How I Discovered my Exhibitionism

I loved dressing up for different occasions. Tom and I used to go out to dinner every Saturday evening before we got married. That tradition went on for a few years after we married, but it was almost non-existent after he moved to Suzhou. Now we usually went out with friends or family, seldom just the two of us.

"You really made my day! I have to go to work now. We'll talk again tonight. I'll leave the balcony light on when I'm available . . . bye." He hung up.

I was puzzled and motionless for a brief period - then I remembered he could still see me from his apartment. I went back to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. My face was red. My heart was beating really fast. I was obviously turned on by what had just happened. My mind started wandering off - I kept asking myself questions like:

Why did I do that?

What if someone saw me?

What if Tom found out about it? . . . or Wei's wife!

. . . What if Wei wanted to meet me again? I didn't think I could face him now.

After all these crazy thoughts, I went on with my usual routine: swimming, lunch, TV, etc. I couldn't get my mind off what we did in the morning. I eventually fell asleep on the couch while watching TV.

"Ring, ring, ring ...." The apartment was dark. The only light was from the TV. I saw the call display. It was Tom and the clock was showing 7:15 p.m. When I answered the phone he told me he was going to grab something quick for dinner and go back to the office. He asked me not to wait for him for dinner.

After he hung up, I sat up straight on the sofa and turned off the TV.

I looked out our balcony glass door and saw that the balcony light of Wei's apartment was on. Both the window in the bedroom and the balcony door in the living/dining room faced his apartment. He would have seen me sleeping on the sofa if he was watching me.

The phone rang again. It was Wei. "Hi sweetie. Good nap?"

"You're making me nervous."

"Any plans tonight?"

"My sister will call shortly." I lied.

"Do you want to go out for dinner? Maybe the restaurant downstairs at the lobby?"

"No."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes, I'm very hungry. I'm going to heat up the leftovers from this afternoon."

"I'm going to get something to eat. Are you sure you don't want to come?"

"I'm fine."

"OK, I'll call you later." He hesitated a moment before hanging up.

I wasn't hungry at all. I just wanted an excuse to get off the phone with him. I didn't mind his company at all, but felt we were getting a little too close for comfort.

After I finished the leftovers, I took a very long shower. My mind was filled with the questions I had asked myself earlier in the day. I knew what he would want me to do tonight. We would have at least two hours of time talking or chatting. On one hand I enjoyed the time with him, but on the other hand he was making me nervous.

It must have been at least 30 minutes before I got out of the shower. The mirror was fogged up. I swiped the mirror with my hand and looked at myself. I could see subtle wrinkles around my eyes. The crazy things I had done in the last few days made me feel younger and more desirable.

Looking at my body in the mirror, my eyes stopped at my tummy. I should shave off 1-2 kg to keep my waist slimmer. I wondered what Wei would think of me if he were to see me completely naked. The thought sent a shiver through me - I blushed when I realized it was making me aroused. Opening the left drawer, I took out a small pair of scissors and started trimming my pubic hair. I didn't like the after-shave feeling of shaving it bald, and hated it when the hair was growing back in. So I trimmed it instead.

I applied a thin layer of foundation, then put on a robe and walked out of the bathroom. The bedroom lights were off, but the light from the bathroom cast a soft glow in the room. I walked to the window and saw that his balcony light was on. He wouldn't be able to see me clearly, but he'd notice I was standing by the window because of the bathroom light.

My phone was sitting on top of the dresser. Deep inside me I was hoping he would call, but he didn't. My heart was beating faster. I found a nightgown in the second drawer, my purple silky one with spaghetti straps. It was long enough to cover half of my thighs. I laid it out on the bed.

I remembered how it felt when I changed in front of him this morning. With the dim light in the room, I had nothing to lose changing at the window one more time. After all, he saw more of me this morning. I slipped out of the robe, tossed it on the bed, and stood naked before the window. Then I picked the nightgown up by the straps and held it out before me, considering whether to wear it or not. I took my time. I wasn't as nervous as before. I didn't even know if he was watching, though I hoped he was. I stepped into the nightgown and pulled the straps over my shoulders.

Just then my phone rang.

"That was the most erotic thing I have ever seen!"

It was Wei - I recognized his voice. I didn't say anything.

"Can you switch on the light?"

I ignored his request. Instead I laid the phone on the dresser, took some white panties out of the top drawer, and put them on. I did it slowly, making sure he saw my body movements. He couldn't see my lower body anyway.

"Wow!" His voice on the phone sounded hoarse.

I sat down on the bed and switched on the bedside light.

"Yes, perfect! . . . what colour is your nightgown?"

"Can't you see?"

"I could see better if you sit on the far side of the bed. I can tell it is a dark colour. Black? Dark red? Dark purple?"

Then I realized that his view was obstructed by the tinted glass of the balcony railing. He couldn't really see me as well as I thought. My disappointment made me realize how much I wanted him to see me. I circled the bed and climbed up on the far side, as instructed, sitting with my back against the headboard and my legs stretched out on the bed. The nightgown rode up to my hips, revealing my panties. A surge of shyness made me draw my legs up

"Purple," I replied. I looked down and saw that the hem of my nightgown had pulled up to my white panties. My legs and thighs were in full view if he was watching. I knew he was. This little show was making me unsettled. I could hear him breathing over the phone. I could feel his eyes moving up and down my legs. I felt like I was in control of him and the situation. So I just sat there motionless and let him enjoy my little show.

"Aren't you getting tired?" I asked. I could hear his breathing. It felt like he was so close to me.

"No. I don't think I could sleep tonight."

"Tom should be back soon."

"If I were him, I would be spending every night with you."

I ignored his comment.

"I wish I could smell you. What do you smell like?"

His question made me smile - I wondered if he could see that. "Just washed my hair - I smell like shampoo."

"I can see water dripping from your hair to your nightgown. I see your nipples poking out . . . they're quite erect!"

His observation came as a shock, mainly because it was accurate. I was so aroused. My heart was beating fast. My mind was telling me to cover up and stop talking to him, but I didn't. My legs were crossed tightly, but I made no effort to cover my bare legs or hide my erect nipples.

"I love your sexy legs. You must be so proud of them. You must be catching attention from guys every time you go out."

"No."

"Are you sure? At least you caught my attention - and the coffee boy's."

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember the guy at the counter in the cafe?"

"Oh. What about him?" I hadn't really paid any attention to the counter guy.

"He was checking you out the minute we walked into the cafe."

"I didn't notice."

"I'm sure he wouldn't be able to stop looking at you now, if he could see what I do."

"I would never dress like this outside of my apartment."

"Good that I have this telescope. It's priceless."

I smiled. "Your eye isn't getting tired?"

"Watching you -- never enough. Unfortunately I have to go to pick up my boss at the train station now."

"I thought you said you never get enough of watching me," I teased, though I was quite disappointed.

"Trust me, if he was anyone but my boss, I would stay. His train arrived a few minutes ago. I'm really late."

"Okay. You'd better go. I'm going back home Sunday morning."

"I didn't know that. When will you be back?"

"No plan yet."

"Hmmm, anyway I got to go." He sounded disappointed. "Talk to you tomorrow night?"

"I'm not sure. There is a small farewell party for me tomorrow."

"Am I invited?"

"No. It's a small gathering."

"Where are you guys going?"

"Our apartment. We'll cater in the food."

"At least I could watch you during the farewell party if the curtains were opened."

"You're funny."

"One last thing before I go, could you please take off your panties now. Before you say no, I just want you to know this will be fun."

"No."

"I can only look for a few more seconds at most. It will be quick."

"No."

"OK -- just last little request, could you please wear a black dress and sexy underwear at the party tomorrow?"

"I'll think about it."

"OK -- I'm late. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

I was disappointed. I would have taken off my panties if he had asked again. I was tempted when he asked, but I just couldn't do it, at least not on his first two tries. Still, the thought of removing my panties and letting him see everything had made me wet!

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. My panties were already damp. I stepped out of them and looked at myself in the mirror. Exposing myself to Wei had awakened something in me I had never felt before. My hand darted impulsively between my thighs, stroking my slippery sex, pushing me swiftly toward orgasm. I felt like a helpless observer watching my own libido in action. I could hear myself breathing heavily, saw my hand moving faster and faster, observed the frozen, startled look on my face as I came, grabbing the basin of the sink to keep my knees from folding under me.

(5) farewell party

It was, technically, not a farewell party for me, as it was held at the same time as Tom's weekly get-together with his colleagues. Since most of them were away from home, they kept each other company this way on weekends and holidays. Tom suggested calling this particular get-together a farewell party for me.

Five of Tom's colleagues showed up around 7 p.m. One of them came with his girlfriend, he also brought a few bottles of wine and liquor. I knew all of them. It's a small community. We usually hung out with people from back home.

I've attended their get-togethers before. It's mostly food, drinks, and blackjack at the end -- not that exciting to me. The catered foods came at 7:30 p.m. The dining table wasn't big enough to seat everyone, so some of the guests ended up eating on the coffee table or seated on the sofa. It didn't take them long to finish the dinner and start chatting and drinking. They were mainly talking about work, which didn't interest me at all.

The other lady and I exchanged small talk. We didn't have much in common to chat about. She was at least 10 years younger than me and very pretty - I was a little envious when I saw her exchanging amorous glances with her boy friend. When we ran out of topics, I turned on the TV to ease the awkwardness. I flipped through the channels and found a cooking show competition. We both watched the show while the guys gathered around the dining table and started the blackjack game.

It was 9:30 p.m. when the cooking competition show ended. The other lady's boy friend coaxed her into leaving with him. After they left, the guys started getting louder while playing blackjack. I flipped through a few channels and didn't see anything interesting.

I went to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I looked out the window and saw the light was on at Wei's balcony. I pulled out my phone from my handbag and saw two unread texts:

"hi sweetie"

"hows the party?"

I exchanged a few short texts with Wei while I stood in the kitchen.

Just as I was about to leave, John, Tom's colleague, came in looking for a bottle of wine that was left in the fridge. He smiled at me uneasily and asked if I knew where it was. I opened the fridge, bent over and looked for it as he held the door open. He smiled and made a little bow when I found the bottle in the door and passed it to him. I smiled back, just to be friendly. I wasn't really sure John was his name. We were introduced, but I'm bad with English names.

I went back in, sat on the sofa, and started chatting with Wei. We continued exchanging texts.

"thanks for wearing the black dress. like it very much. looks good on you!"

"thanks," I texted back.

"wish I could see you in person now. wish I could be the guy you passed the wine bottle to in the kitchen."

"what? why?"

"he has been watching you ever since you flashed him."

"i didnt!"

"you did. he was looking down your dress when you bent over. your husband and friends are busy playing cards, but he is constantly checking on you. he's watching you right now."

I looked behind me, pretending to check on my husband. He was seated right behind me, facing the opposite direction. The dining table where they were playing cards was behind the sofa where I was sitting. John was sitting across from him, facing my direction. He wouldn't have been able to see anything but the back of my head. I was a little puzzled when he gave me a sheepish grin as I looked around, but thought nothing of it.

"he must have seen your sexy cleavage when you bent down in front of him at the fridge. now he's checking on you."

"no he's not."

"yes he is, he's watching you in the mirror beside the tv. I wouldn't have seen it if i wasn't watching you on the telescope."

There is a wall mirror between the TV and the front door, I use it a dozen times a day. I pretended to look up at the TV. Sure enough, I saw him watching me in the mirror. A shock went through me as I realized he could even see under my skirt from his vantage point. I had to struggle to keep it from showing on my face.

"whats his name?" Wei texted me.

"john."

"I can tell you're wearing a black bra. What colour are your panties?"

"pink."

"nice colour. tonight is your last night here. want to have a little fun?"

"no. im not alone."

"i was hoping to see you in a sexy dress - or nude! :-) . . . but now that we both know john is attracted to you, how about I guide you to show him a little more? it will be fun!"

"no."

"no one will know. he doesn't even know you know he's watching you. he'd never know you were teasing him on purpose. it will be fun! i'll make sure it's safe. if anyone sees, they will think it was just an accident."

I thought about his proposal. After all, I was leaving tomorrow - and for some reason I trusted Wei to handle this correctly.

"what should I do?" I texted.

"sit back a little. let your skirt ride up and expose more of your legs. remember, he's the only one who can see you through the mirror. no one else can."

I did what he said. To be extra careful, I put a pillow on my lap.

"move your pillow to the left . . . now, rest your left arm on the pillow. that way no one else can see you directly -- only through the mirror. My viewing angle is not as good as john's. bear with me . . . now cross your legs."

I hesitated, then crossed my right leg over my left.

"let your skirt ride up higher. we both want to see more of your thighs. ^-^"

Pretending to settle in to the couch, I moved back and forth until most of my right thigh was visible from that angle. At this point the hem of my skirt was close to my panties, but my legs were crossed.

"move the pillow further away from you. i want to see this too . . . your legs are hot! uncross them slowly. hes looking at you now."

I slowly uncrossed my legs, but kept them together. I was getting excited.

"was that fun?" he texted.

"yes." I didn't know what was getting me more excited -- being seen by John or allowing Wei to expose me this way.

"okay, now look at your phone. i want you to pretend you're paying all your attention to the phone. slowly let your right knee fall sideways on the sofa. keep your left knee still."

The couch was quite low so my knees were higher than the seat. Pretending to concentrate on my phone, I allowed my right knee to fall slowly sideways. As my legs opened, my skirt rode up even higher, exposing my panties. No one at the dining room table could see me - except John. I glanced quickly at the mirror and saw John's eyes fly open as my thighs parted. I kept my gaze on the phone as instructed, waiting for a message from Wei.

"good! leave them that way for a few minutes."

I sat there pretending to be bored as the thrill of exposing myself ran through me like a hot, liquid current. I was getting wet! I hoped it wouldn't make a visible stain on my panties. Then I became anxious - Wei had stopped texting me.

"what is he doing now?" I texted.

"he and I are enjoying the view! ^-^"

"ya right," I texted back, closing my legs.

"honestly, we couldn't see much anyway. it was too dark. besides, I couldn't see as much as him. i wish i could!"

Our little game had helped relieve the evening's boredom, but I wondered what would happen now. Then I got another text message from Wei:

"okay, i want you to pretend you're cold . . . stroke your thigh . . . the left one, do it with your left hand! . . . slowly, slowly . . . yes!"

Running my hand along my thigh while being watched felt so erotic. I had to keep my eyes on the phone and act like it was an absent-minded action. I didn't dare look toward the mirror. In my peripheral vision I could see John's head swivel toward the mirror, taking furtive glances.

"now stroke your right thigh with your right hand . . . slowly. rest your left hand between your thighs."

I had to lay the phone on the couch to follow his directions. My left hand rested lightly on the crotch of my panties as I lazily stroked my right thigh while reading his text messages. I didn't dare do more than that. John was staring in the mirror so much I was afraid my husband would notice.

"wow! - looks so sexy! I wish I was the one caressing your thigh right now."

I didn't really want Wei to touch me, but the thought of someone stroking my thigh was so exciting. I kept following his instructions, keeping an eye on my phone for text messages.

"keep pretending you're cold. cross your arms in front of your chest. now, touch your breasts with your hands . . . discreetly, but enough for us to see."

I crossed my arms over my chest and cupped my hands under my breasts , like I was warming them. My nipples stuck out at full attention.

"wow if you knew how much influence you were having on me, you would be so proud of yourself!"

Using my right hand, I typed back, "what influence?"

"I am so excited seeing you."

I knew it meant he had an erection, though there was no way I would ask. I was glad he did, it made me feel more in control.

"do this," he texted, "pretend you're adjusting your bra . . . pinch your nipples between your fingers."

I trapped my swollen nipples between my fingers and pinched them - hard. It sent such a powerful shock wave through me! My mouth flew open. I hoped no one could hear my sharp intake of breath.

"yes!" Wei texted. He must have been watching closely. He paused a moment, then sent another text:

"i have another idea. i think you will love it!"

I picked up the phone and texted back, "whatever the crazy idea is, I'm not interested."