will tell me the truth, the WHOLE truth and nothing but the truth, I'm willing to go home and give you the chance to get some of your things together BUT ONLY after Tony assures me that I have not put myself at a legal disadvantage by allowing you back in the house after you publicly met with Coombs behind my back."

What frightened me most was that I had heard something like that myself but I couldn't remember where. I had no choice and had to agree, hoping beyond all hope that Tony would advise us to go home and maybe give me a chance to work things out.

To my relief, Harry pulled out his cell phone and said, "The problem will be trying to find Tony on a Saturday night". He tried him at his home but his house keeper said he was out playing poker. She refused to give out Tony's cell phone number but did agree to try to reach him and ask him to call Harry's cell.

The next hour seemed an eternity.

Every time I tried to make a point, Harry repeated the "facts" right back at me. Before Tony called back, based on how this must look to Harry, I was convinced that, were matters reversed, I would throw Harry out on his ass.

This was definitely NOT helping.

Just as I was about to lose all hope, Tony called back.

Harry began, "Tony, I need some legal advice tonight before I make any interim decisions. Is there any chance you could see Jess and I, listen to our story and advise me before we go back home. I wouldn't ask on a Saturday night Tony but I think this is important to us," He argued.

Tony is our lawyer and also our friend so, after some resistance he said, "I'm busy right now. I'll call you back in 20 minutes or so."

I decided to try reason again. "Harry, I've hurt and embarrassed you and I'm truly sorry. Please give me a chance to make this up to you. I guarantee you will not regret it. I swear by everything that was ever important to me that I was only going to embarrass Billy in front of his friends. I didn't tell you about it because you would have stopped me and because I was embarrassed that it all turned out just like you said it would, I wanted to handle it myself and tell you about it later."

Harry seemed to be giving it some serious thought and my hopes were buoyed once again but before we moved Harry's cell rang.

It was Tony. "Harry, I'm at the club. I've got a serious poker game going on. Could you and Jess come here and we'll meet for a few minutes before the game and then maybe I could advise you then get back to my game?"

At that point I was ready to agree to anything that might get us by this but Harry said, "Are you sure Tony. We don't want to spoil your game."

I have only just realized how important Harry is to me and how awful it would be if the worst happened and I lost him. Right at that moment, I would have absolutely destroyed Tony's poker game in order to at least make some progress in dealing with this. Finally, after resisting somewhat, Harry agreed to drive over to the club to discuss the possible downside of us returning home to talk out this dilemma.

We arrived at the club and the parking lot was full. Damn! Too many golfers had stayed for dinner. If we aren't careful, my foolishness will be common knowledge around town by morning.

Reception told us that the poker game was in the banquet hall and that Mr. Marsh was definitely there. In my anxiety to get this done I literally ran down the hall and burst through the banquet room doors and into the room only to see a huge sign that said "Happy 10th Jessie and Harry". The room was beautifully decorated with streamers and balloons and all our friends and family there yelled out, "Surprise" as we entered.

Harry came up behind me and said, "Happy Anniversary Dear".

It took me a few moments but I managed to reply, "Happy Anniversary Dear . . . you son of a bitch!"

****

Harry -- Epilogue

***

I knew Jess wanted to have a party to celebrate our anniversary and I decided to have one but keep it a surprise for her. I had spent hours calling friends and family to invite them for the Saturday night but keep it from Jess.

It was looking like there would be no party after I accidentally overheard Jess on the phone on Thursday but on Saturday as Gord was driving me to the Horn, he related to me that contrary to his promise to me to keep what I had told him about Jess and Billy Coombs quiet, he decided that where his wife got involved, the promise no longer held.

When he confronted Carla with what we knew, she came clean about Jess's intention to embarrass Billy and he saw it as an excellent way to teach her a lesson but also to get her to the banquet room without letting on there was a surprise waiting for her there.

We had to delay going to the hall until everyone arrived so, instead of pretending to take her to dinner as per the original plan, we made up the deal about having to talk to Tony Marsh and him playing poker at the banquet hall.

As I said, I sometimes adjust my plans as I go.

As you might expect, Jess wasn't as amused as Gord and I were, and she had a harsh look for Carla for not warning her but she soon joined in the celebration of our wedding anniversary. She admitted later when we were alone how frightened she had been that she might actually lose me and so she decided to forgive the mean practical joke I pulled on her.

Sometimes the trouble is worth it!