Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 038

Hi all! Annabelle here with the next chapter of Home for Horny Monsters!

Full confession, I honestly thought I had uploaded this a week ago. I'm so sorry for making people wait, I've just been really busy with this, finishing Iceman's last chapter, and other writer things (which you will eventually see on here, so don't worry).

As always, if you are new to this, you are going to be SO lost. Start at Chapter 1, cause this home certainly has its secrets, characters, and more than a couple of villains.

Returning reader? Welcome back! I've gotten some awesome comments and letters from some of you regarding some of the house's bigger mysteries, and it always amazes me how close some of you have come to solving them. I love hearing from you all (even if I don't respond), so keep them coming. I love how active this community is, and will stick around for as long as you all keep reading, so don't forget to rate, review or share this tale with your friends!

Page of Pentacles

Mike gazed morosely at his cellphone, watching the timer for the sundial eventually hit zero. For good or bad, he wouldn't be there to reset it.

Time was up.

Standing on the terrace of the tower, it took a supreme effort to stick his phone back in his pocket rather than throw it off the side.

"I take it the dial has reset." Ratu spoke from the chaise lounge behind him, her legs dangling off the side. She was engrossed in another of Yuki's journals. She had stayed up most of the night, unable to sleep herself, poring over as many of them as she could. Apparently, Yuki had quite the talent for poetry, and Ratu had shared more than a couple with him.

He had been up most of the night as well. They had built a nice fire in the fireplace to keep the room warm, and he had done his best to try and sleep. It wasn't meant to be. On top of his concern for the others in his house, he realized just how much he depended on snuggling up to Tink to stay asleep. Apparently she had somehow become his personal security blanket, because he had woken up more than once with a sense of dread.

Zel was down below, rummaging through Yuki's alchemical stores. It would seem that the kitsune wasn't particularly skilled at making potions, but Zel was hoping to put together a few basics before they set out.

A centaur horn played outside, eliciting a groan from Ratu.

"They're still there, aren't they?"

"Have been all night, as far as I can tell." He turned his head toward the cliffside trail. Orion was down below, pacing back and forth. The centaur had gotten particularly vocal last night with the help of a concoction likely brewed by his shaman, but the wind had carried away most of his words. Mike shook his head. "I don't think they're going to leave."

"Neither will we, unless we discover a secret exit of some sort." Ratu turned the page. "How is Zel doing?"

"Still shaken up, but she's determined." Last night, Zel had discovered a comfortable stable for her to sleep in. It was attached to the yard out back, and she had quickly wandered amongst the statues, a look of horror fixed on her face. She was adamant that she recognized some of the faces out there as members of her tribe that had wandered off to face the Snow Queen, never to be seen again. He found it odd that Yuki would keep them stored away like that, rather than simply pushing them over a cliff.

Then again, based on what Ratu had told him, Yuki wasn't all she seemed to be either. Her journal spoke often of her journeys among the island. Any encounters with centaurs typically ended with her sneaking off or, at worst, getting into a fight or playing a magical prank. There was no malice or hate in her journal, only a desperation to understand what had happened to her dearest Emily.

Daisy had explained it to them as best as she could when asked. It had taken forever with only a few words at a time on the slate, but she told them that Yuki and Emily had made the tower their own personal love nest. Apparently it had become a home away from home for them, discovered completely on accident during a trip abroad. Emily had destroyed the old portal to this place after connecting a new one, and the two of them constantly snuck away to enjoy the tower's relative peace and quiet.

One night, Emily got out of bed to wander the tower, leaving both Yuki and Daisy behind. Several years passed, years of searching for her. Yuki had been unable to use the portal, and had assumed the centaurs had taken her.

After months of constant harassment, she was forced to believe that Emily had simply vanished.

That was, until the night many years later when Emily came back. Daisy couldn't say much about that day because she had been off scouting a new area for them to explore. She had come back to discover that Emily had suddenly returned, bypassing the many wards that had been placed around the portal. Instead of a greeting or an explanation, Emily had attacked her former lover, essentially leaving her for dead.

The experience had changed Yuki, and not necessarily for the better. Daisy insisted that the fox was still a good person, but when challenged by the centaurs, she had started collecting them, using one of the magic items that had been hidden away in the tower called the Gorgon's Eye.

Daisy took them to the room she had warned Mike about when asked about what had been kept there. Upon entering, they discovered a room similar in structure to Ratu's laboratory, only it was primarily an armory. Lit by some torches and a natural skylight, it looked similar to the old library he had stumbled into with Tink and Cecilia.

A few of the objects had been broken apart and stacked on the tables around the room, but the rest were stored in protective cases that had no hinge or latch. Daisy explained that they had been locked up with spells to keep anyone from getting them, and he knew better than to attempt to open them.

A case made of thick wood held nothing but a few inches of water in the bottom. When he approached it, the water formed into a sword, then a handax, then a bow, as if trying to figure out what he would like best. When he moved away, it turned into a massive trident, then collapsed into a pool of water once again.

One of the displays had been broken apart. The only thing inside was an empty stone box that looked like it held something the size of a ping pong ball. In the locked case attached to it was a strange looking sword with a sickle near the end of the blade.

An odd looking mace was in a super thick case and held in place by several heavy looking chains. It rattled the chains when Mike came near, so he immediately moved away. Ratu suggested there was little to learn from the room after inspecting the broken items, so they agreed to leave it alone.

Throughout the tower they also found several hand-drawn tarot cards, hundreds of them tucked away everywhere. Ratu warned him away from messing with them. Apparently several of them radiated magic, and she was fairly certain Yuki had spent her solitary confinement perfecting the art of inscribing runes into the cards.

It was too bad they couldn't find a use for the cards, he thought, walking to the window to look down at the centaur camp. They had set up several more flags along the edge of the cliff, and a few of them had symbols he couldn't quite make out from here. "So what happens when we get past them? After we get home?"

"If it's like when we came here, probably another fight." Ratu grimaced. "I'd like to think I'm better prepared this time, but Yuki seems like a planner. I imagine the whole house is covered in snow by now."

"And the others?"

"That's a great question. I have my ideas, but none of them are optimistic."

He felt sick to his stomach. Had Yuki hurt the others? Or maybe even turned them to stone? Momentary anger filled him, his hands clenching tight. "I wish we knew what those weapons did. I imagine they would help us turn the tide."

Ratu closed her book and lifted her eyes to meet his gaze. "Do you honestly believe that?"

"Of course I do. If that stuff is locked up, it must be powerful."

"That is true. Those things do radiate magic like tiny stars."

"So maybe we should look into them! If I had a powerful weapon, maybe I could beat her this time."

"The only reason you lost last time was she had the element of surprise."

"Hardly. The only reason I'm still alive is the naga skin armor Sofia gave to me. I'm not a fighter. All I have is this knife." He pulled out the dagger. "It cuts through everything, but the damn thing is too short. What good is that? I have to get close enough to use it first. Or what about magic? I can't do magic, not the things you can do. Yeah, I get magic boners that let me last in bed for hours. Super useful. Oh, and limited precognition. I get to sense the future briefly before it smashes me into a bug. A lot of good that did me when I met Yuki. Oh, I know!" His voice had risen now, and he was shouting. "Why don't I just give her some orgasms with my sex lightning? That's right, I'm calling it sex lightning! I bet she'll show me a heap of respect when I show her that trick. Oh, Mike, I'm so sorry I tried to kill you, if only I had known you would rock my world like never before!"

Ratu cleared her throat, giving him a hard stare. "Are you finished?"

"No, I'm not! I feel helpless here. I thought I had things under control until the rats came. And yes, we worked that out, but it was Beth and Tink who did all the work. I feel like I'm just standing back and watching everyone else do everything. Hell, I only got this dagger because the witch who had it got eaten by a plant."

"I see. You are defining your value now based on your ability to fight." Ratu shook her head. "What makes a legend, Mike Radley?"

"What?"

"You heard me. What makes a legend?"

He rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know, legendary deeds?"

"What makes a deed legendary?"

He shrugged. "Something big and grand. David killed Goliath with a sling. Or that guy who killed Medusa for her head and fought a kraken. Or, um, King Arthur and Excalibur? I guess I'm not sure what he did."

Ratu laughed. "In your mind, legends are created when someone stands up to defy the odds, the little guy versus an impossible situation. But here's a secret for you. Legends are primarily made by only one thing: a good storyteller. I could argue that you have already completed legendary deeds. The defeat of Baba Yaga is no small feat, or what about those witches we scoured off your lawn? Or even better, how you were able to rally a household of monsters to do your bidding through kindness alone?"

"Those aren't legendary, those are just... normal days for me."

"I think you're experiencing a crisis of identity. You're the Caretaker, but none of us truly knows what that means. The house chose you for the position. Were you a fighter before?"

"I... no."

"How about a wizard, or a mage, or even a decent stage magician?"

"...no."

"You see? So either the house wants you to remain true to yourself or it will mold you into the role. What would you say you were before you moved in? Think hard about it."

He furrowed his brow. What was he? A shut-in? He didn't even want to deal with the home. He bounced from girlfriend to girlfriend, feared physical and intimate contact. Had regular nightmares about his mother tormenting him. Up until a couple years ago, his therapist had been the person he spoke with the most.

"I was a victim."

"Being a victim is a state of being, not an identity. You can be the victim of a crime, but it only defines you if you let it. Try again."

"But that's what I was. My mom screwed me up as a kid, and being a victim meant I bounced from place to place. That's why I chose a job that meant I didn't have to work directly with people and I kept to myself. I spent years in therapy just so I could have a normal conversation with a woman without flinching."

"Sounds like a lot of hard work for someone who still thinks they were a victim."

"Well, I wasn't a victim anymore. I was a..." the word finally came to him. "I'm a survivor. I'm cautious, but quick on my feet. I don't like trouble, so try to avoid it."

"Interesting. Seems like being a survivor has served you well so far. So maybe you should worry less about how others see you and just worry about being yourself. Find a way for us to survive."

"Yeah, well I'm tired of getting knocked around. The centaurs were just another example of that. And that douche out there hasn't helped things. I know he wants me to come out and fight him, but I can't fight a centaur."

Ratu picked up the book she had put down. "I wonder. If it meant saving me, would you go down and fight him?"

"Of course I would. I'd piss myself the whole time going down there, though."

"Interesting. For someone who hates being so weak, you certainly are willing to throw yourself at an impossible problem. If it meant killing Orion to save my life, would you do it? Would you stab him with that tiny dagger of yours? Don't answer, but think about it. Would you take another life if it meant saving one you cherished?" She opened her robes and laid back, using the thick journal as a pillow. A beam of light he hadn't noticed slowly crawled over her seat, and she let out a sigh of contentment. "Ah, that feels good. Think I'll take a little nap, if you don't mind."

He frowned. It was the same question that weighed on his mind constantly these days. There was only one way to know the answer, and he didn't think he was ready to find out for sure.

Daisy appeared near the stairs, signing the word come. They had used the slate to learn a few basic words from her, and so Mike followed, leaving Ratu behind to bask in the sunlight.

Down the stairs he went, the smell of breakfast hitting his nostrils and making him salivate. Last night's meal had been a perfectly good stew, but he was ravenous once more. Zel moved around her makeshift kitchen, carefully navigating the narrow aisle between tables.

"I found some grains this morning," she said, putting a large loaf of bread on the table.

Mike drooled over the delicious looking fruit salad in the middle of the table, sitting down and stuffing his face with the juicy berries Zel had picked earlier that morning. His conversation with Ratu wasn't forgotten, but he simply couldn't resist such delicious looking food.

In the distance, he heard the loud trumpet of the centaurs and rolled his eyes. "Sounds like they're still at it."

"Yeah. Orion was bitching all morning while I picked fruit. I imagine he would kill you on sight given half the chance."

"There weren't any arrows or spears in the garden, were there?"

"No. The barrier Ratu made is still holding." She let out a sigh. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I went for a walk in the back. At least a few of the centaurs there have been missing for a decade or more, and more than a couple are kin. It was tough seeing someone you knew so many years later, frozen in time."

"I wonder if it could be reversed?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, but that doesn't mean the harm isn't already done. These are people who have families that have moved on without them. It's hard to imagine exactly how these people will simply return to the tribe without disruption. But that wasn't all."

"Oh?" His mouth was full of the best blackberries he had ever eaten.

"My aunt was out there." Zel's lips formed a grim line. "When it was discovered that she helped me escape, they sent her into exile. It's very rare for the tribe to flat out execute one of their own. It's also very hard to be an exiled centaur. Your only choice is to climb the mountain and avoid the valley, because you will be attacked on sight. So I kept looking. Not all of the statues are bold centaur warriors who thought to challenge the Snow Queen, but also people who were exiled. More than a couple were centaurs who simply went missing, and I wonder if they ran across Yuki on accident."

"I guess... wow, I don't know what to say."

"These aren't all people who came to kill her. Some of them are people who got lost and maybe came here to beg for help, I can't say. Even if we could release the spell, then what? The warriors would be welcomed back into the tribe, but what about the others?"

"What about them? If they can't stay here, why not move into the greenhouse? You survived there for years on your own, though it sounds like they'll have to go vegan."

Zel twisted her upper half to look back at him. "Really? You would just invite them to come stay with you?"

"I guess. The greenhouse is huge and underutilized as it is. Well, I say this on the assumption that the exiled aren't huge assholes or anything. But yeah, it's my greenhouse, so I don't see what the big deal is."

"What about the others?"

"We can talk to them when we get the chance, but I doubt they will voice any complaints. You could start your own tribe or something."

"Hmm." Zel turned away, her eyes on something distant. She said nothing else while he ate, so he spent his time watching Daisy pluck the tiny spheres off of a blackberry and eat them. She was definitely smaller than the other fairies, and her antennae were thick and black. Dark gobs of blackberry covered her mouth, and she gave Mike a large smile.

"Why did you help us? he asked her, suddenly curious.

She signed a couple of things, then frowned when she realized he couldn't keep up. The slate was nearby, so she pointed at it and the letters from their last conversation rearranged themselves.

"You helped me."

"Well, yeah, but I figured you worked for Yuki. We're kind of at odds here, and will probably fight next time we see each other."

Daisy pondered her response for second. The slate could only hold so many words at a time, which had made their conversations last night a little challenging.

"You helped even though dangerous. Like Emily."

"Yeah, but Yuki hates Emily."

"Emily not always bad. Something happened."

"Clearly. I feel like the last few days have been nothing but a reminder that she fucked everything up. Do you have any idea what happened?"

Daisy shook her head, then pointed at the board. "Fine one day, broken the next."

"Great, like a magical stroke or something."

Daisy nodded solemnly, then stuffed another berry in her mouth. He was about to ask her something else when the tower shook, a low rumble that caused the cutlery to vibrate on the table. Daisy's eyes opened wide and she looked up at the ceiling.

"What the hell was that?" he asked. Somewhere in the tower, a bell rang ominously.

"DANGER!" The slate announced. Daisy dropped her berry and shot up the stairs. Wiping his face, he made sure his dagger was still with him before following, the slate clutched tightly in his hands.

---

A cool jet of air caught the side of Beth's face, blasting her hair away from her forehead. Turning toward the breeze, she looked through a hole about a foot across. The hole led to a rundown room with a busted window, and outside the window was a frosted, barren landscape. Around her shoulder, she wore a small bag she had found in Ratu's pagoda that was just big enough for Jenny to fit in. The doll had been motionless all night long, so Beth had taken it upon herself to carry her around.

By the sides of the hole, two rats waited for Tink to come running up and shove her head inside. Beth wasn't certain how her tracking skill worked, but after only a few seconds, Tink yanked her head out.

"No husband," she told them. "Close hole please."

The rats got to work chewing on the hole in reverse. It was an interesting process to watch. The rats would chomp down on the stone wall they were working on, then drag their teeth into the opening. At first it looked like the material was stretching, but in reality, it was being restored as if it came back from an alternate dimension where it had been stored.