How to Make Love to a Lady

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The good guy's guide to fabulous foreplay.
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Sexy, sensuous women are not turned on by a guy talking of his previous exploits, or by hearing about the size and expert techniques he uses to deploy his penis! And, unlike most men who are easily aroused with anything that is visual, women tend to need all five of their senses stimulated in order to become totally turned on! Of course, you cannot plunge directly into acts of sex until you have made sure your lady is relaxed and comfortable, yet also eagerly excited in anticipation of doing the deed! hehehe Many people use the word 'foreplay' to describe that sort of 'getting ready time' before actual intercourse takes place. I prefer to refer to it as 'making love' to your partner. For sure, it is those touches and feelings of love that make the before-sex sex play so tantalizing! With that in mind, here are a few tips and tidbits regarding pleasuring your lady, that I learned from my journey along life's road. I wrote it for your reading pleasure and perusal, with the hopes that someone may learn something new, and use it to make someone else happy!

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE HOW PLEASURING YOUR PARTNER WILL PLEASE YOU. Assuming it is your turn to pleasure your gal, you'd be wise to devote your full, undivided attention to pleasuring her alone, and forget about your own desires for a few moments. You will find that you'll be incredibly hot and rock hard for her, if you take it slow and easy, enjoying fully her every inch, as you delve more deeply into your love making.

START SLOWLY, SOFTLY, GENTLY, TENDERLY. Initially, speaking 'sweet nothings' softly in her ear, combined with gentle touching, caressing and long, tender hugs and embraces should be enough to at least get her interested in engaging in an intimate encounter. These early actions can also include feathering lip kisses on her skin, particularly in the areas of her neck and ears, leading up to fully kissing her on the mouth, with an ever-growing intensity in the length and depth of your kisses. Gradually move your touches and kisses down her body, paying particular attention to her breasts and nipples. By now, you may want to have incorporated some licking, sucking and nibbling mouth action, especially around her erogenous areas. Use your fingers and hands; lips, tongue and mouth to their greatest capacity, as you advance 'around the bases' - so to speak lol - into your love making session.

ASK YOUR GAL LOTS OF QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT SHE LIKES AND PREFERS: Nothing turns me on more then having a man talk to me during our intimate encounter, asking me questions about how his actions make me feel, and what can he do to make me feel even better, in bringing me closer to ecstasy. Long before our actual love making begins, and we are still in the early stages of getting to know one another, it makes me so hot and horny to hear that a guy is truly interested and even intrigued, wondering about all the things that get me off, and turn me on, and drive me wild. Ask your gal specific questions about where, when, and how to touch her, and have her explain in detail the things that will lead her to an explosive completion of her sexual pleasure, by bringing her to a climactic orgasm.

ALWAYS ASK FOR THE GO-AHEAD FIRST and THEN ACT ONLY AFTER ASKING: This ties right in with the tip above, although this time you'll be asking her permission to perform some specific act on her - particularly when all is still new between you and most things remain in that realm of the unknown! For example, before you dive down deep into her breast, and furiously start sucking and nibbling on her left nipple, simply ask, "Is it OK if I concentrate on your boobs for a while?" In other words, springing surprises on her with whatever you are going to do to her next may not be your wisest choice, if you want to make a firm, positive, lasting impression on her. By being polite and courteous in asking permission to touch her private parts, you show you genuinely care and are concerned for how she FEELS about her body and herself as a woman. For it is a well-known and understood, completely given fact that what a woman FEELS is very important to her -- in every respect and aspect of her life, and most especially when it comes to SEX! Yes, indeedy! hehehe Also, asking your gal these kinds of questions, whether it be for permission or just a general query, can be quite exciting and titillating to her. For in that moment of hesitation - when she's answered and is waiting for you to begin - the anticipation can build up in a big way, making her tingle and twitch, and even tremble with expectations of how delightful it will feel when you finally do TOUCH HER!

PLAYFULLY TEASE BUT DON'T TORTURE HER! Since I firmly believe that having sex was meant to be, above all other things, FUN -- teasing a woman sexually can help keep the love making on a lighter note, in adding a laugh or two. For instance, right before you go down on her with your mouth, tease her playfully for a few moments, tickling her gently with your fingers all around the area of her pussy mound -- that being her inner and outer labia lips, her uppermost inner thighs, and of course, that perfectly pink little pleasure button itself -- her very own tiny man-in-the-boat -- her clit. The preferred method of movement to most women when it comes to stimulating their clitoris, is to run one finger in a circular motion all around the outer perimeter of her magic button, and stroking it across the top, in back and forth or circular motions. Take care never to rub too hard -- a gentle touch is all that seems to be required, and it is the repetition and length of time you perform these movements that will make her climax and cum like crazy! Orgasmic teasing is another way to prolong the pleasure for your lady, by bringing her to the brink of an orgasm and suddenly halting your movement for several seconds, then resume, halt, resume... Do that four or five times and when you do finally finish her off, she may very well actually squirt a load of sex juice from her love hole, in an intensely powerful climax. Be careful always to just playfully tease though, and never torture her. Incessant tickling on her most sensitive spots, or toying with her in any way that scares or frightens her, can spoil the sexy mood you've created in an instant, by having the concentration on her pleasure cut off and redirected to a negative center of thought.

KEEP THE THRESHOLD CEILING ON THE PLEASURE DOME! lol That means, remember that making love should be about having fun with feeling pleasurable, good and positive sensations. As far as I am concerned, any kind of pain or hurting should not enter into it at all, no matter if it is directed to the other person or inflicted on oneself. So be considerate, careful and thoughtful in everything you do to, for, and with your partner, in making sure that it all feels good! And, if at any time during your love making session, one or the other of you feels something painful or is getting hurt, even if it seems like a small, inconsequential sensation -- SPEAK UP IMMEDIATELY, and simply say STOP! Then your partner should know immediately that they are hurting you, and to cease and desist from whatever they are doing at that very moment.

KEEP THE PURPOSE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING ALWAYS IN MIND. Some men tend to think that all they need to do, in order to make love to a woman, is to have a nice, big, hard, cock and then to be some kind of expert in knowing how to use it! lol It's guys like that who need to come down a peg or two, and let a little air out of their slightly over-inflated egos. hehehe Making love has virtually nothing to do with any one-in-particular act of having sex, per se. Neither is it some secret technique one can use in combining a whole big bunch of them together. MAKING LOVE to or with another person means exactly what it says it means -- that is, two people -- usually a man and a woman -- sharing and exchanging in equal amounts all of the pleasurable sensations and feelings that result from giving to and receiving from one another. Tender care, sincere respect, gentle consideration, and all of those other quality characteristics contribute to the meaning of what we define as LOVE. If you consciously keep those thoughts in mind while you are doing it, you can rest assured that you are really and truly, and in every way that matters -- MAKING LOVE!

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1 Comments
KennewickianKennewickianabout 18 years ago
A request for an addendum

Superb description, Leslie. It expanded my understanding greatly ... but one omission. Could you follow this instruction with a "how to" on cunnilingus? Nina Hartley issued what was advertised as an instructional film but, in reality, proved to be nothing more than a rather vulgar porno presentation. A clinical description would be most appreciated, together with suggestions on the introduction of this pleasure to an inexperienced woman.

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