How High a Price

She looked at me than Dr. Russell and then back at me before saying yes.

We spent the next two Wednesdays talking about guidelines, limits and boundaries. I didn't know moving back in together would be so hard. We all agreed that it couldn't happen in our existing house because of what had taken place there, so we went house hunting.

The one we found was smaller, not as new but near a school for Lisa. It was vacant and with a little paint it would work out just fine. We priced our house right so it sold quickly in just two weeks. Thank God our payments were going to be about the same because we needed a lot on new furniture especially beds. Our parents together gave us a new bedroom set for a house-warming gift and we picked up just a cheap bed and dresser for the tiny spare room. We found a good second hand couch and chair. By the end of the week we were about ready.

Dr. Russell cautioned us over and over again about every facet telling us not to have lofty expectations and to take it a day at a time; and he was more right than we thought.

The first night was like throwing two total strangers and a child into a place and telling them to act normal. What was normal anymore? Our eyes never left one another as we played the roles of a happy family without a script. Each of us were going out of their way to make sure what we said or did was right and when something went wrong we each waited for the explosion.

We slept together, but didn't sleep. We both waited for exhaustion to take charge of our bodies and force us to sleep. There was hand holding, guarded touching but little else. Maybe Dr. Russell was right, maybe it was too soon.

"Steve, I've got to go to the store do you need anything?"

"No, Lisa and I are going to attempt to straighten out the basement."

"I'll be back in about twenty five minutes," she said as she headed out.

An hour and a half later a frantic and crying Sandy raced into the house.

"There was an accident and I didn't have my phone. I tried to get someone to give me their phone so I could call you but I guess I was a little wild and people were moving away from me," she said as she babbled on for another ten minutes before I stopped her.

"It's ok, relax."

"I said twenty minutes and when I didn't get back I didn't want you to think I was doing something I shouldn't or with someone," she said openly crying grabbing for me. "I'm so sorry," she cried with her head buried in my shoulder holding me so tight I thought the blood would stop flowing to my brain. We stayed that way for the better part of a half hour.

I said nothing; I just held her and I think that was what she really needed. Her eyes were red, the little makeup she'd had on was long gone and the front of her shirt and my shoulder were soaked from her tears.

"I didn't want you to wonder what I was doing," she sniffled. "I want you to be able to trust me again," she said wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

"To tell you the honest to God truth, I didn't even know how long you were gone. Lisa and I got busy and forgot about the time ourselves. If it wasn't for you stomping in, we never would have known you weren't here."

"I'm so sorry."

"Stop, stop it right there, enough of the sorries. I know you're sorry and I don't need to hear it every time anything goes wrong. If we have any chance of making it, we're going to have to stop walking on eggshells around one another. If something happens, I'm not going to throw my hands up, go storming out of the house and leave you and Lisa. If that were the case I'd been gone months ago. We both need to rebuild our trust in one another. I'm not saying it's going to be easy and sure as hell isn't going to happen over night, but we both need to work on it. Ok?" A sniffle and nod yes is what I got.

We had a BBQ on the patio. Nothing elaborate, but tasty nonetheless. By eight o'clock Lisa was dead asleep and I was finishing up outside. I was exhausted; it had been quite a day. Sandy was wiping off the counters and had just started the dishwasher as I came in.

"Why don't we call it a night?" I said walking up to her and taking her hand; there was still electricity in her touch.

Sandy wasn't the wide-eyed wild child I'd fallen in love with and married. She was now a lot more reserved; more laid back and a lot more cautious. Her hair was shorter, she'd put back on the weight she'd lost but her eyes still sparkled when they met mine. When we had initially gotten back together her eyes were sunken in and there wasn't much life in them. She was like a caged cat reacting to any and everything around her. Gradually, she started coming back down. Finally, anxiety gave way to confidence and sadness turned into tenderness.

The first few nights in bed awkward at best. When we would brush up against one another it was like being stuck with a white-hot poker. Neither one of us knew how to proceed or what to expect. It wasn't until about seven days later, when we woke up in each other's arms that we moved forward. The bruises and scars were gone but she still hit her nakedness from me preferring to dress and undress in the bathroom. It wasn't until I joined her in the shower that we took the next step.

I picked the locked bathroom door, undressed quietly and slipped into the back of the shower. I had wanted to surprise her but I guess I wasn't as quiet as I thought I was.

"Well Mr. Moore, where did you learn to pick a lock like that? Should I be worried that this is going to be a common place occurrence?"

"You can bet on that," I said pulling her to me kissing her softly at first before she almost swallowed my lips and tongue. I wanted to try it in the shower but she had other ideas. Shutting off the water she dragged me to our bed, still dripping wet, and literally took me body and soul.

We screwed the first time, which lasted all of two minutes. Hell, I'd lasted twice that long even my very first time but after not doing in for months we were more than a little ready.

The second time was a lot slower and more methodical. I ate her until she climaxed twice while she nearly sucked off the head of my dick as I fingered her to another. Nothing had changed; it still fit like a velvet glove. I didn't pound her ass from behind while she cried out for me to fuck her harder. We just did it with me on top with her legs wrapped tightly around me. I held both of her hands and kissed her as we met each other's strokes. I didn't hear her but felt her climax that final time, both of us looking into each other's eyes. I rolled over, pulled her in close and we never moved for the rest of the night.

Tonight though it was different. She'd had her first anxiety attack in a long time and just need a little reassurance that it was all right. I waited for her in bed; she came to me dressed in a Winnie The Poo oversized tee shirt. She slipped into the bed and kissed me. I could taste the toothpaste and mouth wash along with the sweet night cream she always put on her face.

She didn't say a word, just moved in close to me. She put her back against my chest, wrapped my arm around her and pushed her butt into my crotch. We lay that way until my arm fell asleep.

It's been almost five months since we moved back in with one other. It seems to be working but we're still in the honeymoon stage and are still avoiding a lot of the issues we need to address. We see Dr. Russell every other week and we still have some heated arguments and the tears still flow. Lisa is in school and Sandy is working part time in a framing shop up the street. She probably calls me way too much, but I guess I'd rather have that than the opposite.

I guess the big question is whether I think we're going to make it; the jury's still out on that one. Most of the time I'd say yes, but every once in a while my brain takes me back and makes me look at the images I want to forget or at least keep buried deep down inside. She's not a hundred percent cured and neither am I. So we take it day by day and try to grow-up a little at a time.

Connie and her husband didn't make it but she assures me that we have something she and her ex didn't, two totally committed people working at a marriage instead of just one.