How Getting Fired Has Changed Me Ch. 02

The second situation was an ultimatum that Judy offered me only last week. She was snuggled in bed after masturbating to my ridiculous mantra, which she now has me do in my burger boy hat.

When I snuggled next to her naked body, my cock dribbling pre-cum from edging for so long, she took my cock in her hand and squeezed it tightly.

"You can cum......but only if you do a couple of little things for me!"

I was so desperate I agreed instantly.

"I want you to write up how the last couple of months have been and publish it next to your other perverted little story and......."

Judy began jerking her tight grip up and down my hard shaft.

".....I want you to beg me to send your first story to Matt!"

Judy removed her hand as if to demonstrate the denial I would feel if I refused.

Again I teetered between this being a game or something real for Judy. Writing up how I felt gave her the power of knowing how I felt, whilst her motives were still revealed.

In the end I decided it was something she obviously wanted and relying on the fidelity of my wife I did it.

"Please send my story to Matt...please send my story to Matt..." I repeated over and over until Judy, threw back the covers and grabbing my cock again, wanked it furiously for a few seconds and then just let go.

My cock twitched and bobbed in the air and my cum dribbled out in a frustratingly unsatisfying orgasm that left me practically as aroused as I had been.

"Night-night sweetie." Judy said, rolling over and turning out the light.

And that is basically it; the reason for the second story and how getting fired is still changing me and my marriage.

Six months ago I would never have fantasized about having a marriage like I currently do and would have probably considered someone in my position in serious need of 'manning up'.

But I am truly not in a position to feel equal to anyone, not my beautiful wife and certainly not Matt Monroe, the instigator of all that has followed.

I adore my beautiful wife Judy more than ever and I am forever lost in her charms and her mysteries as she plays this game, that I hope is only a game.

It is truly weird, intimidating and strangely subjugating to have photographs of the man I hate the most grinning at me from every direction of our bedroom as my wife orgasms to my humiliation at his hands. It makes it feel like he is somehow intimately part of our sex life, that he shares Judy's orgasms.

Lying awake and frustrated as my beautiful wife lies sleeping with Matt's conceited grin mocking my situation and my life can feel so intense and real that I want to cry.

The video conference put me face to face with him, only for my wife to have me mocked by him like it was the most natural thing in the world.

The image of Judy dismissing me with such a casual flick of her wrist as Matt watched haunts me and arouses me for reasons I don't understand and which fill me with shame.

I dare not raise the subject with my wife, for she does not wish it, and so I just play along like an obedient sap.

Judy just last night after I had licked her to orgasm and left me aroused and denied, said;

"What a fucking cuckold loser. So spineless, wimpy and degraded."

I stared at Judy in disbelief; she had never spoken to me like that. She let me stare at her inscrutable cute smile a while and then said;

"Not my words, sweetie. Just what people who read your story think of you."

And then reaching for her bedside photograph of Matt;

"Kissy, kissy Matty!"

I obediently kissed the offered photograph and lay awake full of adoration for my beautiful wife and realized that if nothing else, Judy is enjoying having me publish my own humiliation.

I've checked; someone did leave a comment calling me that.

I have no idea if she intends to really send my story to Matt. The idea scares me a lot, despite me fantasizing about it a few months ago.

I am left after writing this, somewhat conflicted. My fantasy had not occurred prior to my getting fired and now my wife is exploiting my fantasy. It feels as though the fantasy belongs to someone-else and that once I get my life back on track I will be the healthy man I was.

But in the meantime, as I suffer the indignity of my teenage bitch of a boss degrading me, feel the inadequacies of failing to provide for my beautiful wife, having fantasies that no wife could possibly respect, having fits of raging jealousy out of my own insecurities and then bouts of self-loathing afterwards, it feels as though events are overtaking me.

I do not feel equal to my wife anymore. I feel like a disgusting pet with perverted thoughts and that any generosity she shows me is undeserved.

I love her with all my heart and long to tell her that my fantasy and my current situation are only temporary, that I can and will be the healthy man I was, the husband worthy of her.

I don't know what Judy makes of my fantasy and the game she has played since reading it have left me confused, frustrated and ashamedly aroused.

I do not want to be aroused by being humiliated in front of the man who fired me, so why does that happen?

The fact remains that I have masturbated over Judy's dismissal of me by a casual flick of her wrist as she and Matt laughed. It makes me ashamed of what I have become.

I want to explain all of this to Judy, but all I get is that painted nail pushed to my lips with a patronizing "Shh".

And then I realized that Judy in her generosity has granted me this opportunity to tell her all of this and I am grateful for such an opportunity.

But I also realized that this allows Judy to keep her hand hidden as I expose mine and I am in awe of her manipulation of this situation.

My Judy, who until six months ago, would never have acted this way.

I cherish her and love her with all my heart and pray that I may not lose her.