Hildy Ch. 01

It took her a moment, maybe longer to realize the reason she couldn't get the knots undone was not just that I had jammed them tight with my struggles. I certainly had done that. But my blood had soaked the ties and when it dried, glued them together. Suddenly looking chagrined and worried, she hurried out and returned with a pair of scissors.

She knelt down and tried to slip the small end of the scissors under a tie, but my flesh had swollen around the ties and it was impossible. My wrists were fully numb by now and I couldn't feel her efforts, which was good for she had already further torn my swollen flesh with scissors.

She ran out, returning swiftly with my pocketknife. Opening the small blade, she was able to carefully work it under the tie and began slowly to cut off my bonds. She only cut me a little bit as she was doing so, and winced every time she saw new blood flowing. Without noticing her winces I wouldn't have been aware of the cuts. My feet and hands were completely numb and I was idly wondering if I might have permanent trouble after the long restriction of blood to them. It occurred to me that I could lose a hand or foot. As numb as I was both physically and mentally, the possibility didn't seem to matter much.

Hildy finally cut my legs free, then my arms before working the T-shirt out of my mouth. It had been soaking up my saliva for the past how many hours and swollen such that she couldn't just pull it out, she had to slice it into pieces first. I gave a great gasp, as I was finally able to fill my lungs with air. She tried to help me stand but when I could get enough air, I was too light headed to control my limbs. They weren't ready to work yet anyway after the long period of immobility; I collapsed on the floor.

She told me later, I screamed when I put my feet on the floor but I didn't know it. When I was aware again of what was happening around me, Hildy was kneeling over me, crying and trying to help me up.

I pushed her away, almost screaming at using my arms. In a few minutes the pain and lightheadedness subsided and I staggered to my feet.

Jonas was just tying his shoes and looking very worried while also very satisfied when I walked over to face him.

"Jonas, I've figured out some of your part in this, other than your participation in Hildy's bacchanalia. I am sure somehow you thought that this was a great joke to play on me. At least to begin with," I ground out through the hoarseness my attempted screaming had left me with.

Here I lowered my voice almost to a coarse whisper, "If I ever so much as see you again, Jonas, I will put you in the hospital. I will put you in the hospital every time I see you. You may take that as a solemn promise."

I paused, and then continued; "I won't say anything about you and Hildy. That's between the two of you, now." When I said that, Hildy's breath caught in her throat. "But it doesn't matter, I will put you in the hospital any time I see you. If I see you near Hildy, it will just be a longer stay in the hospital. Now get out of my house. Don't ever let me see you again."

"Hey, bro! You don't mean that! Come on, I did this for Hildy and you. Now you two can get past your screwing around," he whined.

"You know better than that, Jonas. Now get out."

Jonas was a big man, but he never questioned my intent and ability to harm him. Without another word he turned and walked out the door. That was the last time I laid eyes on him.

Hildy turned to me after he left, "Now we have to talk, I think I can get beyond what you did now."

Without a word I began dressing, staggering about as I took care not to touch the badly fouled bed. Picking my wallet and keys up off the dresser where I had left them when I went to bed the night before, I checked to see how much money I was carrying. Then I limped and staggered to the front door with Hildy right behind me.

Getting to the door, I picked up my coat and turned to her while working it painfully over my arms, "Hildy, I am very glad you can now live with me doing something I never did."

After a moment, Hildy whispered, "What?"

"I told you, Hildy, that I did not cheat on you. I didn't lie to you."

Her eyes got huge and she gasped, "But, but I heard..."

"A marriage is built on trust, Hildy, and you took a drunken rumor being passed around to titillate the guests at a party as the truth instead of what I was telling you. I don't know how many men went with that woman at the bachelor party. I'm only sure that Bob never did and that I never did. Some did, I have no idea how many or who."

With my coat finally on I looked her in the eye, carefully not touching her. She was starting to cry now. "The only one who cheated on our marriage was you, Hildy. All night long, being sure I was watching. I can almost understand why you did it. I can't forgive you for that, not now. And I can't forgive you for adamantly refusing to believe I was telling you the truth. You weren't even willing to listen to me. Maybe I can get by this sometime in the future. I don't know. I have to think, and this house is not the place for me to have a rational thought at the moment."

I looked around the living room, then stared down the hall, "I think you can understand why."

Just before I shut the door on my way out, I told her, "Hildy, I'll stay at a motel tonight. Tomorrow I'll have to decide what I am going to do for the next few days. I may want to save this marriage, but it will take some time. I have to think. We had so much going for us, or I thought we did." Then I left, wincing with pain at every step I took.

The next Saturday I moved back home, but put my things into the third bedroom when I did so. To my surprise, Hildy was walking a little gingerly. It was a long time before I asked her why and I'm ashamed of myself for being so unfeeling. She told me Jonas had been so rough in his sex making, and so large that he had damaged her. She had gone to her doctor for treatment.

For the next several weeks the only words I said to my wife were those necessary to operate the house. She still talked to me, I just didn't answer. Not usually, anyway. When she asked, finally, when we could make love again I told her I was trying to forget her telling Jonas how much better a lover he was then me. And until I could get some of the images of her and Jonas out of my head, it wouldn't be possible.

She began dressing while around the house to show off her figure, and was successful. She was trying to interest me but every time I looked at her sexy body and got hard a picture of she and Jonas together flashed through my head and my soldier went back to sleep.

Eventually I was able to accept she still cared for me. After all, it wasn't easy living with me under those conditions. It was a full six months before we were talking to one another normally. And another several months before I could bring myself to cuddle with her on the couch. That of course led not soon after to our coupling on that same couch.

Before I moved back Hildy had friends help her take the furniture in that bedroom down to Goodwill. I didn't have to look at it again. My reaction to that bed was no worse than Hildy's after she understood what had happened; what she had done, how she had misunderstood.

For a while we used the room as storage; neither one of us could face sleeping in it. Eventually we put some exercise equipment there, and called it the gym. Both of us carefully stayed away from any innuendo on the name, in fact we never mentioned the room at all unless necessary.

Hildy and I are still together, and I'm sure our marriage has re-righted itself. It certainly isn't the same. We both are aware of dark places in our souls we had never known before. Hildy can hardly believe she was capable of the bitterness and vengefulness she had turned on me.

For me, as much as I loved and do still love her, I don't understand how I could have held on to my anger so long. We are talking of having a kid pretty soon and are both looking forward to it. We'll probably sell this house and move to another area before we do. There are some really bad memories here and we may need to use all the rooms if we have as many kids as we are talking about. There is no question that I would not allow my son, even worse my daughter, to use the gymnasium.

One of our friends took me aside over a year later to tell me Jonas had called him asking to know if I still was holding a grudge; asking him to feel me out. It took just a minute for me to think it over. I asked him to tell Jonas I couldn't tell what my reaction would be if I saw him again but it wouldn't be in our best interests to find out. I don't expect to hear from Jonas again.

Hildy told me a couple of weeks ago when we were both feeling mellow that the thing you hear about a man's size on the internet is a bunch of crap. Jonas was big, but he was really a poor lover. His size only contributed to the pain she felt with his rough handling.

All the things she had said while using him had been aimed at spurring him on and teaching me how she felt when she had supposed I had been untrue. Of course, once she understood I had never cheated on her, she knew only too well how I felt while bound to that table. She loved me even more for accepting what had happened. After what she had put me through, and I had stayed, she knew no one could ever love a woman more than I did her. It is good being able to talk about what happened.