How to Write a Good Dirty Storey

If your like me- a sexy, slutty blond nineteen year-old with D to the tenth power tits, boyish hips, who hasn't had sex yet but is still a whore notwith standing and wants it really bad, preferably from her daddy or another comparably geriatric authority figure, and baring that, from a working class ruffian called Chet- you know that good writing skills are the key to pleasing your "target audience!"

Of course, by "target audience" I mean the people you want to read you're storeys, that's a psichological term, but dont let that stop you if you never graduated hi school. Hell thats never stoped me and look where I am someday im going to be asistant manager of this trailor park.

And if your like me, a high school cheerleader/dropout who needs to be punished and plays with all her girlfrinds pussey's cuz she's so horney for man-bat, you know who you're target audience is- sexy older guys- omigod. Makes me all wet down their just thinking about it!! I can see them now- in they're sexxxy dirtie t-shirts the kind with the droopey pocket for there Camel's, cuz they don't have to act like all that, cuz they know how to fuck, not like Billy up the street even though he thinks he'z such hott shit with his "full head of hair" and his "hygiene"- hah, that little fucker he doesn't even have a beer gut- not like the sexxy older men all hunched over and drooling on there mousepads, and compoast heep breathe!!!! yum.

Hey, I think I see my dad! Ohmigod. Look at him. He got a beer gut, hare on his back and the crack of his butt shows when he leans over to work on the truck which give him greas underneath his fingernales which is also sexy too. He's so hott- how could Mommy be such a bitch to him??? She never let him do her in the butt!!! I can still see the tears glisestening in his eyes when he told me " 'lil pricktease-" (that's his special love name for me) "lil pricktease! your mama never let me do her in the butt!!! I feel so sorrey for him and wish he would get a little durt road from momma in bed so's he wouldnt feal so bad all the time and Id feel better to.

And I want to KILL Mommy for making Daddy feel so bad, by holding out on him and not letting him have at her ass-pussey! Who does she think she is? And I told him "Daddy there there I would NEVER do that to you- and you have a rilly big cock and all my friends at school talk about how GOOD it woud feel in they're tiny teen assholes."

And then he's all like "oh I know baby fuckslut, your not like her, come here and give me a big hug" (He calls me baby fuckslut on account of I make him horney with my coochie-cutters and dildo when he spies on me from the hole in the closet when I buzz the beever but rilly I know and I like it so I put on a show) and I sit on his lap and I'm all squirmy and like "Daddy, you know I'm your litl girl and I want cock" and he's like "I dunno" and I'm like "pleaseplaeseplease pound my pucker" and he's like "pitter patter lets get ater"

And my ass is rilly wet for him- which sounds impossible I know but they did find a coelacanth off the coast of Madagascar and Archaeopterix turned out to be fake if you know what I mean! Sure you do Science isn't all that great if you ask me. I mean Im all like "look at Piltdown Man and shit like that". Well I know you didnt ask but thats a figure of speach you know.

And he slams into. My tight virgin butt! And I'm all unnnnnnnnnn ohhhhhhhhhhhh grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and it feels so good but I have to stop and rest cause its really hard to hold out constonants for that long

And then. My dadddy says "Yeah you take that cock Matt Damon!" and I'm all like "huh?" and he goes "Shut up, your Matt Damon!" and so I figure he's probably right! Cause my dad is rilly smart! And hott too! He works at Shoneys as a dishwasher and you don't keep a job for thirty years unless your doing something right! So he's keep pounding with his turgd tubesteak and he goes "I'm gonna poke out yer little brown eye with this billy club

and you like it" "Yes! YES your ripping me in too and it fells so fucking good!!!!?"

"Shut your dingdang piehole! Your WRECKING it for your ole man! An you don't wanna do that now do you- specially since your mama nevr letme call her Matt Damon" And that settles it! Cause I'm not like her. She was a BITCH like I said before.

And my dad looks rilly good all pale and hairy like a man should be And he's kind of out of breatth, probly because he likes to smoke when hes hooked up to oxegyn- silly daddy! His belt buckel is giving me a brooze on my buttcheck but I keep my damn yawp shut!

"Oh yeah fuck yeah" sez my Dad, who smells kind of like mustey nutsac and corn nuts if corn nuts came in MAN flavor!!! "Hey Damon" yells my dad and slapps my ass Ketchakawoo!

And since that's me (even tho I'm not shure what kind of a love name Matt Damon is and i think baby fuckslut is way better)

And I go "What!"

"You know what a "donkey punch" is?"

WHAM! And I'm cummmmmming like never before! Cause I alreddy told you, I'm a virgin.

And that's how you write a rilly good ear.. err.. dirty story. Thats all I really got to say but I haf to get this fucker up to 750 words or they are all like "oh, that storeys to short and we cant acept it because".

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Special thanks to MlledelaPlumeBleu of the Durt Gurl Group