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She gestures to one of the snugs in a corner and we take a seat opposite each other, I watch as she sits back and crosses her legs. Her hands fidget in her lap and her brows are knitted in a tight line above her eyes "you know" I begin and she looks up at me "you're going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep frowning like that."

She laughs dryly and smiles weakly at me "my girlfriend was meant to be flying out for Christmas." My heart stops in my chest at the mention of a girlfriend I had no idea existed. Two thoughts fly through my mind at that time; one - she's into girls. Two - she's even more unavailable than she was a minute ago.

I chew my lip for a moment as I consider what she's just said "and I'm guessing due to your foul mood that's not happening anymore?"

"Basically. Apparently somethings come up that just can't wait, something more important." She scoffs and runs her hands through her hair again "you know, we've been together since we were sixteen? That's six years together almost and she's probably one of the most selfish people I've ever had the misfortune of knowing." That statement confuses me and it must read clear on my face because she grins at me and laughs dryly "I know what you're going to ask. Why do I stay with her?"

"Pretty much, but I'm expecting the usual generic bullshit reply. Because you love her?" Admittedly I sound extremely snarky with my reply, but she doesn't snap back. She looks at me sheepishly and shrugs her shoulders.

"She wasn't always like this. We've had our ups and downs, when I made the choice to study over here we decided to split up. We spent the summer that year travelling around Europe together and it was, magical. We didn't argue once, in fact I'm pretty sure I fell in love with her all over again. We ended up staying together, we speak daily and I get over there as often as I can and vice versa. But she doesn't always follow through with her plans. Sometimes things she deems more important come up."

"What could be more important than seeing you?" Smooth. "I mean, what does she think is more important?" Well covered... kinda.

Emily grins at me as she quirks a brow and folds her hands in her lap "she's a theatre student. Wants to be on the West End. Usually bit parts come up and she gets offered them and I always get the same brush off bullshit 'this could be the one darling' tsk" she looks unimpressed and shifts in her seat slightly. "So, that pretty much brings me full circle. Girlfriend was meant to be coming, isn't now. So I'm now stuck trying to find a flight back to London so I'm not left alone." Shit, flights. I look at my watch and grimace.

"I really don't mean to cut this short but I have a flight to catch or my mom's going to send out a lynch mob." This earns me a laugh from the woman sat across from me and her eyes meet mine. For that one moment the atmosphere around us changes, something between us changes. The air between the two of us charges, becoming thick to the point it's almost hard to breathe. I swallow and bite down on my bottom lip before she turns her head to look away and clears her throat.

"The least I can do is give you a lift, you've let me chew your ear off for long enough."

The car ride there is silent, I keep catching Emily looking over at me and looking away guiltily. I can't fight the small thrill that shoots through me every time I catch one of her fleeting looks. The air in the car is still charged, it's almost palpable as it radiates between the two of us. When she pulls up at the drop off point at JFK I turn to her and smile shyly "thanks for the ride. You really didn't have to do that."

The way she smiles at me is blinding and I feel my heart begin to race "honestly Kaitlyn, it was the least I could do." I sit there just watching her for a moment and then I'm suddenly hit with an impulse I know I'm going to kick myself for later.

"Give me your phone." I hold my hand out and she looks at me confused.

"Why?"

"Because I'm secretly hoping to find a naked picture or two." Rolling my eyes I catch her slight blush and grin "I'm going to give you my number. If shit goes down and you need to talk, you can call. Or text. Whatever suits you." Emily hands me her phone with trepidation painted clear on her face "and if I'm being honest I could use the distraction, my parents drive me insane." This earns me a laugh and I grin at her, she has a beautiful, carefree laugh. I make a mental note to try and make her laugh more in the future just so I can hear that gorgeous sound.

"Fine, have a safe flight." Once again we find each other to staring at each other so I do something else completely on impulse, something that I'm going to spend the next three weeks thinking about obsessively. I lean forward and kiss her cheek softly, when I pull away Emily's eyes are wide and her hand is resting on her cheek in the spot where I kissed her. It's dark inside the car but the blush on her cheek is unmissable, I'm also sure that my heart could be heard pounding away somewhere in the middle of Alaska it was beating so loudly.

"Have a good Christmas Em..." I murmur as my hand pauses on the door handle.

"You too Kait."

***

When I return from winter break I have a delightful bounce in my step and a happy tune on my lips. Christmas had been an interesting affair, sure seeing my family was nice. But it was the daily texting spells with Emily that had me in such a good mood as I find myself on my first run since being back at school.

Once you chip away at that ice cold demeanour there's an extremely funny, intelligent and kid woman just screaming to be noticed. Granted every time she told me she was hanging out with Charlotte I'd seethe with an unburdened jealousy. But then something would come up and the texting with continue and more often than not I'd fall asleep with the biggest smile on my face.

Our last encounter has been looping in my mind on repeat, playing over and over again. I think about everything we said, the way the air around us charged and a flicker of hope would ignite inside of me that I was quick to douse.

The music in my ears was providing a soundtrack to the rhythm of my feet on the sidewalk, I have my head down and I am running for all it is worth. The January air bites my cheeks, ears and nose but the rest of my body burns through the exertion. Rounding a corner in the direction of my dorm I stop abruptly to avoiding colliding straight into an unsuspecting pedestrian. "Holy shit, almost!" I exclaim before I get a good look at the person in front of me. Standing before me is Emily with a smirk on her lips and one of her perfect brows quirked. I pull my headphones out and set her with a smile of my own "we need to stop running into each other like this, people are bound to start talking."

She laughs, that splendid bell like laugh, the kind of laugh that makes my heart clench with joy to hear it "let them, you need to start watching where you're going" I wave her off and take a long drink from my water bottle "good Christmas?" I quirk an eyebrow at her and cock my head to the side, she knows how my Christmas was, we'd spent most of it talking.

"It was ok, my sisters were all over with their kids and respective husbands so the house was crazy, got dragged to mass a few times. But it was nice to see everyone. You?"

"Had better" She smirks at me and shrugs her shoulders "caught up with my brother, saw Charlotte, managed to piss my mum off. But that's not really anything new." The mention of her girlfriend instantly sets me on edge and I begin looking for an excuse to leave, to walk away from this conversation. I look at my watch and wince a little.

"Shit is that the time? I've got class in an hour and I need to shower" I walk around her and turn to take a few steps backwards "catch up later?"

Emily looks confused but still retains that gorgeous smile on her face "oh sure, it was good seeing you Kait."

I nod in response and turn to jog away in the general direction of my dorm Catalina Suarez, you are a fucking idiot! Seeing Emily again feels bittersweet almost, it's clear as day to me that I'm crazy for her but there's the ever present girlfriend looming over me. I shouldn't let myself think about her that way, especially when I know I can't have her the way I want. How is it you want her Suarez? Oh, I'd have her in anyway she'd let me!

Nothing can happen, I need to come to terms with that. But that doesn't mean I can't be her friend? Does it?

***

The coming weeks pass pretty slowly, my infatuation with Emily doesn't wane if anything it gets worse. Now when we're on shift together we actually talk, nothing personal but things are a lot more relaxed than they used to be and I begin seeing a different side to her. Which doesn't make my crush any easier to forget.

Sometime towards the end of March I somehow manage to be volunteered to complete the end of quarter stock count with her. Which excites me more than it should, three hours of uninterrupted time with Emily? What's not to love?

We work in silence for a while, I find myself taking surreptitious looks at her jean clad legs, truly appreciating the way the blue denim tapers in at her hips and hugs her thighs like a second skin. She has a plaid shirt on that creeps up whenever she reaches up to one of the higher shelves, exposing a smooth, toned stomach that makes my mouth dry. However, as much as I love checking out my blonde friend, the work is tedious and after an hour or so I find my concentration waning.

With a loud sigh I kneel on the floor to begin counting the bottles of mineral water kept on one of the bottom shelves "estoy tan aburrido."

Emily turns to smirk at me "deja de quejarte y sigue con eso."

My mouth almost hits the floor when I hear her reply to me in Spanish "you speak Spanish?" I accuse loudly, this causes her to chuckle dryly and she shrugs her shoulders coolly.

"I had an expensive education."

"Care to elaborate?" I counter, she can be so obtuse sometimes but I'm obsessed with learning any information she's willing to impart to better douse some of the mystery that surrounds this woman. Maybe then I can stop obsessing over her.

I listen as Emily takes a deep breath and see her run her hands through her hair "my parents, well my Mum more than Dad, sent my brother and I to private schools. One of the best in the country, very exclusive, very expensive."

"Kind of like Hogwarts?" I joke, and savour the way her laugh sounds out in the empty shop.

"If only, no it was very pretentious. I hated it, so did Max. But I had no choice, I was made to learn an instrument and go to dance classes and do all the things a 'lady' should do as my mother would say. She hated that my Dad would take me and Maxie to football at the weekend, that's soccer to you lesser folk."

I cock an eyebrow and fold my arms over my chest "you know, one day you're going to make a joke at our expense and do it to the wrong person. Besides, just because I was born in Texas doesn't make me American. I'm proud of my Puerto Rican heritage."

"Good for you" she winks at me and my heart stops for a moment "back to my story now" I roll my eyes and go back to counting the items in front of me "working up to my teen years, just after my parents divorced, I rebelled a little. My Dad has always been much more laid back than my mother, she forced me to learn an instrument. For a year I played the bag pipes just to piss her off. She put her foot down and signed me up for piano lessons at boarding school, I was also sent off to dance class as a kid."

"So all in all you were a proper little lady? What the hell happened?" I joked.

"I grew up I guess. I started spending more time at dad's, didn't speak to mum unless it was crucial. When I came out, holy shit. She hit the roof. Dad was lovely about it, told me he wasn't surprised. He's always been kind to Charlotte, even if he thinks I deserve better."

"Well I can't really comment on that, what made you come all the way to America to study?" I ask, truly curious.

She snickers slightly and stretches out to a high shelf, bringing down a box of merchandise to count and giving me a heart wrenching view of her stomach "well I guess that was another huge fuck you to my mother. She's a doctor, she works in a local doctors practice and wanted my brother and I to follow in her footsteps. Only problem is Maxie went into law and works with my dad. I've always wanted to be a doctor but I don't want to go into general practice in the UK. I want to be a surgeon, so that's what I'm doing. I know if I was to do this in England she'd spend the next eight years interfering whilst I go through university and all the rest of it. But out here I'm in control. I chose New York, all being well I'll be going to Harvard for med school and then into a good residency programme." The track on Emily's iPod changes just as she finishes talking and she looks at me with a wicked glint in her eyes "I love this song, mind if I turn it up?"

"Go for it." She cranks up the volume and a rock and roll song I don't recognise begins playing, I'm amused to see her dance slightly on the spot. Standing from my position I move to the drinks fridge around the counter, my attention is soon turned elsewhere when I hear Emily begin to sing.

I look over and watch her watching me, a small smirk on her lips "Friday night I crashed your party, Saturday I said I'm sorry, Sunday came and trashed me out again. I was only having fun, wasn't hurting anyone and we all enjoyed the weekend for a change" I quirk my eyebrow at her, my cheeks heat slightly but I turn my attention back to the task at hand. Unfortunately for me I don't hear her sneak up on me when the chorus begins "you may be right, I may be crazy" startled, I turn around and see her standing a foot or so away, her whole body moving in a carefree way to the music. "But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for!" I raise an eyebrow and shake my head at her.

A playful smile touches my lips as I watch her dance around for a moment, when she catches my eye again she stops and puts her hands on her hips "what's so funny?"

Shrugging my shoulder, I cock my head and regard her carefully "nothing, I'm just wondering where it's gone is all."

She looks at me bewildered for a moment, her brows furrowing and her lips tightening slightly "where what's gone?"

"The stick that seems to permanently reside up your ass. It appears to be missing."

Emily stands stock still for a moment and watches me carefully for a second, for a fleeting moment I begin to feel sorry for what I said. I didn't want to push my luck with her but she usually enjoys my sense of humour. My worries are short lived though as she soon starts laughing hard "fair comment Suarez. Billy Joel is a secret love of mine. Not embarrassed. Well, probably not as much as I should be anyway." She ended that with another wink and it took all my will power not to melt into an oestrogen filled puddle right there on the floor.

Parting ways that evening was a sad affair for me, Emily had been a pleasure to be around all night. Cracking jokes, offering insights to who she is, asking me about my family. By the time I got back to my room I was smiling ear to ear, a goofy grin firmly planted on my features.

"I take it work was enjoyable?" My intuitive friend asked as I leaned against the closed door to our shared room and sighed like a love sick teenager. I was quick to frown at her as I felt my chest tightening, the full force of my feelings felt like they could drown me at any time and as always, I felt foolish when I considered just how bad I had it for my new found English friend.

"It was, I'm a fucking idiot." I said with a sad tone, moving over to my bed I sit on the edge and hold my head in my hands "what am I doing Clara?" I can feel the tears burning in my eyes, threatening to spill over. My chest feels heavy as I'm hit with the reality of what's going on. This woman, this beautiful, mysterious woman has captivated me and she's unavailable. I want her so bad and I can't have her, not that I'd ever be able to have her anyway. "I'm such a fucking masochist."

Clara moves from her bed and I feel the mattress dip as she sits down next to me, her arm drapes around my shoulders as she attempts to comfort me. "You've got it for her pretty bad eh?"

I look up and stare at her, my brows knitted tightly, I blink hard for a few moments trying my hardest to stop the tears that are threatening to spill over from breaking free from my eyes "you have no idea."

Chapter three: That's what friends are for

Emily and I find ourselves becoming close friends as the semester draws on. On more than one occasion we see each other outside of work, we began running together, going out for coffee or to the movies. My infatuation with her hadn't gone, the more time I spend with her the more I find myself falling deeper, falling harder, soon she's like oxygen. I can't imagine not having her around, so being the greedy, masochistic son of bitch that I am, I take what I can get. And if that's just friendship, well, I guess that will have to do.

Nearing the end of the semester I find myself in an awkward position, part of my final grade includes arranging and directing a twenty minute musical number. I chose my vocalists, my musicians, perfected the arrangements and was confident that I was going to pass my freshman year with a solid grade.

That was until my pianist came down with a case of the mumps three days before we were slotted in to perform and be graded. "You're just going to have to play Kait" Chloe said as she paced the rehearsal space.

"How the fuck can I direct you lot from behind a piano?" I snap back at her, running my fingers through my freshly cut, short brown locks.

Chloe glares back at me and crosses her arms over her chest defiantly "I don't know. But YOU need to fix this. I'm going to get coffee." That's when inspiration hit me, I know it's a long shot but as the stubborn blonde leaves the room I fish my cell phone out of my purse and dial a number with trembling fingers.

The person picks up after three rings and I breathe a sigh of relief "Emily, hey it's Kaitlyn."

"Kind of figured, I have this magically thing called a caller display."

"Ha, you know you're cute when you try and be funny but I'm in a jam and I need a favour." I chew my lip and pace in a small circle, earning some questionable looks from my classmates .

"Shoot."

"You play piano right?"

"Erm, it's been a while but yeah why?" Comes the reply, Emily sounds dubious and I find myself chewing my bottom lip, my hand moves to my hair and I begin twirling a lock nervously between my fingers.

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate but my final grade depends on this, I need someone to step in for my pianist. He's been taken ill short notice. I'd do it, before you say anything, but I can't direct from behind a piano."

I can hear Emily sigh through the handset and I don't realise I'm holding my breath until I hear her speak again and let it out in a long sigh "I guess so. But you owe me. Where and when?"

"The arts building, drop me a text when you get here and I'll meet you outside." Emily disconnects without saying bye and I turn to the group sitting, staring at me "I've sorted it. Start doing your warmups. As soon as Chloe and Emily get here we'll get to it." Without waiting for an answer I walk out of the room and proceed to walk to the outside of the building to sit on the low wall lining the walkway to the front entrance.

I know I said I'd wait for her call but in all honesty I'm giddy at the idea of her dropping everything to come and help me. She has a girlfriend... I shake away my snarky inner thoughts and cast my gaze down to the sidewalk beneath my feet. Shaking my leg in nervous anticipation I lose myself to my thoughts, but I'm ready for seeing her. I only saw her last night but in the few hours where I wasn't in her company , missed her.