Harvest of Expectations Ch. 06

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Jim exhaled a few times so that Hildy wouldn't see that he was angry. He decided not to tell her about the encounter. What would be the point of upsetting her?

Jim drove into the driveway at Hildy's house. He was about to shut off the motor to the Rustmobile and go to the door. He had his hand on the ignition when he saw Hildy emerge from the back corner of the house where he would have gone to knock at the back door.

She was walking fast at first, and as she approached the car she started to break into a run. She was carrying nothing, not even a purse. She opened the passenger's door and bundled herself into the car. Jim had never seen the expression that she had on her face. She looked afraid or angry or ...he didn't know.

"Let's get going," she said as she panted out of breath.

"Hildy, what's the matter"

"Let's please just get going now!"

Jim backed the car out of the driveway and Hildy didn't say anything. He had turned onto the main road before she spoke.

"What did he say to you?"

He began to say "not much" but he remembered how those little white lies were so troublesome when he told them to her.

"It wasn't very nice, Hildy."

"Please tell me. I've got to know."

He knew he would have to tell her and he knew she would be hurt by it. He decided that he would tell her all of it.

"I'll tell you, Hildy. Let's find a place to park the car so I can tell you without having to drive at the same time."

"We can go to Darlene's apartment."

"I know a place that's closer."

There were plenty of parking lots with empty spaces that he could have pulled into, but it was still cold on that March evening. After driving five minutes he was pulling into the parking lot of their old standby diner. In a few more minutes they were in a booth in the back.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Please, just tell me," she said.

"Hildy, we can't sit in a booth in a restaurant and not order some food."

She paused for a second and gritted her teeth. The waitress approached the table, her pad ready.

"Alright, order me a salad and coffee."

The waitress wrote it down.

"Cheeseburger and coffee for me," Jim said.

"Fries?" the waitress asked.

"Yeah, an order of fries, too."

The waitress left and Hildy leaned forward and grabbed Jim by the wrist.

"Now, tell me."

Jim drew a deep breath.

"The most important part was that he told me not to see you anymore."

Hildy drew in a short gasp.

"Hildy, I told him to shove it."

Hildy rolled her eyes.

"You told my father to shove it?"

"Not in so many words. I said that we would see each other as long as we both wanted to. That would be more accurate."

Hildy let out a little whimper, but stifled it.

"You told him that? Did you mean it?"

"Of course I did, Hildy."

Hildy was smiling just a little, but she wouldn't let go of his wrist.

"You really meant it?" she asked again.

"C'mon Hildy. What did I say?"

But, she was still clutching his wrist.

"What else did he say?"

"He said he knew that the only reason I was dating you is that we were having sex all the time. He said it would be the only reason I would have anything to do with you. I set him straight."

The waitress brought their food and refilled their coffee cups. Hildy had to let go of Jim's wrist.

"What do you mean, 'set him straight'?"

"Just the facts. I told him that we haven't slept together and that there were other reasons that I would want to date you."

"You did?" Hildy gasped, and her face had turned red.

"He didn't believe me, of course, but I really don't care."

"What were the reasons you told him?" Hildy asked.

It wasn't only white lies that caused Jim trouble. He could now see that the truth could do it, too.

"Please Hildy, don't make me tell. Let's eat. Our food will get cold."

"I'm having a salad. Please tell me."

"C'mon, Hildy, I'm not good at this. I could tell you some other time."

"I need to know."

"If I say it you'll be embarrassed, or you'll stop acting natural. Let's not..."

"Please," she whispered and leaned forward and stared into his eyes.

"You might be disappointed," he warned.

"Please," she whispered again.

Jim drew a breath. He took a sip of coffee to stall for a few seconds to help him find the right words, or perhaps to screw up the courage to say the words.

"Hildy, I told your father—and it was the plain truth—that I like being with you because...because..."

She clutched his arm again.

"Please," she whispered once again and Jim could tell that her voice was cracking a little bit.

"Because you're such a nice person," he said all at once.

Hildy pushed out her breath and covered her mouth with the hand that wasn't clutching Jim's wrist. Her eyes popped open wider than Jim thought that they could. She stayed frozen like that.

"Hildy, I know it isn't much. I was afraid you'd be disappointed. I'm sorry."

"Do you mean it?" she asked

"I told you already it's the truth."

Her eyes were welling with tears. Jim was thinking that she would make a scene in the diner, but she wiped the tears away with her sleeve.

"I can't think of a time when someone said anything nicer to me."

"Then, it's overdue," Jim told her.

"Jim, what can I say?"

Jim decided that not telling her everything would be like one of those white lies that he was always regretting. He took another breath.

"There's more that I should have told your father, but it was a heated moment and I didn't think fast enough."

Hildy sat still and waited for him.

"The rest of it, Hildy, is that just knowing that you want to be with me, or that you miss me or you're thinking of me, makes me believe that maybe there's something good inside me, too. No matter how long we know each other, that feeling will never leave me."

Her eyes were welling up again, but Jim was more confident that she would keep it under control. He kept silent for a little while to let her get composed.

"I don't know what else to tell you, Hildy."

"That was a lot," she conceded.

She was smiling again. It made his soul-baring catharsis worthwhile.

"Want a french fry?" he asked

She was already reaching into his plate and dipping one into the puddle of catsup.

"To hear that makes everything worth it," she said.

"What does that mean, Hildy?"

"There was a big blowup at our house today. That's why I had to call you. My father figured out what we had planned at Darlene's apartment. He tricked me into giving it away."

"That would explain the big meeting at MacIver's Bar," Jim said.

"He told me that if I stayed over at Darlene's he would never let me back in the house again. My mother was tearing her hair out. He said some other nasty things, too. He told us he was going to meet you at the bar. I was afraid he would follow you to the house when you picked me up. That's why I wanted to get out of there fast."

"Hildy, when I saw you running out of the house you looked like you were afraid of him."

"I am. He can be so cruel sometimes."

Jim shook his head.

"I meant afraid of being slapped around by him."

"No," Hildy answered, "sometimes I wish he would. It would be better than the things he says to me."

"Hildy, don't say that. You can't..."

Hildy stopped him.

"He's never hit me or my mother as far as I know. He hurts people in other ways."

"It's up to you Hildy. I wouldn't put up with it. You've got your own income. You could get your own place. But, like I said, it's up to you."

Hildy shrugged.

I know," she said, "but I was hoping to save some money, and my mother would be upset if I moved out."

"Or you could ask Darlene if she wants a roommate. You two are best friends. You could split expenses."

Hildy was blushing again.

"We'll see," she said. "Right now I was thinking that we could skip the movie and take Darlene up on her offer."

Jim had forgotten abut the grand plan that seemed so foolproof until just that afternoon. He thought it had fallen apart, but it still had some life.

"When I think about that it seems like it would be so good," Jim said.

"Yes," she said and her smile was beaming and her breathing fast and shallow.

"It can't be tonight, Hildy. It's one of the hardest things I've ever said, but it has to be this way. After everything that's happened, it would be like we were sneaking away just to spite your father and I won't have it that way."

"But no," she pleaded, "it wouldn't be and we've tried so many times. And, besides he deserves it."

Jim shook his head.

"You see, it would be like that. You just said it, yourself. It shouldn't be about your father. It's about you and me. We would be doing it and in the back our minds would be that we were doing it because we were defying him. That would take away from it. Maybe if it was last summer I would just go for it. It's different now."

But, Jim..."

"Last September when you fell asleep in my apartment I promised myself that someday we would be together at the right time, right place and of our choosing. This would be the right time and place. But in a way it would be his choice. He would be pushing us into it. We would feel him right alongside us in the bed."

Hildy was looking down at the table in front of her.

"Like I said Hildy, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I know it's right. Please understand. Someday, we'll make it right."

Hildy kept looking down and bit her lip once. Then, she lifted her head. She reached across the table and took his last French fry.

"What movie do you want to go to?" she asked.

They decided to see "The Sting". As they walked out into the cold air in the parking lot she curled her arm around his.

"You're full of surprises," she said.

She made him stop walking for a second and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's a down payment for 'someday'," she said.

They got into the Rustmobile. As he started the car she had one last question for him.

"Did my father say anything else about me?"

Jim shook his head.

"No Hildy, he didn't."

It was another one of those white lies, but Jim thought he would take a chance. It would only have hurt her and he judged it not worth repeating, anyway.

He dropped Hildy off at her house at about midnight. They sat in his car, in her driveway, in the cold for about fifteen minutes. They held each other, not saying much, kissing goodnight.

He started out on the two-hour drive to his apartment at school. He was thinking of Hildy, alone in her bed in her father's house. He realized that she could have been with him in the bed in the spare bedroom in Darlene's apartment at that very moment.

The road was dark and it was late, but he was wide awake. His eyes followed the headlight beam that cut a path through the night for him to follow.

"Am I a fool or a wise man? Am I a man at all?"

He thought he was a man, or at least trying to be one. As for fool or sage, he could not answer. The night had not gone according to his expectations of only a few hours before. All he knew was that had to keep following that headlight beam through the night.

TO BE CONTINUED

12
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5 Comments
Dancewithme2Dancewithme2over 9 years ago
Great Writing

This was just another reason why I think Autumn Writer is one of a small handful of highest quality authors in this genre. How does a man not love Hildy? How do we not root for Jim to grow up, she he loves Hildy, and take the bull by the horns? These stories are irresistible.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
unemployment

It is bit itonic yh zmr Wertz tried to pir Hildy up with an apprentice machinist as a stable working condition as within 10 years after the date of this story the unemployment rate for machinists approached 100percent.

UpHillAllUpHillAllalmost 11 years ago

Jim is both a fool and a wise man, and that's why your story is captivating !

bruce22bruce22almost 11 years ago
Beautifully done

A very interesting confrontation between an anxious father and a not completely convinced suitor. The father translates all the events according to his own experience and does not feel that the high flyer will do anything other than dump the tall gawky gal. Or does the father really believe that engineers are dumb?? Now if he was studying for his MBA------

Sidney43Sidney43almost 11 years ago

You did a great job of capturing the essential unfairness of a confrontation between a difficult father and a young man who is dating his daughter. Jim was forced to deal with a mean spirited adult on his home turf without the years of experience to deal with it and did well IMHO. It is natural that Hildy's father would think they are having sex, because that is what young men and women do and very likely what he did when he was Jim's age. Hildy is being abused, not physically, but verbally and mentally.

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