How To Have SexbySlimFat©
How to make love. A tutorial for couples
This tutorial is for a man and woman who have not yet had sex together. This tutorial will teach you step by step how to make love with each other and get off on a good start by achieving orgasm for both of you.
Each topic starts with an overview, followed by specific instructions for him and her. Lets get started!
Communication is key for a good sex life. Talk to each other, about everything. During sex, say simple things like "a little to the left" or "go faster". Suggest things that your lover is not doing at all and would improve the experience for you. Read this tutorial together, it's a good way to start off right, so you have a plan together and know a little about what to expect. Some little surprises are exciting, but having an overall plan of action helps.
The Big Picture
You've probably been dating for some time, so the subject of sex has come up. Discuss it more. Discuss birth control. Maybe you won't need that, because you're starting a life together and want to have babies. Good for you! If not, make sure you have a good birth control plan and prepare. Various forms of birth control are available, but none are 100% effective except abstinence: not having sex at all. So, couples should only have sex if they are OK having babies and being together for the rest of their lives. Birth control reduces the chance of pregnancy, but it can still happen. Even the best birth control is only 99% effective, meaning that if you use it correctly, you will still get pregnant once every 100 times you have sex. Think about this and discuss it in depth with your partner before proceeding.
It's important to practice a couple things on your own so you don't make silly mistakes during the heat of the moment. Practice how to use condoms, and how to masturbate.
Him: practice putting on a condom on. Make sure you can do this really well, even with your eyes closed or in the dark. Practice with at least a dozen condoms, they are cheap and it's money well spent. When you buy the condoms, also pick up some personal lubricant, it's right there next to the condoms. K-Y and Astroglide are typical brands. Give this a try too, put a drop inside the condom before you put it on, and also a drop or two on the outside. Then masturbate once or twice with them on so you know how it feels. You've been masturbating for years, so there's no need to practice that any further. But by all means, practice all you want! :)
Her: Buy a box of condoms and practice putting them on a banana. His erect penis will be about the same size as a typical banana, so that's a good test subject. Practice a few times. He should practice too using his own penis, but for some reason if he can't accomplish putting it on in the heat of the moment, you are the backup.
If you decided to use a pill or other medical birth control, you need to visit the doctor and get the prescription. Condoms are pretty much the only over the counter birth control available, everything else you'll have to see a doctor.
Female masturbation is a subject we won't discuss in detail here. There are many resources available to teach you how to do this if you haven't already. Or, have a chat with your girlfriend. The important thing is to figure out how to bring yourself to orgasm, so you can tell him how to do it for you later. It can be a bit complicated, practice makes perfect. Make a note in your mind about things that work for you, so you can point him in the right direction later.
Preparing your environment for making love reduces unexpected issues that might arise, and to improve the overall experience. You both should clean yourself up, take a shower or bath, giving extra attention to your genital areas. It's certainly possible to have sex without taking a shower first, but being clean just takes away possible "yuck" factor. Make sure you have the condoms and personal lubricant ready, as needed.
Him: It is important to provide a stress-free environment. She needs to feel safe and secure, a place that she can relax completely to remove her inhibitions. So, think of all the things that might worry her, and take care of them. Lock the doors. Put out the do not disturb tag. Kennel up the dog. If you live with other people, make sure you communicate to them that you're in "do not disturb" mode. Turn off your phone.
Her: Set up the bedroom the way you feel the most comfortable. Check the lighting, music, and bedding. No rules here, just make the room a place where you feel relaxed. He'll take care of everything else, now is your time to relax.
State of mind
Guys, you are the man here, both literally and figuratively. Take control of the process. Certainly attend to any requests and direction she communicates to you, but she really wants you to be the man. She wants to be submissive.
Certainly many couples like to reverse roles sometimes, have her take control, but experiment later. At the beginning, and probably most times in the future, she will prefer if you take control, from beginning to end.
Maybe this is not the way you think she is...she tells you what to do all the time! But trust me, it's different in the bedroom. She wants to be the beautiful princess lieing there all innocent and dainty, and she wants you to the handsome prince taking away her innocence with your manhood, while she screams with pleasure.
So now you two lovebirds are in the bedroom together, lets get down and dirty. Foreplay is defined as things you do together in preparation for sex. Just about anything goes here.
Kissing: A good place to start. Really long deep french kisses, with lots of tongue.
Touching: Touch each other all over, especially the erogenous zones. We'll get to details about touching each other's genitals later, but light touches there are very exciting for both of you.
Getting Naked: Clothes tend to get in the way during sex, even the skimpiest lingerie. So take off each other's clothes for them. Striptease. Whatever works for you. Some sincere compliments are in order here, about how beautiful their naked bodies are.
Orgasm for her-before penetration
Guys, this is not an option! You need to bring on an orgasm for her before you stick your cock in. This might be difficult , she's laying there beside you, all naked and beautiful, your cock is hard as a rock, almost painfully hard, and you really want to stick it into her warm, wet, tight pussy and just fuck her silly. That's a bad plan. Bringing her pleasure first is an awesome experience for you, you will feel really proud of yourself to get her off. She will get her needs met, and have an awesome experience of her own. Give her at least one orgasm before you start, or at least try really hard.
Note: Most girls can do multiple orgasms, one after another, so make it happen for her, you'll be her rock star. Remember that once intercourse starts, it's basically your turn. Maybe you can make her come during this time, but only about 40% of women can orgasm during intercourse, most need clitoral stimulation, which is difficult to achieve during sex. This is because the clitoris, which is the most sensitive erogenous zone of her body, is located just above the vaginal entrance, and nothing usually touches it during intercourse, at least not during any of the typical sexual positions commonly used.
There are two sure-fire options to bring her to orgasm that don't require extras such as a vibrator or dildo. Option 1: Manual. He uses his fingers. Option 2: Oral sex. He uses his lips and tongue. Details to follow.
But first, how does it feel? The feeling for her: her toes curl, she bends backwards as far as she can, every muscle tightens, at this point she doesn't scream...she's just too tuned in and in that moment, her eyes are closed-nothing else could possibly matter at this stage, she's holding her breath. Then right after a huge satisfaction and relief falls over her and she starts to catch her breath again...
That's how it feels to her. Do you really want to deprive the love of your life of that feeling?
This is fairly simple and can be accomplished by him with little or no practice.
Her: Lie back, spread your legs and relax. Let him take the lead. Communication is key, let him know clearly what's working and what's not.
Him: Lie down between her legs, with a good view of her pussy. Take one hand and separate her inner labia with two fingers, spread them as wide as they go, exposing the clitoris. With the other hand, use your index finger to touch the clitoris very lightly. Barely touch it at all, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, even more so than the head of your penis. This light touch will drive her wild.
It might take a few minutes but it will happen. She will come, just keep touching consistently. After the first climax, just give her a short pause then start up again, or try the oral option, described next.
Oral sex, for her
Dining at the Y
Him: There are thousands of books written on how to do this right, so I won't go into details here.
Oral is an excellent method to bring her to orgasm, and it's fun for you too! To begin, lick all over from bottom to top, all over, then concentrate on the clitoris. The very light touch that we discussed using your fingers works well here too. Suck directly on the clitoris. Make sure to listen to her very carefully, If something you're doing feels good, she'll tell you, if not in words in moans. Once you find something that works, continue that exact thing as long as it takes. Just like the manual option, go for number two if you are successful, maybe even a few more. She's under super enjoyment right now, she loves it when you make her cum with your tongue.
Her: Be very communicative while he's down there. He has a plan, but the details are a bit fuzzy. He needs you to teach him how to make you cum. Even if he thinks he's an expert, he doesn't know you and all your quirks and special things that get you off. Be very explicit with your instructions, tell him exactly where to lick, how hard and how fast. Maybe you'll both get lucky and he starts doing something good, if so quickly tell him. "Yes! Like that!" Work as a team, make it happen together. He will really be proud of himself if he can make you come, and you'll have the time of your life.
Oral sex, for him
This is totally optional. In fact, for beginning couples it is not recommended, because it feels too good to him, and might cause premature ejaculation.
Him: Don't ask for it. Don't bring it up at all. If she initiates, you are a lucky man, lie back and enjoy! The most beautiful woman in the world is sucking your cock. Can life be any better? Another thing NOT to do is pushing her head while she's doing it, keep your hands to yourself. Give her lots of encouragement. If you feel yourself coming towards orgasm, stop her. You need to save yourself for the main event later. Maybe in another session you can cum this way, but not this time.
Her: Wow, that's a big cock. How do I do this? Again, there's tons of info available about how to give head, so we won't go into details here. It's very important to stop immediately if he tells you, or you get the feeling that he may orgasm. You don't want that yet, you want him to cum in your pussy later. Keep him on the edge, but don't cross the line. Lick and suck all over, concentrating on the head. Use your hands to fondle his balls and stroke the lower part of his shaft which is not in your mouth.
The main event begins
Time for a gut check... did she cum yet? If not, go back and try again. Once the penis goes in, it feels really awesome to him, so good that he may not be able to control things for himself, and the whole thing might be over before you know it. After his orgasm, it's physically impossible to continue. His member goes soft, too sensitive to even touch. She's going to be disappointed if orgasm hasn't happened for her.
His penis is hard as a rock. Her pussy lips are throbbing pink. She feels a void in her body that she didn't even know was there, aching to be filled.
Her: Lie back, relax, take a deep breath, spread your legs wide. Give him explicit permission to do this. Maybe he thinks you've changed your mind? It's not too late to say no. If you haven't changed your mind, tell him, something simple like "give me your cock" works just fine. Relax. Tell him to go slow, this is your first time. His cock knows right where to go, it fills up your void and the delicious nerve endings near the entrance are stretched like never before. You might feel some pain at first, but tell him to keep going, slowly. Don't tense up. Take another deep breath. Score! He's in! you're filled up, you don't ever want him to pull out, it feels so good, and hold him tight for a bit, wait for your pussy to adjust.
Him: She's ready for you now. See, her legs are spread wide, she wants your cock really bad. Lube up a bit and/or put on the condom. Her pussy is sloppy wet by this time, but your cock could be dry and a bit of moisture helps. Come up and give her a deep, passionate kiss. Your cock is right there, it can feel the steam from her and knows exactly where that pink target is. Slow, gentle. Really slow and gentle, but all the way in, don't stop. You want to go further but it's reached the end. Stop for a moment to give her time to adjust to your size and absorb the feeling. She doesn't want you to pull out, ever.
Now we're fucking.
Him: Pull out slowly, almost all the way. Then start with a slow in and out, increasing the tempo gradually. If it starts to feel too good and you're about ready to cum too soon, just stop and wait for a few seconds before moving again. Tell her how good it feels, dirty talk during sex is very sexy for most lovers. As she gets used to it, you can stroke harder and faster. There shouldn't be any more pain after the initial penetration for her, you won't hurt her.
Her: Now he's in, all the way. He starts pulling out and you want him back in, don't worry he will. This is the time to succumb to him completely, it's his turn now. Just let him fuck you. There's not much you need do, just lay back and enjoy. You can wrap your legs and arms around him, hold him tight, or give him space, whatever feels good to you. Make it clear that you are enjoying yourself. Try reaching down to feel his penis going in and out of your pussy. You can also rub your clitoris while you're down there to help yourself reach another orgasm.
Her: If it's obvious that he's about to finish, and you still need a bit more action, tell him. Maybe he can pause for a minute and then start up again, helping you. Keep in mind that after he climaxes, everything has to stop, so this is your last chance to get your needs met. But also keep in mind that he may not be able to stop, there's a whole alternate reality happening right now with his "little head" directing the show. He will start pounding really hard and deep, harder and deeper than you ever imagined he could. Just lay back, keep your legs spread wide, and enjoy it! "Grin and bear it" as they say. He will shoot his load deep inside you, and probably almost pass out on top of you.
Him: Before you reach the point of no return, talk to her. See if she's ready for you to finish. She may be working towards just one more orgasm of her own, and needs just a little more cock. Try your best to fulfill her needs.
If you're both ready, pull out all the stops. Thrust hard, deep, and fast. Harder. Deeper. Faster. Don't hold back, her pussy has adjusted itself to you by now, it can take as hard a pounding as you can give, she'll love it and ask for more! You will feel your whole body tighten up, you'll feel your balls pulsing along with the rest of your body. Your cum will shoot deep into her pussy, you'll feel a great sense of relief, then your entire body will go limp, you'll have a hard time even holding your body weight up with your arms. That's OK, just lay down on her chest and breathe.
If you're wearing a condom, it's important to withdraw carefully and quickly. Before withdrawing, wrap your thumb and finger the base of the condom to keep sperm from leaking out, then pull out quickly and move it away from her vagina. Remove the condom and discard.
If you didn't use a condom, just hold her tight. Keep your penis up there in her happy place. It's now super slippery down there with all kinds of bodily fluids, don't worry about that yet, clean up later. This is a good time to express your love to her with hugs and kisses and full body contact. She wants to keep you inside of her as long as possible. Do your best.
Alternate Position 1: Doggie Style
This is a good alternate position to the "missionary" described above. For her, his cock will go even deeper in than before, she will feel super filled up. Due to the different angle of entry, his penis will get a bit more intense stimulation, which may cause him to finish fast, so it may not be a good position to try until he has some practice keeping himself under control. This position is all about the fucking. So go for it, hard and fast if you're into that.
Her: Get up on your hands and knees. Spread your knees apart, and rotate you hips down so that your pussy is back towards him as far as possible. He will enter into you. It's easy to reach back and play with your clitoris to bring yourself to another orgasm, if you want. You can also reach back and play with his balls a bit while he's fucking you.
Him: Get behind her on your knees, and insert. It's easiest to find the target by starting between her upper thighs, then, then pull it up until you it pops into the entrance. Push in all the way, and fuck to your heart's content. You may be able to reach around her thigh and play with her clitoris a bit. Give it a try.
Alternate Position 2: Cowgirl
This is a good foreplay position which gives her control of the insertion depth and speed. She is in almost complete control. He gets to watch the action, see her face, breasts, and get a good view of his cock penetrating her vagina. Keeping the lights on improves the visual for him. But you probably don't want him to cum, you'll both prefer him to be in control for his orgasm.
Him: Lay on your back, with your cock sticking straight up. Lubricate a bit if needed. Just enjoy the view of a beautiful girl taking control and sticking your cock into her pussy. Her pussy swallows your manhood, the feeling like no other. You can rotate your hips in synchronization with her movements to improve things. Make sure you tell her before you cum so she can stop on time.
Her: Stand up on the bed with your feet near his chest, reach down and grab his cock aim it towards your pussy, and sit down on it. Bounce as fast or slow as you desire. You're controlling pretty much everything here, so do what feels good. Let him suck on your nipples. Again be sure to stop immediately if he tells you.
After sex, clean up a bit, then get back in bed and cuddle. It feels good to be lying in bed naked with the person who you just made love with. This is a good time to be very positive with each other about your experience, how good everything felt.
Him: You have an overwhelming feeling that you want to just roll over and go to sleep. Avoid doing that, if you do she'll feel used and abused, and maybe even a bit pissed off. She wants to talk and cuddle. Talk to her. Hold her. Love her. Talk about her , not you. She's in high maintenance mode right now, she needs you.
Her: Avoid touching his penis for a while, it's too sensitive after sex.
Sometime before the next planned session, talk about your experience together. Try to put the negatives in a positive light, give your lover constructive criticism. Don't say "I didn't like it when you did this." Instead say something like "Thank you for trying that, maybe try doing this other thing instead next time." They'll get the hint, and follow through with your suggestion.