Having Fun with Dycke and Payne Ch. 14

Bacillica nodded her head and said, "I understand. Please take me to my husband's office. I may as well get this over with, as soon as possible."

Frankie said to her, "Five will get you ten that he is thrilled."

"Five will get you ten, that he is unconscious, after I tell him."

She looked out the window during the drive to Chad's office, hoping that he would not be disappointed with her. He believed that she had continued taking her birth control pills, even though they had not been having sex for a very long time. She did not see the point in taking them, because of all the warnings that came with them and with the mistake she made with the doctor's wording about her going through 'her changes,' she was going to be a mother, again, at the age of forty-two. This child would graduate college, while she was collecting Social Security.

Grace walked with Bacillica to Chad's office, and his secretary told him that his wife was here. Chad asked her to send her in and when he looked at her face, he knew something was wrong. He went to her, took her in his arms, and said, "Cili, what is the matter?"

"Chad, I think it is best that you sit down."

"Cili, I am fine, you went to the doctor this morning. What is wrong?"

"I am pregnant!"

Chad's eyes dilated as he looked into her eyes. "Really? Are you sure? How far along are you? Is everything okay? Did the doctor say you would be okay? Is there any problem with you carrying the baby? You are not answering me. Talk to me, Cili, say something?"

Bacillica smiled at her husband and said, "If you would stop asking so many questions. I could answer them one at a time. I thought you were going to kill me, because I got pregnant. I stopped taking the pill because we stopped having sex. There was no sense in my taking them, with all the warnings, so I stopped. Then, all of a sudden, we started acting like rabbits, and I became pregnant. I did not even think about the pill, until Saturday, when Fiona asked me, if I was pregnant. I had been nauseous. I had been having headaches, and I did not put it together, until she asked me. The doctor confirmed it this morning. I am six weeks pregnant. As I counted back six weeks, you got me pregnant the day I got back from Paris. Two years of sperm met one egg and overpowered it. Congratulations, daddy."

Chad, kissed his wife and said, "It was that picture on the ceiling. I told you it made me think of all the nasty things I could do to you. It also did one thing I did not think of, but I could not be happier for the both of us. Can we still go on vacation?"

"I did not ask the doctor that question. I will call the office and find out if we are able to fly. If not, we will take a cruise."

"That sounds great to me, Cili. I will be free at the end of September. I put the ads online and in the paper for a senior design architect, as I promised. I will interview the people as they come in. I wonder what the girls and Dycke are going to say, when they hear they are going to have a baby brother or sister in the family."

Bacillica replied, "Dycke and Payne will be thrilled, the girls will think that we are nuts."

"I am with Dycke and Payne. I am thrilled."

"I was so worried that you would not be, Chad. I did not know what your reaction would be. You work so hard already. Now you will have to work longer to support another child."

"Yes, and I really hate my job."

"Bacillica laughed at her husband. She held him tight, kissed him, and told him that she loved him, with all her heart and soul."

Chad whispered in her ear, "Regardless of what you tell me, I am not taking that picture off the ceiling."

She hit him, blushed, and smiled.

When she left his office, she took Frankie by the arm, and said, "You are going to pay for this baby forever, you know."

Frankie looked at her and said, "Me, why me?"

"You sent him the naked picture of me, from Paris. The picture got into his libido. He got all horny, started screwing me like a rabbit, and that is how I wound up pregnant. Therefore, it is your fault. You are going to pay, until this child turns eighteen."

"Does that mean I have job security, for nineteen years?"

"Yes it does."

"Oh goody."

"Let's go get pizza, an egg cream, and some pickles. I can blame it on the pregnancy."

Frankie laughed at her, as they walked towards the elevator.

The news spread like wildfire. Chad called Dycke, who was, as he expected, thrilled for both of them. Dycke called Payne, who, after the shock wore off said, "Our children will be able to play with a lot of other children in our family."

Payne called her mother and Alletta started counting back to make sure she had not missed a period. She said to Payne, "I am very happy for her. I am also very happy for me, because I am not pregnant."

Chad called his oldest daughter, Maureen, to tell her the news and she reacted true to form. "Is mom crazy? She is too old to start another family. What about her health, dad; how is your health, dad? You will both be in your late sixties, when this child graduates college." So many things can go wrong at her age. Her blood pressure could spike and we could lose her. I do not want that to happen. I love her too much."

"Maureen, the doctor said your mother is in perfect health, and will be able to carry the baby to term. I want you to be happy for her, and treat her with kindness and respect."

"I always have, dad, and I always will. I will stop by this weekend, to see her."

Chad nearly had an identical conversation, with his youngest daughter, Ambrosia. She, also, would be there, this weekend to see her mother. He grinned and thought Dycke would probably want to be in Hawaii."

After Bacillica got off the phone with her doctor, she was slightly upset. The doctor told her she was not going anywhere for at least another two weeks, or until all her blood work came back. She wanted to be sure that everything was fine, before she became a world traveler. She also needed to be inoculated for a few diseases if she was going to certain countries in Africa, Asia, or the Middle East.

She put the doctor's mind at ease and told her that her traveling would be in the Western Hemisphere or Europe."

Wednesday, Bob and Fiona's home became a little hectic. The tables, chairs, and dinnerware arrived shortly after 1 PM. They were placed, in a pile, in the middle of the living area, and the men departed. Shortly afterwards, the glasses and stemware arrived. By four o'clock, it appeared that a feast, for one hundred people, was going to be prepared that evening. Dinner was supposed to start at seven and everything was still in a pile in the middle of the room. Fiona had no way to contact Lord Whitbred to find out if anything had gone wrong with his plans, but she need not have worried.

At five-thirty, an army of 30 men and women arrived at her home, and started to set up everything that was required for the evening. Twenty minutes later, they were finished. Some of them assembled a twenty by thirty viewing screen, which Bob believed would be for the evening's entertainment, while others changed into formal attire, to act as servers, during the party.

At 6:30P.M., guests started to arrive. Fiona and Bacillica hugged each other when they met, and talked about being pregnant. Dycke and Payne arrived, with his Uncle Turnquest, who was lecturing Dycke about the wonders of owning property, and the potential tax write offs, in Switzerland. Dycke was hanging on his every word. Lord Whitbred arrived, with Marti on his arm, and she looked wonderful in a Sapphire blue dress. When everyone saw them enter, they stopped what they were doing, and applauded. Lord Whitbred extended his arm so Marti would stand, 'on her own', and know the applause was for her. She blushed, bright pink, which accentuated the blue in her dress, wonderfully. She would never get used to this. She bowed, slightly. Lord Whitbred went over and whispered something into her ear. She shook her head 'no', and he said it again, softly, but with more authority.

Martina crossed her right leg behind her left, and curtsied. Everyone in the room, including Lord Whitbred, applauded loudly, and chuckled."

Marti looked at him, with fire in her eyes, and he said to her "Martina, play nice."

"Yes; your Lordship."

All the women in the room, went over to Marti, and told her how stunning she looked. They continued asking her all the questions, one woman would ask another, but no one had ever asked Marti before. This was new territory for her, and she would have to get used to it, quickly.

Promptly at seven o'clock, the food arrived. Fiona and Payne quickly realized that the menu was the same as it was in Paris, when they were being fitted for their wedding dresses. They did not mind at all, because they were able to eat the duck confit, cassoulet, truffles, chocolate mousse, and the tarts, this time. Dycke, Payne, Steve, and Cynthia were restricted to one glass of wine, each, because they were only eighteen, and unlike Paris, they were under the drinking age in the United States. However, everyone else enjoyed the champagnes and wines, throughout their meal.

When the main meal was over, and before the final desserts were served, Lord Whitbred stood up and made an announcement. I have made a documentary, which I am going to edit and may present at the Cannes Film Festival, in the comedy division. I have not had a chance to add music, or upgrade the sound as of yet, but I would like your opinions on what you see here tonight. I am only showing thirty minutes of this documentary, which is nearly 14 hours long. Some scenes are graphic in nature. There is nudity and some language that may be considered offensive. Please hold your comments, until the end.

A rear screen projector was started and scenes of Paris were displayed in front of them. The camera zoomed in on an innocuous looking store with two plain looking bridal dresses and a dusty entrance. Fiona yelled, "Oh, fuck" and Lord Whitbred laughed.

From high above the room cameras zoomed in on a group of people entering the circular studio. Lead in by Suzette, everyone was very talkative and excited. Payne recognized herself and said, "Oh No." Fiona replied, "Oh yes." Reactions started around the room as more and more people recognize themselves in the video being displayed. Gracie said, "Oh shit!"

Dycke smiled asked, "Lord Jeffrey, am I going to see my mother in an X-rated movie?"

"No, Dycke, more like RRR. The language is X, but the visuals are not."

You could hear Fiona scream as they showed her the back of the dress, and Suzette, ordering her to undress. When she did not do it and Suzette ordered her ten women to undress her, the look on Fiona's face was priceless. Everyone, especially Bob, was laughing mightily. Alvena was laughing along, with him. Hearing these tiny women order Fiona to stand straight and not to move was priceless. When she did move, and was criticized, the face she gave was more priceless than the one before it. It did not matter that she was naked, because no one cared. Everyone was looking at her face, because it was the center of attention.

When Payne was brought in to the scene, her scream was like fingernails being dragged along a chalkboard. Suzette told her women to strip her, gently, and everyone in the room laughed, because Suzette's women were like army ants. They went after clothes, voraciously. If you had them on, they wanted them off, "Now."

Payne's arms tried to protect her clothes from them, but it was no use. When she went to protect her panties, her bra was gone. When she went to protect her chest, her panties were gone. She was naked in less than thirty seconds. Just like Fiona, she was told to stand straight, and still, continuously. When she did not, she was criticized in both French and English. When she responded in both languages, the seamstresses criticized her skills, in both languages and told her to stand straight and still, again. When she did not, they stuck her with a pin, and she screamed, until she acquiesced.

Then came the fun part: "lunch." Four cameras zoomed in to catch every glance at the feast made by Fiona and Payne. When Suzette handed them their plates of quiche, oysters, and a bottle of water, the looks on their faces were magnificent. The scene went into slow motion, and everyone, at the party, laughed at both women. Even Payne and Fiona were laughing, at themselves. If looks could kill, Suzette was a dead woman.

When the cameras resumed normal speed, it was time for everyone to laugh at Alletta, and Bacillica. Chad knew his wife was pregnant, but no one had told Piker, until this very moment. When Chad leaned over and said to him. "This picture got my wife pregnant."

Piker yelled, "Pregnant! Bacillica, you are pregnant?"

"I guess your wife did not tell you. I am six weeks gone. He got me the night I returned from Paris."

Piker looked at Alletta.

She looked back at him and said, "No, I am not pregnant."

Piker said, "Good girl."

Dycke looked at him and said, "Do not worry about it dad. One pregnant female in your family, at a time, is going to be enough for us to handle."

Piker looked at Dycke and said, "Payne is pregnant?"

Payne yelled, "I am not pregnant."

Dycke looked at her and said, "Do you want to bet?"

Payne stopped. They had only been married two weeks. She was due for her period, in a few days. There was no way she could be pregnant. There was no way for him to know if she was pregnant. She thought to herself, "Finally, I have him. I am going to win a bet, with the unbeatable, Dycke Schneider."

"Yes, I will bet you I am not pregnant."

"Okay, what do you want for it?"

"I want my pink sports car, and I want to drive it."

"That is a hard one for me; because I have seen you drive."

"Are you afraid that you will lose?"

"No, I am afraid I would lose you, if I lose. Okay I will make you a deal. You can drive the sports car, as long as Gabby is with you."

"I agree. What do you want?"

"When I win, whenever I ask you a question, regarding men, you will say, "Yes, men are superior to women."

Payne said, "Never! I will never say that to anyone."

"Now, who was afraid they are going to lose?"

"You son of a bitch."

"Payne, how many times do I have to tell you not to speak about my mother, that way?"

Payne looked at Bacillica and said, "Mom, I am not talking about you, when I say that to him."

Bacillica smiled and said, "I know that dear."

Dycke asked, "Do we, or do we not have a bet?"

"How are we going to know who wins?"

Gracie said, "There is a store down the street that has the testing supplies. That is how we verified Fiona was pregnant."

Dycke stood up and said, "I will be right back, I will go to the store and get one."

Fiona said, "No Dycke, buy two of them. Different brands using different methods, that way it will be a fair test."

Steve stood up and said, "I will go with him to make sure he does not tamper with them."

As they were walking towards the store, Steve stopped Dycke. He said, "Dycke, I have not had a chance to thank you properly, for what you did for Cynthia and me. It was very generous and kind of you. It made Cynthia very, very happy, and that happiness meant the world to me. After what she went through last year, I was afraid that she would never smile again. The ring, and the proposal that went with it, meant the world to her. I want you to know, if I can ever do anything for you, all you have to do is ask, and I will do it."

Dycke looked at Steve, and smiled. He said, "I am going to ask you for something now, and you do not have to do it, if you do not want to do it."

Steve said, "I told you I will do anything, and if it is within my power to do it, I will do it immediately."

"Okay Steve, here goes, 'Will you be my friend?'"

Steve said, "Oh, no, not that. You had to ask for that. Do you know how hard that is going to be? I am going to have to visit your home and be nice to you. I am going to have to visit my sister, in your eighteen thousand square foot apartment, overlooking the harbor. Do you know how hard that is going to be on Cynthia and me? We will have to 'Segway' race, around you apartment. You are going to force us to go into your sauna, whirlpool, and hot tub. You are going to have a 'hot tub', right? We are going to have to sleep in a permanent guest room facing the river. We will be forced to baby sit, during those short summer vacations you and Payne are going to take, so Cynthia and I can charge you exorbitant prices for overtime, sleeping over and changing diapers. I, also, want my own personal Segway, Dycke. I will say okay, but this is going to be very hard on Cynthia and I to handle."

"Yes Steve and I know the sacrifices, you will have to live with, but that is what I am asking, and if you cannot do it, I will understand."

"Okay, let's try this, first. Let's shake hands, and if I do not die; we will go from there."

Dycke laughed as he extended his hand, and Steve took it.

Steve said, "Well, we both made it through that, so we will see what happens, from this point on, okay."

"Okay, Steve, but remember I still have the title to the Corvette. Straight A's would be nice, and I would like to see you win, at least, one race this year. After all, you will not be looking at my ass this time."

"Dycke, you are still a pain in my ass, and yes, I know, my sister says the same thing."

Dycke replied, "Let's go to the store, before they think we eloped."

When they returned from the store, Cynthia's first question was, "Did you two enjoy making out."

Steve replied, "You did not say, and I did not agree to, not fooling around with men. I looked at Dycke's ass so many times racing against him this past year; I decided to try a fling on the wild side. Dycke was very accommodating, and afterwards, we shook hands, to seal our new friendship."

Everyone laughed. Steve had gotten the better of Cynthia, this time, and she frowned at him to show her displeasure.

She said to him, "I will get you for that one."

Steve kissed her, and said, "That is what I was hoping you would say."

Steve handed his sister, the two small packages, and before she left for the bathroom, she said to Dycke, "I get to pick out the sports car, right."

"Any car you want, in the entire world."

"That is what I wanted to hear, loser."

"Remember, Payne, 'Men are superior to women.'"

Payne snarled at Dycke, and as she went into the bathroom, she said, "Not on this planet, nor any other planet, with intelligent life."

A rumble of laughter swept around the table.

She turned on the light, read the instructions, and urinated on both test strips.

Several minutes later, Payne walked out of the bathroom, and as she approached the table, all eyes turned towards her.

She looked straight at Dycke, threw both test strips at him, and yelled,

"I HATE YOU DYCKE SCHNEIDER!"

You Decide.

Note: I hope you have enjoyed reading "Having Fun with Dycke and Payne" as much as I did writing it, for you. Your comments have been appreciated. Thank you, very much! Prolonged_Debut10