Holly Ch. 02

He decides to occupy himself by writing in a journal, something he does regularly, if not religiously. Too many days have just been the same routine to want to put down on paper. He retrieves the journal he was saving for 2020, deciding this phase of his life starts now, not at the beginning of the calendar year.

He uses a common code that A/os can easily read, but would slow down a reasonably intelligent person. It's a letter replacement with a few tricks that someone who likes puzzles could solve, just not hastily read. Would MK ever snoop in his room? The idea that she might do so bothers him less than he'd have thought, but it's for the best she doesn't know his impure thoughts about her... yet.

Holly lies down on his side and begins to write what turns out to be a litany of gratitude and supplication. He doesn't quite believe he saved Diana's life, but if that's true, he's grateful for that most of all. He prays to his gods for her increasing strength and inner peace.

He's grateful that Damian is in this world and in his life and prays for protection and blessings for his family.

He's grateful for Mama, how she raised him as her son with freely given affection and no resentment despite her grief over her daughter. He prays that wherever she is in the universe she knows that his love for her is undying. He hopes she knows he's finally found his true mate because she'd wanted that for him. At the beginning of his time with Allison, she'd tried to tell him how that would end, but he hadn't listened. It was one lesson he learned the hard way, despite her constant efforts to spare him what heartache she could.

He's grateful for the job that has kept him afloat for years. He prays he won't forget how lucky he is compared to many who'd love to be in his position.

He's thankful for this house. He prays to be a good steward of MK's land and dreams.

He's thankful for MK's survival and prays her recovery can continue. He knows not to pray for her leg to regenerate, but maybe there's a way she can feel healthier. Once he knows her better, he'll find out if there is anything more to be done. Once she's his, he'll use his natural dominance to make her do those things.

Her effect on him is separate from his prayers for her. He thanks his gods he feels like an alpha again in his very cells. He's grateful for the heady feeling of desiring someone. His main reason for wanting her well is for her alone, whether or not he's in her life. His selfish reason is that something Damian said clicked for him or perhaps it was just that he said it like it was a fact. It really doesn't matter that he might look like his father. Hell, people unrelated sometimes resemble each other and it means nothing at all. More importantly, is 'rapist' a gene that could be passed down? It suddenly sounds absurd. His friend seemed to think so.

He could have pups with her if she's omega. They could just have kids if she isn't. Her body is clearly not strong enough for pregnancy, but with the right care, maybe she'd even want that. For the first time, he hopes someone he wants is a breeder. The only thing that scares him now is that it might kill her if they mate and can't control themselves. Holly sighs that there is always some obstacle to acting in accord with his true nature.

The reality hits him that he'll go into heat soon. There's no way she won't know unless she's led a very sheltered life and he doubts that. He hopes that if his behavior doesn't change and he fights through flu-like symptoms to still be of use, she won't get mad he never told her or kick him out. Even if he's a perfect gentleman, that contract will mean nothing if she feels unsafe. It's unfounded, but most betas would respect the irrational fear.

There's a scent that lasts about two days. It can't be washed off and that's yet another reason to stay home from work. He only works with guys and male betas usually hate it. On the upside, it helps with hunting because prey animals are drawn to it. They think the salty-sweet smell is something nice to eat. Of course, that's only an advantage if the alpha has a mate and doesn't feel too lousy to be out in the woods. "A fuck and a hunt" is known to be the ideal day for an alpha. The cherry on top is bringing home a gift for the omega to prepare, which usually gets him (or her) laid again. Holly imagines that must be deeply gratifying.

Though he hasn't known her long at all, an idea comes into focus that he's surprised hasn't yet. If she is omega, does she have heat cycles, too? Maybe her body is too damaged. Would she take suppressants? He certainly hopes not because that would be even worse for her health than a pregnancy. A wicked thought occurs: It's possible that his cycle could trigger hers. That's been known to happen. God, he'll feel smug if he can restore a system of her body just by being close to her.

Then, like he's fallen down a rabbit hole, he's immersed in a fantasy. It's daytime in the spring. He lounges on a firm bed in his underwear. The door to the balcony is open and the temperate breeze licks over his skin. MK's knock at the door to his room is soft and rapid as a bird's heartbeat. He sits up but doesn't cover himself. "Come in," he calls.

The sight of her tells him all he needs to know. Her pale face is shiny and heated. He can see from across the room that her breathing is shallow. Her eyes look bewildered and helpless. "You can come 'ere," he says. She does. "Holly," she breathes. She can't seem to find the words to say more than that.

"It's okay. I know what you want. I want that, too," he says sweetly.

She begins the ritualized movement of her kind, rubbing her face and hair and shoulders against him. It's gentle and demure, but that she's doing this at all is bold enough to frighten her. "It's okay," he murmurs again. "I like this, but do you really want this or you just can't help it?"

"Both," she whispers in his ear.

That's how it's supposed to be. That's nature.

He can smell her and, unlike alphas, it doesn't come from her pores. She's wet for breeding. Her slick smells like a hot spring.

Her dress opens in the back and he puts his arms around her to unzip it. There's no bra to unhook, something that's been driving him mad for months. For all her religious devotion, she has zero shame about the shape God made her. Her skin is celestial.

They touch each other with light fingertips and let their breathing sync up. The invisible chemical tendrils begin to intertwine. That's more than casual mating just to make each other feel better. It's her becoming all his, no one else's. Most alphas would not ask again but given his origin, he must.

"Do you mean that, too?" His voice is thick with reluctance to break the spell, but he loves her too much to steal her.

"If you want me to be," she answers.

"Oh my god, yes." He kisses her unpainted red lips dominantly. He opens them with his and she sucks his tongue into her mouth. She whimpers around it. Her touch is greedier and she pulls him closer, trying to get underneath him.

He stands and picks her up to lay her down comfortably. She wears only panties and her metal leg. "Do I take this off?" he asks.

"Anything you want." He can tell by her tone she's answering more than his question. Anything means everything.

He stands over her, drinking in the sight of her beautiful body. Her panties are drenched to see-through and stretched to bursting over her aroused omega pussy. It's as inviting as everything else about life with her. She squirms. "Please, Alpha," she moans.

He can picture her creamy inner thighs clearly enough he knows how they feel to the touch. When his eyes roam lower, the image blurs. There is some kind of glitch like she's being erased.

Rudely back in the real world, Holly flops onto his back in frustration. He rubs the heels of his hands over his eyes. "Fuck! It's your fantasy, just make it up," he grumbles.

The problem is that he has no idea how her prosthetic attaches, or how much of the leg she has. The amputation is neither a fetish nor a turn-off. It's his own ignorance that's pulled him out of the loveliest of waking dreams. After a couple of minutes, he decides it's no use. Maybe he's just too much of a realist, after all. One thing he does know: his erection is urgently hard and huge like his body expects to breed right now. He can't see her in this state, much as he wants to. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door. This won't take long at all.

He strokes up and down his shaft and can even feel his knot expanding underneath, something that never happens unless he's deep inside a female body. It's not even supposed to. His body is all haywire today.

The orgasm makes up for that. Another thing to be grateful for is that he can still come in the way he needs. The release brings more pleasure than it has in years. This could become a new hobby, he thinks.

When he's decent enough to be seen, he returns to his soft spot on the floor and writes down as much detail as he can. Only thoughts, it was still a meaningful experience worth recording... in code, naturally. One day, after they're lovers, he might want to recall his first night in her house.

He stays up until he simply can't. Perhaps taking inspiration from the other world he just visited, he undresses to sleep in his underwear and a T-shirt. It feels like a sensuous luxury. The room is pitch black with the light off. He sinks into sleep thinking about how he spent an intimate evening with her and never saw her.