tagHumor & SatireHorny Halloween

Horny Halloween

bylaabaa©

At this time of year we often lose sight of what is really important, BONING. I’d love your feedback and look forward to hearing from you all. Don’t forget to vote.< />

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A few months ago I met this girl or I should say I saw this girl. She was gorgeous in every way imaginable. From her porcelain skin to her cherry red lips (top and bottom sets), she was stunning. I had seen her over and over again on the same stretch of road, where I drove to work. She would always be walking towards me carrying a basket with something inside. Being the middle of summer she usually wore a short summer dress, and it would drive me to distraction. I’d see her when I was driving back with the top down, the top of my car that is. Who was this girl? She would usually smile and give me a second glance but I stood no chance with her. She must have been in her early twenties, with the wild youth still showing in the way she walked. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, she’d be in there all day long. I’d picture her running her hands up her slender body with the beads of sweat dripping on her tight and toned body. Then came the autumn.

I am a winter man, as I have hayfever. I gather not everyone is familiar with my particular ailment so let me expand. During the summer months my eyes become swollen, my nose runs like a tap and I feel like shit. That is what summer does to me, I think I go the whole season without getting an erection. I am otherwise preoccupied. Even thinking about THAT blonde wouldn’t do the trick. Then as the days get shorter and the nights get longer I come alive. I’m like a coiled Cobra waiting to strike. Young dumb and full of Cum. Guess what, blondie then disappeared, just like that. I had finally managed to pluck up enough courage to ask her out, and she was gone. My friends tried to help me get over her but it was no use. She was deep inside somehow and I knew the rest of the year would be a pain.

Joanne was a pretty receptionist at the company where I worked. All the guys in the offices wanted to screw her brains out but never got the chance. She was a half Latino girl with long black hair. She had a body to die for, and she was my best friend. You know what it’s like guys when you have a friend like that. She comes round and wants to talk, and you pretend to listen. All the time you imagine what it would be like to stick you cock between those thighs. Once Joanne came round and it was so late I asked her to sleep over. Big mistake. I slept on the sofa of my apartment whilst she lay on the bed in the next room. I couldn’t think about anything else but going in there and licking her face. I didn’t get any sleep that night, it’s like they you can sleep with a light on, but never with a hard on.

So Joanne comes around and asks me what she thinks we could do next week. With my mind all over the place, I had forgotten everything. It was Halloween. Usually by this time I had broken my duck and managed to get some, but this year was a nightmare. I found myself permanently horny and consistently alone, not a good combination. I had not had sex for over six month, SIX DAMN MONTHS! I was ready to explode and found even the smallest thing unbelievably horny. I remember watching an episode of ‘The Simpsons’ and finding Marge particularly alluring, hell even her sisters were doing it for me. Joanne said she was going to come around with a couple of friends and costumes for next week, and we were going to a party. She insisted, and so I waited for seven days. I can honestly way the only time my prick wavered was when I went to the toilet. It hurts when you try and pee with a stiffy.

The day of Halloween went by uneventfully enough. Some guy jumped out of the stationary cupboard and scared the pretty blonde from accounts with a Scream mask. She was scared but soon changed her mind when he began to stab her fleshy mound with his pink dagger. I think every one gets a bit randy at this time of year, my neighbours were going at it when I woke up, and were still screwing when I got back from work. The wife came over to apologise later and I realised why her husband couldn’t keep his hands off her. She was in her mid-thirties and dressed in a witch’s outfit. Her slender body and huge tits got me going straight away and it was hard to look her in the face with her creamy white breast almost hanging out of the low cut black top. She knew I was turned on and slowly put her hand on my crotch. We were standing in the hallway with her hand in my trousers and mine beginning to roam her beautiful cleavage. I noticed she had her broom with her so with one and I took it, and began to lift up her dress. Her shaved pussy glistened in the light and I teased her with the wood. Her hand began to jerk me off rapidly. I dropped the broom and put my hand down there, with two finger licked I pushed for home. Just the Joanne called and said she was coming over. As I turned back the wife had gone. A few minutes later her husband was fucking her hard, I could hear the lucky bastard.

Dick hard (hey that sounds like a movie title starring Bruised willies and SeeGory Beaver), I waited for Joanne. She really did have a body to die for, often would be the day that I would be sat in front of the computer pretending to work, but really I was imagining that toned, hard body up against mine. I was on the verge of yanking my shaft, when I heard someone at the door. I opened the door and almost came there and then when I saw what was before me. Joanne had a black, latex outfit on, I swear I could see the shape of her cunt through it. She had decided to bring her nineteen-year-old blonde sister along, and she was in a slutty cheerleader outfit. Her sister was famed locally as being a virgin who could turn you on from a mile away. I looked at the sexy brunette and she gave me a wry smile. ‘Happy Halloween!’

Yep that is all you’re getting for now. If I win, I’ll give you more, or if you ask me really, really nicely.

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