How I Became a Cad

"I wonder the same thing sometimes," I said. Marie laughed.

"Finally, I've never fucked an employee, and I've never fucked anyone in the office." She shuddered. "I might break one of those rules for you, but I'm not about to break both." Now, I laughed.

"We'll talk about this more later. We're coming up on our first customer." She didn't need to tell me to be on my best behavior. She'd just made it clear that I was still being interviewed for the position as her lover.

Marie was all business the rest of the day.

We spent the day driving around the edges of the airport, calling on a variety of small shipping offices in warehouses and even crappier office parks than ours. Marie carried herself with the dignity and style of Princess Diana visiting crippled orphans on their deathbeds. In every office, no matter how small or chaotic, Marie made the customer the center of her attention.

It made me jealous, and a little apprehensive, to see her work these men. There was nothing sexual about it, but every one of them clearly felt that he was Marie's special friend.

"I hope this isn't too dull for you," she said as she drove me to my apartment.

"It beats the hell out of working for Barb," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, about that. I may have given you the wrong impression the other day," she said. "Barbara's a pain in the ass, but she's also my best friend." Oh, shit.

"She has an MBA from Wharton, and last year, I hired her away from KPMG." I had no idea what that meant. But it sounded impressive and tiresome.

"Barbara saved Fletcher Freight. A couple of years ago, we lost a major account and almost went bankrupt. She cut expenses to the bone. She laid off 75 people, but she saved the jobs of 38. We're stable now thanks to her."

I didn't say anything. My face was burning.

"I won't have you disrespecting her. Is that clear?"

"Understood."

Had I fucked everything up?

We pulled up in front of my apartment building. There was an awkward moment when she stopped the car and I realized I had no idea whether expected me to kiss her or just get the hell out of her car. She reached over and grabbed my left hand.

"You did good today," she said. She pulled my hand to her face and kissed the palm. She bit the fleshy part of my thumb. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Marie."

"Good night, Jay. Sweet dreams."

FRIDAY

I have no memory of what happened between when my alarm clock went off at 7:30 and when I found myself standing in front of Marie's closed door at 1:25, wondering if I should knock, or wait the eternity until 1:30.

At that moment, the door opened. A tall, square man of about fifty came out of her office. He was wearing a suit that was both exquisite and forgettable. I recognized him from my obsessive Googling. It was Marie's husband, Paul.

Paul looked for a second like he was going to tell me to fetch his car, or maybe he was going to punch me in the nose. Then he turned without speaking and made for the elevator. The whole encounter lasted a few seconds, but it happened in slow motion.

As Paul stormed out, he passed Marie's tailor, who'd emerged from the elevators carrying a garment bag.

"You're early, Jay," I was relieved to see that she seemed glad to see me. She grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into her office. The tailor followed us. He unzipped the garment bag.

"Strip," Marie said.

The suit fit like a fucking miracle and looked amazing. Marie had indeed memorized my measurements while she was feeling me up. The tailor inspected his work and saw that it was good.

"I'm sorry about that. I wasn't expecting Paul to show up this afternoon. Believe me, that was a lot more awkward for me than it was for you." It didn't make it any less awkward to have this conversation in front of the tailor.

"Our arrangement is strictly don't ask, don't tell. I violated the protocol by letting you two meet." Now, my bullshit detector was pegged. I'd been at my desk for the last hour copying porn onto a hard drive I'd found. She could have called and asked me to stand down if her husband were in the building. I didn't say anything, but she could tell instantly that her story wasn't flying.

She waited till the tailor had finished and left.

"I did violate the protocol," she said, looking guilty as she leaned on edge of the desk. "It's something neither of us have done before. But it wasn't an accident. I can't stop thinking about you. I've been obsessed with the idea of you and Paul seeing each other."

"It was an awful thing to do. Please forgive me. I hope you'll still come to the party. Paul's headed to the airport, so there's no chance he'll be there."

My breathing was calm and my vision had become focused. Time slowed. Meeting Paul had raised the stakes from a simple office cock tease to something more primitive. He and I both knew in the moment we met that I was going to fuck his wife. He may have been able to compartmentalize his love life and his relationship with Marie. But he'd just been confronted the reality of my existence. All the remained was for me to fulfill my role by fucking Marie.

I walked over to her. I reached up and held her face in my hand and kissed her hard on the mouth. I could feel her resistance melting. I wanted to fuck her right there. I pushed her back on to the desk. She stiffened. "Not now. And definitely not here."

I stopped, but didn't get off her right away. I considered my options. I turned and left her office as quickly as I could with my new suit and what remained of my dignity.

When I got back to my desk, Barb was waiting for me in my cube. She look bemused. "I saw Paul leave," she said. "He didn't look happy. I warned you about Marie. She's a piece of work. I've known her for ten years, but I've never seen her as obsessed with a man as she is with you."

Then, she stood up. "Can I buy you a drink?"

***

Barb took me to a bar wedged between an auto shop and a porn store, around the corner from my apartment. It was sunny outside, but inside the bar was dark and smelled of spilled beer. There were only a couple of drunks at the bar. We took a booth in the corner.

While we had our first round, Barb opened up a little.

"Jay, I'm sorry I've been so shitty to you. I'm completely overwhelmed with getting the company back on its feet and I really don't have time to give you the attention you need."

Now I felt guilty. "Sorry," I said. "I had no idea."

After the second round, I told Barb what Marie had told me about her. She slumped in her chair.

"Marie hired me to be the bad cop. Her people would follow her off a cliff. And they very nearly did. The layoff was the most traumatic event of my career, and I fucked it up. I'd planned my vacation six months in advance, and decided we had to lay off all those people a few weeks before I had to leave. I was so drained that I took the vacation anyway. That was a huge mistake."

After the third round, we had both loosened up.

"And then there's this...thing...that's going on between you and Marie. She has never had a relationship with an employee before. And it's already becoming a mess. You both seem to be twisted into knots."

"I don't think there's much I can tell you about that without violating Marie's confidence," I said. The truth was I wasn't talking because the whole story made me look like a pussy. I could still feel Marie pinned beneath me, against the desk. I wished I'd just fucked her when I had the chance. We'd be asleep on that Persian rug in her office right now.

"If it makes you feel any better, Paul's a creep. I have no idea why she married that contemptible shit-heel," she said. "He insisted on the open marriage."

"If I've learned anything from reading 19th century novels in college, it's that new money covets the respect of old money, and that the only people who marry into the aristocracy are beautiful women."

"That's pretty cold, Jay," Barb said.

"Am I wrong?"

"I know Maries carries herself like a sexpot, but no one is more romantic. She's never wrong about people. If she wants you, that's good enough for me. But I've never seen her so vulnerable."

As we left the bar, Barb turned to me and said, "I'll see you at the party. Try and get some rest. You'll need it." She gave me a hug.

***

I spent the rest of the afternoon and a good part of the evening in that sweltering apartment, trying to decide how to handle myself. At some point, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to plan this out. I didn't know how I felt about Marie. I had no idea what she wanted from me. I decided to just go and find out what this all had been leading toward. Whatever it was would be better than this.

I arrived at Marie's at 10. Her house was larger than my apartment building. Some of the partygoers were beginning to trickle out as I arrived.

As I walked in the door, Marie homed in on me. "I'm so glad you're here," she said. "I was getting worried." She looked amazing. She was wearing a white silk dress. The skirt was flowing and unusually modest for her, reaching the middle of her knees. But the bodice hugged her like a second skin and displayed her splendid decolletage. It fit like a corset, but without the boning. It held together through the synergy of clever engineering, fine workmanship, and Marie's remarkable body. I completely forgot why I was feeling ambivalent about her.

Marie leaned over the whispered in my ear, "My God, you look fantastic in that suit. I want you to mingle, darling. I can't bear to stand next to you without climbing all over you. Meet me in the master bedroom at 11:15. It's the double doors at the top of the stairs." Then, she moved to a nearby knot of employees and proceeded to charm them.

I looked around for the only other person I knew at the party. Barb was sitting by herself near the French doors.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself. Nice suit," she said. "You're blushing. That's sweet."

"Fuck you, Barb," I said with a smile. "How's the party?"

"These people adore Marie. This is just what they needed. You won't be surprised to hear they hate my guts." No wonder she was sitting alone. "Marie's my only friend at this thing, but I told her she wouldn't be doing herself any favors hanging out with me."

This was the first time I'd seen Barb in a dress, and done up proper. She was gorgeous.

"You look great," I told her. "If I wasn't hoping to fuck your best friend..." I trailed off. Barb scowled. I'd probably crossed about six hard lines with that remark. "Sorry. I'm a little disoriented right now."

I was lost in conversation with Barb when I heard the clock strike eleven. I looked up and realized that the party was nearly over. Marie said her last goodbyes and walked up the stairs as the stragglers made their way to the door.

I waited until 11:15. When the clock chimed, Barb rose and gave me a peck on the cheek. "Take care of yourself," She said. "And take care of Marie." As she walked out the front door, I sighed and squared my shoulders.

***

I knocked on the double doors. There was no answer, so I pushed them open.

Marie stood on the balcony, facing away from me. Her white dress was bathed in moonlight. She looked perfect. I realized she had planned days ago for me to find her exactly like this.

I closed the door and walked across the room. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and squeezed her tight. I kissed the back of her neck. I bit her slightly and sucked her salty flesh. Marie moaned and I could feel her sink into my arms. I could also feel her push her ass against my hard cock, bending over just a little.

I continued to kiss her neck and tightened my arms around her waist. I slid my hands up and cupped her breasts. Marie took in her breath. "Please undo me," she said.

I found the hooks at the back of her dress and undid them unsteadily. Then, I slowly unzipped the dress. I was surprised to find that she was completely naked underneath. I slid my hands down to her hips and caressed her bottom. The dress dropped to the ground, and Marie turned to face me.

She stepped back onto the balcony, standing nude before me in the moonlight. She was like a classical sculpture, curvy and sensuous. Her breasts hung there, inviting me. But I was frozen, admiring her from a distance. I was thunderstruck that this remarkable woman had chosen me and was now standing there offering herself to me.

I reached out my hand, grabbed the back of her neck, and pulled her toward me. She closed her eyes and her lips parted. I kissed her. She teased my lips with her tongue until I opened my mouth a little. The kiss lasted for minutes and the world spun around us. I was feeling faint.

Marie opened her eyes and slid down my body to her knees. I could feel her mouth sucking and biting at my hard cock through my trousers. Realizing she was waiting for me, I reached down, unzipped my fly and pulled out my erect cock. She covered it in kisses, and slowly took it into her mouth. I was certain I was going to collapse.

I took her hand, and helped her up. I walked her by the hand to the bed. She slowly began to undress me, carefully folding each item and draping it over a nearby chair. Now I was naked before her. We looked at each other, standing there, the culmination of what seemed like months of anguish squeezed into a handful of days.

"I need you, Jay," she said

Then she pushed me on to the bed and climbed on top of me. Her skin was warm, and soft as I traced the curves of her body. I took her breasts into my mouth, licked them gently, sucked them hard, and finally nipped them with my teeth. She begged me not to stop.

She lowered herself onto my erection and I could feel her moans before I heard them. She arched her back, putting her hands on my chest, so I could see her full on top of me in the moonlight. She was magnificent. Her breasts heaved as she rode my cock. I held on tight to her hips. She thrashed and screamed as she came. She bowed her head, so her hair spilled into my face.

"Don't come yet, darling," she said. "I'm not nearly finished with you." Marie lifted herself off my cock and slid up my chest, her wet cunt just above my face. I could see her wetness glistening on the hair of her bush. I stuck out my tongue, hoping to catch a few drops, but she was just out of reach.

"Please eat me," she moaned, and slowly lowered her cunt onto my face. I hungrily lapped at her lips, and felt her hips buck and writhe. She smashed her cunt into my hungry mouth and fucked my face harder than she'd fucked my cock. I could barely breathe, but I was so focused on the intensity of the moment and the intimacy of the act, that I scarcely noticed. I caressed her big, round ass while she pushed herself even harder onto my waiting tongue. She came in my face.

I gasped for breath as she pulled back and looked down on me. Sweat dripped off her face and tits onto me. She bit her lip and smiled at me. She shifted her weight slightly. I knew immediately what she wanted, and rolled her over in one quick motion. I climbed on top of her, kneeled between her thighs, and looked down into her wide-open eyes.

I continued looking into her eyes as I fucked her hard. She never broke eye contact. As I came, I could feel myself falling into her gaze. I'll remember that moment on my deathbed.

SEPTEMBER

Marie and I spent every hour together that summer. Marie decided to take her first real vacation in ten years. I gave up the fiction that my summer job mattered. She showed me the world.

With Marie temporarily out of the office, and the company profitable for the first time in years, employee morale improved. Barb began to earn the respect she deserved from the team. I have no idea how Paul spent his summer.

I learned so much that summer. About how to treat a woman, how to buy clothes, how belong in parties to which I hadn't been invited, how to listen to classical music, how to tip a bellman, how to fake picking wine, and how not to give a fuck which fork was which. At the end of the summer I had a whole new wardrobe, and a worldly new persona. Marie took very good care of me.

But it would never be the same as that first night. No matter where we went, it was impossible to avoid the impression we made: a wealthy middle-aged woman and her college-boy lover. And, although she loved me deeply, we both were painfully aware that our lives were diverging already.

Over Labor Day weekend, in a house Marie had rented on Cape Cod, I told her I was thinking about dropping out of college.

"That would be a mistake," she said.

"Why? I've learned more from you than I'll ever learn in school. Aren't you going to miss me?"

"Darling, I'm going to miss you the rest of my life," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"I love you. But this is killing me and we both know there's nothing to be done about it," she said. "And I'm starting to realize that you're kind of an asshole." She got up and left the house. I waited there for two days and nights, but I never heard from her again.

*****