tagHow ToHow To Write, Haha!

How To Write, Haha!


Or rather...how to not care about everyone else's ideal story and create your own fantasy on paper, on computer, online.

I know. You're cringing right now, thinking "gah, another 'writer' who thinks she can teach ME how to be, well, a writer!"

The nerve!

I'm grinning now, thinking of reactions like that. This isn't a story or how-to about how to write the best piece anyone else has ever read. Not at all. Actually, this is how I write without caring what others think. It's something I'd like to share with people because the best comments I get all say that I wrote what was real, something realistic. Less contrived than people are used to.

What prompted me to write was the fact I just had the time to go through some of the public comments people leave on my stories. One of the first rules of writing ought to be "don't read the comments people post on your stories!" The reason for this is that we live in a realm of free speech. And that means anyone and everyone can have their say. It's a good thing. However, opinions are like assholes and everyone has one. It doesn't mean we need to smell them!

To be more to the point and to be more honest to my nature, the facts are that honesty is not an excuse to say whatever you want, whenever you want to say it. And that's what people ought to do. They ought to judge what they say and do and wonder if the person they're sharing their opinion with will walk away from the conversation saying "that was so enlightening and intelligent" or "wow, what a real jerk!" If it's the former, you probably have some great communication skills. But usually it's the latter and you've shared something with someone who didn't really ask for it.

So the first rule is, realize that not everyone who responds to a piece of your writing is going to be someone you need to hear. It's a democracy, they're allowed to talk, and we should let them. But you don't need to hear them if they can't talk positively, or find ways to help or suggest without being outright mean. Yes, people are mean when they respond to some of my stories. I just kind of feel bad for them. Out of the thousands of words we have at our disposal, the best they could come up with were negative words. That's a real shame. Let's not waste our time being angry with them. Let's move on to writing, what we love to do, okay?

You want to write. You've got the hottest fantasy in your head, the kind that makes you masturbate furiously as soon as you get into bed. Most of the fantasies I write about make me feel exactly that way! It doesn't matter to me who the people are in the story, or what names they have or what the plot of the story is. I just want to be one of them, participate in their fucking, and enjoy their sex! I love taboo stories, I especially love force scenarios. When I fantasize, I don't lie in bed thinking things like "well would Mrs. Johnson really do that if she walked in on her husband and the maid?" Who cares? I don't! I just want to see "a wife" walk in on "her husband" and see him fucking "the maid". And if I'm really into the scene, I'll BE the wife -- the maid. Hell I'll even sometimes be the husband (insert mock gasp here). That's what makes me horny. If I can pretend to be one of the characters, then I'm doing alright and I'll enjoy the story after it's on paper, later that night when I pull the quilts up and lay down to relax. That's what makes a good story.

However, we didn't go to English classes for nothing. There are key elements in a story that make it flow better. Sometimes, it's okay to forget that there ought to be a plot, and to just enjoy the naughty raunchy meeting of sweaty bodies. But if you've got an inkling of the story, if there is something special about the scenario that excites you, chances are it's the "plot". The "why" of the story. Why is Mr. Johnson fucking the maid? Why is the maid letting him -- or not? Why is the wife walking in at that exact moment? It's this type of thought process that helps the story be more than just a fuck scene. It helps it become a real story, a piece of writing. Like you, your audience often wants to become one of the characters in the story. But unlike you, they don't live in your head! They can't see the stuff you see when you create this fantasy and drag your fingers over your own skin, thinking about the erotic tale you've created. So you need to share it with them, flesh out that fantasy just a bit. Design the story for them. Let them see that Mr. Johnson feels incompetent around his wife because of her domineering nature, and the maid, an immigrant maybe, is very submissive to his will. He's been fantasizing about her in the same way we probably would! But unlike us, he's right there and he's ready to act! That's the kind of detail you want to share with your audience. Anyone can write "man grabs maid and force fucks her, wife walks in and joins in the fucking". But how many people will put your unique spin on it? Who else will come up with your idea on the "why" of the story? That's your plot, own it, and make it happen for the audience!

One of the sillier comments someone made about a story I shared recently was about the names of the characters. This person actually posted that a story should not have characters with names the same or even similar. I was staring at the comment for a brief moment, disbelieving. I thought, was that the best you could bring? Because it was just crazy.

Yes, there are "rules" to writing. We learn them at the university level, the do's and don't's of writing. DO explain this. DON'T follow this path. DO, do, do. DON'T, don't, don't.

Your third rule for writing? Throw that out the damned window, nail the window shut and ignore the incessant tapping you'll hear for the rest of your writing career. Why? Why take all these courses, then? Why do they teach all this stuff in higher education about how writing should be?

Well, and this is just a theory, it's like the laws of the land. Laws don't exist so that smart people can feel constrained and restricted and bound to silly decrees that just don't seem to apply to them. If you're a race car driver by trade, following the speed limit seems ridiculous when YOU of all people know how to handle a car in a skid. Why should you follow the rules? Why do the rules exist? It's frustrating, annoying and sometimes depressing and defeating!

Rules exist for the stupid. They exist for the innocent. And they exist for those who do not know how to handle a car in a skid, who would crap their pants if a controlled skidding car went by theirs. Those are the people that the rules apply to. Laws are for people who don't know better. And when people who do think they know better follow those rules, we're all safe. When people break those rules, thinking that they are smarter and don't have to follow them, or that the rules don't apply in their case, ignorant and innocent people are at risk.

That's an opinion. Smelly, isn't it! And what does any of that have to do with writing, anyway?

In writing, there are 'rules'. In writing, there are accidents, crashes, dreadful cases of spelling mistakes and editing errors. Atrocious writing abounds! Unlike driving, more people are apt to follow the rules than not. Okay well they like to believe they're following the rules, even when someone else looks and shudders. And we're so terrible when it comes to someone else's writing, especially if we have any experience with the 'rules' ourselves. Oh they should have put an apostrophe there! Oh what are all those exclamation marks doing there? Well I guess they could put a new paragraph there -- if they really don't care about the rules!

For the most part, I follow the rules. I don't follow them because I'm a strict believer. I follow them out of habit, because I had English classes with teachers who made me want to follow them. And for the most part, they work for me. I've got a great editor right now who is teaching me things like that the word "infront" is no longer "infront" but now "in front". Used to be the other way around, you know! So I adhere to some rules, that's the truth.

Do I believe in the rules? I do not. I don't worship them. I don't always apply them. And if I see a story of mine straying, I will let it. Yes. I do make things up as I go along. And no, I don't write out a plot graph for every story. Truth be told, when I start to type a story, I have NO idea how it will end! It's true! Sometimes, I only know the ending, and not the beginning or the middle!

What happened to the rules for writing? What happened to the plot graph, the climax, anti climax -- and other complicated things people spend so much money to learn and that they need to see in a story to feel fulfilled as readers and writers?

Who cares? Not me.

When I write, I just let the story come out. I honestly write stories in my head, from beginning to end sometimes. Other times, I have a pure newborn idea or concept in my head, and I have no idea how it wants to be born until it hits the page. Only then will things start to come together. I stumble. A lot. But I remember that it's about the idea, the fantasy, and not about the rules. The story will sort itself out. A writer's natural sense of creativity will fill in the blanks and flesh out the tale you're trying to tell. When I'm doubting, I don't fall back on the rules. I fall back on what excites me. I've got a lot of stories posted at this site. Take a look at them all when you have time, and you'll see exactly what excites me. There are repeat phrases, words strung together that you'll see again and again. The rules would suggest that to be a good writer, I must deviate from doing such obvious repetition. I, as a "good enough" writer, will tell you that writing is about me, my likes, my wants, my creativity and my desires.

If I'm writing a story, and it's about two people fucking, in most cases I don't care what their names are. There are rules for names, apparently. As a "good enough" writer, I don't care. I might be writing while some television show is on. Suddenly my characters are named Ben and Jilly, Samantha and Tabitha, Theresa and Miguel. Who cares? I usually have no care for that part of the story. I just want them to fuck! And enjoy it like I would if I were them!

I should be clear that rules in writing, like rules of the road, apply in some cases if you want or need them to. If you're really stuck, maybe you need to fall back on them. Maybe you rely on what you've learned in school. There is nothing wrong with that. When you read someone else's writing though, please don't expect them to put as much importance and reverence into the rules as you do. Don't hold other writers up to the same template as yourself. You'll end up giving a stinky opinion, or could end up secretly doubting your own abilities.

The rules exist because sometimes when some people read a story, they can't see anything but the rules. They want to see the hero, they want to see the antagonist, they want to be able to plot the story on a graph and know exactly where the climax is. Anything that deviates from the rules is to them like a highway pile-up. They really feel that great writing, even the most surprising, unexpected plot twists, are all part of the rules.

I don't believe that. I don't think it's truth. And I happily encourage new writers to get into accidents! You're writing your fantasy, you're writing what's exciting to you. Do all your fantasies start with "once upon a time" or an explanation of all events about to happen? For me, the proper use of an anti climax won't figure into whether my masturbation session is juicy or not. I just want my characters to fuck! And that's what lots of the readers want -- to read about fucking!

I should be clear here about the rules. The rules I'm sharing with you are my rules. Consider them "un-rules" maybe. The rules you might have learned at the university or college level are not really my rules, and nothing I could teach you about. My rules are similar. But you can live without my rules! And you can write wonderful stories without my rules! Without any rules and just your own exciting imagination, you'll write stories people want to read.

Guess what? For every pervert out there, there is an artist who creates exactly the kind of art that pervert wants to see. There is a photographer who makes pictures in exactly the right style to please that pervert. There are also writers who will write exactly the kind of story that pervert would want to read.

Believe it.

No matter how "terrible" your work is, someone will enjoy it. In the comments on my stories, you'll find well spoken people berating me for a lack of this or a mis-use of that. You'll also find people just as literate telling me how wonderful I did this topic or handled this concept. I got an email recently from someone telling me I handled the intricacies of incestuous relationships with a true delicate intimacy. What? I did what? Well, okay, I guess they liked the story!

Not all of your fans will be people you want to have in your fan list. Who cares? Why are you sharing your story in the first place? Isn't it to have someone else read it besides you? If you're trying to write the greatest novel ever, a real epic -- stop posting here. This is not the place for someone with such ambitions; at least it's not the place to share such pieces. But if you want to really have people read your work, this place is it. As writers, we usually (but not always) just want to be read! If we wanted to only write for ourselves, we'd probably just take up blogging, journaling, writing in the diary we keep under the bed. If you're writing on a public forum, you want to share your work. There's nothing wrong with that!

Do you want fans, though? Or are you looking to improve your skills? Are you just trying to get your name out there? Or are you trying to see if you really have what it takes to be a writer, one that others will search for and anxiously wait for more stories from? What is it about writing that excites you so much that you take the bold step of putting your stories out in the public eye?

Figure that out for yourself. Don't hear other people's reasons and decide that they are yours. Own your own reasons. Why do I write? I write because the idea that something that excites me will also excite someone else kind of turns me on. I don't write so I can be part of a larger community. I don't write so I can prove how great a writer I am to myself or others. I really am excited by my stories personally, some more than others. And to share them with people who will read them and feel even an ounce of the horny passion these stories inspire in me, well, that's the exciting thing for me.

When people post negative comments on my stories, I tend to ignore it. I've had people send me emails telling me that they went through all of my works so far and have compiled a list of errors, mistakes or faux pas I made. Wow, that's a really bored person right there! I laughed and told the person that they were really just being critical and that I hadn't asked for their help -- more or less a curt thanks but no thanks. The person responded by telling me they were not taking any more email from me and were putting me on ignore. I'm not kidding! I didn't have to freak out on that person, or cuss them or point out how crappy their work was. I think they must have done all that to themselves already in their head. When I didn't give in to the drama and just brushed them off, they kept right on going and pretended I had said the most heinous things. I had indeed insulted them, by the sheer fact that I told them they were not worth my time. When it comes to someone posting negative comments, sometimes that's what they're really searching for. They just want attention.

So another of my rules -- deciding who you want to impress, why you're writing in the first place, and focusing on that instead of trying to pander to the people who make themselves out to be professional writers.

I've really found that great writers do exist here. I've got one as an editor. He's courteous, respectful and always accepting. When he makes notes in my stories, he explains why he would change this or that. He realizes something very important about writing, the next rule I'll give maybe. He realizes that each writer has a certain style that suits them. He doesn't push me to make the changes, he doesn't say that he's the better writer and should know better than me. He really just says things like "I would do this bit like this, but what you have still flows" or "move this to this spot to make it work better, up to you". And he helps me, and I'm eternally grateful to have found him.

Style. What's style? Is it how you wear your hair or clothes? Or is it just the way of things for you? It really is how you are, how you live your life. Attitudes are pervasive. For some people, writing about domination is natural. It's their style because it's something they're familiar with. For others, to write about domination is an opportunity to explore something that they might otherwise avoid. Domination may not be their style. But how they write about new things in an exciting way just might be.

Your style is unique to you. Every writer has their own style. I have mine. I am spontaneous as a writer most times, though I have some great epics going that I just don't share here; it's not the place for sharing those stories. When I say spontaneous, I don't mean in the way that a hot eighteen year old girl is spontaneous. Yum! What I mean for myself is, I don't create my stories to follow the "rules". I write on the spot most times. I also work best under pressure. I don't have much desire to go over my work after the fact and edit it out. I end up cutting "me" out of stories if I do that. Instead I use an editor, something that was very scary for me originally but now has only good benefits to my work. That's my style. I'm in it for the fucking! Even this piece I'm writing now was borne out of spontaneous literary combustion! I saw people posting, thought a bit about what they were posting, and decided I had something to say about it. That's it. And I think that's evident. People can't really say my work is contrived, even when they're grumpily pointing out that it seems JUST like someone else's story, or is a theme that seems popular in a particular genre or whatever. I know that when I sit down, I have no real idea of what's going to happen. To fall back on the car metaphor, I'm the crazy fourteen year old who stole dad's car and is careening down the highway full speed, passing other cars, scaring the poop out of people and dodging in and out of oncoming traffic. That's my style. Out of this come some really great pieces that I'm proud of. For the most part, my stories are just exciting to me and that's all I needed them to be; I needed them to be exciting to me and to the perverts I know who will read them and also masturbate till their hands are sore! What more should a writer ask for, if not that?

Best rule on writing that anyone could give you is to just write. Practice. If you don't know what your style is right now, if you don't know about the rules of writing that others will undoubtedly impress upon you, or if you aren't sure who you are trying to impress -- just get on with the business of writing. The joy of writing!

If you've been told that your work is no good, that you don't know what you're doing, that you should leave writing to those that know how -- take a breath. Realize that these sorts of people are exactly the kind who are not your audience. They're just bored if they're saying mean things and trying to make you feel bad. And don't fall for the "I was just trying to help" line either. Unless you asked them for help, commentary that isn't positive is really just mean spirited.

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byDireLilith© 0 comments/ 32840 views/ 4 favorites

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