How to be the Perfect Wifebydirtyjoe69©
How to Be the Perfect Wife
A Man’s Perspective
I am going to give you ladies a few pointers on how to be the perfect wife. I know I will probably get a bunch of hate mail but some things you just have to let slide.
Remember women we are men, Neanderthals to the core. We aren’t perfect like you, we are men and we are going to act like men most of the time.
First, and this is a hard one for a lot of ladies to understand but we are going to look at other women. So take it for what it is, a look. Don’t be smacking your guy just because a cute little tart or some sexy thing walks by and his eyes wander. It doesn’t mean he is going to run off with her and have a mad passionate affair. It is just a natural instinct to check out a member of the opposite sex.
Second, and this is a big one that has to be worked out between the couple but porn can bring a lot of trouble in a relationship. Men have been looking at porn since the first nude pictures were available. If you have a problem with it let him know about it. Another way to overcome this problem is to join him in watching or reading the material that turns him on. If the same thing doesn’t turn you on find something that does and then you can each treat each other to your fetishes.
Third, clothes on the floor. If your man is anything like me, then they have a real problem with leaving a trail of clothes after the workday throughout the house. Let me tell you ladies after a hard day we sometimes become retarded and don’t think that clearly. The first thought in my head is I have to get out of these fricking clothes. But when we do this don’t make an issue out of it like it is the end of the world. If you have a problem with it just hint or nicely say “Hey Hun you left your clothes on the floor.” Don’t be condescending and bitchy; be nice it will go a lot further.
Fourth, the dreaded toilet seat! You girls can’t even begin to understand what a pain in the ass it is to raise up the toilet seat time and time again. If he leaves it up then just put it down. You could just as easily put it up after you are done so your man doesn’t have too! And for you ladies that say you fell into the bowl and got wet ass, why the heck aren’t you looking before you sit down!
Fifth, sex, sex and more sex! Do you have a man that wants sex all the time? Do you have a man that doesn’t want sex as much as you? If you have a man that wants it all the time and you just aren’t in the mood don’t get pissed off if he wants relief. Let him jerk off right in front of you and don’t be put off about it (he could take his desires else where). If you have a man that doesn’t want it as much as you, then you can masturbate. I can assure you once a guy sees you masturbating it won’t take long before he is in the mood.
Sixth, if you are a homemaker and don’t have a job be just that. Take pride in your house and make it so your husband can bring over a guest at anytime and not be embarrassed at the state of the home. Keep it clean and he will appreciate your efforts. If you are a working woman then make a schedule between the two of you with duties each will do so that neither of you are feeling that you are doing more than the other. If you are not working it is always nice feeling for a man to come home to dinner on the stove. I know it sounds a bit Leave it to Beaver but trust me he will love ya for it!
Seventh, treat him with a nice unexpected gift from time to time. You know how much you like getting flowers or a card for no reason, well men like getting things too!
Eighth, dress up for him. You want to rock his world. Make a point when you know the kids are going to be out for a period of time to dress up extra sexy for him. Wear your sexiest out fit and serve him dinner. Go up to bed a little before him and have the candles lit and be on the bed in your favorite position waiting for him. We like surprises like that.
Remember we are only men. We are not mind readers. The blunter you are with us the more we will get what you are trying to say. So if you want a glass of water ask for the glass of water don’t sit there and play word games to see if we can figure it out!
I hope I didn’t insult any of you ladies these are just pointers to what this man and many more like me enjoy and want.