Help Me!

"I can do it no more," you state.

HELP ME! I hear you, yet I speak not a word. "NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!" I am silently screaming. Bits and pieces of what you are saying is all I'm hearing at this point.

"Our jobs, our families, demands placed upon us."

HELP ME! Standing here and watching you, it appears my world is halting. You are leaving. My sun is sliding behind the clouds of memories. The breeze is whispering your name over and over; a mantra in the wind. Thoughts and doubts crossing my mind. Am I chasing you away? Am I expecting too much? Are you just playing me? Was it just a silly game? I guess some questions aren't meant to be answered. If it weren't for my foolish fucking pride, I'd fall down upon my knees and start begging. Begging you to stop. Begging you to turn around. "Please don't leave me. Please stay. I will change. I will do whatever you want me to do. I will be whatever you want me to be."

"A realization that the time/distance/committment equation in our relationship will not equate to a committed D/s relationship,"

HELP ME! Instead, I stand here, straight, while my heart is breaking and light a cigarette. I feel my eyes beginning to water. Taking a deep breath. Blinking my eyes, again and again. Holding it in. Holding it all in. "You are strong," I am telling myself. "Don't let him know. Don't let him see the hurt." Breathing steadily. Taking a draw from the cigarette. Exhaling. Slowly. Watching you through the smoke.

"Facts and figures again, sorry, you know I can't help it," you joke.

HELP ME! Physically, you are leaving. Mentally, you have already left. Everything is in slow motion. My world is tumbling. "STOP!" my mind screams. "Come back. Kneel before Me. Worship Me as you did once." Yet, I only stand and watch you. Every breath becoming an effort, knowing that without you my world falls apart. I stub out my cigarette. Breathing raggedly, hurrying to swallow as much air as I can. . . letting out a small moan.

"I want to continue the relationship, How is up to you."

HELP ME! Suddenly all I wanna' do is climb onto you. Be climbed onto. To occupy and be occupied. I want to close my mouth around your strong cock. I want to nurse hungrily upon it. Twirling my tongue along the underside. Working my tongue along the ridge of its head. My fingernails digging into your asscheeks until. . . until. . . you are close to coming, then . . .

"I'd be thrilled with any attention you can give me,"

HELP ME! I want to mount you. I want you underneath me. I want to be on top of you, facing you. I want to pin your arms above your head, my hands locking in yours. Soaking in sweat, I want to ride you slowly. Rolling my abdominal muscles once with each forward thrust of my hips. Lifting one of your captured hands to my mouth. Gnawing upon your knuckles as I am pulling and pulsing against you.

"and believe me, I'll reciprocate as much as my limitations allow," you continue.

HELP ME! "Slow," I am whispering with each breath, like a prayer. "Let me fuck you slowly this time."

"You're probably angry at me."

HELP ME! My body aching as my pace is increasing. Faster. Harder. Rocking more tenaciously as my pulse quickens, as my clit throbs, as my nipples harden. You beneath me, gasping out almost-words, unrecognizable words. That is all I can see now. Biting and rubbing, body and body. My cycles growing still faster and larger until I can press no further. You pushing up against my onslaught, clenching every muscle.

"I wish you weren't."

HELP ME! That little explosion going off in my head---surrender. I am bucking wildly, gripping your cock with my cunt. Your heat rising into me.

"If things were just a little different, if we had just met a while back, if we just were a little closer then we might have more room to work."

HELP ME! Moving hot and hard against you. Fast and furious.

"But we can play 'what if' games for the rest of our lives, and it won't change a thing."

HELP ME! Drowning in emotion and lust. Coming in long shattering spasms. Holding on, continuing to fuck you. Determined to bring you with me.

"If you dont mind, let me say it just one more time.... "

HELP ME! Finally your cries mingling with mine. You are shooting into me. Screaming and trembling, I fall against you in a sweaty, trembling heap.

"Yours"

HELP ME! The damn is bursting. The tears are flowing freely. Seeing the truth, as you are fading. Realizing there are some things that I can never have. HELP ME! help me. helpme . . .