He's Mine Ch. 01

****

I stayed quiet through supper that evening. I kept looking across the table to my brother, then looking away. I didn't want to be caught staring, but I couldn't stop my eyes from wandering. He was the only thing on my mind; him and the complications he presented in my life. I still felt guilty for involving him.

Riley managed to deflect most of our parents' attention from me, for which I was grateful. I wasn't in a mood to hold much of a conversation. There was also the chance that either Mom or Dad might take my silence for something other than what it was, and that it would lead to trouble. Arguments had started over less.

I was disappointed when Riley headed out later to go to a friend's house. I shut myself in my room for the rest of the evening, alone with my thoughts. I kept returning to the memory of sitting next to my brother, snuggled up against him. Just thinking about it made me feel calmer and happier.

Eventually my mind drifted into more explicit territory. I bit my lip and closed my eyes as I imagined Riley taking his shirt off while he worked on his car. Or, better yet, barging into my room while I was lying on my bed, helpless against anything he might try.

My hand moved down my body as my fantasies progressed. My nimble fingers slid easily into my panties and I let out a small sigh of contentment as they brushed the sensitive skin underneath. I forced myself to use a light touch; I was in the mood to make it last.

****

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night. The house was perfectly quiet, other than the faint sounds my mattress made as I rolled over. I hadn't heard Riley get back, but I assumed he must have at some point. I grabbed one of my pillows and clutched it to my chest, pretending it was him. It didn't even come close to mimicking his body.

The thought occurred to me that there was nothing stopping me from going to my brother's room and getting the real thing instead of playing make-believe with my pillow. Or rather, nothing other than my fear of rejection. I was pretty damn terrified of making him angry. I held out hope that we could at least maintain a regular brother and sister relationship as long as I was careful. If I said or did the wrong thing at the wrong time, there was a very real chance that he'd decide I was beyond salvation.

Still, it wasn't like physical contact had suddenly become verboten between us. Riley had made it clear that he didn't want to push me away. Maybe I had a little more leeway than I thought.

I swung my feet onto the floor and stood up. I was filled with an odd, unfamiliar sense of resolve. I knew what I wanted and how to get it and, physically speaking, there was nothing to stop me. As long as I kept my emotions in check, I'd be fine.

I padded out to the hallway and down to Riley's room. His door was closed, but it opened easily, barely making a sound as it swung inward. I could see the shape of my brother's body under his blanket. It was weirdly comforting just knowing he was asleep in his bed where he should be.

My bare feet didn't make a sound as I crept closer. His breathing caused his blanket to rise and fall slowly. I only hesitated for a second before lifting the corner of his blanket and slipping in next to him.

It was warm under the covers. It wasn't at all like crawling into my bed for the night; I always had to warm it up myself. Riley's was already the perfect temperature. I began to feel drowsy just lying there beside him. My courage abandoned me before I could cuddle up to him, but not enough that I considered withdrawing. It felt nice being right where I was.

****

I woke up in my own bed the next morning, which confused me. I wondered if I'd dreamed going to Riley's room. The only other possibility I could see was that he'd carried me back to my bed while I slept. I wasn't sure what to make of the situation either way.

Riley was already at the breakfast table by the time I got there, along with our parents. He gave no sign of feeling any different toward me than he had yesterday, but then he might have just been pretending nothing was amiss. It wasn't like he could talk freely with Mom and Dad so close by. I needed to get him alone with me somehow, preferably soon so I didn't have a chance to worry too much over nothing.

"Riley, can you give me a drive to school today?" I asked.

My relatively innocent question attracted the attention of all three members of my family. I blushed and looked down, already regretting my poorly thought-out request. I should have waited until we left the table to ask him. It would have achieved the same result either way, and it wouldn't have involved our parents.

"You don't need to bother your brother," Mom said. "What's wrong with the bus? I better not hear that you got kicked off for some reason."

I flushed and bit back my response. Leave it to Mom to assume I'd done something wrong. All I wanted was a few minutes of privacy with my brother.

"It's fine," Riley said. "Anna mentioned it to me before. She wants to get in a little earlier today, that's all. She has a group presentation to prepare for."

I gave him a look of gratitude, conveying silent thanks for his continued efforts to save my ass. It was a good thing he had a brain on him, because lately I was pretty much hopeless.

"Well... that sounds alright," Dad said. "I don't think we have a problem with that, do we, dear?"

Mom didn't look entirely convinced, but her expression has softened. "No, I suppose not."

I left the table as soon as I felt safe doing so, leaving most of my breakfast untouched. I began picking out an outfit for the day, putting more care into my choices than usual. It took me a while to realize that it was probably because I knew I'd have time alone with my brother. Even without being conscious of it, I wanted to make him notice me.

I settled on a shirt that was tight enough to accentuate what curves I had, and was cut just low enough to give a hint of cleavage. I paired it with the shortest skirt I dared wear to school. My choice of clothing was risky and could end up getting me in trouble if one of my teachers was in a bad mood, but that was a problem for the future.

Riley knocked on my door a little later on. I had finished dressing and was examining my outfit and hair in my mirror, making sure nothing was out of place. He stuck his head in and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Ready to go? We need to leave pretty soon if you don't want to blow your cover story."

I nodded. "Yeah, just let me grab my stuff."

I spared a final glance at my mirror before hurrying to get my school things together and meet my brother at his car. He started driving before I'd even gotten my seatbelt on. I sat quietly at first, unwilling to break the comfortable silence.

"So why'd you want a ride?" Riley finally asked. "You know I deserve an answer after I bailed you out."

"It... it's not important."

I hated myself for chickening out, but all of a sudden I didn't want to get into a real discussion. I just wanted to sit and think. It was kind of annoying how often I seemed to want what I couldn't have.

"It was just another attempt at getting alone time with me, wasn't it?"

I looked at Riley, but his face gave me precious few clues as to his mood.

"Kind of, I guess. I thought you might be mad about last night. It was hard to tell without getting you alone."

"You thought I might be upset and you immediately force us to spend time together?"

"Well... okay, so it sounds stupid when you put it that way."

I leaned my head against the window and watched the scenery pass. Riley wasn't mad, that was about the only thing I was sure of. It was hard to know exactly what he was feeling.

"You're a lot cuter when you're asleep, you know that?"

I jerked my head up, turning back to my brother questioningly. His face continued to betray nothing. He had either just complimented me, sort of, or he was teasing me.

"Thanks?"

A thin smile crossed his lips, then disappeared again.

"I s'pose it's not all bad having a girl sneak into my bed. Some guys would kill for that."

"Probably not if the girl was their sister."

His eyes flicked toward me for a second, then back to the road. His smile came back, wider this time.

"You clearly haven't been on some of the web sites I have."

I stared at him, unsure that he was saying what I thought he was. I decided there really wasn't much else it could be.

"Are you telling me you've looked up, like, incest porn or something?"

"Well... 'or something' is about right. There's a lot of stuff to be found, and you don't always even have to go looking for it."

Bizarrely, I found that I was disappointed by his answer. For a brief moment I'd allowed myself to think that maybe he wasn't as uninterested in me as he seemed to be. I knew that was stupid and that I was nothing more than a little sister to him, but hope was a powerful, dangerous thing.

"Oh," I said.

"Don't look so sad, Anna."

"M'not sad. It's just, like, I know you don't feel what I feel, but it kinda sucks that that's the way things are."

"Life sucks. It's something you just have to get used to." He shook his head. "That wasn't really the point I wanted to make. I actually... can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Okay, well... what is it you want exactly?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What do you want from me? Like, what do you want to happen between the two of us?"

"I want... well... I guess I don't know. I mean, what's the point of even thinking about that?"

Riley looked like he was going to respond, then abruptly shut his mouth. He faced straight ahead, not looking at me even out of the corner of his eye. A few seconds later he pulled over and stopped the car. I was kind of afraid that he was going to kick me out and make me walk the rest of the way.

"You've thought about it," he said quietly. "I know you have. Don't try to tell me you haven't."

He stared at me with a sudden intensity. Gazing into his eyes felt dangerous somehow, like looking at the sun.

"It was never anything serious," I mumbled, squirming uncomfortably in my seat.

"Tell me."

"I... I think about you a lot, mostly. And I like watching you sometimes."

"And?"

My face flushed. I could feel the heat of the extra blood flow.

"Sometimes I masturbate while I think about you," I said in a voice barely louder than a whisper. "It's sick, okay? I know that. But I swear I don't have, like, plans to get you all to myself or anything."

"Really? Crawling into bed with me every now and then is enough for you, is it?"

I flinched and looked away. "If you're gonna be mad about that, just... just yell at me or something. At least let me know. You're pulling the same bullshit Mom and Dad do when they're mad but trying to act like they aren't."

Riley was silent for a moment, and I tensed up a little more with each passing second. I didn't expect him to yell at me, but then I had no idea what he might do. The anticipation was almost certainly worse than whatever was coming.

"I'm not mad, Anna. I meant it when I said you're cute when you're sleeping."

He took my chin and physically turned my head back toward him. He was leaning in close to me, close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin. I was getting emotional whiplash from our conversation.

"Then what are you, Ri? What exactly are you trying to convey? Because I'm not getting it."

He smiled tightly, then leaned in closer and kissed me softly on the forehead.

"Sorry, little sis. I don't really have an answer for you."

Riley put his car back into gear and drove me the rest of the way to school. He ignored any further attempt at a discussion, and I soon gave up. It was kind of disconcerting to be relieved when he dropped me off. School was usually a place I couldn't wait to get away from. Given my brother's current mood, sitting through a few classes sounded better than trying to guess what was going on in his head. Upon reflection, I wondered if that was how he felt about me.

****

I didn't initially intend to press my luck that night. My plan had been just to go to sleep and leave Riley alone, but that didn't happen. I kept thinking about how much more comforting it was lying next to my brother instead of alone in my bed.

I got up and padded down to Riley's room, my bare feet barely making a sound against the cold floor. His door swung open just as quietly, and I tiptoed closer to his bed. He appeared to be asleep; his eyes were closed, his breathing was regular, and he showed no sign of reacting to my approach. I was ready to crawl in next to him when I stopped and frowned. Something didn't feel right about his supposed state of unconsciousness.

For a long moment I stood still and simply observed my brother. Nothing changed, and I gained no further insight from studying him, but somehow I couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't really sleeping. The longer I watched him, the more certain I became.

Instead of lying down, I opted to sit on the bottom corner of Riley's bed. I crossed my legs and hunched over a little to lean on my elbows, then went still. I held the pose for a few minutes, content to simply wait and watch.

"Are you seriously going to just sit there all night?"

I couldn't help smirking a little at Riley's mumbled question. He'd been faking it after all.

"Are you going to stop me?"

He sighed heavily and rolled over so he could face my general direction.

"How exactly would I stop you, Anna? I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do with you. I was fully prepared to share my bed again tonight, and then... well, you decide you don't want to, apparently."

"So you're just trying to appease me? Maybe hope I lose interest? That's-"

"Maybe I'm just trying to be nice. Maybe I'm trying to give you what you want, to whatever small extent that I can."

Riley's tone held a definite note of irritation. I cringed and pulled my legs up to my chest, huddling against them as though they'd protect me.

"Sorry," I said, my voice barely louder than a whisper.

All of a sudden I wished I'd stayed in my own bed. I could have held one of pillows to my chest and pretended I was cuddling with my brother like I had so many other times. It would have been a poor facsimile, and more than a little pathetic, but it could have kept me out of trouble.

Riley's expression softened noticeably as he sat up and shook his head slowly. I could tell the gesture wasn't directed at me so much as the world in general.

"I wish I could return your feelings," he said, his voice now matching mine. "Or maybe take yours away. Or... something."

"It's okay. You try. That's part of why I-"

I stopped, unwilling to finish my statement. I was sure he could guess well enough if he wanted to.

"Anna..."

I shook my head. "It's fine, I can deal with it. I've been doing okay on my own, more or less."

I started to get up, but Riley stopped me. He held my arm gently, but I could sense the strength in his grip. Knowing that he could easily overpower me if he wanted to did funny things to me. Just the thought of what it would be like to be on my back under him, being held down, knowing that he could do whatever he wanted to me...

"You make things so difficult," Riley said, interrupting my thoughts before they got too far away from me.

"So do you."

A hint of a smile passed across his lips. He tugged me toward me him, urging me closer. I thought about resisting just so he'd have to pull harder, but quickly gave in. I wanted to be near him more than I wanted to test the viability of my insane fantasies.

Riley pulled back his covers and guided me to lie down beside him. I was a little disappointed when he didn't put his arm around me, or even lie on his side facing me, but I understood his choice not to. I was just happy that he hadn't kicked me out of his room.

"Sleep, okay? I'm too tired for a conversation like this."

"Alright."

I lay still while Riley rolled over and put his back to me. I was content just to stay where I was at first. I could feel my brother's body heat, and I could hear his breathing. That should have been enough to lull me to sleep. However, a small voice inside me insisted that I could push just a tiny bit more without suffering any further consequences. I knew I shouldn't, but I was in a suggestible mood.

Slowly, carefully, I rolled toward my brother. I slipped my arm over his side and around to his tummy. He stiffened at the contact, and I sensed that he was on the verge of reprimanding me. Instead, his hand moved to cover mine, and squeezed it gently. He didn't say anything, and neither did I.

****

I was even happier than usual to remember that it was Saturday when I woke up the next morning. Weekends were always good, but even more so when I was lying in bed with my brother and didn't have to get up. I snuggled up against his back and hugged him a little tighter as he continued to doze.

My hand wandered slightly over Riley's tummy and chest. As far as I could tell my minor caresses weren't disturbing his slumber. He remained resolutely unconscious and oblivious to my fondling. I couldn't help beginning to consider what else I could get away with before he woke up and stopped me.

I felt a pang of guilt at the realization that I was essentially molesting my brother while he was helpless. It was short-lived, however, and didn't stop the wheels from turning. I really wasn't any good at quitting while I was ahead.

I hesitated, debating the merits of being adventurous against those of being cautious. I'd hate myself if I went too far and managed to push Riley away for good, but at the same time I'd never get anywhere by not taking chances when they presented themselves. There were things I wanted to try, and I had the opportunity to do so right in front of me.

I slipped all the way under the covers so that not even my head was left outside. I half-crawled, half-slid my way to the foot of the bed while doing my best not to pull on any of the bedding too much. Riley was still on his side rather than his back, which made what I was about to do even trickier. I had very little room to maneuver, and I couldn't see all that well to begin with.

Riley had worn a pair of boxers to bed. They were all that separated me from what lay beneath. A fresh wave of guilt swept over me at the idea of trying to get a peek at my brother's penis. It just wasn't something I should even be considering. I'd mostly come to terms with my illicit attraction to my only sibling, but I recognized that there was a big difference between thinking about crossing a line and actually doing it.

My hand moved of its own accord, not waiting for me to make up my mind. I located the opening in the front of Riley's boxers and used it to my advantage. I held my breath as I slipped my fingers into his underwear. I knew what was on the other side, yet somehow it still shocked me as I made contact with something warm and soft.

My brother's cock. It seemed so unreal-like I was dreaming-but it was all true. He was completely flaccid and admittedly somewhat unimpressive in that state, but nevertheless I had what I wanted. I almost burst into a fit of victorious giggles, but was able to restrain myself.

I wrapped my fingers around Riley's penis, squeezing it gently. It reacted to my touch, stiffening slowly, but noticeably as I held it. My body tingled and whatever small sense of caution I'd had deserted me. I moved my hand gently up and down, helping his erection to keep growing.

I was delirious, lost in a world all of my own. I was engaged in the stupidest, most morally reprehensible thing I could ever remember doing, but I felt no fear or remorse. In some bizarre way things made sense to me in that moment. My obsession with my brother wasn't just some rebellious need to go after the least acceptable guy around; it was something deeper than that. He had the capacity to make me feel good in a way no one else could, in more ways than one. I knew I could do that for him too if he'd let me.