Heartbreak Kid

"This will either destroy your career, or be the highlight of it."

Malcolm Coates finished sipping his coffee in Roy Falcon's living room and stood up to look at the beautiful Miami skyline. He couldn't believe what he had gotten himself into.

"I know it's a risk, but let's go for it--that's what I say!"

Roy jumped up from his sofa and ran over to his piano. He was a 39-year-old ball of energy with the smoothest chocolate skin, closely cropped black hair, a firm mustache and a muscular build. He smiled as he played notes on the piano.

"I trust you, man--I think this is gonna rock the world!"

Roy hired Malcolm after seeing his commercial for Ashleigh Lillian Kirby's Artists United for Climate Awareness campaign and his video for Golightlee's "Heroine Addiction" single. Roy liked the way Malcolm shot women; the director seemed to truly appreciate the female form, a quality Roy needed for his latest video concept.

Roy was soon to release a new single, "Heartbreak Kid," from his latest album "Love Moves." Roy wanted the video to be an homage to Robert Palmer's famous "Addicted to Love" video, featuring the late English singer surrounded by an all-female band of models pretending to play instruments. "I still remember those girls, man," Roy told Malcolm enthusiastically. "I was six years old when I saw that video, and those were the first girls I ever had a crush on."

The models in the "Addicted to Love" video were styled in a fashion made famous by the late artist Patrick Nagel: very pale skin, striking red lipstick and bright eyes. Roy didn't want the video for "The Heartbreak Kid" to be an exact copy, however.

"I want you to go out and find real musicians--I want them to really play in the video!" exclaimed Ray. "I want you to shoot it in one take, like people are watching it live!"

"You can't be serious," Malcolm responded.

"Hell yeah, I am!"

After an international search that took several weeks, Roy and Malcolm managed to find five women who met both the physical and musical requirements for the video. The first woman hired was Elsa Nielsen, a piano and keyboard player from Copenhagen, Denmark with shoulder-length dark blonde hair and bright, seductive blue eyes. She was joined by Rose Sheehan, a bass player from Cork, Ireland with jet-black hair, deep brown eyes, a regal, upturned nose and very lovely freckles; Leslie Galloway, a red-haired, green-eyed guitarist from Inverness, Scotland; backup guitarist Kara Andersson, a hazel-eyed honey blonde from Stockholm, Sweden; and drummer Clarissa Delaney, a blue-eyed brunette from Hobart, Australia.

Malcolm and Roy spent three weeks with Elsa, Rose, Leslie, Kara and Clarissa in pre-production on the video; by the end of those twenty-one days, the musicians knew both the song and their movements in the video by heart. Speaking of heart, Roy was aroused every day of rehearsal and struggled desperately to hide his erotic excitement from his co-stars. The combination of Danish, Irish, Scottish, Swedish and Australian accents would have been enough to send Roy into a sexual wonderland even if the musicians were average-looking; the fact that these five women were some of the most beautiful on the planet almost made him dizzy during rehearsals.

On the morning of the video shoot in Los Angeles, Roy asked to meet with Elsa, Rose, Leslie, Kara and Clarissa prior to filming. It was 10:00am by the time the hair and makeup team had finished working on all five musicians, and when Roy entered their dressing room, the beauty of his co-stars hit him so hard that he immediately took off his suit jacket to obscure his erection as he sat down.

"Look," Roy began, "I just wanted to say before we get started that I have so enjoyed working with you these past few weeks...I mean, we may never get a chance to meet each other again, so I just wanted to thank you. I know this video will be a hit, and I won't hesitate to give you ladies all the credit."

"Thank you," Clarissa replied. "We enjoyed working with you too."

"And if there's anything I can help you ladies with...contracts, anything, just let me know. Then again, all of y'all are so talented you don't need my help!"

The musicians laughed in unison.

"Well, I guess I'll go and get ready."

"Roy?" asked Rose.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why do you have your microphone in your pants like that?"

"What do you mean?"

Rose pointed her index finger at Roy's waist. His suit jacket didn't do much to obscure his erection at all; in fact, his hard-on was causing a portion of the jacket to point up.

"Oh, no..."

Roy was profoundly embarrassed.

"Look, uh, I didn't mean...Look, please don't...I didn't mean to make any of y'all uncomfortable..."

Kara smiled. "We all noticed you seemed kinda nervous around us...like you liked all of us and didn't want to say anything. We could all tell."

"Really?"

Kara smirked. "We can count the times!"

Roy went to put his head in his hands before realizing he'd mess up his own makeup. "Look, I mean this. If any of you felt like you were, you know, harassed in any way, I sincerely apologize. I never meant to do that. Yes, all of y'all are very attractive, but you're all very talented musicians. I respect your talent so much--"

"Yeah," Leslie smiled, "you were thinking of our talent all the time, right?"

"Look..."

"It's OK," Clarissa replied. "We knew from the very beginning you wanted to fuck all of us."

"Look, it's not like that."

"Yes, it is," laughed Rose.

"I'll say this," added Elsa. "You were a hell of a lot nicer about it than most guys I've met. At least you kept your fucking hands to yourself."

"While he was playing with himself!" Kara cracked.

"Oh boy," Roy replied, causing the ladies to burst out laughing once again.

At 12:30pm, Roy, Elsa, Rose, Leslie, Kara and Clarissa walked onto the soundstage, designed to look like the set of the "Addicted to Love" video. By this point, Roy was no longer bothering to hide his erection, figuring that Malcolm could obscure it if needed with VFX. As he looked at Elsa on the keyboards, Rose on bass, Leslie and Kara on guitars, and Clarissa on drums, he remembered the first time he saw the "Addicted to Love" video as a child, and the moment he discovered the true beauty of women for the very first time.

As he sang the lyrics to "Heartbreak Kid," he imagined himself making love to all five women, and the intense eroticism of the lyrics seemed to fit the moment, especially when he came to the end of the song:

"And I bet the bank you liked what I did, baby

'Cause you know that I'm the heartbreak kid, baby

I'm not the one of which you want to be rid, baby

'Cause you know that I'm the heartbreak kid, baby

You know I like to keep that footage on vid, baby

'Cause you know that I'm the heartbreak kid, baby

Is that the hole in which it should have been slid, baby

'Cause you know that I'm the heartbreak kid, baby..."

After the song concluded, Malcolm called "Cut," and Roy dropped to his knees, overwhelmed by the excitement of the moment. He hadn't felt this turned on during actual sex.

The video premiered several weeks later and was an immediate hit; "Heartbreak Kid" quickly rose to #1 on the Billboard Top 100, and proved to be an international smash as well. "All the credit goes to the ladies," Roy told Rolling Stone. "To quote another Robert Palmer song, they were simply irresistible!"