She leaned up to look outside. "Shit, already." She fumbled for her purse and pulled out a small box. When she pressed the button the garage door began to open. "Park inside so no one sees your car."
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Has potential, but needs more consistency
I like your style, but your story lines need some work. Keep at it. Try staying in the narrative if that's what you're working on, but don't switch around as much it just becomes confusing. Overall, nice job.more...
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