How Many Lifetimes?

*This isn't my usual style, but it comes from the heart - I hope you enjoy!*

The wind howled across the plains as the wolves sang their woeful evening song, making the desert sand seem endless. The warrior closed his eyes and let his mind go. Soon he was aware of her presence. Although he knew it was only a dream, it was a dream he was very familiar with. He had been having the same dream his whole life. And this time was no different. He felt her beneath him, his long dark hair falling around her as he thrust into her, feeling her warmth encircling him, protecting him from the all the dangers around them. He felt his climax growing. With a cry that was ripped from the depths of his soul, he poured his seed into her – marking her as his own, claiming her for all eternity. As his senses returned, he looked out over the vast desert. In that moment, he vowed to the great ancestors that he would never rest until they were united – no matter how many lifetimes it would take... he would find her... they would one day be together...

_______________________

As the ship pulled away from the coast of Cape Spear, the young sailor's head suddenly jerked up and he saw her there on the ridge. The wind whipping his long dark hair into his face made him curse out loud. Brushing it roughly out of his face, his blue eyes locked back onto the solitary figure on the hill. Who the hell was she? Where had she come from? Why did he feel like he had just found what he was looking for? And why did he feel like she was calling to him to come to her? There was no way he could have heard her over the sound of the waves crashing around him, even had there not been so much distance between them.

Fighting the sudden urge to run to her, logic told him there was no turning back from his voyage at this point. But his heart was burning inside him. He had no idea who she was, yet something caused his heart to surge inside him. The feeling was so strong, he found himself clutching at his chest. Almost as though she saw him, she raised her hand and waved. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he promised himself that he would find her as soon as this short fishing venture ended. Then he turned to face the sea.

As the cape faded behind him, he had no way of knowing that he would never return to that beautiful beach. In a few hours, in a watery grave, this lifetime would end ....

_____________

He was known as the "house slave". The man knew that his master had chosen him for this duty because he was different and looked more "acceptable" than the other slaves. Although no one knew what his true heritage was, his long dark hair was straight and his eyes were blue as ice.

As a young child, he had arrived on a slave ship, but no one knew exactly where he had come from or who his parents were. And no one had really cared. No matter what life had presented him, though, he had worked hard and steady.

Only now the slaves were freed – the government had declared it so. And the master was sending them all away – even him. Here he was, a 30 year old man with the first chance in his life to dream his own dreams. He had done the best he could over the years and now he could move on without regrets. But he wasn't really free.

Pulling his hair back and tying it up with a piece of string, he turned his blue eyes one last time to see her. She was busy in the kitchen, not knowing he was about to leave. She was still practically a child – her last birthday had seen her turn only 17. And she was his master's daughter. Being a slave, he had always known his place. He would never touch her, but he would gladly die for her. Since the moment she had been born, he had known in his heart that she was the one he had been made for. He could remember all the times his master had left her alone in his care – he had always cared for her as though she were his own child. But she wasn't. She was the other half of his heart.

Hanging his head at such foolishness, such nonsense that made no sense, he reached for his walking stick. All he owned in the world was tied into a bandanna on the end of the stick. Then he walked away, into a world of possibilities .... ending the hope of this lifetime...

______________

Sitting on the edge of the corral that he had helped build, he didn't even bother raising his head as he heard his father's footsteps. His long dark hair hung down, covering both sides of his face, keeping his expressive blue eyes hidden. His father's lanky frame settled down beside him. "You fucked up boy," his father said with a note of disgust in his voice.

He didn't bother defending his actions. He had fucked up. He had big plans, plans far bigger than this farm. And now his plans had hit a brick wall. Only 19 years old, he had just been told by his 16 year old girlfriend that she was pregnant. He knew what he would do. He knew he would marry her and provide for her and the child. But something nagged in the back of his mind.

"Dad..." He started to search for words to explain what was bothering him.

"What the hell were you thinking, you stupid idiot?" His father's words cut through his attempts.

Shaking his head, he realized that even if he had the words, he couldn't share them with his father. His father's rant continued as his mind wandered. This hadn't been how the story was supposed to go. He used to know that there was someone special... but where was she? He had just imagined her? Not that it mattered... did it? There was no way you could long for another soul, someone you had never even met in this life... was there? Shrugging away his hope, he faced the reality of life without the woman he desperately hoped would wait one more lifetime to find him.

__________________

Standing alone in the field full of weeds, Josie shivered in the breeze. "Great, over 100 degrees out here and I'm suddenly having chills..." But Josie knew that the chill wasn't because of the weather. It was the chill of apprehension. Ok, it was the chill of down right fear!

Josie had heard the talk in town about the loner who lived out on the edge of the woods. She had heard all about how mean he was, how he would kill anyone who set foot on his land, how he could tear apart a stranger with his bare hands. Yet here she was, all five foot two inches of her – standing squarely on his land, so deep into his pasture that there was no way she could hide, even if she tried. What in the world had possessed her to wind up here?

Then she heard it. Somewhere off to her right, far too close for her comfort, there was a very deep, slow and vicious growl. The air around her seemed to thicken instantly with imminent danger. But even as a cold sweat drenched her brow, in the face of perhaps certain death, the irony of the situation struck her. Here she was, sneaking up on this unknown man and some animal had snuck up on her. A somewhat hysterical giggle escaped her throat.

As soon as the sound made it out of her body, totally unexpectedly, the animal, which looked like a mixed breed dog, but was about the size of a small bull, lunged at her. But instead of attacking her, the large beast started jumping around, licking at her and barking happily. Apparently he liked the sound of hysterical giggles! Josie shook her head in disbelief as she held out her hand as the huge dog allowed her to pet him as he continued to prance about.

"You remind me of a cartoon, you silly dog," she said to the animal. The dog's tongue lolled out of his huge mouth as he seemed to agree with Josie.

Josie was too preoccupied with her new friend to notice the shadow that loomed on the porch of the house she had been working her courage up to approach.

The voice calling out to the dog from the porch though caused Josie's thoughts to quickly come back into focus. "Come here, Beniah," roared the no nonsense voice.

Jerking her head up to look at the house, she realized that, although she was now plainly visible in the field, the porch on the house caused the owner of the voice to be completely in the shadows.

Taking a deep breath, Josie called out, "Hello there!"

The deep, gruff voice replied, "What the hell do you think you are doing here?" Then Josie heard the unmistakable sound of the shotgun being pumped.

Gritting her teeth and forcing her feet not to flee, Josie stood her ground. "I came to meet you."

Josie could almost feel the disbelief rolling in waves across the distance between them.

"You best tell me what you want before I fill you full of lead," was the cold response Josie got.

Rolling her eyes, Josie tried again. "I came to meet you. No one in town seems to know much about you and I decided it was time to come get to know you."

A loud snort of derision met her statement.

After a few moments of silence, Josie wasn't sure what to do next. Should she leave? Or should she stay and press her luck. Just as she was about to decide that this had been a huge mistake, the voice on the porch said, "Well, now that you are here, you might as well come on in."

Josie's eyes widened in surprise. That hadn't been what she had been expecting, but she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity to do what she had come there to accomplish. Quickly picking her way through the tall grass, she made her way toward the porch. It had looked a bit closer than it actually was and it took her several minutes to get there. With each step, she wondered what she was getting herself into.

As Josie reached the edge of the porch, a huge hand extended out to her. She tentatively took the offer and stepped up beside the man, whose face she had yet to see. As soon as her feet were securely on the porch, he dropped her hand and stepped back from her. As Josie's vision adjusted to the early evening shadows, her eyes widened.

Josie had been expecting, and half way hoping for, some old codger from all the stories in town. Instead, standing in front of her was a much younger man, very close to her own age. He was a large man, well over six foot tall. His hair was long and black and laid over his broad shoulders. But it was his blue eyes that caused Josie to stop and stare. He was the most beautiful man Josie had ever seen and the only coherent thought she could form was, "There you are....".

With a clear snarl in his voice, he cut through Josie's hazy thoughts. "So what is it you really wanted? To come gawk at the freak?"

Trying to follow his sudden question, a frown creased Josie's brow. "You have a freak out here?" she asked.

Rolling his blue eyes at her in contempt, the man continued, "Me. I'm the freak. Or did the town people leave out that part?"

Josie's brow didn't relax as she tried to figure out if she had ever heard anything about this man other than his anger issues. She couldn't remember anything. Figuring that she really had nothing to lose at this point, she said, "Why do you think you are a freak?"

"I live out here alone. I don't talk to people. I don't have anything to do with anyone in your precious town. Isn't that enough to make me a freak?"

Josie smiled, knowing that he had no idea that it was those very qualities that had caused her to seek him out. The man frowned at her smiling face. Josie decided she didn't need to explain it all just yet, so she decided to change the subject. Holding out her hand, Josie said, "Hi, I'm Josie. And it isn't my town."

The man scowl grew even more severe as he stared at Josie's hand. For several moments, she wasn't sure if he was going to accept it or not. Then he reached out and shook her hand briefly. "I'm Jebediah."

At a loss for words and not sure what to do next, Josie shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Jebediah seemed to notice her discomfort. In fact, Jebediah seemed to be taking in everything about her all at once. Josie watched his face as he clearly debated how much of a threat she posed. Glancing back and forth between his open front door and the stranger in front of him, Josie knew he was trying to decide if he could trust her.

Finally, shrugging his huge shoulders, Jebediah said, "Come on in."

Josie smiled broadly. Maybe she would have a chance to get to know this man after all.

Stepping into his home, Josie wasn't sure what to expect. He obviously lived out here alone and she wasn't exactly sure if he would have any reason to keep house or not. Her eyes widened as she took in the very tidy little dining area immediately in front of her.

A simple wooden table, obviously handmade, sat against the wall, with a chair in front of it. There was a wood stove in the corner. A sturdy cabinet finished out the room, complete with a large sink and open shelves with canned goods.

Jebediah motioned for Josie to sit in the chair as he walked through an open door into another part of the house. She watched as he returned with another chair. It matched the one she was sitting in, which made her assume that he had made them both.

"Not much need in here for two chairs most of the time," he muttered, almost apologetically.

Josie smiled at him, wishing he could see how much she was enjoying herself. But he seemed far too preoccupied by something else to notice that she was quite comfortable in his home.

When he sat down in the chair opposite of her, Josie noticed that his clothes hugged his muscular legs and body. This was the epitome of what a man ought to look like in her opinion.

Searching for something to say to break the ice, Josie asked, "So, how long have you lived out here?"

Although skepticism still shadowed his eyes, Josie could tell that she had asked the right question as he almost eagerly launched into his answer. "I moved out here a little more than 10 years ago. I finished up high school right as the economy went bust. Didn't see any need in going on to school to get some degree that would end up doing me no good anyway. So I struck out on my own. I always liked reading, so I had learned a lot over the years about taking care of myself."

Shrugging his shoulders as he continued, he said, "At first it was just sorta an experiment. I had inherited this little piece of land from my family, and I wanted to see what it would take to make it on my own. But then I liked it so much I didn't see any need to change. I learned how to live "off grid" and set up a life for myself out here with all the things I really wanted. Privacy, peace and quiet, running water and enough electricity to do whatever I want. I grow most of my food, hunt for the rest and make do with what I have. I hear tell that the economy has improved, but I don't see any need to leave. I have all I want here."

Josie stared in amazement at this man. She had heard that he never had contact with outsiders other than the occasional mailman who dropped off his property tax notice each year, but she had thought that was an exaggeration. After listening to his explanation though, she wasn't sure that it was – if what he said was true, he really didn't have any need for contact outside his home.

Glancing around her once more, Josie began to appreciate the things she saw in his home. It was basic and simple, but it was all useful and practical as well.

Josie was startled out of her thoughts by Jebediah's voice. "So what are you really doing out here? I doubt a woman like you hikes through fields every day looking for strange men to interview about their living habits."

Looking down at herself, Josie raised amused eyes up to meet Jebediah's stare. "A woman like me? Exactly what kind of woman do you think I am?"

Jebediah looked her over slowly. Josie had never really wanted anyone to look too closely at her, but for some reason, Jebediah's perusal didn't offend her. In fact, it kind of excited her.

As his eyes finished their appraisal, Jebediah met her gaze. "Well, I would say that you are probably some well educated city girl out doing her first research paper on how us country folks live."

The complete deadpan delivery of Jebediah's assessment caused Josie to burst out laughing. Josie was fully aware that she looked nothing like what Jebediah had just accused her of and the fact that he would tease with her made her relax even more.

As a slight smile crossed Jebediah's face, Josie shook her head in amusement. Josie knew what she looked like. Although she had been raised in the country, she had spent a few years in the city. She knew that she had never fit in there and it had always been glaringly apparent. From the boots she wore every day to the jeans and tee shirts that covered her abundant little body, Josie knew that she would never be considered classy.

But to be honest, Josie had never fit into any category. Nor had she ever really fit into any social setting she had found herself in. After finishing high school in her small mountain town, she had set out on her own. Somehow, in the back of her mind, she had her heart set on going to Texas, but she didn't know why – well, maybe she did know why.

As a child, Josie had had an imaginary friend. At least everyone told her he was imaginary. She was fairly sure he had been real. And she was fairly sure he was somewhere in Texas. But she didn't know where. So as soon as she was able, she took her college fund money and set out for Texas. But her family hadn't been very wealthy, so the money didn't get her very far.

Along the way, Josie had spent several years in various places, working her way through some community college classes, picking up part time jobs, helping people who crossed her path and generally seeking a direction to go next. Lots of people had been drawn to her over the years, but Josie had never wanted to settle down.

During her travels, Josie had met some wonderful men and some not so wonderful ones. Josie was not beautiful by the popular media standards, but her short little ample body, her big eyes and ready smile had attracted enough men for her to know what it was like to be in relationships. But, in the end, she had been the one to walk away each time, moving on toward whatever it was she was driven to find.

It was that quest that had landed her here, in Bathesda, Texas. It was a small town on the edge of the hill country. She had come into town looking for work and ended up getting a job busing tables in the local cafe. It was there that she had first begun hearing about the mysterious man who lived out on the outskirts of town.

In the beginning, she hadn't paid too much attention. It wasn't until one of the customers made the comment that the man who lived out there "sure had a dark personality" that Josie had felt the compulsion to meet this man. It wasn't a curiosity about his personality so much – it was much deeper. Josie's memories weren't completely clear, but she knew that the driving force that led her on was definitely calling her to find out more about this dark souled stranger.

And now here she was, dressed in her normal boots, jeans and tee shirt, her hair stuck up on top of her head with a few random hair pins, with dirt smudges on her face from her trek through the fields. It occurred to her that a normal woman might have dressed up a bit more for the occasion of meeting the man she had felt so drawn to get to know.

Giving Jebediah a somewhat cock-eyed smile, Josie suddenly found it hard to meet his inquiring eyes. What was she supposed to tell him? What was she really there for?

Forcing herself to look him in the eye, Josie said, "I just had heard about you in town. I wanted to get to know you."

Without a word, Jebediah stood up and walked over to the cabinet and took down a glass, filling it with water from the sink. He brought it to her at the table before going back to get himself a glass. With his back still facing her, Jebediah said, "Do you know who you are Josie?"

It was a strange question, but for some reason, it didn't surprise Josie that he would say something like that. Turning to face her, with a very serious look on his face, Jebediah repeated himself, "Do you know why you are here?"