Helen... Ch. 05

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A young woman's discovery of her sexuality.
2.7k words
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Part 5 of the 18 part series

Updated 10/27/2022
Created 01/11/2009
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Sienna
Sienna
142 Followers

Helen's move and stay at Jacks apartment had reached its third week. Both began to settle down, but Harry had not contacted her during that time. She had tried to contact him and his mobile phone was switched off, signifying there was a definite problem. It was so hard for her to even conceive that Harry would have abandoned their intimate friendship. She was becoming desperate for some news about his well-being. He was a high risk with everything he was involved in and he was either dead, injured or in police custody.

"There is something worrying you." Jack said, as they ate dinner alone together. "I can tell, you are so sad and depressed lately. And if I may say this without upsetting you, it is getting worst." All that Helen could do was sigh in reply. She could not reveal her secret affair with Harry, even though her and Jack's relationship was open. "You can talk to me. I'm here for you." Jack took her hand across the table. "Am I not being the man you wanted to live with?"

Jack was ideal to live with. He had behaved himself in her opinion by not inviting his girlfriends back to the apartment. He atleast honoured her as a close friend. The place was what she had always dreamed of owning herself one day. He made sure she had everything she needed, including his love.

"No, it's not you..."

"Is it Lord? Has he done something to you?" Jack jumped to a conclusion.

"No no, it isn't him." She had to ease his concern now with some answer. Again, the truth was not that answer, not yet atleast. Although she did intend to be honest one day about her second lover. "I'm not sure if I'm pregnant or not..." It was the only answer she could find instantly. "You know, since we had that accident?"

Jack looked at her. "You mean? Wait, why didn't you say something earlier?"

"I didn't want to upset you. It's a lot to take knowing that you could be the father of my child." The more she weaved her tale, the more it felt as if she was deceiving him without due care. He was more surprised than she had expected. Jack stood up from the table and thought deeply.

"You need positive confirmation. You must have proper tests. I know a brilliant doctor who deals with these things. And if it is confirmed, he could also help us to abort."

"What?" Helen never expected to hear him suggest abortion. "You mean you would actually have me abort our child? How could you?" She stood up and ran to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her, leaving Jack wondering what he had said. In his world, accidents like those are so easily dealt with. A child would restrict him in his job and freedom. A man of his status in life could never be tied down. He tried to enter the bedroom, but Helen was clearly behind the door blocking his entrance. He could hear her sobbing and he tried desperately to console her.

"Helen, please let me in. I didn't mean to say what I did. It was very wrong of me without talking it through with you properly first. I know how these things can hurt your feelings. Abortion can't be easy."

She growled out and stamped her foot. She atleast expected him to sway away from his suggestion in sympathy. Jack was determined that the only answer to such a problem was simply termination. Now she was atleast pleased in part that she had told him a lie. A new aspect to his character had been revealed, and his ideas were not what she had believed in. She continued to listen to his appeals to let him in to comfort her. The situation was equalised. He confessed his beliefs and she had told him a deliberate lie. There was no alternative but to let him in.

Jack cuddled her, taking her into his arms. Helen was both glad of him being there for her and angry for what he had suggested and still believed in. "I will not mention it again," he told her. That was enough for Helen, for that moment. Harry was her top priority and she needed desperately to get in touch with the smooth talking Lothario that had taken her by storm.

One thing she loved was the way Jack would caress her breasts. Has they lay in bed; the feel of his fingertips teasing her nipple had relaxed her. Jack was fascinated by her nipples in the way that they were quite distinctive on raised pink areola, excited by his gentle touch. He had never had a small-breasted woman before and he wondered if they would stay so petite. A child would surely ruin their shape and form, he thought. Helen was not the person he wanted to ruin as an icon of beauty. Infact, he had already ruined two like her when he was younger and left them both with a child to raise without him, not taking up his responsibilities as a caring father. The thoughts of guilt had made him stop in his caresses. "Don't stop it is relaxing." Helen told him.

"No, wait. I think I need to say something."

Helen raised herself up on her arms and looked at him. "What's that, tell me?"

"I have decided that I will marry you and father our child. How does that sound to you?"

"Are you serious?" Helen asked. Another disastrous episode was being created, she thought. Suddenly Jack was being serious and the truth just had to be revealed before he committed himself even more. The table had been turned in a most incredible way. Jack was willing to break his lifestyle for her and their non-existent child.

"I am very serious. I love you and our child." His hand drifted onto her belly as she watched him in awe. "In here, your belly is my future. Our future. I think its time to settle down. So I wish to propose. Helen my darling, will you marry me?"

She lay back and clenched her head with both hands. His proposal was not what she wanted. He was not the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. That person had not yet entered her life and Jack was taken aback by her reaction. "What is wrong?" he asked. "I thought you would be happy?"

"No Jack, no. I'm sorry my love, I really am." She gritted her teeth and decided that the truth had to be revealed. "I'm not pregnant. Forgive me." Jack threw the duvet aside and stood beside the bed. He wondered what was happening to him. The woman he truly now loved was telling him lies. How could he forgive her so easily? He was willing to give up his Casanova life for her. This woman who he trusted, believed in so much.

"What made you say such things?" he asked. "Why would you try to convince me that you could be carrying our child?"

"Ok, I'm sorry. The truth is, I love someone else as well as you."

"Someone else? No, surely you mean a lover of sorts, like my lovers. I have now realised how much I want you more than them. For months I have felt guilt knowing that you accept them and tolerate them. Tolerate me for the man I am. I was willing to give them up for you."

"Do you think I'm going to believe that for one minute? I would have been your tied down wife, while you fucked every woman you fancied. No Jack, I'm being honest with you. Marriage is not the answer."

"What are you saying? That I am a man who cannot change for the woman I really love? And who is this other you love? Surely not the inadequate Professor Lord?" Helen got out of bed and began to dress. "Tell me, is this why you lied to me?" Jack asked.

"Yes, if the truth be known. And no, it isn't Lord. It is someone I am beginning to care for because I know he needs me more than you do."

"A younger man? I knew that this would eventually happen. Another student."

"No. If you must know, he is someone like those I grew up with when I was a child. A real down to earth man with a reason to struggle in life for what he wants. A man who fell into trouble believing that crime was the only means of achieving his goals. He needs me Jack and I know together we can sort things out, for him atleast."

"Is this what is worrying you so much? His future, which you know he doesn't have. A common criminal who is most likely deceiving you. Are you so easy to fool? He will drop you like... a piece of shit when he has done with you."

"If that is the case, then I'm happy. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. Not yet anyway. I have a whole world out there to seek the right man. And Jack, if you must know, you are not that man."

"Then go. Go into that world out there and see how hard it is. You'll never survive."

"Oh I will. Just watch me."

She packed a backpack with enough clothing to see her through a few days. Jack agreed to look after her other belongings until she either saw his way of things, or she had found somewhere to stay. The night was cold and the summer weather was turning. October was almost at an end and the dark nights were getting longer.

Wandering the streets in search of Harry and any information about his health and whereabouts became her priority. She searched his usual night time haunts and hideaways until the following morning, drawing a blank on every location she knew. It was also dangerous. The places and people that Harry knew were the kind you avoided at night. The scrawny little public bars, the clubs and the lodges full of alcoholic deviants who had nothing else to live for in life but petty crime.

Without any sleep, it was time to go to university for her lectures and study groups. During the course of the day she found it hard to resist sleeping and whilst sitting in one of Lord's lectures, he had noticed her napping. He found it hard to disturb her and allowed her to continue sleeping, even though she became the passive ridicule of fellow students who found her occasional snoring quite funny. After he had dismissed his lecture, he waited until his students had left the lecture theatre. Helen was still sound asleep and Lord watched for a while. He perceived that something was not going well in her life.

He coughed to draw her attention, which resulted in nothing. "Helen!" he called. That too did not seem to work until he decided to approach her, placing a gentle had upon her shoulder. "Helen, wake up." Eventually she opened her eyes and gained her senses. She looked at him and then around her seeing an empty theatre. "You fell asleep my dear. The lecture is over and you missed most of it." Lord explained.

"Did I? I'm sorry." She felt embarrassed and packed her books and notes into the backpack. "I'd better leave, I have someone to contact." She said. Lord increased his grip on her shoulder, preventing her from leaving her seat.

"Helen, what happened between you and Jack? I know things are not good. You look awfully tired, untidy and your clothes are packed in that dirty old backpack. You are homeless aren't you?" It was nothing uncommon to find one of his students wandering the streets. They leave their accommodation or fail to pay rent on their lodgings leaving them evicted. However, Lord knew her too well and Jack was seen as her protector, landlord and guardian as well as her lover.

"I'm homeless, yes. Not for long though. I need to find someone urgently."

"I can help you if you let me?" Lord replied. "All you have to do is accept my help and join me for dinner this evening. Then back to my place for a nice shower and a good nights rest."

"No, thanks, really. It's very complicated."

"Helen, nothing is too complicated for me to help you with. If you and Jack have had arguments and disagreements then I can act as a mediator. It's so simple. But I think there is more to this than just you and Jack falling out. Let me give him a call and chat with him."

"No! Stay out of my damn business will you!" Helen forced her way past Lord and headed out of the lecture theatre, leaving her professor stunned by her stressed attitude, and as he watched her leave, he began to tap out Jack's number on his cell phone.

Helen walked the busy street alongside the passing traffic, students and tutors heading home after their day at university. Technically, she had nowhere to go, now that she had left Jack's apartment. Everything she owned was now stored in her backpack. There was still Harry to find and so she walked across town to the house he was supposed to live in. The evening sky grew darker with rain clouds and Helen felt a cold chill as the rain began to fall.

The house was deserted, its windows boarded. She went into the rear garden only to find the alabaster man size statue broken into pieces scattered across the overgrown lawn. Her search for Harry was becoming more and more desperate. Again, she tried to call him on the phone and left yet another message for him to contact her. She feared the worst of what might have happened to him. Beaten up by the rival gangs in his life, possibly left to die somewhere.

Helen looked up to the sky, letting the cold raindrops fall upon her face as she sat on a rubbish container. She was soaked through to the skin as the rain increased its downpour and the darkness of the dusk darkened her surroundings. There was nowhere to go, other than make up with Jack and return to his apartment. That was the last thing she wanted at that moment in time.

She decided to walk back into town, her mind racing with scenarios of all negative kinds. Halfway there her phone rang. She looked to see who it was before answering. It was Jack, trying to contact her for the umpteenth time. "Hello?" she answered.

"Where are you? Why are you not answering my other calls? Are you ok my darling?" Jack's voice was desperate and demanding. He was genuinely worried for her and he needed to know her whereabouts.

"I'm fine." Helen was reluctant to answer all of his caring questions. "I'm cold and wet, but then again are you really interested to know that?"

"Of course I am. Let me collect you and bring you home. I think we need to talk things through more clearly and air a few thoughts about us. This situation is silly. You have things of yours here and I know you had no intentions of leaving."

Helen thought about Jack's request seriously. Now that she had heard his voice, she began to feel for him, and even want him again. "You asked me to leave. I'm not sure if I should come back or not. Is there really things we need to talk about?"

"Yes, lots of things. Tell me where you are."

"What about my other lover? Have you had much time to think of him in our future plans?"

"Right now, I don't even care how many lovers you have. Look at me, I have lots and well you know. I can live with that. I just need you here, where you belong right now. You have nowhere to go. I can hear the rain from where you are. You are walking the dangerous streets alone." Suddenly she felt good to hear him pleading to her, not in a bad way, but in a caring way. "If I have to say this a million times," he continued. "I love you Helen. Please come home."

Sienna
Sienna
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READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

Helen... Ch. 04 Previous Part
Helen Series Info

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