Having Fun with Dycke and Payne Ch. 13

Piker smile at her and said, "No! Now that my wife is gone, I can try to catch up on the work that has been piling up on my desk. I may be here all night."

Marti threw her bag down, on the chair, and started doing sit-ups. With each one she said, "I am going to enjoy killing him. I am going to enjoy killing him. I am going to enjoy killing him..."

When Dycke got home, he picked up his satellite phone and called Bob to give him aheads-up, for the upcoming day's events. The attendant woke Bob up and escorted him to the flight deck, to take the call.

Bob put on the headset, and asked Dycke what was the problem.

Dycke said, "Bob, you are not to say a word, until I finish, because you will scare the pilot and wake up the women. There is enough trouble ahead, for both of us, as it is. The company, which I made an offer for today, the same company that makes the wedding dress, is run by Fiona's former boss. He loves her like a daughter, and she regards him as a surrogate father. She is not to know this. She is not getting that wedding dress. When she gets there, the dress is going to be irreparable, and Fiona will throw a fit. I told him he was nuts, however, he told me to leave it to him and his people. They will take care of Fiona. He is even going to have it filmed at the salon for us to watch, later. He is going to have custom dresses made for Fiona, Payne, and Marti, as well as the mothers, all of the bridesmaids and female agents. You should have seen what he put Marti through tonight. I had everyone in the office, take pictures on their cell phones, to record the event. Before he told me to put Marti on the phone, he told me to leave the office, for my own safety. I could not believe it, until I saw what he had her do, so I had Gracie, at my side, while we watched. When Marti picked up the phone, he said a few pleasantries, and then in a commanding voice had her stand at attention. She stood there, for five minutes, before she realized what was going on and demanded to know to whom she was speaking. I do not know what their relationship was, but he ordered her to wear a dress to Fiona's wedding. Marti flatly refused. At the end of the conversation, he said to her, that she was going to do exactly, as he said. She buckled and said okay. Marti would not buckle to a Mack truck, approaching her at sixty miles an hour. She said 'yes' to this person, in under ten minutes. Finally, since Fiona and this man, had such a close relationship, I asked him if he would 'give her away', at her wedding. He said he would be honored. I told him, I would have to clear it with you first, and I would let him know. I am finished Bob. You can speak, now."

"Dycke, can I go back to sleep, now. You seem to have taken care of everything very well. I was going to stay out of the way in Paris, anyway. I understand there is a second Paris "Under-ground." If I hear an explosion above ground, I will start making a third Paris, until you tell me it is all clear. Good night."

Ch.62. Paris: A Shopping Paradise

As they checked into the hotel, Fiona heard a screeching voice that could only be one person: her mother. She turned around and her mother was charging at her, at the speed of light. Fiona braced herself for the impact, and hugged her mother, like a baby bear. There were tears in both their eyes. They talked frequently; however, they had not seen each other in five years.

Fiona asked her mother how it felt to be retired.

Alvena replied, "I am not retired. I work for your boss. Who do you think supplied these lovely rooms?"

"Yes mom. I am sure it was harrowing work. Your job description sounds extremely demanding, and the thought of traveling to those terrible places must be terrifying."

"Where do you think you got your brains and toughness from Fiona? I have to beat the bushes, ahead of you, and make sure that the hotel rooms and dinner reservations are made, prior to your arrival."

Fiona said, "Mom, don't make me laugh in front of the people I am sworn to protect."

Alvena replied, "Why, they do not know you have a sense of humor."

The group that had been listening to this family reunion broke into laughter.

Alvena looked around and said, "Have you been putting on your mean act again?"

Fiona blushed, bright red, before Bob came to her rescue.

"Mrs. Brooks, I am Robert Short. We have spoken many times on the telephone, and it is my pleasure to meet you."

Alvena took Bob by his arm, started walking towards the elevators with him. She said, "Bob, I have a million questions for you, but the first one is 'How did you knock her panties off, and convince her to marry you."'

Fiona could not believe her ears. Her mother made many embarrassing remarks about her, while she was growing up. Now she had taken the man she was going to marry, and the first question she asked him was about 'knocking her panties off.' This was going to take some getting used to, and she would have to keep close tabs on her mother.

Fiona looked around and realized she was the only one remaining at the check in desk. Everyone else, followed her mother, and Bob, to the elevators, hanging on to her mother's every word. She ran to catch up with them, not daring to let them get into an elevator, without her. There was no telling what damage her mother could do to her, on the way up to their rooms.

Alvena held court in Fiona's suite, for an hour, before everyone went to his or her separate rooms, to rest. Fiona needed an aspirin, desperately, because her mother had told so many embarrassing stories, about her youth, she had a splitting headache. Bob had so much ammunition to use against her; she could never live it down. She lay down on the bed, with her mother, cuddling with her like a child, wondering if she should kill her now, or wait until after the wedding. They had been apart for so long, that the simple act of touching made Fiona realizes how much she had missed her mom's presence, in her life. She vowed to herself, never to ever let that happen, again. She wondered how her mother had handled the separation. Alone, in an empty home, with a moderate income, which she augmented monthly, to be sure she wanted for nothing. Fiona wondered how lonely her mother must have been. She would apologize for her lack of thoughtfulness, later.

At 12:30 in the afternoon, their limousines let the women off, one street north of the T.E.I. salon and everyone knew they were in trouble, when Alletta asked Payne, "Darling, do you remember the check I ripped up, at your graduation? Would you happen to have another one on you?"

Payne said, "Motherrrrr!"

Everyone laughed and Alletta said, "I was only joking, sort of."

Bacillica took Alletta's arm and said to her, "One month, and fifty thousand dollars each. What would we have done, with the other twenty-nine days?"

That brought a very large smile to Alletta's face, because she knew she was not alone. They were in a shopper's paradise, and she was a 'Master Shopper.'

Each store was a jewel, and each jewel was more precious than the one before it. When they reached the salon entrance, they were not impressed. It had a frontage of twenty feet, with one fairly nice gown on display, on each side of the doorway. They had hoped for much more. However, as long as Fiona's dress was there, was properly fitted, and looked, as radiant as it did in Atlanta, everyone would be satisfied. They stepped inside the front door, into a dusty, medium-size waiting area and rang a bell to receive service. An elderly man, with a cloth tape measure and straight pins protruding from every piece of fabric on his body, asked how he might serve them.

In French, Fiona introduced herself saying, "I am Fiona Brooks. I have a one o'clock appointment, for a dress, with this lot and style number on reserve. I am here to be fitted, and for the dress to be altered."

The elderly man said, "I must get the matron and she will take care of you, personally."

A few moments passed by, when a stunning, fifty-ish year-old woman, impeccably dressed, came forward and greeted them. She asked if everyone spoke French or if English was preferred.

Payne said French was fine with her. Bacillica, Alletta, and Alvena preferred English.

The matron's name was Suzette and she made everyone feel at home. She apologized for the dowdy entrance, but explained it kept many people away from the salon; they did not wish to serve. She said if they would follow her into the stage area, the fitting could begin.

Everyone and walked through a narrow entrance, into a near-perfect circular mirrored room, about sixty feet in diameter. It had raised runways, fitting platforms, heavily tufted chairs, couches, and tables. The lighting was dramatic and could be changed to fit the mood.

From offstage, arguing could be heard. Suzette excused herself, to see if she could find the reason for this dispute. Her voice could be heard joining the discord and it only got louder and louder. After what seemed like an eternity, ten women of varying ages, plus Suzette, brought Fiona's dress out front. Not one face was happy, not one head was up.

Several of the women lifted Fiona's dress off the table and Fiona smiled, because it was gorgeous, and she started to stand up.

Suzette motioned to her to sit back down, which Fiona did. They turned the dress around and the back of the gown was destroyed.

Fiona screamed, "Noooo!" She wanted to kill. She did not want to kill; she was going to kill, whoever was responsible for doing this to her dress. She stood up slowly, and walked to the dress and asked Suzette, who was responsible for the damage to the dress.

Suzette said to her, "That does not matter. You need a wedding dress and we are going to make you one, starting right now. Get undressed."

Fiona said, "I want my dress."

Suzette looked at her and said, menacingly, "I told you to get undressed and I mean, get undressed now." Suzette looked over her right shoulder to the women who had brought out the destroyed dress and said, "Help her undress."

Fiona was mobbed. She was naked in seconds, and she felt helpless for the first time in her life. She was roughed up and pulled up onto a fitting platform, and ordered to stand straight and stand still. There were tape measures everywhere: her arms, her neck, her legs, her waist, her hips, even her feet were measured. Nothing was left to chance.

No one except Marti, ordered Fiona around. Here, in France, 10 fragile, little women, in black dresses, armed only with straight pins and tape measures, handled Fiona, like a stray cat.

Payne could not get over the look on Fiona's face. She had never seen her so confused. Fiona was always in charge, always three or four steps ahead of everyone else. Buying a wedding dress had her totally, out of her depth. She started laughing, until Suzette walked over to her, and said, "I understand you are getting married, also. When will that be happening?"

Payne said, "One week before Fiona's wedding."

"Oh, how wonderful, have you picked out your dress?"

"No, I just started looking."

Suzette nodded and walked towards the back of the showroom and yelled, "Ladies." Ten more women came out from the back of the showroom, and listened to Suzette.

Suzette turned and pointed a finger at Payne and sweetly said, "Come here, darling."

Payne grabbed hold of her mother's arms and said, "No, thank you."

Suzette said to her staff, "She is shy. Undress her carefully, but undress her."

Payne yelled, "Mom!"

Alletta looked at her daughter, smiled, and said, "Are you sure you do not have another check on you?"

Payne replied, "I will get you for this, mother." Moments later, Payne was as naked as Fiona was, and suffering the same humiliation: being poked, prodded and measured, by people telling her to remain straight and still, every other second.

Suzette was pleasantly speaking with Bacillica and Bookman Alletta when she realized the time, and said if everyone were hungry, she would place an order.

They nodded their heads and Suzette made a call. This was pre-staged by Lord Whitbred and the call was just to verify the delivery time.

They did not deliver nibble food, or salads or grass-like substances or yogurts. They delivered hot food on Sterling Silver trays with bone china settings, and stainless steel silverware. There was foie gras with truffles, oysters, and quiche of every type, duck confit, and cassoulet as the main courses, with crispy baguettes for dipping into the delicious sauces. Dessert included crème Brule, chocolate mousee, and tarte tatim and tarte fruite. Of course, no French meal would be complete without champagne, red, and white wines.

When the setup for the buffet was complete, Fiona and Payne were handed two plain white gowns so they could cover up. They thought it was a little late for that, because all the men that had set up the buffet had already had an eye-full, and were now gone. They were about to join the line at the buffet when Suzette intercepted them and told them to sit down and she would serve them. They thought that was very kind of her, because the robes did not come with belts. They were wrong.

Suzette brought them to small plates containing four ounces of food each: Two ounces of quiche and two oysters. They each received a glass of sparkling water.

Payne was sure this was a joke. Fiona was ready to go for her gun.

Fiona asked, "What is the meaning of this?"

Suzette replied politely, "We are about to put fabric around your body. We cannot have you go all puffy, in your belly, with food and drink and get a proper fit. This evening, at dinner, you may have a proper meal. Tomorrow you must have breakfast before 7 AM, and eliminate before you come here for your next fitting. If you are unable to eliminate your meals, we will give you an enema and help you along. Your stomachs must be as flat, as they are now, and will be on the day of your wedding. We do not want your wedding dress to swim all over your body, on your wedding day, would we? Now, enjoy your snack."

Fiona and Payne looked at the buffet line and hated everyone that was on it. Not only did the food look wonderful, but the aroma filled every inch of space and turned every taste bud on. Those little buds did not want quiche; they wanted cassoulet, and duck confit, with chocolate mousse and crème brûlée. They wanted a glass or two of the 'heart healthy wine' to keep that organ physic ally fit. Oysters may be good for the libido, but cassoulet is good for the stomach. Payne and Fiona were drooling, and the cameras caught it all.

With the exception of the aforementioned duo, everyone else had a hearty repast, which lasted for exactly, one hour. When that hour was up, Fiona and Payne were again escorted back to their platforms to be covered in fabric. From the back came bolts of Duchess Satin, Italian Satin, pure silk, silk and cotton organza, lace tulle, silk Gazar, and appliqué materials made of lace from Ireland and Kashmir for the crown and cape. No expense was to be spared and none was taken. Each material was in an eggshell color for Fiona, and bright white for Payne. Each bride loved her material and the material of the other bride, and they could not decide which they liked better. There was no bickering between the brides, but there was nearly a war between the twenty seamstresses, whom each accused the other of attempting to ruin the others fabrics. Suzette was again called in to referee the shouting match. Since Fiona had a headache, prior to coming here, she knew why her head was now ready to explode.

At 6 PM, after four hours of being told, "To stand straight and stand still," it was, finally, closing time. The fabrics were picked out, not by the brides, but rather bride's mothers, guests, Suzette, and her staff. The bride's bodies contained marks made from pencils, pens, and markers, of every color of the rainbow. They were told not to wash them off, because they were needed for the fittings, which would occur the following days.

Fiona and Payne were so disappointed they nearly cried. They had both been looking forward to a long, hot soak in the whirlpools, in their rooms. Now they were told they could not even shower. Fiona told Payne she wanted to join Bob, in Moscow.

Payne laughed and said, "Do you think there is room for the three of us, in that cell?"

Alverna had planned a wonderful dinner party, for them at 8 PM, in a restaurant, near the hotel. Both Payne and Fiona wanted to skip dinner, but they were so hungry they would have eaten the room service menu. Off they went, with the other nine members of their group, to eat dinner and to try not to fall asleep while doing it.

Dinner was wonderful, and again, Alverna was the center of attention. The stories of Fiona's childhood seemed endless, and the more stories, she related, the more Bob smiled at her. Her mother told stories that Fiona did not know she knew about. It turned out that Marti, her friend and mentor, could not seem to keep her mouth shut, when it came to her mother. Marti and she were going to have a very long discussion, about confidentiality, when they next met.

It seemed to Fiona, that her mother could speak perfect English, even with her mouth full of food. For two and one half hours of eating and drinking, her mother did not shut up. The applause and laughter received, after each, and every story, seemed like fodder for her memory. It brought to light the next story she told. She even told the story about the night Fiona lost her virginity. There was only one other person, besides her and the boy, who knew the details of that night, and Marti was going to catch a beating, when Fiona returned to the states.

Nine people at the table laughed at how red Fiona had become. They taunted her about staying out too long, in the English sun. She could do nothing about Bacillica, Alletta, and her mother, publicly, but her peers would hear from her, when they returned home. Buying this wedding dress turned out to the more problematic, than she thought it would be. She believed it would be fun, to be here in Paris, picking up her dress, and doing some shopping, with Bob and her mother at her side. It was turning out to be a nightmare.

When dinner was over, everyone started to get into the limousines, for the trip back to the hotel. Bob went to the trunk of one limousine, pulled out a travel case, and said to Fiona, "Why don't we walk back, it is not that far, and we can walk off dinner."

Fiona agreed, told the driver that she could leave, kissed her mother, and told her she would see her in the morning.

It was a partly cloudy evening, in Paris, but no one was looking up. Paris is called "The City of Lights" for its ground-based lighting, and from their position, Bob and Fiona could see the Left Bank of the River Seine, the Hippodrome, and the Eiffel Tower. After they passed over a small bridge, they walked down a side street, to a pair of double doors, with no name or address above it. Before he opened the doors, he looked at Fiona and said, "I love you very much, and I only know of two ways to calm you down. I am going to do both of them for you tonight, because I saw the look on your face at the hotel. I was so happy that you did not kill me, that I arranged for this room, to be available for us alone. I hope this helps you make it through the next few days of fittings."

Bob opened one of the doors, and Fiona stepped inside to see a large training center. She shouted with glee as she ran in to the center of the matted area. She turned, looked at the bag, Bob had been pulling and said; "My clothes are in there?"

"Yes, but we could fight naked, if you want."

"No, you are so short, I would have to use the Braille method to find you and you sweat so much, you would be too slippery to hold. I am going to beat you tonight, and bring our score even."