tagHumor & SatireHardwood Is Good To Find

Hardwood Is Good To Find


Victory was Harriet's. Not only just Harriet's, but the entire girls' basketball team at Taft And Adams High School. They had just secured the state championship and barely beaten Cloverdale High School by a razor thin margin. Harriet had inadvertently been the heroine of the game by scoring a wild three point shot right at the buzzer and securing the victory. Now she was extremely excited and all the girls in the locker room were lauding her monumental accomplishment. Young 18-year-old Harriet could not remember feeling this ecstatic since that morning when she had experienced the most riveting, earth-splitting orgasm that she could ever recall having in her short, but sex-laden life of debauchery, deviance and dick-sucking. She thought that the rush of victory, the euphoria of a winning moment, the adrenaline explosion of the procuring of a daunting goal, was much like the tingling vortex of good, memorable sex, spinning and churning her into a hellcat hungry for wee wee and the juice it contained, whether in her mouth or in her overfucked pussy that all the boys had gotten a shot at and that she had allowed to extinguish their carnal desires in. Now her fellow teammates were making much out of her victorious moment of truth where she had prevailed gallantly.

"What a shot!" Bunnie Mounts exclaimed, now in nothing but her bra and pantes as she prepared to take a shower. She patted Harriet on the shoulder in congratulations. "You were amazing! That was like, a good fucking shot! Tee hee!"

Bunnie's red hair was frizzled like it always was, this time from the exertion of the game instead of from crawling out of the back seat of some football player's luxury car after he had fucked her more than willing cunny numerous times.

"Awwwwww, thank you, Bunnie," Harriet replied, self-deprecatingly, still embarrassed by all the attention as she still sat on a bench in her team uniform, pondering their victory. "I just try to do my very best."

"Well, you sure did that," Bunnie said, giggling as she began to take off her brassiere, unhousing her big mammary mountains from their domain so she could get in the shower. "And I'm so excited now. Billy Wankerman said that he was going to take me out tonight to celebrate us winning. Gee whiz, I'm so giddy about it. Billy said that he wants to fuck me and to get me to suck his penis too. Tee hee! And I've heard that he has a great big fuckstick! Goody, goody! I figure I owe him at least a fuck or two. After all, he did help me with my math homework the other day."

"Yes," Harriet replied with a smile as she smoothed back her long head of blonde hair. "He definitely has a big wee wee. I can tell you that from experience. And he knows how to use it. I hope you two have fun tonight."

"Thanks, Harriet," Bunnie said in a voice that sounded like all the sex talk had already gotten her temperature up. She shucked her panties and tossed them in a locker as she strode to the shower. "Tee hee hee! I know we will."

Harriet just sat there on the bench basking in the warmth of all the attention that she had purloined from the other players. But she wasn't thinking of herself in a conceited or haughty fashion. Harriet, much like her mother, had a healthy self-esteem and took all her achievements in stride. It was one of several Humper characteristics, those including: big boobs, a ravenous sex drive and an innate ability to get all the boys within a five mile radius. Harriet looked down at her big bosom that pressed the front of her tank top team jersey out in a swollen plethora of titflesh.

"Hi, girls," Harriet sweetly spoke to her breasts as she placed her hands on them and felt their nipples spring to attention under both her touch and the cool breeze that occasionally swept through the girls' locker room when someone entered or exited it.

"You're my pretty pumpkins. Gosh, I love having big boobies like momma. They make me feel like I can conquer the world."

Harriet was interrupted from her musings on her endowments by her best friend, the almost equally buxom and curvaceous Missy Cummings, as she sat down beside her and put an arm around her shoulder.

"Oh, sweetie," Missy spoke in a friendly tone to her close friend. "You really saved us today. That was an amazing shot. What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing," Harriet replied as she turned and smiled at her friend warmly and noticed that Missy had already showered and dressed. She was wearing a little orange halter top and some khaki slacks. "I'm just not used to getting this much attention............from anyone but the boys. They always like to slide their big wee wees in me and get it on, because, tee hee, they know how much I like fucking."

"Hee hee!" Missy laughed, her gorgeous eyes lighting up as she did. "You sure do! You are definitely your mother's daughter. But hey, that is nothing to be ashamed of. I like to fuck more than I like to shop. Ha ha! And that is saying a lot!"

"Sure is," Harriet agreed, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "Cause you like to fucking shop like a motherfucker."

The two girls chatted several minutes more as the buzz of excited teammates surrounded them, each of the girls so lit up and psyched by the win as they showered and dressed.

"Want to go celebrate tonight?" Missy asked Harriet as she stood up from the bench and adjusted her deep-cupped brassiere and pressed her boobs together to massage the tension out of them that she had accrued earlier as they bounced and jostled when she raced up and down the basketball court. "Jimmy and Lester want us to come over later on. Jimmy's parents are out of town and he has scored a whole keg of fucking beer. Plus, Jimmy said that he wanted to have a little fun with you. Wink wink! Tee hee hee! But watch out, girl, cause Lester is all mine!"

"You better be careful," Harriet said with a raised eyebrow as she chuckled in amused detachment. "They don't call him Lester The Female Big Tittie Molester for nothing. That motherfucker is one wily son of a bitch. I know from experience. He likes to get a girl with big knockers and satisfy himself with her boom booms every way that he can. Not that I minded it too much. Hee hee hee! We had some fucking fun in the sack, me and Lester did."

"Well, I'll see you tonight," Missy responded after she laughed outrageously at what Harriet had told her. "Oh, by the way. I just remembered something. Coach Hardwood said that he wanted to see you in his office as soon as you get the chance. He probably just wants to congratulate you again on that shot. After all, it was a doozy. I've got to run, girl. Call me later."

"I will," Harriet assured her as her best friend pranced toward the door in her usual sensual style, her big ass swishing dramatically from side to side. "Bye, Missy."

Several more girls complimented Harriet again as they filed out of the locker room and she smiled at each of them and thanked them with the polite manner that she always had. Her mother had definitely raised her right and she was always courteous and kind to others. Harriet decided that she would go check in at Coach Hardwood's office before she took her shower. She always liked talking to him. Harriet found him handsome and charming and was glad that the school had hired him as the new coach for what would be her final season playing for Taft And Adams High School. Harriet knew that John Hardwood was a married man and she grinned inwardly as she thought of how lucky a woman Henrietta Hardwood was to get to enjoy John in the sack every night.

Harriet exited the locker room and strode down the steps near the basketball court and to the door marked 'Coach John Hardwood' and softly rapped on it right before smoothing her sweaty hair into place and making sure her tank top and shorts were not too wrinkled and disheveled. When the door swung open and Coach Hardwood peeked around the corner of it, Harriet nearly lost her breath.

"C-C-Coach Hardwood," she stammered, always a little intimidated by him outside the setting of a game.

"Harriet!" Coach John Hardwood exclaimed, beaming as he saw his favorite player at the door. "It's my MVP! Come on in!"

"You are about the 50th person to call me that today," Harriet said, blushing and taking a seat as she looked the coach over. "I'm going to start getting a big head if you guys keep on."

Coach Hardwood was changed out of the suit he always wore when he was coaching a game and now had on a polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. Harriet thought that he looked very casual, almost too casual.

"Well, a lot of women say that I have a big head too," Hardwood said slyly as he gave her a coy wink and his blue eyes gave her the once over, surveying every inch of her.

Harriet was surprised by the comment, but was sure she knew what he meant by it. Her coach pulled a rolling chair out from behind his desk and slid it up next to hers before he sat down and leaned toward her to talk.

"Missy said that you wanted to see me," Harriet spoke in a slow voice as she checked out her coach from a closer perspective and read the smug look that was almost slathered sneakily across his visage. "What did you want to see me about?"

"I wanted to congratulate you again, Harriet," Hardwood replied, answering her almost mechanically as his right hand brushed against her shoulder. "Oh, yes, and I also wanted to talk to you some more about playing basketball, cause it seems that nobody personifies basketballs, er I mean, basketball, like you do. Know what I mean, Harriet.....hump, hump, Humper?"

Harriet thought that the coach was acting awfully strange and she was beginning to like it. She beamed and looked deep into his watery blue eyes that by this point were boring a hole through her as they dropped below her shoulders.

"You are saying that you want me to brush up on the fundamentals of the game? Is that what you are saying to me? Is that what you are trying to tell me, Coach?"

"Something like that," John said, almost wickedly as his hand went to her bare knee. "I thought maybe we could play a little basketball together. What do you think, sweetie?"

"Gee whiz!" Harriet gave him her phony valley girl persona that she always pulled out of her bag of tricks first. "Sure, Coach! Let's do that!"

Coach John Hardwood reached behind her and locked the door to his office with a resounding click that sent a wave of hope to the depth of the young Humper's cunny as she felt her clit get erect and the rest of her femininity tingle with the hope that she always knew sprang eternal every once in a while. As her mother had instructed her as a young girl with sage-like words of wisdom as she paraphrased one of the great songs that Dean Martin had made famous, "Every wee wee needs some cunny sometimes." It was, like most of what momma had taught her, absolutely true.

"You ready to play?" Hardwood asked her, more of a suggestion than a question as he sat down and put his hands on her shoulders. "I figured if I were going to play basketball, then you had the best basketballs I have ever seen. Don't you think so, little lady? Don't you like to get with a man and bounce those babies around?"

Coach Hardwood dispensed with the euphemisms and reaching down with a maniacal grin, he placed his hands on the twin swells of Harriet's giant, mountainous jugs.

"Oh, Coach! What are you doing?" Harriet squealed with a smile as he squeezed her bosom very forcefully. "Oh, I know what you are doing!"

"And let me help you! Tee hee!"

Grabbing her jersey with a giggle, Harriet yanked it over her head in one slick, fluid motion and pulled it away from her, tossing it on Hardwood's desk. He gasped as he glimpsed her young H cup hooters straining against her brassiere, begging to be released from their captivity. Harriet obliged him and quickly unfastened her bra and tossed it to the floor, smiling as she watched the crotch of her favorite coach's shorts bulge, practically turning into a tent.

"Oh, shit!" John Hardwood cried as his hands returned to the place he had previously had them. "Now these are what I mean by fucking basketballs! Whooooooooo!"

Hardwood began to squeeze and fondle his high school beauty's titties wildly, greedily kneading them, his eyes ablaze with lust and his crotch engorged with titillation.

"Jiminy Christmas, Coach Hardwood!" Harriet squealed, almost innocently. "That feels good to my boom booms!"

The coach stopped squeezing them and began to slap at them, making them clap together and bound up and down on her chest heavily and noisily.

"See, Harriet?" he said in an official, instructing voice. "I've always told you that dribbling is one of the most important parts of the game. See what I mean?"

"Yes, Coach," Harriet moaned. "It feels good to my tittie bombs when you bounce and dribble them. It feels fucking great. And it looks like it feels great to Mr. Wee Wee too. Mmmmmm, boy! He sure looks happy under there!"

"Oh, shit!" John grunted as he pressed her boobs together and tweaked the nipples hard. "I have waited so long to do this. I love these big fuckers."

John Hardwood was horny and shameless in his pleasurable assault on Harriet's bosom. Her head went back and her eyes closed, her mouth stretching into a moan that came from somewhere deep within her. It was almost as if her coach was a starving man who had just been taken to a buffet. After bouncing her titan chest balloons around for a while to simulate a set of basketballs, John went to suckling at her bloated, blimp-sized sweat glands, as his wife often pointed out, to his chagrin, what the female breast really was. This unromantic portrayal never prevented him from attacking Henrietta's bouncers with glad abandon, and it sure wasn't going to fucking stop him from savoring Harriet's bountiful boom booms that he had wanted to ravage since he first became the girl's basketball coach at Taft And Adams.

"Oh, shit! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuckity fuck fuck!" Harriet screamed in a slew, a morass of profanity that was almost nonsensical in its excess. "Oh, motherfucking, wee wee sucking, tittiefucking, boobie sucking shit! That feels fucking good as a motherfucker! You are making me want to fuck so fucking bad! Oh, fucking frisky fucksticks in motherfucking Fucksville! I want to fucckkkkkkkkkkkkk!"

Her coach's lips were flying all over both of her twin juggies as Harriet smiled at the boner still expanding ever larger at the crotch of his shorts. She wanted to yank that fucker out in a jiffy and see how big the fucker really was. As he worshipped her bazooms with his mouth, Harriet reached deftly toward the hard crotch of his khakis and slid the zipper down with the greatest of ease and worked his rigid wee wee through the opening of his boxer shorts in the joyful effortless way she had done it so many times in her past when she had scavenged for wee wees.

"Wowsers!" Harriet gasped, her eyes agape as she slipped his instrument out into the open air and surveyed its protracted length and girth. "Geez, Coach, this is one big fucker! Hee hee! He must be a nine incher, this hard son of a bitch! Mmmmmmmmm!"

John rested from his sucking of his MVP's titties and leaned back in his rolling chair ever so slightly as he felt the soft, skillful hands of this chesty beauty slide up and down his penis like something out of a sweet dream. Harriet gave him piercing eye contact, staring hard at him as she now jacked his cock off with ferocity and he moaned and breathed loudly under the efficacious efforts of her ministry. This little tart was making her coach feel mighty tingly.

"Shit, little girl!" John gasped, the words seeming to be almost a strain to get out of his lips. "You sure know how to make a man's dick feel good."

"Well, I got my hand on the main pump," Harriet replied in a schoolgirl voice as she glanced down at her handiwork for a fleeting second as she continued her pleasurable benevolence. "And I know how to prime this fucker better than anybody. Gee, Coach, it looks like you have a little pre-cum leak here. Let's put that to some good use."

Harriet let her palm slide up around the head of his wee wee and let the pre-cum slather her palm and get it shiny with his fluid, then slid her hand back down on his trunk, using the semen as lubrication to allow her to slide against his erection with less resistance and less friction and skin irritation. Harriet practically swathed his wee wee with the sticky excretion that only caused her present hand job to be more speedy and slippy and a hell of a lot more fun. Harriet's hand made a wet smacking sound as the pre-cum wee wee juice caused her to loose her grip, if only momentarily, on her coach's proudly erect ding-a-ling.

"Oh, don't you dare stop, you little trollop!" Hardwood bellowed, his voice sounding out of control and surreal, as this teenage girl jerked his cock unbelievably hard. "I am just about fucking there! I'm going to come all over your big motherfucking titties! Almost! Almost there!"

Harriet knew he was right about that. She could occasionally see little droplets of jism seep around his urethra as she had seen with many men and the experiences that she had with their wee wees. The young, lithe Humper, now naked to the waist and bobbing as she stroked, leaned and almost crouched forward, taking John's wee wee in both of her tiny hands and pushing it roughly between her melon boobs without missing a beat. Harriet squeezed her titties together and worked his pecker up and down between them, guiding him briskly on a ride in the track of her considerable cleavage.

"Tittiefuck me! Give it to momma's boobie woobies! Mmmmmmmmmmm! Come for momma! Come, baby! Fire that wee wee like it's a semen shooting assault rifle of love! Do it!"

And he did. Coach Hardwood, as if on cue with her sultry voice, slid his dick upward one final time and then let go with a barrage of squirts that were like ropes of jizz leaping from his pee wee head.

"Ooooooooooo! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" John grunted, unable to speak a single word as he came in shots of soaring glory that pounced upward towards the ceiling of his office.

"Yes! Yes!" Harriet screamed as she had his wee wee in a tittie clench. "Higher! Higher! Make that jism fly up there, baby! Take a long shot! It's a three pointer! It's a fucking three point shot!"

The young whore giggled as her coach's jizz splashed against the ceiling as he kept coming, her eyes beaming with pride at his wee wee. Several of the shots of semen came cascading down in her direction as Harriet Humper opened her thick lips at exactly the right moment and the wee wee juice landed in her horny mouth perfectly.

"He shoots! He scores!" Harriet cried out with a laugh as she gulped down what she had caught and then kissed Hardwood's hard wood. "What a shot, sweetie! That was a three point ejaculation! Tee hee hee! And now I reward you with the most prestigious honor possible. You are the worthy recipient of the Wee Wee MVP Award. And here it is!"

As Harriet flipped to her back on the desktop and waited for her coach to get hard again so he could fuck her, Coach Hardwood felt thankful for having such a talented player on his team.


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