Then when she was spent she'd allow her brother to kiss and lick her feet, to pleasure himself and cum on her toes, and she'd fall asleep with his tongue cleaning his hot cream off them. But for now, for just a few moments more she needs to rest and enjoy listening to her brothers quiet sobbing...
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roystonstarr12, Nethen and 11 other people favorited this story!
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English
Tenses
Thanks for your comment. I was experimenting, adding a back story while keeping within a single story. Writing it was harder than reading it, I can assure you!
And I will agree that past tense is not only easier to read - it's far easier to write.
Luckily I've no interest in going 'pro' - I do this for grins - but I do thank you for the feedback.more...
Tense Issues
Please please please, stick to one tense when writing. Swapping from past to present and back again so often is distracting, and quite frankly painful to read. Even more so when it ruins what would have been an otherwise good story.
And in future I'd try to avoid using present tense altogether. With the sole exception of in dialogue (where appropriate), it is so awkward to read, and detracts from the story. Not to mention that present tense make nearly no sense for most stories; after all, you are recounting an event that has already occured.
Just my two cents, but there is a reason no bestseling author writes this way.more...
Amazing!!!
I loved this sooooo much. Two of my biggest fetishes: incest and BDSM. It was absolutely great and I got so fucking wet from it. Keep writing and don't let those nasty comments get to you. :) loved it
Thanks for your comment
Sorry it wasn't something you enjoyed - others seemed to have. Good luck finding the stories you do like.
Regards,
NNM
This is why people hate their relatives.
Maybe he should just tell Mommy that his sister is a bitch. I'm sure she learned her pathetic behavior somewhere. Or maybe Daddy can beat the crap out of her and throw out the trash along with this sad story. You really thought this was worth posting? Not a single interesting or entertaining thing in it. Two thoroughly detestable characters not worth reading about.more...
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