Helping Jodi

I just stared back at him with my arms folded under my breasts.

"Oh, all right. Fuck it. Set it up," he told me, yielding to my determination. "Fuck it," he muttered again as he went back to his desk. "And leave that video running. The next part is one of my favorites."

I grinned to myself as I left his office, pulling the door closed behind me. Within minutes I had arranged for the services we needed. The prices were reasonable so Sly stopped grumbling. Within a week, every one of the people who worked in the studio stopped by to thank me.

****

I became a student of the porn industry and discovered several things as I watched more and more of the VHS and DVD movies, both ours and those from other studios. Not only did they provide me with sexual stimulation, but I began to get a good grasp of the history of porn filming and its evolution into the products we were currently producing.

I ignored the reel-to-reel stuff. If we had a means of viewing them, I was unaware of it. Besides, Janna had told me that those old movies were more funny than sexy. She said all the men wore black socks while they were fucking. My guess was that they did it because the floors were dirty.

VHS tapes from the seventies were the most revealing, and in many ways, the most appealing. Many studios in the seventies attempted to make films that had a distinct plot, were often filmed on location in nice facilities, and the sex was a consequence of the story line rather than the central theme.

The eroticism of the films was enhanced by performers who did their fucking in normal, comfortable looking positions. I found many of the movies highly arousing and took advantage of that feature whenever I could. I also found that the acting quality of the older videos was often superior to what I had seen on some of the newer ones. The downside in the industry at that time was that drugs and disease were a serious occupational hazard for the performers. More than one porn star died of AIDS or drug overdose.

In defense of the newer videos, the actors, at least in Sly's company, were generally better looking. There was less emphasis on big tits, big hair, and elaborate makeup. Sly's women were truly beautiful with stunning bodies. The men were handsome with good physiques and impressive equipment between their legs.

As I reviewed the material, I generated a list of current actors who impressed me the most with their performances and sense of ease in front of a camera. Janna was at the top of my list. She appeared to be genuinely orgasmic, she was gorgeous, and she seemed to thoroughly enjoy what she was doing. A couple of the other women, a stunning brunette named Marcy and the ash blonde I had first seen on my tour a year or so ago joined Janna on the list. Her name was Taylor.

Three guys really impressed me. Lance, Eric, and Dale were the male equivalents to the three women. They seemed genuinely interested in physically satisfying the women they worked with. When any one of them worked with one of my favorite ladies, the chemistry was clearly evident. They were so good that I began to fantasize about having sex with them when I masturbated. I had no intention of having sex with any man at that time, and certainly no one from work, but the fantasies were highly erotic and served their purpose well.

Janna and I were sitting around my desk having lunch one day when I decided to pry a little.

"What attracted you to this business?" I asked her, hoping she wouldn't be offended. Apparently she wasn't.

"I did one semester of college, but didn't like it. At the time, Marcy was an acquaintance who lived down the hall in my dorm. When I announced to several of the residents that I intended to drop out, she took me aside and asked if I liked to fuck. I told her I loved sex but was between boyfriends at the time."

"Go on," I prompted.

"She told me she was dropping out of school too and that she had been moonlighting for a while at a movie studio here in the Valley making porno flicks. I was shocked, but intrigued at the same time. She told me the money was unbelievable, the work was easy, and fucking in front of a camera was a lot of fun."

"And?"

"Well, I love sex and I cum easily. Getting to have all the sex I wanted and getting paid for it seemed like a bargain to me. Marcy brought me here to this studio for an audition three years ago. I fucked Lance for the first time, had an orgasm within minutes, and then another soon after. That's when I realized that doing it with others in the room is a real turn-on for me. After Sly saw the video that night, he called me into his office the next morning. Five minutes later I was on the payroll."

"Did you have to fuck Sly too?" I asked with a horrified look on my face.

"What? Oh Lord no! Sly is married, has four grown kids, and about ten grandkids."

"Really? I'd never have guessed. I figured him for a dirty old man, although he's been really kind to me."

"He is a dirty old man, but he doesn't mess with any of us," she responded with a laugh. "I think his wife would kill him."

"I want you to know that I have watched every one of your videos. Several times," I told her, changing the subject.

"I'm flattered. Do you masturbate?" she asked with a grin, making me blush.

"Well, uh...yeah. I watch Marcy, Taylor, Eric, Dale and Lance often as well."

"Why us in particular?" she asked.

"I've been studying porn for some time now and have probably watched hundreds of videos. The six of you are the best performers I've seen, either here at Sly's or at the other studios. No one else comes close."

"I'm flattered again, but why are you studying porn. Why don't you just join us as a performer? You're gorgeous."

"I'm not judging you in any way, but that just isn't in my makeup. But, truth be told, I am a little envious. The six of you clearly enjoy what you're doing and you look so natural on screen," I responded, "but it's not for me."

"So I'll ask you again, why are you studying porn?" she repeated with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Have you ever watched any of the porno flicks from the seventies?"

"No. I don't think so."

"You'd remember if you had. Why don't you come over to my apartment for dinner tonight if you're free? I'd like to show you a couple of them and then I'll explain what I have in mind."

"I'd love to," she responded with a smile. "I'll bring the wine. White or red? What time?"

"White is fine and six o'clock is good. I'll make a shrimp dish with risotto. You can feed Jodi while I cook."

Janna arrived promptly at six with two bottles of really nice chardonnay. After Jodi was fed, we each enjoyed a glass while she crawled around on the kitchen floor. Every time she got within range, Janna would scoop her up, Jodi would squeal in protest, and Janna would put her back down to resume her exploration.

"She's a little devil," Janna announced with a smile.

"She's already a handful. I can't wait 'til she's a teenager."

The two of us had a nice dinner with more wine while Jodi entertained herself with a rubber spatula. When we finished, Janna cleaned up the dinner mess while I bathed Jodi and put her down for the night.

"Okay," demanded Janna, "let's see what you have."

I had brought home my two very favorite classic porno movies, so I put one in the machine and turned on my television.

"Try not to talk during this. Just pay attention."

"Sounds mysterious," Janna said with a grin.

"Just watch."

I knew this movie by heart, so I spent most of the time watching Janna's reaction. She was enthralled from beginning to end, mostly remaining silent except for an occasional murmur deep in her throat. When it ended, she looked over at me with her face flushed from either arousal or astonishment. I couldn't tell which.

"That was fucking amazing," she breathed. "I've never seen anything like it. The story line was good, the acting was excellent, and the sex scenes were very nicely done. I wish we could make movies like that. I know I'm a lot better actress than I'm allowed to be in the stuff we do. So are Marcy and Taylor. The guys are better too."

"I was hoping you'd say that. Want to see another one?"

"You bet!"

I got the same reaction when she finished watching the second movie. Then,

"Okay, I'll bite. Why did you show these to me? Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed them, but I don't know what's on your mind."

"I want to approach Sly and get his agreement to make a couple of movies in this style starring the six of you. If you and the others will be willing."

"I'd love to, and so would they. But Sly will have a stroke. You'll be wasting your breath," Janna announced, shaking her head.

"He might, but I want to try anyway."

"Can we show these movies to the others?"

"Sure, let's get everyone together here at my place on Saturday. I'll ask my aunt to watch Jodi."

"They are going to love this stuff!" Janna announced.

"I just hope I don't get everyone's hopes up. I'm sure it'll be a tough sell and nothing may come of it."

"They'll survive," she said with a grin. "And by the way, I'm a very good writer and so is Taylor. We can do the screenplays. I don't know if the guys will be any help."

"Now that's good news!" I exclaimed. "I hadn't thought about that."

Saturday's get-together went exactly as I had hoped. All the players were stunned by the quality of the two movies and all expressed a desire to be involved. All I had to do was convince Sly.

****

I got to the office on Monday before Sly so I had to sit at my desk nervously awaiting his arrival. When he finally showed up a half hour late, I followed him into his office.

"I need to talk to you Sly," I said, wringing my hands a little.

"You're not quitting are you?" he asked with a worried expression on his face.

"Nothing so dramatic."

"Okay then, have a seat."

When I finished outlining my idea, Sly just sat staring at me for a long time. I began to fidget after a minute or so without any response from him. When he finally spoke, I nearly fainted.

"I was in this business back in the seventies. Produced and directed a few of those films. They fell by the wayside because of rising costs and the industry took a big hit with the AIDS and drug thing. When all that got sorted out, we started producing this stuff we do now. People bought the videos, so we kept doing it, but a lot of it is crap. I've spent years dreaming about making some high quality movies with good actors, writers, and directors."

I held my breath.

"You chose two of the very best movies from that era and you've zeroed in on some of the best performers in the business. If they're on board, I'm on board. What's your role in all this?"

"I'd like to direct," I said, my voice shaking from nerves.

I thought Sly was going to choke to death laughing while my face flushed with embarrassment.

When he recovered enough to talk, I was wishing I could crawl in a hole somewhere and die.

"You don't know shit about how to make a porno flick, and you certainly don't know how to direct one like those. But neither do any of my other directors. You'll be starting from scratch and you'll have to work on Saturdays. I still need to keep making these other bullshit videos. They pay the bills. Tell Janna and Taylor they have two weeks to give me a draft screenplay. When I've approved it, they can polish it and I'll teach you some of what I know about directing. When I think you're ready, I'll give you a camera operator, a sound guy, a Foley artist, and an editor. Where were you thinking of filming this?"

"I...I...don't know," I stammered. "I haven't thought that far ahead. I know we can't do much of it here on our sets."

"I'll figure that part out," he announced. "This is going to be expensive compared to what we do out back. You get one shot at this. If you break even, I'll let you do another one. If you lose a lot of my money, you'll be an office manager for the rest of your life. Now get out of here and let me think."

And that's how I started my career as a director of pornographic films in the Valley. We focused on romantic themes with sensational sex and began making enough money to keep all of us smiling as we went back and forth to the bank.

Of course I still had to manage the office, but by then I had everything down to a science and could juggle administrative work and directing without missing a beat.

****

My empty coffee cup breaks me out of my reverie. After getting a refill, I decide to take my cup out onto the patio to enjoy the morning before the day's promise of heat becomes reality. I settle into my favorite chaise lounge and resume my thinking.

****

A month after Jodi's second birthday, two more events occurred that would have a profound effect on my life.

While at work, my aunt Barbara suffered a massive stroke and died a few hours later. I was heartbroken. We had become close after Rob's death; closer still during my pregnancy, and Jodi's presence solidified our status as a family of three.

Her co-workers were stunned. She was only in her forties, competent, and well-liked by everyone in the law firm where she worked. More than two hundred people attended her funeral, mostly people she worked for, worked with, or worked on behalf of as a pro bono legal aid doing volunteer work in Calabasas. Nearly everyone from the studio attended. None had ever met her, but they turned out to support me.

The second thing that happened was a result of the first; I met Kevin James. Kevin was a lawyer in the firm and had taken on the task of settling my aunt's estate; an estate that turned out to have substantial assets. My aunt had been frugal as far back as I could remember, miserably so in my opinion as a child living with her.

Kevin called to make an appointment so we could go over the estate and the distribution of her assets. We met in his office a couple of weeks after the funeral and I was immediately attracted to him in a way I had not experienced since Rob's death. I could feel my face flush as he rose to his feet when I entered the room.

He was handsome, well-groomed, and well-built. As the meeting progressed it became apparent that he was self-assured and had an easy manner that I did not normally associate with attorneys. There was not a hint of condescension or arrogance. What I did not know until well after the meeting was that Kevin James was equally attracted to me.

It turned out to be a meeting of great importance to me and to Jodi. My aunt had a diversified investment portfolio, a significant amount of cash in a couple of accounts, and no mortgage on her home. Everything had been left to me in her will with the proviso that Jodi's education be paid for out of the inherited assets. I was completely surprised at the size of the estate and humbled by her generosity.

It took a couple of weeks for all the paperwork to settle. I used that time to buy out the lease on my apartment and move back into Aunt Barbara's house. My old room became Jodi's and I took over the master bedroom. I had lived in that house for six years and it felt a little strange to take up full-time residence once again.

One Wednesday evening after dinner, Jodi was jumping up and down in her play pen and singing, off key as usual, a little tune she had just made up. Just as she finished, the phone rang. We had basic cell phones in those days, but nearly every home had a landline. The caller identification feature told me the call was from my aunt's law firm so I quickly picked up the receiver.

"Hello."

"Hi. It's Kevin James..."

"Hi Kevin," I interrupted, the pleasure at hearing his voice evident in mine.

"...and I was wondering if...if you would join me for dinner this weekend."

"I'd love to!" I exclaimed before I had a chance to think about it, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Really?"

"Really," I responded.

"I...I can't believe it," he stammered.

"I would really enjoy seeing you," I reassured him.

"Will Saturday night do?"

"Saturday night is perfect. I'll get a sitter for Jodi."

"Can I pick you up at six?" he asked.

"Six it is. Where are we going? I need to know so I can dress appropriately."

"I'll surprise you, but a formal dress might be a little much and jeans would be too casual," he responded firmly, his self-confidence back.

"I know just what to wear," I lied. "I'll see you at six on Saturday."

I didn't have a clue about what to wear. I hadn't been on a date since Rob died. I hadn't even thought about dating. My life was consumed with work and raising Jodi. I dressed professionally at work when manning the office, wore jeans when directing films, but wore as little as possible when on my own time, mostly favoring miniskirts, shorts, and tank tops. Southern California weather encourages such attire. At home, I often ran around topless, enjoying the freedom afforded by minimal clothing.

Unfortunately, nothing in my wardrobe seemed appropriate for my very first date. Rob and I didn't actually date. All we really did until we got married was hang out together. I was woefully unprepared to enter the dating scene. Having nothing suitable, I needed to go shopping as soon as possible.

****

"You? A date? The Ice Queen?" Janna inquired with a grin.

"Ice Queen? Where did that come from?" I asked, immediately annoyed.

"Some of the guys call you that behind your back. They don't mean anything by it. They're just mortally disappointed that you've never agreed to perform in our films."

"Fuck the guys," I told her, a little less annoyed.

"Yeah, that's what I do," Janna responded with a wide grin.

"I need help," I said, smiling at her little joke. "I've never really dated anyone, including my husband and I was a just a kid when we got married."

"You're still a kid. What are you now? All of twenty?"

"Twenty-one," I answered and then stuck my tongue out at her.

"Very mature," she responded. "Now how can I help?"

"I need to go shopping but I don't know what to buy."

"Oh, this'll be fun. I am a master shopper. Get a sitter for Jodi and we'll go tonight," Janna told me with a broad smile. "I know exactly what to wear to entice a man."

"I'm not trying to entice the guy; I just want to look nice."

"Honey, you always look gorgeous. We just need to wrap the package up a little differently."

I had located a responsible teenage girl just down the street from the house shortly after I moved back in. Lisa was serious and pretty in a bookish sort of way with her wire rimmed glasses. I had only called on her few times but she was always available and Jodi loved her. She quickly agreed to watch Jodi that night and Saturday night as well.

Janna and I had a quick bite at the food court in the mall to serve as dinner and then headed for the upscale store that used to employ me.

"I need to know a couple of things so I can decide where we should start shopping," Janna announced.

"Like what?"

"Like are you gonna fuck this guy Saturday night?"

"Janna! No!" I exclaimed, truly shocked that she would think such a thing. "It's our first date."

"So?"

"Right now we only have a professional relationship. He is the attorney who handled Aunt Barbara's estate. I have no intention of having sex with him."

"Ever?"

"I don't know about ever but it won't be on this date."

Janna just looked at me with squinty eyes for a long moment and then plunged ahead.

"When was the last time you got laid?"

"The night before my husband deployed to the Middle East," I replied, glaring back at her.

"Jesus Christ! What the fuck have you been doing for sex?" she cried, loud enough to attract the attention of a few nearby shoppers.

"Shhhhhh! Keep your voice down!" I ordered.

"Well, what have you been doing for sex?" she repeated in a softer voice.