Holly Ch. 04

"No, I'm not like that, either. I do understand what you're saying. Not everyone in the world is a whore nowadays."

MK laughs. "You said it, not me! I wouldn't think you were a whore... just normal."

"I wouldn't like it if you thought that about me."

He observes her across the table as they eat. She seems to be in less pain. Maybe talking helps even someone as introverted as she might be. The conversation about sex is not slowing the onset of his heat cycle. He can tell because the magical food isn't curbing his hunger as it would most days; each pleasurable bite seems to vanish in his stomach. She might know by now. She'd admitted in so many words she's in heat already. "Omega pains" could only be about breeding. They are tough otherwise. It's part of their nature to fiercely protect their own and a high pain threshold helps them to do so.

"You know, I should tell you, I'm going into heat. I'm pretty regular, even celibate. It happens every six weeks. I just thought you should know," he says. He doesn't bother to explain she doesn't have to fear him. She's omega, so must already know that he can control himself. If an alpha is going to be a predator, he'd be one anyway. It's a beta myth that the breeding cycle turns A/os into beasts.

"It's okay. I'm not sure I do need to know, but thank you for trusting me. I guess if you aren't feeling well, it's good for me to know that. I can give you your space."

He shakes his head and swallows quickly. "No, I don't want that. I want to be your alpha. That's never happened to me before. I'm fine with it, too. If you want, I'll never mention it again, you can ask me to leave when the world unfreezes because I don't think I'll change my mind about this."

MK sits back in her chair like she's been knocked back by an invisible force. "I don't think I want the world to unfreeze... not for a while. You want... all of it? I'm confused because I thought I just told you... then again, I can be unclear. Maybe in my mind, I made more sense. I don't, um, do that anymore."

"You need it to be for love and you can't see yourself loving me. I understand. For me, it happened fast, almost at first sight," he says serenely.

"Well, that's our way. Maybe a little old-fashioned, but this is how it used to happen all the time, I think. You aren't worried about the chemical bond?" she asks.

"Not in this case. Nature rarely makes a mistake with that and I can't believe it could be wrong for us. It's a risk I'd take-we've both been through harder things than undoing a bond."

There is not much that's more difficult than breaking one's addiction to the wrong A/o. The only known way is to get as far from the other person as possible and immerse oneself in a new language, culture, whole new life. Over time, the A/o can become free again, but in most cases, people simply stay, especially if there are pups.

"The Catholic thing will take some time for me, but I can keep an open mind," he continues. "I can't claim to believe things I never considered could be real, you know?"

MK laughs. "You don't have to be Catholic to marry one. I'd have to make promises to the Church, including that our kids will be baptized and raised Catholic." She laughs again, shaking her head. "Are we really talking about this? You weren't joking, were you?" she asks, appearing slightly paranoid for a moment.

"No, no way. I can be a wiseass, but not about this. I wouldn't disrespect you like that. About the kids, I'm okay with them believing as you do, but only if the Church doesn't teach them lies about us, that they're sinful for being A/o, if they are."

MK gives him a curious look as if puzzled how he could have that idea. "No, we're taught that we're very special. There's a school of thought that it was people like us in the Garden of Eden, then when they were expelled they turned into betas. They just don't want us to breed outside of marriage."

"I always knew I felt a little sorry for betas, but I wasn't sure why," Holly says.

"I think I've been living in a beta body since the accident. It's like the omega-ness was determined to be non-essential to my survival, so it went away. All my senses have been duller and I grew weaker."

"You must be exhausted. You've been up for a long time today. Are you tired?"

"Not at all. This is the first time I've been myself in two years. I think I'll stay up a while."

Her sparkling eyes reveal she's telling the truth.

Holly thinks he knows the answer, but can't resist asking her: "What's brought it back?"

"I've been seeing a doctor who's been giving me treatments. I didn't know if it was helping... then I met this alpha," she grins.

"So the doctor says it's okay for you to get pregnant?" he asks. "I mean, it's safe for you?"

"I really must not seem like an omega anymore. Of course, I don't know if I can get pregnant, but it won't hurt me to try. You know I can't use contraception, right?"

"I don't think I can, either, but for different reasons. I don't just need a fuck, I need all of it. I want all of it-pups, your submissiveness, everything."

"Holly, are you sure you don't say this to any girl in front of you when you're in heat?" she teases him.

He chuckles. "No, I'm like you- I ran in the other direction my whole life. Then I met you and I changed back into what I'm supposed to be."

"Holly... do you want to come to my room?"

His eyebrows raise adorably and it's all blue fire below them. "Yeah. Yes, I do."