Her Next Husband

"That's pretty cold and calculated, don't you think? So, you kept us in the dark, making us wonder if you were okay, or abducted, or only God knows what, so that you wouldn't be tripped up in your lies, in the 'unlikely event' that he'd fuck you and send you on your way? And you didn't let us know where you were staying so we couldn't call you and interrupt the 'wonderful sex' you were so sure that you'd have?"

"Yes...I suppose so." He head hung low again, unable to meet my eyes.

"So, if the worst thing happened and you tried to fuck his brains out, and he dumped you like the cheap slut you would've been behaving like, that you'd just shower yourself off and come home to me, and always have the memory of such a great sexual encounter with the 'Great Bradley Morgan,' and I'd get his used and soiled leftovers. Does that sum it up?"

"Yes, but you make it sound so cheap and..."

"Because it was a very cheap thing to do! I'm just bringing it out into the open where the light of day shows your plan for what it was. If you think I'm making you sound like a cheap slut on a once-in-a-lifetime mission, suppose you explain it to me so that it doesn't sound so sleazy. Go ahead...try!"

"I suppose that my plan started innocently enough. If I won, you wouldn't even want to come as you've never cared for the 'Holly-weird' lifestyle, and you'd have to stay in the background for the PR shots, anyway. Then, I thought I couldn't possibly seduce him, being the big star that he is. That night he and Cindy were on TV, and you commented how much better looking and younger I was than she. It actually made me feel like I had a chance with him, especially after a Hollywood class makeover."

"So, you're partially blaming me for this crap? ...over a compliment, no less!"

"No, no...please don't take it that way! It was the boost of confidence that I got from that compliment—the view of her vs. me through the eyes of a man—that pushed me over the edge. I think I'd have given a try anyway, but your compliment just started me sooner. After that hurdle was crossed, it was a struggle about what would happen if things went wrong, but I never expected the Facebook event to take on a life of its own."

"So, you thought I'd just sit here silently at home, and not worry about you, or wonder if this was a legit contest? You know me to be more of a man of action that; I'm no wimp. You were just swept out of here like a leaf by a tornado and started ignoring my calls and texts right off the bat. What was up with that?"

"Your first call came in during the limo ride, when they were telling me all the details of what would be happening to me over the next few days. I did ignore it because I didn't want to miss a word of what they were saying. After a while, I got tired of ignoring your calls and texts—and a little guilty too, considering what I had planned—and shut off the phone. I'm sorry, Curt. I really am truly sorry."

"Are you sorry for what you did, or sorry that your plan didn't succeed, or sorry that you got caught?"

"To be truthful, I'm sorry for all three, but I'm mostly sorry that I hurt you so much that you'd kick me out of my own home. A home that we made over the last thirty years together, where we raised our two wonderful kids and have so many memories..."

"Okay, cut the emotional crap. Now, what was with all the lies when I finally did talk to you?"

"I thought that you wouldn't know any better, and since 'nothing happened' out there anyway, a few white lies would smooth things over better and quicker. It would also hurt you less..."

"How considerate of you..." I commented sarcastically, "but what it did show was just how much respect for me that you've lost. You actually thought that I'd believe that your phone died after it had been on the charger for over three hours? ...that I'd believe that you couldn't borrow a phone or charger from someone in the entourage? ...that the hotel's phones weren't working for the whole time you were there? I'm nowhere near that stupid. So, you thought I was not only a wimp, but a stupid wimp?"

"I guess that I did; it seemed that all the passion from our younger days had faded and you'd just keep yourself busy without me for a few days. I'm sorry. Now I know without a doubt that you are neither. I'll never take you for granted like that again—never."

I took a long thoughtful draw off of my lemonade and let the silence build to an uncomfortable level. "Why should I believe you when you said that 'nothing happened'? Obviously, Bradley said the same thing and even offered me to call his wife to verify it, but a lot of those Holly-weirdoes are into threesomes and orgies. I don't think a threesome with Cindy would've fit well into your grand plan, but I think you probably would have done it anyway, if nothing more than to get your time in the sack with your idol. So, why should I believe you?"

Her face showed shock at the possibility (of the threesome) that she hadn't considered, and then replied, "I haven't lied to you today; not even one word has been less than the complete truth! I'm baring my sole to you, Curt! I'm opening myself up totally and showing you all the ugly, nasty, thoughts and ideas that have been running through my head since I first heard about that damn contest. I'm totally ashamed of myself, my thoughts, and my actions. Don't you ever have those kinds of thoughts?"

"Yes, but I quickly remind myself how much I love you and our life together. I remind myself that acting on those thoughts, or even letting them linger too long, puts all that at risk. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have them, but I put things into perspective; the risk isn't anywhere near worth the possible benefit. THAT'S how much I valued our relationship. It was a big kick in the ass when I figured out that you didn't value it and me anywhere near as much."

"I'm so sorry that I hurt you that much, Curt. I guess I really didn't think this through as much as I thought I did."

"That's another issue I've wondered about; how long have you been planning all this?"

"Well, the contest entry period was from April first through the thirtieth. They took six weeks to pick a winner, and we're now in the middle of June, so about ten weeks."

"So, you put ten weeks of planning into this farce. For ten weeks, you thought of how you'd lie to me and manipulate me so you could run off for a weekend and fuck another man—if you'd won. Do you realize that the only things you've planned for that long were our and our kids' weddings? Don't you think it ironic that the only thing you planned longer than the possible destruction of our marriage, was the start of it?"

"I hadn't really thought of it like that..."

"Do you realize what started me calling you so soon, was the remark you made when you left?"

"What did I say?"

"It was partially what you didn't say—'goodbye.' You said nothing to me in your big rush to get out the door. No 'goodbye,' no 'kiss my ass,' no 'call you when I get to the hotel,' no kiss, no nothing! You flat out ignored me right off the bat. Then, I heard you mutter on the way out that you were 'finally going to meet your next husband!' That got me going, as it has for years, and you know it does!"

"Oh, crap! I had no idea I'd said that aloud! I'm so sorry, Curt, that must've hurt. You know I've tried not to say that anymore..."

"And for the most part, you did a good job of keeping your fantasy life to yourself. How do you feel now that your fantasy is gone and dead? You know Bradley won't have a thing to do with you anymore, right?"

"Yes, that's why I was so surprised when I'd heard that he came here personally. I feel a little empty inside now that it's gone, but I feel a lot more empty thinking that we may not...might..." She broke down and cried for several minutes.

I sipped my lemonade and listened to the birds sing, while she gathered herself together. Part of me was torn and wanted to lend her comfort, but it was too soon for me to do that. I sat in silence.

"I'm sorry, Curt; I promised myself that I wouldn't do that. I thought I was all cried out after this last week. I guess I was wrong again."

"I want you to hear something. I recorded my conversation with Brad, and I have a part of it that I want you to listen to. I want you to know how he feels about what you've done." I pulled my phone from my pocket and opened the app I'd used. I pressed the button for the part that I wanted and had set up.

"Brad, there is something you should know that might help explain why I reacted the way I did. Dolly's been a huge fan of yours since your first big album came out. She joked that you would be 'her next husband.' If she'd done it a few times and stopped, it would've been okay, but several thousand times later, I think it took on a fantasy life of its own in her mind. When she left here last week, she didn't say goodbye to me, but I heard her muttering something about 'finally meeting her next husband.'"

"Man, she's one sick puppy. I'd never have tolerated that kind of disrespect, if I were you. You must really love her to put up with that!"

Her hands flew up to her mouth. There was her fantasy man calling her a disrespectful and a sick puppy, and saying that he'd never have put up with her crap. The rest of her fantasy life died right there, and she wept for another few minutes.

When she regained her composure, I began, "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"I want to tell you that I love you very much, even though I haven't shown it lately. Maybe I took you for granted because you've always treated me so well, and assumed that you would always treat me like that. Almost losing you has reminded me so succinctly just how much I do love you—and only you. My feelings for Bradley were just those of a schoolgirl's romantic crush, not love—especially not the enduring kind of love that we have. I love you Curt and I'll do anything I have to do, to prove it to you.

"I want to tell you that I'm deeply sorry for everything. I sorry for disrespecting you, for planning this thing, for letting myself get carried away in a stupid fantasy over the years, for lying, for ignoring you, for underestimating you, and for so much more I can't even think of it all right now!

"So, I'm sorry, I love you—and only you—so very much, and I'll do anything I have to do."

"Would you walk naked through town, with 'I didn't fuck Bradley Morgan' written in large letters on your chest and stomach, and 'but I really wanted to,' on your back?"

"Oh, crap, would you really make me do that?"

"I have a marker right here." I pulled a large black magic marker from my shirt pocket and placed it on the table. We stared at each other for thirty seconds.

"If I do that for you, can I at least move back into the guest room of my own house?"

"Probably..."

"Is there anything else you can think of..."

"Not at the moment."

"Crap! If it's all I've got, then I'll take you up on it." She reluctantly stood up and started unbuttoning her blouse. I let her get to the point where she was taking it off her shoulders.

"Stop! That's enough. I'm impressed that you'd go that far. I know how modest you've always been about being naked."

Dolly quickly covered herself back up and sat down, buttoning herself up as she moved. Her face showed massive relief.

"I think we've made some good progress today, but I want you to go back to Scarlett's place and think about this question for a few days. Then we'll get together again, when you're ready."

"Okay, sure...anything. What's the question?"

"I want you to take you time and answer this as honestly as you can. It's a two part question: if you were me, and I you, would you have done the same things I did, or what would you have done differently? And under what circumstances would you take me back? Remember, you are me, a man totally disrespected publicly by the love of his life and a guy who had your fantasy waved in his face for years before this crap went down. I will remind you one last time how important honesty is right now, and I'll also remind you that after thirty years together, I seem to know you better than you know me. So, think about it and choose your reply well. Let me know when you're ready to answer."

"Curt, I can answer that one right now. Scarlett told me to put myself in your place the other day, and I've had a lot of time to think about that. I have to honestly say that I'd never believe that 'nothing happened,' even if you had some sort of proof to the contrary. I'd have kicked your butt to the curb without giving you a chance to defend yourself or explain anything. I came to the conclusion that you're a much better person than I am, and I must change to be a better person, whether you take me back or not.

"I'm certainly not proud of myself for being like that, demanding yet unforgiving, and then being a total hypocrite when the table is turned. I can honestly say that my pride would not have allowed me to let you back into our home, and I know that I've wounded your pride deeply. All I can count on is your deep sense of right and wrong, and your ability to forgive. I already told you that I know I have to change my ways, and I fully intend to do that. I'd like your help to be a better person, Curt, please..."

"Well, that certainly was honest! Let me think on that for a while. Meanwhile, you should gather a few things and take them back to Scarlett's place. I'll stay here on the porch and ponder a bit, while you're inside."

"Curt, thank you. I now have some hope that we can work this out. I'll do as you say, but please, don't take too long. I've never been overly patient, you know." We both smirked at the truth in that understatement.

Thirty minutes later, she came out with a suitcase, Scarlett and Sam. Scarlett gave me a hug and a kiss before leaving. "Thanks for not being too hard on her, Dad, but don't take too long in making your decision. I love Mom, but she's not the best house guest right now!"

"I understand. Love you, Scarlett."

"Love you, too, Dad," she replied as she left.

Sam added his, "See ya later."

Dolly was the last one off the porch, "Curt, please remember that I love you and I'll do anything I can to make this right. Please, let me back into your life. I love you so much."

"I'll be in contact."

Monday afternoon, Scarlett called me at work, "Hi, Daddy, have you come to a decision about Mom yet?"

"No, but I will tell you that our meeting yesterday went better than I'd hoped it would."

"So, when can she come home?"

"I'm working on that. Assuming that I take her back, she has offered to change, and I'm going to hold her to that. I just need to work out a few things."

"That sounds promising, Dad. Just because she did some crazy stupid thing doesn't mean that you need to do crazy stuff, too. You need to know that she is taking this very hard. She is being so hard on herself about this mess. The longer you drag it out, the more I'm afraid she'll do something drastic."

"Something 'drastic'...like what?"

"I don't know, Dad. But if this goes on much longer, I'm afraid she may hurt herself. She talks to herself and blames herself for all the pain and suffering she gave us for those few days. It's not good to keep her in this limbo. Please, let her know something soon."

"Okay, I'll call her by tomorrow night."

"Thanks...that'll make the waiting game a lot easier to deal with." We chatted for a few more minutes before ending the call. Now, I had a deadline to deal with, and some major soul searching to do.

In some ways, it seemed like forever until I got off work the next day, but there was a certain dread that goes along with having a unique plan like mine. As I was leaving work, I called Scarlett and told her to drop off Dolly at my house after supper...say around seven. Tell her that if she was serious about changing and "doing anything to make it right," that she could bring her things along. I had conditions and they were not easy ones, but I thought they were fair. If she agreed to all of them, she could move into the guest room for now. If she didn't agree, I would bring her back.

"Thank you, Daddy! I'm sure that she'll agree to anything reasonable. I know you won't regret this! Mom is already a changed person! You'll see! I just knew..."

"Calm down, Scarlett! I'm opening a door, not my arms...not yet, anyway. We'll have to see if her words are followed up by her actions. It won't be easy for either of us."

"I know it won't, but this is the biggest step. I have to go now and tell Mom. She'll be so excited! We'll have her there at seven. Thanks again, Dad."

"You're welcome, Sweetie. Love you, bye."

"Love you, too, Dad, bye!"

I had the front door open and the screen door closed in anticipation of her arrival. I was sitting in the living room where I could see their car as they dropped her off, Sam carrying her bags to the porch. When they approached the door, they still hadn't seen me.

"Hello Sam, Dolly—come on in." I said flatly. "Sam, please set her things over there, just inside the door. Perfect....thanks."

"I just know you two will work this out," Sam said hopefully. "You two have been together for so long the world just wouldn't be the same without you being together. You were meant to be together."

"Thanks, Sam; I appreciate all you've been through this last week. I believe we can take it from here," I instructed.

"Okay, but I just know you'll get it back together. See you later!"

Dolly looked sheepish as she stood there in our living room, where this had started only ten days prior. She was dressed casual, but feminine, in a simple blue dress. She wasn't trying to be sexy, but she did want to show a bit of leg to remind me that she was indeed a woman.

"Dolly first thing is this. Don't be alarmed and let me explain before you have a fit. I want you to sign some legal papers, that I hope I never have to use—divorce papers." Her face showed every bit of the shock I'd expected to see.

"They are in the kitchen, as is a notary, who will witness them. They are not dated, and I will only date them and file them IF you break any of the promises that you make tonight. The terms of the divorce are fair—the house will be sold and everything split evenly. The only quirk in them is that you will be required to not be present at one family holiday per year—a holiday which rotates every year.

"Before you sign them, it's only fair that you should know what promises you must make tonight. Before I get to that, I have a few more questions for you. Come sit down." I picked up a clipboard that I had nearby.

"Yesterday I realized that there are two types of affairs. Obviously there is the physical affair where the two offending people make out and have sex. The other is an emotional affair, which is where one spouse—you in this case—have an ongoing emotional attachment to someone else, to the point where it takes something away from the relationship with the other spouse. In some ways, you have been having an emotional affair with Bradley Morgan for over twenty years."

"How has it taken away from our relationship? It was just a silly daydream of mine?"

"If it had stayed a 'silly daydream,' it would've been fine. I refer to the disrespect of the thousands of the 'my next husband' references. I know, you claim it was only a joke, and it started that way, but after a while; it took one a life of its own. Do you know how may times you unknowingly called out 'Bradley' when we made love?"

He hand went up to her mouth as if to stop it from happening again.

"Fourteen times; it's easy for me to remember that as they were etched into my mind. The first time was shortly after Scarlett was born; the most recent was a month ago. They had happened more often since that damned contest started; I guess you were getting yourself 'warmed up' for him."